


And Time Is But A Paper Moon - Author Commentary Edition

by sami



Series: The Same Moon Shines [17]
Category: myself really
Genre: Author Commentary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 116,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23155927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sami/pseuds/sami
Summary: Exactly what the title says.
Series: The Same Moon Shines [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654885
Comments: 636
Kudos: 697





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not tagging this properly at all, mostly because I don't actually want it showing up in tag searches, etc, but partly also because tagging in this fandom is a NIGHTMARE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reinstated!
> 
> ... I am sad about the lost comments, I am just a massive derp sometimes.

> Okay, let's start with the title.
> 
> Queen is unquestionably my favourite band, and _Teo Torriatte_ is a beautiful song. It also has lyrics that, in various different ways, from various different directions, really, absolutely, comprehensively fit how I feel about various characters and relationships in this story.
> 
> What I had not anticipated about using that title was that it would result in _Teo Torriatte_ being stuck in my head non-stop from the day I added the title until, as far as I can tell at this point, _the end of time_.
> 
> Fortunately, it really is a great song.

Attempt the impossible: that is the Jiang Sect motto.

The pounding on the doors is deafening, but over it, the bellowing of Sect Leader Jiang can still be heard.

"Wei Wuxian! If your plan fails it will kill you. If you don't open this door right now, I will kill you myself!"

> Jiang Cheng/angry love OTP

Wei Wuxian wants to laugh, but the doors reverberate with the loudest impact yet, and he knows that Lan Zhan has arrived.

" _Wei Ying!_ "

The marks painted on the door are starting to show cracks, but it's too late. The array on the floor is complete.

Wei Wuxian stands in the centre, closes his eyes, and blows a few simple notes on Chenqing.

The power comes up through his feet.

It feels like dying.

It feels like happiness.

It feels like it's working.

> A few people were worried about the idea that Wei Wuxian was abandoning Lan Zhan by doing this.
> 
> Here's the thing: I grew up reading a lot of classic science fiction, including quite a lot of time travel stories, of various kinds, and I've seen a few different theories of time travel, and I like the ones that operate, essentially, on the basis of there being a certain amount of conservation of matter and energy in play.
> 
> Which is to say that nothing can truly be _destroyed,_ including a soul.
> 
> If time travel works like Wei Wuxian thinks it does, the reality he's leaving ceases to exist anywhere other than his memory. Lan Zhan is not abandoned, Wei Wuxian is going to run straight into his arms immediately.
> 
> If he's wrong, and the reality he's trying to leave persists, then even if his attempt succeeds, and creates a parallel universe in which this fic takes place, then at the moment the universe is duplicated, so is his soul, which is, after all, part of the universe.
> 
> Which means that about half a second after the point where we leave _this_ narrative, the power dies down in a very anticlimactic way, Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng break into the room, and Wei Wuxian gets yelled at a lot.
> 
> Yes, I thought about this _way too hard_ , because I had the exact same concern about poor Lan Zhan.

\---

At first, things are hazy. He's warm and it's dark, and then it's not; a crushing pressure, a cold shock, sudden pain, blinding light.

Wei Wuxian's consciousness floats. Things are happening to his body, he's being washed and wrapped in a blanket, someone's holding him.

He becomes more aware of the world around him oh so gradually, but it's still so difficult. It's difficult to bring his wayward limbs under control. His muscles are weak. He tries to speak, but can't form the words.

It's hard to judge the passage of time, but he's sure it's been months when he struggles awkwardly to his feet and stumbles towards the woman who is kneeling across the room, delight lighting her half-familiar features at his progress.

He reaches her, falls against her. She catches him, laughing joyfully.

"Mama," he manages to say.

She picks him up and tosses him in the air.

"My brilliant A-Ying!" she beams. "Speaking already!"

\---

He begs, he pleads, he cries. His parents try to soothe him, try to comfort him, but they still go on night-hunts.

He does not know, does not remember, never remembered which hunt, which night, was the one from which they did not return.

He stops trying. but savours every moment with his parents. He watches their faces, files every moment he can in his memory, and smiles and laughs with his parents. He watches them love each other, basks in their love for him.

Years pass. He's increasingly afraid that he's running out of time, now, and begins trying again.

His parents share a strange look, and then his father turns their donkey around.

> I have studied too much about childhood cognitive development to think Wei Wuxian gets to have an adult mind toddling around in a child's body. At this point Wei Wuxian sort of knows what happened, how he came to be here, and he's _extremely_ intelligent and knowledgeable for his age, but he still feels and more-or-less thinks like a child.

\---

He is still small, and he tires easily. He often dozes on the donkey's back as they travel, secure in his mother's arms.

He's vaguely aware of being lifted down, but soon the gentle swaying of a boat - so familiar, down to his very soul - lulls him back to sleep.

He wakes in Lotus Pier. It's bigger than he remembers. It's just as beautiful. Jiang Yanli loves him immediately. Jiang Cheng is wary, but pleased to have a playmate.

His mother explains that Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu will take care of A-Ying until they return.

When Wei Ying's parents do not return, the Jiangs are kind. When he bursts into tears, Uncle Jiang hugs him.

Madam Yu softens at his grief. She hugs him too.

\---

Wei Wuxian knows the rumours that swirl around him, around the Jiang Sect, around Lotus Pier.

He started most of them.

_Madam Yu loves her children, including little Wei Ying, the son of her friend Zangse Sanren._

"Out of my way, brat," the man on the street says, shoving Wei Wuxian aside. A short distance away, Jiang Cheng looks outraged, eyes flashing with fury. Wei Wuxian had been coming to meet him.

"You dare -" he shouts, charging forward.

"No!" Wei Wuxian says, scrambling to his feet. Jiang Cheng stops, confused. "Jiang Cheng! If Madam Yu learns that this man assaulted me, she will be very angry. His life will not be worth living! If you fight him, we will be unable to protect him from her at all!"

"But -" Jiang Cheng begins. Wei Wuxian gives him a look, and he stops.

> In this timeline, Jiang Cheng spends a fair amount of his childhood thinking _what the fuck, Wei Wuxian_.

Wei Wuxian turns to the man who pushed him. "Sir, if you hurry to leave Lotus Cove soon, Madam Yu won't learn who you are. If she does, nowhere in Yunmeng will be safe for you!"

The man stares at him, starts to speak several times. Wei Wuxian meets his gaze, his expression earnest and sincere. He is eleven years old.

The man hurries away, pale and anxious.

_Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu are very much in love._

"I don't think I ever want to marry," Wei Wuxian declares, loud and obstinate. "Imagine always having to be so decorous in public. Look at Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu. Whenever other people are around, they're so stiff. Why can't they just be affectionate all the time? You see how they look at each other. It's so obvious anyway."

"Be quiet," Jiang Cheng hisses, cheeks scarlet. The observers - they are in the midst of a crowd - take this as a confirmation by the Jiangs' own son of their young ward's observations. _Obviously_ Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian must be terribly affectionate in private - even their son is embarrassed that his friend should mention it.

> see. _what the fuck, Wei Wuxian._

When they appear in public, people see what they wish to see. Everyone knows that they are very much in love; their restraint is admirable. (No-one would even think to suggest that Wei Wuxian's existence is the result of Jiang Fengmian's infidelity. Why would he betray a wife he adores so utterly?)

_Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu are strong cultivators, who teach their children well._

Wei Wuxian is determined that his shijie will be safe. Thus, she must know how to protect herself. Few sects attend closely to the cultivation training of their daughters, and shijie, he is certain, has potential that was left to rot.

That will not happen again.

He encourages her in her studies, gives her gentle guidance where she finds things difficult. He realises, with a fresh rush of love, that her cultivation can be just as strong as her brother's, but her strength is different.

Cultivation is driven by will. Shijie protects what she loves with a fierceness that is staggeringly powerful. She will never be strong in aggression, but her defensive prowess is incomparable.

> HARD HEADCANON BEGINS HERE.
> 
> Because if you don't treat magic like science, magic runs a high risk of getting stupid.
> 
> Jiang Yanli's cultivation wasn't really a priority for her crappy, neglectful parents _anyway_ , but I think she would always have struggled, because the powerful cultivators all seem to be very aggressive in nature, and the cultivation stuff features very, very little defensive _anything,_ and she's always most motivated to be fierce when she's protecting people she loves.
> 
> That throwdown on Phoenix Mountain features the one real canonical instance of BAMF Jiang Yanli, in my view, and she's amazing. Sweet and perfectly polite and not giving a single inch because _no-one fucks with her brother_.

Wei Wuxian teaches her secretly. He teaches her wards, and protective talismans. He teaches her to guard against attacks, physical and spiritual. By the time the three of them depart for the Cloud Recesses, she can build stronger defensive arrays than any he has ever seen.

As for her brother, Wei Wuxian knows that it is... a problem... if he is stronger than Jiang Cheng.

So he isn't.

He is, with care, almost, but not quite Jiang Cheng's equal. He is always, _always_ on the verge of exceeding him.

Jiang Cheng strives constantly to keep ahead of him. He works hard, harder than Wei Wuxian remembers, to keep the edge. (Sometimes he yells at Wei Wuxian, because Wei Wuxian does not work hard; it's not who he is, it has never been who he is, and he is enjoying too much being _home_ , with the freedom of a second childhood. He goes boating. He swims. He picks lotus seedpods and hunts for pheasants.)

Uncle Jiang is still stricter with Jiang Cheng than he is with Wei Wuxian. Madam Yu is still rarely satisfied with either of them.

But when guests speak glowingly of the renowned prowess of her children, speak admiringly of the Jiang Sect's teachings of cultivation, when they hint at sending their own children to study at Lotus Pier, she glances at the boys with a small, satisfied smile.

> I ended up with so much headcanon/feelings stuff about Madam Yu that she gets an entire side-story of her own. Because if you look at the canon, and then go for _but what if this person was a three-dimensional character and not a cartoon villain_ , you end up with quite a character indeed.

By the time they leave for the Cloud Recesses, it is known throughout the cultivation world that Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu have raised three of the most promising cultivators of their generation. The flowers of Lotus Pier are discussed alongside the Twin Jades of Lan.

\---

The first night in Cloud Recesses - having arrived without incident, presenting the invitation that he had taken great pains to remember at every stage of the journey - Wei Wuxian is restless.

Lan Zhan is somewhere nearby. He has just emerged from secluded meditation.

_Lan Zhan is here._

It's been so _long_.

He slips out of the guest disciples' dormitory, and floats easily up to the rooftops.

This time, he's not coming back late from Gusu, and he has no jars of forbidden alcohol in his hands.

> Wei Wuxian had a serious drinking problem, fight me

Lan Zhan still finds him, standing in the moonlight with his face turned to the crisp mountain breeze.

"It is after curfew. Rest begins at nine in the evening. Delay is not permitted," he hears.

He can't help but smile as he turns, drinking in the sight of Lan Zhan standing before him. Lan Zhan. _Finally_.

His cheeks ache with it as he sees Lan Zhan's expression shift - he almost can't believe he found Lan Zhan unreadable, once. He watches the thoughts cross Lan Zhan's face, one after another. He disapproves of the violation of the curfew. He's disappointed that one of the guest disciples is already breaking the rules. He thinks Wei Wuxian is really pretty. He's horrified that he thinks Wei Wuxian is really pretty.

> These bits were a lot of fun to write.

Wei Wuxian laughs. He doesn't mean to laugh at him, but - now? Already? Did Lan Zhan really start to fall for him the moment they met?

> yes, you moron

Lan Zhan is angry that Wei Wuxian is laughing at him.

Wei Wuxian bows. "My apologies, Lan Zhan. I couldn't sleep, so I thought to take rest in quiet contemplation. I will return to the dormitory immediately."

He can't resist turning back. "Lan Zhan, you look so pretty in the moonlight!" he calls.

Lan Zhan jumps down after him, and for a moment Wei Wuxian thinks they're about to fight again.

"Shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses," Lan Zhan hisses, and stalks away.

\---

Wei Wuxian tries. He really does try.

But he can't bring himself to listen attentively as Lan Qiren reads through the rules of the Lan Sect, and the other guest disciples are not doing any better.

He looks at Lan Zhan instead. He does so enjoy looking at Lan Zhan, and it's been so long since he could. He looks so _young_ , so small.

> Wei Wuxian Lan Zhan is sixteen and you are significantly older than that and the only reason this is okay is that turnabout is fair play and he was hitting on you when he was nearly forty and you were still, like, twenty-two.

But still so beautiful.

Lan Qiren slams the scroll down, again. He complains bitterly about others not paying attention to the rules, again.

He calls on Wei Ying, again.

"Here." Wei Wuxian stands promptly.

"Let me ask you. Are yao, demons, ghosts, and monsters the same things?"

> This section ripped _so much_ straight out of the book.

Wei Wuxian smiles as Lan Qiren goes through his questions, answering them all easily. He senses the other disciples relaxing around him, and wants to laugh. He's enjoying himself, anticipating.

> Wei Wuxian: troll until he dies, and then also after that

"Let me ask you again," Lan Qiren starts. "There is an executioner with parents, a wife, and children, but before he died, he executed more than one hundred people. He suddenly died in public and, to punish him for his deeds, he was left on the streets for seven days. With the repressed energy of resentment, he started to haunt and kill. What should be done?"

Wei Wuxian waits a moment, trying to look very serious. The other disciples are shifting around them.

Lan Qiren scolds them. "Why are you looking at him? Think about this as well. Don't open your books!"

That's long enough, Wei Wuxian thinks. He answers. "First, liberate; second, suppress; third, eliminate. The initial approach is to make use of the gratitude of his family and grant his dying wish, set free what he could not let go of. If that fails, suppress it. If the crimes were extremely wrongful, and its energy of resentment does not dissipate, exterminate it."

He _may_ have looked it up before class, just to make sure he had the wording right.

Lan Qiren looks stunned. "Not a single mistake was made..." he whispers. Wei Wuxian speaks again before he can collect himself.

"But I have a question."

"Speak," Lan Qiren says.

"Although liberation comes first, it is often impossible. To grant his dying wish sounds simple - it would be easy, if the wish were a new piece of clothing, but what if the wish was to kill lots of people for revenge?"

Lan Zhan answers him. Wei Wuxian has his attention, now. "Thus suppression assists liberation. If it is necessary, elimination would also follow."

> It's cute how Wei Wuxian thinks he ever doesn't have Lan Zhan's attention.

Wei Wuxian smiles. "Of course. But what of the fourth path?"

Lan Qiren scowled. "What fourth path?"

"Because the executioner died in such a way, it is only natural that he turned into a ferocious corpse. Since he executed more than a hundred people before he died, why not dig up the graves of these people, arouse their energy of resentment, and use them to fight with the ferocious corpse?"

Lan Zhan is frowning at him. Lan Qiren is outraged. Wei Wuxian continues without waiting for response.

"There are some things that have no use after liberation, so why not find a way to make use of them? When Yu the Great tamed the flood, obstruction was the inferior method, and redirection was the superior. Suppression is the same as obstruction. Resentful energy is energy, just as spiritual energy is. Why can't it also be used by humans?"

He's expecting the book Lan Qiren hurls at him, and catches it easily, places it carefully on the desk unharmed.

"How will you make sure that the resentful energy only listens to you and does not harm others?"

"The development of appropriate spiritual tools to direct and redirect the energy would be necessary."

"How will you prevent the resentful energy from harming you? Such things cause damage to the heart and the spirit!"

"I can't," Wei Wuxian replies calmly. "But surely that is not important."

"Not important?" Lan Qiren repeats incredulously.

Wei Wuxian's expression is uncharacteristically serious. "Master, imagine, if you will, that you are trapped in a cave with people without spiritual power, and a horde of fierce corpses is attacking you. There is a protective array at the entrance to the cave which could seal them outside, but it is damaged. What would be the correct action?"

> IMAGINE THIS HYPOTHETICAL I TOTALLY MADE UP AND DIDN'T LIVE THROUGH AND WATCH EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID ABOUT IT

"Repair the array," Lan Qiren huffs.

"How would you do that?" His tone makes it clear that he knows the answer.

"A cut to my hand would supply blood with which to mark the missing or damaged symbols."

"Wounding oneself is to cause harm," Wei Wuxian says. "If self-harm is the wrongful path, even for the greater benefit, then is repairing the array with your blood not also the wrongful path?"

> I actually think this is a question Lan Qiren should think about more carefully than he does.

Lan Qiren scowls. "That is different. With care and the use of spiritual energy, the injury can be healed."

Wei Wuxian smiles. "Of course." He bows. "This disciple will take this lesson, and appreciates the correction of the Master."

> you smug little jerk

\---

Wei Wuxian bows formally to Jin Zixuan.

"Jin Zixuan, If you are not too busy, I would like to speak with you privately," he says politely.

Jin Zixuan is not too busy. Wei Wuxian was careful to ensure that this was so before he approached him. Their lessons for the morning are complete, but it is not yet time for lunch. Jin Zixuan is waiting near the dormitories for his obnoxious cousin.

Jin Zixuan returns his bow. "I am of course at the disposal of Wei Wuxian," he answers.

Wei Wuxian smiles. "The courtesy of the Jin Sect of Lanling is well-known," he says.

"How can I be of assistance?" Jin Zixuan asks, and Wei Wuxian is impressed that he can hardly tell that the peacock is gritting his teeth.

"The Jin Sect of Lanling is also renowned for the virtue of courage," he lies shamelessly. "Of course, honesty is a great virtue also. Sincerity in affairs of personal feeling and sentiment is the mark of decency and worth."

Jin Zixuan's eyes widen, and then he glares. "I am not sure I fully understand your point," he replies icily.

> Yes you did, Jin Zixuan.

Wei Wuxian's smile widens.

"It is possible that my shijie would not find it unwelcome if you were to express to her your sincere affections," he says. "However, should you speak cruelly to her, or make her cry, it is _certain_ that I will break all the bones in your body. Some of the small ones are quite difficult to do. I can offer every assurance that I will apply myself with all possible dedication to the task."

Jin Zixuan's face has gone first red, and then pale.

> See if you'd just said "good point, thank you" you might have spared yourself that.

Wei Wuxian bows. "Thank you for your time."

\---

The first time Wei Wuxian attended the Lan lectures at the Cloud Recesses, he missed many, if not most, of the classes due to punishment. He is almost tempted to provoke the same punishments again, to spend more time flirting with Lan Zhan, but he does not; partly, because he has an important goal, and partly because this is fun. So very much fun.

> Trolling Lan Qiren is not an important goal, Wei Wuxian.
> 
> (It's not his only goal, but let's be realistic, it's up there.) Edit because I realised I probably should have been clearer about what he's actually intending to do and less offhand-joking: Lan Qiren is very rigid of thought, and in between Wei Wuxian's first two lives, that rigidity got Lan Zhan beaten almost to death. So Wei Wuxian is, genuinely, trying to disorder Lan Qiren's complacency _before it gets to that_.

Besides, he flirts with Lan Zhan at sword practice, at mealtimes, and in the evenings, and never once backs off and tells him it was just a joke. In class, Lan Zhan can have a break. (Lan Zhan does not ignore him during class. Lan Zhan watches him like he can't tear his eyes away. Lan Zhan is horrified that he is arguing so much with Lan Qiren. Lan Zhan thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever seen. Lan Zhan is appalled that he thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever seen.)

> Lan Zhan thinks everything Wei Wuxian does is the hottest thing he's ever seen, and he's really conflicted about that right now.

Lan Qiren seems almost to have forgotten the other students, or that Wei Wuxian is a mere disciple. It is as if he is arguing with another adult, forgetting that Wei Wuxian is a student himself.

For all that he really does _feel_ like a teenager again, there are ways in which Wei Wuxian is considerably older than Lan Qiren is now. It's a fair fight.

> Right up until someone starts throwing other people's dead mothers into the mix, sure.

"Proper cultivation of established methods assures success," Lan Qiren snaps. "Inefficient methods are incorrect methods."

"Is every problem always simply identified?" Wei Wuxian asks. "If methods are applied to a complex problem that are believed to be correct, and the problem is not resolved, cultivators must be prepared to adapt."

> He's not wrong.

"With proper study, all problems will be identifiable to one who works diligently and is attentive to all signs! If anyone should know that undisciplined methods are too dangerous, it is the son of Zangse Sanren!"

> _He's_ wrong. Really, Lan Qiren, how could you?

Wei Wuxian's mouth opens. He does not speak.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO
> 
> I am a derp and pressed wrong buttons and taunted people with chapters that don't exist
> 
> like, I haven't even WRITTEN THEM yet
> 
> So I edited out a couple of spoiler things from this one that I will now have to add in to later parts of the commentary but HAVE THIS APOLOGY CHAPTER

There are gasps around the classroom. Even Lan Wangji cannot help but look at his uncle, aghast.

He has lived his life by the rules of the Lan Sect. He can recite them from memory, has been able to do so for as long as he can remember.

> I totally ripped a whole bunch of these from [this list](https://my-otp-list.tumblr.com/post/178014806440/so-i-heard-youve-been-wondering-what-are-the).

Uncle has broken several. _Harmony is the value. Do not act impulsively. Be careful with your words. Be respectful and humble. Do not give up on learning._

The senior disciple of the Jiang Sect is... difficult, but that is no excuse.

_Be strict with yourself. Be easy on others._

Uncle meets his eyes, and looks away. Lan Wangji thinks he may be shaking.

> Lan Qiren is having an emotional crisis right now, that is only even a little bit alluded to later, and I don't think I'm going to make a side-fic out of it, so here's the backstory to this in my head:
> 
> Lan Qiren is not a bad man. He genuinely loves teaching, he likes young people in a way most Lan Elders very much do not, but the thing is that he's been a devoted guardian to his nephews since they were tiny, and he's _really proud of them_. He's not wired to be loving or affectionate or even to accept in himself that he loves those boys and would die for them and just wants them to be happy and successful, so he's channeled all of his sentiment into his pride in their accomplishments.
> 
> This went wrong, in canon, because when Lan Wangji started to stray from the pure and orthodox path, Lan Qiren did not adjust to that well or fast enough.
> 
> At this point, he brought Lan Wangji into the classroom to be the One Who Knows Everything and demonstrates the goal, the ideal the other disciples should be aiming for, and then his careful setup where he asks the tricky question they don't know the answer to got answered flawlessly by this undisciplined little shit who can't sit still _ever_ , and who argues with him with knowledge and confidence and _really strong arguments_ and sometimes he _wins_ , and Lan Qiren has just completely lost all emotional balance or stability about it at this point, and he didn't realise how bad it was until _this exact moment_ , when he said the thing he knows instantly he was absolutely wrong to say.

_Honour good people. Uphold the value of justice. Shoulder the weight of morality._

A wrong has been committed.

Lan Wangji stands. So does Jiang Wanyin.

"Class is finished for today," Lan Wangji says, and takes a breath. He wishes he had the gifts of others, in speech, that he knew how to moderate his voice, how to be gentle, as he turns back to his - his classmate.

> It is an important part of my interpretation of the character that everyone thinks Lan Wangji is all pure and noble and Above It All when in fact he is actually just a socially awkward potato who is kind of a massive bitch sometimes. ("You are not qualified to speak to me." You magnificent bitch, Lan Wangji.)

Wei Ying is paler than Lan Wangji has ever seen him. He is still looking towards Uncle, but does not seem to be seeing him.

> Wei Ying, meanwhile, thought that this was all an intellectually stimulating discussion with someone who's genuinely quite brilliant and knowledgeable, and then that happened.

Jiang Wanyin is moving to him, putting his hand on Wei Ying's shoulder. He looks almost as helpless as Lan Wangji feels - almost - but his glance towards Uncle suggests a level of fury that - well, it is as well that the training and discipline of the Jiang Sect of Yunmeng lives up to its renown, or Jiang Wanyin might break some rules himself.

> Jiang Cheng is experiencing murderous rage, because while he is happy to tease Wei Wuxian and see him teased about things that aren't a big deal, on subjects where Wei Wuxian is genuinely vulnerable - like dogs, or his _dead mother_ \- you do not fuck with Wei Wuxian where Jiang Cheng can see you.

There is a clatter as Uncle moves with incautious speed to leave the room. The other disciples start to talk, but Jiang Wanyin silences them with a glare. They, too, leave, but silently.

Wei Ying has lifted one hand, placed it on Jiang Wanyin's forearm, but is otherwise unmoving.

Lan Wangji's chest is aching. "Wei Ying," he says. He wants to say more but the words catch in his throat, tangle in his mouth, like they always do.

> I like this line. I hope it works as well as I think it does.

He's not sure when it happened, but Lan Wangji is now standing next to Wei Ying, very close.

> fuckin magnets how do they work

"Lan _Zhan_ ," Wei Ying answers, more than half a sob, and then he turns and buries his face in Lan Wangji's neck. Lan Wangji can feel him shaking, feel his tears against his skin.

He doesn't know what to do. He looks at Jiang Wanyin, who is looking as astonished as Lan Wangji feels, although his shock appears possibly to be directed at Lan Wangji.

"You!" Jiang Wanyin hisses, smacking Wei Ying on the shoulder before returning to a grip that's clearly meant to be comforting. "Is it not enough that you argue with Master Lan Qiren, now you assault Lan Wangji? What, am I not good enough to cry on? You're always making trouble!"

> Jiang Cheng is a little bit freaked out that this will cause embarrassment to the Jiang, and a little bit hurt that Wei Wuxian turned to someone else, and a little bit worried that Lan Wangji will be angry and that will make this worse, and a little bit shocked that Lan Wangji doesn't appear to be angry.

"Not trouble," Lan Wangji manages to say. Hesitantly, awkwardly, ears burning in embarrassment, he moves, pats Wei Ying carefully on the shoulder Jiang Wanyin isn't holding. "I am. Sorry. That Uncle. Spoke wrongly to Wei Ying."

Jiang Wanyin stares.

\---

Lan Wangji is in the Library Pavilion to study. Study is important. He is not there simply to distract himself from the memory of Wei Ying shaking against his chest, of Wei Ying sobbing his name and turning to Lan Wangji like Lan Wangji could help, could be of comfort, like Lan Wangji is more than one of the Twin Jades of Lan - like Lan Wangji is - a person who is important to him.

> Being a "Twin Jade of Lan" is probably not that great. No-one treats them like _people_.

Jiang Wanyin was right there.

Wei Ying turned to Lan Wangji. As if Lan Wangji were _worthy_ of such trust, such confidence.

Wei Ying let his tears fall on Lan Wangji's shoulder while Jiang Wanyin berated him, until Wei Ying turned back, beginning to laugh.

"Jiang Cheng is jealous!" he teased. "Don't worry, Jiang Cheng, your senior brother will always be here for you, even if I marry Lan Zhan. Always," he added, with a curiously serious note to his voice.

"Who's senior? Who's jealous?" Jiang Wanyin spluttered. "My whole family has no face because of you! You're lucky Lan Wangji doesn't fight you for such outrageous behaviour!"

Jiang Wanyin made a show of pulling Wei Ying away as if in fury, even though his hands were gentle, and Wei Ying had time to pat Lan Wangji's arm almost - almost affectionately.

He'd smiled at Lan Wangji, a watery smile that still didn't seem teasing at all.

It was some time before Lan Wangji gathered his thoughts enough to move.

> No description of what Lan Zhan was thinking through that because there wasn't anything. His inner monologue was just _eeeeeeeeeeeee_.

\---

The next day, his brother takes the class, instead of Uncle. He does not call on Wei Ying. Wei Ying does not volunteer answers.

Lan Wangji is not worried about Wei Ying. He is concerned because Wei Ying's participation in the class has been valuable. The other disciples have been scrambling to keep up; Lan Wangji knows that Wei Ying is often talking to them late at night, explaining things and helping the weaker students to understand the subjects that they study.

By late afternoon Lan Wangji is nearly frantic with his concern for the educational wellbeing of the other students.

> I really amuse myself sometimes.

He catches himself looking at Wei Ying whenever Brother asks a question, or even if a student does - Wei Ying more than once intercepted a question asked in class before Uncle could answer.

He forces himself to sit straight and look forward. It is forbidden to sit with a disgraceful pose.

"Psst! Lan Zhan!"

His head snaps around.

Wei Ying is still looking towards Brother, but his hand moves. A folded piece of paper flicks across and lands on the desk in front of Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji looks up, aghast, but Brother is looking at the opposite side of the room. Jin Zixuan must have done something to attract his attention - Brother has quite abruptly started firing a serious of testing questions at him. Jin Zixuan is the heir of a powerful sect. It is appropriate that he should be expected to be most knowledgeable. All of the other students are watching, some with poorly-concealed amusement as Jin Zixuan becomes increasingly flustered.

> yeah, he's totally doing it for the sake of Jin Zixuan's exemplary status as a representative of his sect, and not at all because he's deliberately distracting everyone else so Wei Ying can flirt with you.

Lan Wangji unfolds the piece of paper.

It is a drawing of him. Quite a good one.

In the corner, Wei Ying has written: "Handsome!"

Ears burning, Lan Wangji shoves the piece of paper into his sleeve.

> Years later, Wei Wuxian is looking for something in their home, and finds a box, and in that box he finds this drawing. And he goes _awww_ , and puts it away exactly where he found it, and never says anything, but Lan Zhan gets _spectacularly laid_ at the first opportunity, even by their own remarkable standards for such things.

\---

Days later, Wei Ying looks tired. He's slightly pale, and his eyes are red-rimmed. Has he not been sleeping?

> Being short on sleep is contributing, sure.
> 
> Even for Wei Wuxian, taming a waterborne abyss and sealing it for transportation is not a quick or easy task. He's sneaking out every night.

He meets Lan Wangji's eyes and smiles secretively.

"Psst! Lan Zhan!"

Something flies across the aisle and lands on Lan Wangji's desk.

Brother finishes his sentence, and startles the room by suddenly chiding the disciple two desks behind Jin Zixuan for inattention, questioning his recollection of Brother's lecture on clan genealogy. The disciple is struggling, and Lan Wangji is not surprised - few students remember the details of other sects' family relations without time for study and memorisation. Brother is being very strict.

> Brother is being an asshole, is what he is, at least from the perspective of his victims, but he's one hell of a wingman.

It will only push the disciples to learn better. Lan Wangji approves.

He unfolds the little paper packet.

The note reads: "We went to town! I promise we were back before curfew. I got you that candy you like! There were more, but I forgot and ate some. Sorry!

> because Wei Ying is always a little shit, but he makes it cute

It had been wrapped around a slightly sad, squashed lump of dragon's beard candy.

Lan Wangji has not eaten candy in a long time.

How could Wei Ying know that this was his favourite?

Brother is still sternly questioning the student. He has walked between the desks. His back is to Lan Wangji entirely. Everyone is looking at Brother and the hapless disciple.

Lan Wangji takes a quick bite from the candy, before wrapping the rest in the note again and tucking it into his sleeve.

> EATING IN CLASS Wei Ying is like "this is so working, he is definitely open to considering life outside strict adherence to the rules"

\---

"Psst! Lan Zhan!"

Lan Wangji is in the Library Pavilion, repairing a damaged book.

Wei Ying is climbing in the window.

What.

"I brought you something!" he says cheerfully. He reaches into his bulging sleeve, and pulls out two rabbits.

_What._

Lan Wangji opens his mouth. Wei Ying cuts him off.

"Pets are forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, I know, I know," he says breezily. "That's why these aren't pets. They're food!" He laughs uproariously at Lan Wangji's expression. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! They're friends. Definitely not pets. Friends. I thought you might like them."

He scratches behind the ears of one of the bunnies, and is gone.

Lan Wangji stares at the bunnies.

> lanwangji.exe has encountered a problem and has shut down.

\---

Lan Wangji attends carefully to the construction of his sky lantern.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says.

Lan Wangji looks up. Wei Ying still looks very tired, but he is still beautiful.

Wei Ying smiles at him. "Shall we set a lantern together to make a wish?"

Lan Wangji doesn't meet his eyes. "I'm used to being alone." It never used to bother him. Or at least, he never used to notice that it bothered him.

> I think Lan Zhan was always lonely, and had just... accepted that, and then Wei Wuxian disordered his entire existence and he took a while to realise that he liked it, but he also struggled because he thought Wei Wuxian was just _teasing_ , that he didn't _mean it_ , that he didn't really _like_ him. And he was embarrassed by the way Wei Wuxian teased him, that it hurt him that Wei Wuxian would make him feel things and then laugh at him for it.
> 
> This time that hasn't happened.

"You can change. Besides, my lantern is made for you." Wei Ying shows him the rabbit he has painted on his lantern.

It's _adorable_.

Lan Wangji feels the smile that comes unbidden to his lips, but as he looks up, Wei Ying just smiles back warmly. Lan Wangji feels his heart do something strange in his chest.

They release the lanterns to the sky. As they take to the air, there is a murmur of voices as the disciples make wishes.

Lan Wangji thinks, treacherously: _I wish Wei Ying would never leave._

Wei Ying clasps his hands. "I, Wei Ying, wish that I can always stand with justice, and live without regrets." His voice cracks slightly on 'regrets'. He pauses, and then speaks again, very softly. "And that always, I can be with Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji's hearing is very good. He still wonders if he must have misheard.

The group begins walking back to Cloud Recesses. The female disciples take the path back towards the women's barracks and classrooms, and some of the male students begin a discussion of possible future cultivation partners.

Someone asks, "Jin-xiong, who do you think is the best girl?"

Wei Ying had looked like he was about to speak to Lan Zhan, but at this, his head snaps forward, and he looks at Jin Zixuan. Lan Wangji tells himself he's not disappointed.

Jiang Wanyin is also looking quite intensely at the Jin sect heir.

Another person speaks. "It's best for you not to ask Jin-xiong about this. He's already got a fiancee, so his answer would definitely be his fiancee."

Jin Zixuan's lips twitch in apparent displeasure. Wei Ying's eyes narrow.

The first disciple continues, oblivious to the rising tension. Lan Wangji makes a note to discuss his lack of observational skills with Brother. "Really? Which sect is she from? She must be extremely talented!"

Jin Zixuan raises a brow. "Forget it."

Wei Ying asks sharply, "What do you mean, forget it?"

Jiang Wanyin does not, on this occasion, chide Wei Ying for his manners. He, too, is glaring darkly.

Jin Zixuan looks back with cool composure. "Is gossip about my fiancee a fair subject for discussion?"

> Zixuan is still shy, but a) he likes his bones intact and b) while he still doesn't like that the decision to marry Jiang Yanli was made for him, she has an _outstanding_ reputation, so he's less of an ass about it, and he is, again, already in love with her.

Wei Ying looks barely mollified. Lan Wangji speaks. "Gossip is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."

Chastened, the other disciples drop the subject, and walk faster. Wei Ying, however, slows down. Lan Wangji automatically matches his speed.

"That guy," Wei Ying says. Somehow, he conveys a world of criticism. "Hey, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying takes a deep breath. "Have you thought about what you might want in a cultivation partner?" He stops walking and faces Lan Wangji.

He looks oddly nervous.

Lan Wangji does not say that he has imagined Wei Ying as his cultivation partner for weeks now. He does not say that the thought of Wei Ying cultivating with someone else makes him want to break things. He does not say that he wishes Wei Ying wouldn't tease him so, that Wei Ying would leave him alone and stop flirting with him, because he is afraid that if he does, Wei Ying will no longer tease him so, will leave him alone and stop flirting with him.

> So he ends up very conflicted, because it's less hurtful, when Wei Ying doesn't laugh at his reactions, but he has low self-esteem when it comes to his value as _a person_ rather than as a Twin Jade of Lan. He's in turmoil about it, because this shit has been going on for _months_ now, but the only thing worse than Wei Ying teasing him and flirting with him would be if he stopped.

Lan Wangji does not say anything.

Wei Ying glances up the path, where the other disciples have now passed out of view. Their voices are fading into the distance.

"Do you think," Wei Ying says, "that you might someday want to be cultivation partners with me?"

It hurts.

> But that's too far for him to take that when he still doesn't think Wei Ying would want someone like _him_ that way.

"Do not joke," Lan Wangji grits out, and starts walking again. Wei Ying grabs his arm.

"I'm not joking!" he says.

Lan Wangji stops, turns back, unsure.

Wei Ying looks into his eyes. "I like you, Lan Zhan. I really like you. I want to be your cultivation partner. I want to be by your side. I want -" He hesitates. "I want to kiss you. Lan Zhan, I love you."

Lan Wangji is not sure how it happened. Once again, he is standing very close to Wei Ying. When Wei Ying says that he loves Lan Wangji, Lan Wangji can feel Wei Ying's breath on his lips.

"Yes," Lan Wangji says.

Wei Ying's smile is radiant. Lan Wangji wants to know if Wei Ying's joy can be tasted. He wants to kiss Wei Ying, here and now.

Lan Wangji does.

\---

It is days later, and Lan Wangji is conducting a final night patrol before curfew. He is happier than he remembers being since - he is happier than he remembers ever being. Wei Ying has remained attentive. After the evening meal, Wei Ying came back with him to the jingshi. Lan Wangji feels cared for, feels _loved_. And kissed. Very kissed.

He did not object when Wei Ying left still quite some time before curfew. Wei Ying still looks so very, very tired. Lan Wangji approves of his getting extra sleep.

Lan Wangji is, therefore, surprised and displeased to hear Wei Ying's voice inside the Library Pavilion, and is still more displeased when he hears another voice answer - a woman's voice, speaking softly and gently. (Technically it is not forbidden for female disciples to come to the Library Pavilion, but it is very close to curfew.)

They are not loud. To anyone with hearing less keen than Lan Wangji's, no doubt they would be inaudible.

Eavesdropping is forbidden. Lan Wangji moves to the pavilion window anyway.

> He's on patrol, he's totally making sure these aren't thieves just pretending to speak in the voices of guests, or something. Seriously, Lan Zhan will come up with a justification for breaking any rule he feels like breaking, because he is pure Lan and the Lan are hypocrites in a lot of ways.

"I'm not happy about this, A-Xian," the woman says. _A-Xian_? So familiar! Lan Wangji feels his lip curl.

"It's fine," Wei Ying says lightly. "It's not important."

What's not important? Are they talking about Lan Wangji? About their... Wei Ying whispered so many promises, of love and always between kisses that sparked like lightning.

Lan Wangji is not his father. He will not force Wei Ying to stay, will not hold him as a prisoner to Lan Wangji's love.

He wants to. But he won't.

> Congratulations on being a better person than your terrible, awful father. We will return to this subject later in this commentary. (Much later.)

"Not important at all, I promise," Wei Ying is saying, still painfully casual. "I'm just not sleeping well."

Lan Wangji has found an angle that lets him see, just, into the pavilion, to where Wei Ying is sitting very improperly, leaning back on his hands.

His attire is also improper. His clothing - even the undergarment! - has been pulled loose and pushed back, baring Wei Ying's chest.

It's a very, very nice chest. Lan Wangji feels as if he may be breaking the rule against acts of promiscuity just by looking at it.

> Wei Ying: *exists*
> 
> Lan Wangji: _hnnngh_ that's so hot

Lan Wangji wishes he were noticing the niceness of Wei Ying's chest less as the woman moves back into view. She is, he supposes, not _completely_ ugly, but she is clearly a woman of low character, who should not be in the Cloud Recesses at all.

> a totally unbiased opinion, for sure

"A-Xian, don't lie to me," the woman says. Her voice is still soft, but stern. Wei Ying seems to wilt.

"It's - it's almost finished," he says.

What's almost finished? Is Wei Ying almost finished with his dalliance with Lan Wangji? Lan Wangji wants to die. Perhaps he should just leave, and return to secluded meditation at least until the guest disciples have gone.

> Dramatic!Internal!Monologue! Lan Wangji is very important to me. Especially when he's a teenager, because... _teenagers_.

"Hmm," the woman says. She's holding a brush and an inkwell. She dips the brush and lifts it to Wei Ying's chest, and starts drawing something that looks like an _array_.

Wei Ying smiles at her warmly. It's not the smile he gives to everyone so freely, or even the smile he gives to Lan Wangji. She has her own special Wei Ying smile, and Lan Wangji feels sick. "It really is. I'll be fine. I didn't realise I'd drained the ward until it was too late. You know nothing can hurt me with my shijie's protections."

> HER OWN SPECIAL WEI YING SMILE

Lan Wangji freezes.

Shijie?

"Many things can hurt you with your shijie's protections," the woman says, a laugh in her voice. Her hand is steady. As she completes each of the symbols she is painting, it seems to sink into Wei Ying's skin, as if they were painted with a needle and had long since healed. "Your shijie would prefer that A-Xian avoid all of them."

> For this chapter I did research into tattoos in Ancient China and whether Lan Zhan would know what they look like. The phrase _painted with a needle_ came up as a way that such things were described - they weren't common in most of Chinese society, iirc, were a bit barbarian, but they knew what they were. And I really liked that phrase, which is a translation of a description in an ancient Chinese text, so I stole it.

Wei Ying pouts. "But that would be so boring," he says, in an exaggerated sulky, childish tone. "Poor XianXian would wither away from the boredom."

"XianXian would just go entertain himself with Lan Wangji," she replies archly. Wei Ying gasps. Lan Wangji is pleased at the suggestion. Does Wei Ying's shijie know? Does she approve?

> Yes and yes. Wei Ying was an idiot to try and pretend on this, because shijie knew and approved before they even got to the Cloud Recesses.

"What? No! I -" He looks like he wants to flail, but holds very still as the brush is still moving on his chest. The circle is nearly complete.

"Ah-ah," she says. "I told you. Don't lie to me."

Wei Ying makes a thoughtful sound. "What if I decided to go study?"

She does not respond as she paints a line that curls all around the outside of the symbols. Reasonable. Wei Ying has not, to Lan Wangji's knowledge, been seen studying since he came to the Cloud Recesses.

> Wei Ying: I could go study
> 
> Literally everyone: I'm disappointed you even tried that

"Or I could annoy Jiang Cheng," he suggests. That is at least plausible, but it is an inferior suggestion.

"You could. You often do," she agrees. "There."

The line is complete. Her hands move in the air, forming a soft, warm glow that builds rapidly until it's almost painfully bright. Even outside, Lan Wangji can feel the power of it, warm like the summer sun. She presses it to Wei Ying's chest, over his heart, and the marks she has painted flash before fading almost to invisibility. Wei Ying sits up and begins fixing his clothing.

> Headcanon elaboration: Jiang Yanli invented this technique. It is difficult as hell to do, especially to do _safely_ , which... she does, because she's amazing, and because she loves Wei Wuxian very, very much.
> 
> It's a protective ward that keeps dangerous energies and the like at bay, keeps them from hurting him, and it's very, very powerful.

"Thank you, shijie," he says softly. She smiles and cups his cheek. She's very beautiful, Lan Wangji thinks; clearly she loves Wei Ying very much.

"Take better care, A-Xian," she says fondly. "Now we must both hurry and return to the dormitories before curfew. Don't delay."

"Yes, shijie. Goodnight, shijie." Wei Ying smiles at her radiantly, and they both slip out of the Library Pavilion.

Lan Wangji has trouble sleeping that night. Even after nine, he lies awake for several minutes, thoughts whirling.

> SEVERAL MINUTES
> 
> as a chronic insomniac, I wrote this line and thought _fuck you Lan Zhan_ and then thought it again when my beta commented on the line

Obviously the woman is Jiang Yanli. Her reputation is clearly well-earned - there was significant power in the ward she created. Lan Wangji has never heard of such power being applied directly to an individual like that, inked onto his skin - but she had clearly done it before.

> because she's just that cool

What could Wei Ying be doing that could erode such strong protections?

> Stealing a waterborne abyss. Someone left it lying around.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well look at this my digression about Jin Zixun is no longer a massive spoiler
> 
> edit: I also accidentally deleted chapter one trying to fix accidentally posting a later chapter while someone was talking to me FML

In the morning, he dresses and does not begin his day with meditation. It feels strange and slightly unsettling, but he nonetheless walks briskly (running is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses) to the guest disciples' dormitory.

He is surprised at the state of the guest disciples. Several are still asleep. Most of the rest are dishevelled, not ready to begin the day at all, even though it is almost a third of the hour past five. Lan Wangji notices several reacting with shock at his passing, but pays them no mind; he is looking for the chamber Wei Ying shares with Jiang Wanyin and Nie Huaisang.

> Whole lot of "wtf is Lan Wangji doing here" going on, seriously.

Jiang Wanyin sees him first. Jiang Wanyin is, at least, upright, even if his robes are not entirely neat and his hair is untidy. He casts his comb aside. It strikes Nie Huaisang, who mumbles a complaint.

"Good morning, Lan Wangji," Jiang Wanyin says loudly, bowing. Nie Huaisang bolts upright and scrambles out of bed.

> Jiang Cheng is always a true bro.

The sight is, Lan Wangji realises, comical. But he is disconcerted to realise that Wei Ying is not in the room. His bed is made, as neatly as if he never slept in it.

> Because he didn't.

"Jiang Wanyin," Lan Wangji says, returning his bow. He does not know how to ask after Wei Ying without being impolite, but both of the guest disciples are waiting expectantly.

He is saved from the awkwardness he has created by the arrival of Wei Ying.

> I have a thing that Lan Zhan is _aware_ of the awkward way people react to him, and he doesn't really like it, he just doesn't know how to fix it, especially since it's still not his nature to be particularly _chatty_.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying calls as he approaches. Lan Wangji finds himself turning to look without conscious decision to do so. He has not seen Wei Ying yet today. It feels overdue.

> Combining the effects _actual true love_ with _also still simultaneous ridiculous teenage crush_ too stronk.

"Wei Ying," he says.

Wei Ying still looks tired, but the pallor to his skin has recovered, and his eyes are no longer red-rimmed. His hair is damp. He must have woken promptly at the correct time, and gone to wash.

> Alternatively, he didn't sleep even a little bit and spent the entire night fucking around with a waterborne abyss in the middle of a lake.

The light of the dawn catches on his eyes, his smile, the ribbon in his hair. Lan Wangji is considering this carefully, and is fairly confident that Wei Ying is, objectively, the most beautiful person who has ever existed. He has reflected with care on his methodology and analysis, and is certain his conclusion is correct.

> super objective, good job

Wei Ying is saying something to Jiang Wanyin, who hisses something in return, and then Wei Ying-

Then Wei Ying _takes Lan Wangji's hand_ and pulls him with him as he walks away from the dormitories.

Lan Wangji is aware that he is smiling. It is inappropriate to be overly happy. There is a rule.

He can't seem to stop.

\---

Wei Ying leads him confidently along the winding paths of the Cloud Recesses to a meadow overlooking a stream.

> It's almost like he lived there for literally years and knows his way around and also all the best places to go chill.

He talks to Lan Wangji, lightly and cheerfully, and doesn't seem to mind that Lan Wangji is awkward and quiet and doesn't know how to answer, most of the time.

> Socially awkward potato falls in love with guy who doesn't mind he's a socially awkward potato, what happens next will shock you.

"Today there is a reward for coming to see me," Wei Ying says, beaming as he pulls a wrapped bundle from his sleeve. "Look! Breakfast! Much nicer breakfast than otherwise." He unwraps a packet of steamed buns, still warm, and hands one to Lan Wangji.

It's his favourite kind. He can't imagine where Wei Ying got them - they taste like the ones sold in Caiyi Town, but it's too early in the morning for Wei Ying to have had time to go there and come back.

> Lan Zhan being all cheerfully oblivious to the signs of what's going on because he's just like _well Wei Ying is amazing so obviously he found some way to do these amazing things_ is somehow my jam. Wei Ying bought them in Caiyi, Lan Zhan. He hit up the people who sell them at like 4am when they opened to sell to the _other_ workers on their way to their jobs, and then he came back to Cloud Recesses just in time for when the gates opened.

Wei Ying leans against him as they eat, watching rabbits nose their way cautiously from the shelter of the trees. Wei Ying has also brought a small bag of lettuce, and entices the rabbits closer with it. One comes close enough to reach, and Wei Ying scoops it up, cuddling it to his chest as he turns to Lan Wangji.

"Lan Zhan -" he begins, but Lan Wangji can't stand it any more, and leans over to kiss him.

> I have aphantasia, visuals aren't my thing, but I am pretty sure Wei Ying smiling in the morning sunlight holding a bunny is cuter than Lan Zhan can really cope with.

The rabbit kicks against his chest, and he leans back just enough to give Wei Ying room to put it down before kissing him again. He feels Wei Ying's smile as he leans back, pulling Lan Wangji down with him to lie on the grass.

> Later, Jiang Cheng will make threatening comments about Lan Zhan defiling Wei Wuxian before marriage.
> 
> Jiang Cheng would absolutely say this counts.

Lan Wangji nips at Wei Ying's lower lip, trails kisses along his jawline, mouths at his neck. He feels daring, lightheaded with the rush as he noses Wei Ying's collar aside. He thinks of the marks painted into Wei Ying's chest and bites at his collarbone, harder than he means to, harder than he probably should. Wei Ying hisses in pain but doesn't push him away, arches into him instead, whispers his name.

> kinky little shit
> 
> It is, by the way, a part of my headcanon that throughout the events of this story and beyond, Wei Wuxian is going to deal with some tricky kink negotiations and the like because this Lan Zhan is less traumatised by events and grief and pining and is less into the weird shit they get up to in canon, and also there are phases - like after he recovers from Jin Zixun's attack - where Lan Zhan is processing his new, different traumas by being super-paranoid about _not leaving any marks at all_ and Wei Wuxian finds that weird and sort of upsetting.
> 
> They work through it, because communication is important in relationships, but part of that does end up being Wei Wuxian kind of accepting that _seeing him almost die_ was traumatic for his loving husband, and he's just going to have to wait while Lan Zhan works through his feelings, and endure the trial that is gentle sex. (Like, he could say no, obvs, but the choices at this time are _gentle sex_ or _no sex_ and let's be realistic here.)
> 
> The thing is, canon!Lan Zhan had a whole lot of _issues_ around Wei Ying involving leaving him and dying and being oblivious to his feelings and shit, whereas this Lan Zhan has _different_ issues around Wei Ying _nearly dying_ but _without_ leaving him, but there's a certain element as well, in my head, about how Wei Wuxian has spent this whole time kind of ambling through life like he has it all worked out in advance, because he sort of does? And he wandered into the Cloud Recesses and just completely undid Lan Zhan's _everything_ , so one of the things about their sex life is that Lan Zhan _really, really_ likes that in bed, he can take Wei Ying apart as thoroughly as Wei Ying took him apart. Everything about Wei Ying is attractive to him, but Wei Ying desperate and begging and incoherent with want is pretty much his favourite thing in the whole world. He's less overtly possessive, because everyone has always known that he and Wei Ying are _a thing._ Wei Ying has never flirted with other people in front of him, even, because he knows now that upsets him, so Lan Zhan has fewer jealousy issues - just so, _so_ many _Wei Ying being in danger_ issues.
> 
> So even when Lan Zhan isn't going through one of his _I saw you covered in bruises including handprints on your arm where they grabbed you and I can't take seeing marks on you at all_ periods of trauma response, Wei Ying is often tormented by Lan Zhan going _really slow_ and being just _excessively_ gentle and tender because Lan Zhan has discovered that that drives him absolutely insane, and enjoys that possibly too much.

It won't show once Wei Ying fixes his clothing, but he imagines a mark being there, hidden, even later when others are around. He imagines it glowing with his spiritual energy, imagines that he, too, can protect Wei Ying from whatever it is that threatens him.

> He also kind of has a _Wei Ying being safe_ kink, and it's going to result in some really, really weird sex talk when Wei Ying works that out.

\---

Eventually they hear the bell to call disciples to morning classes. Lan Wangji reluctantly pulls away, despite the way his whole body seems to protest even the slightest distance from Wei Ying. They fix their clothing. Lan Wangji goes behind Wei Ying to brush grass off the back of his robes, and kisses behind his ear.

Wei Ying laughs softly. "Haven't you had enough yet?" he asks teasingly.

"Will never have enough of Wei Ying," Lan Wangji answers honestly, and hears Wei Ying's breath catch. (He has thought about it. He is confident. Every moment with Wei Ying just makes him want more.)

"I forgot how wonderful Lan Zhan's compliments are," he says nonsensically, and turns to look Lan Wangji carefully up and down. "Ah, Lan Zhan, your headband is crooked! I didn't do it, I promise."

He looks oddly nervous, and Lan Wangji kisses him again, because he can, and because it makes Wei Ying smile again, then reaches up and unties the ribbon.

Then he puts it in Wei Ying's hand. "Fix it for me?" he asks. He doesn't think Wei Ying will know what the request really means, but he doesn't have to. Lan Wangji wants this, wants to see it in Wei Ying's hands.

> Wei Wuxian is a dumbass for doubting whether Lan Zhan will want to continue the relationship after the reveal, because seriously, Wei Wuxian, he's already being all _touch my ribbon_ , actual sex would be less forward and unseemly than this. Lan Zhan is basically being all _act like we're married_ , his uncle would spit blood.

But then he thinks perhaps Wei Ying _does_ know, because Wei Ying looks positively _shocked_ for a moment before his smile returns, brighter than ever, and he reaches up and ties the ribbon on straight very, very carefully.

"Yes, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says, and kisses him again.

> and you knew and you did it and said yes, you have basically just agreed to marry him, you know he takes that shit seriously.

They have to walk much faster than is strictly encouraged in the Cloud Recesses to get to the training fields in time.

\---

As it turns out, there is no training this morning. Brother finds them as they're assembling with the other disciples. He glances between Lan Wangji and Wei Ying, smiling, and then bows to Wei Ying.

"Please forgive this interruption, Young Master Wei. I must speak with Wangji for a moment," Brother says.

Wei Ying returns the bow. "Of course, Zewu-Jun." He steps away and joins Jiang Wanyin.

"Where were you at breakfast?" Lan Wangji hears Jiang Wanyin hiss. "Did you eat? I saved some food for you. You shame my mother if you skip meals! People will think we never accustomed you to eating!"

"I ate, I ate!" Wei Ying protests. "I had breakfast with Lan Zhan, I promise."

"I should feed your breakfast to animals!" Jiang Wanyin scowls. "Is he bothering you? I thought you were bothering him. You are a ridiculous person, and you are making Lan Wangji ridiculous. If he hurts you I'm going to break his pretty face."

> That exchange is seriously dear to my heart. Angry!Loving!Jiang Cheng is my favourite Jiang Cheng.

Lan Wangji wonders if his expression reveals anything as Jiang Wanyin shoots him a narrow-eyed glare. He wonders what Brother thinks; Brother has observed the same interaction, but he can't have understood what Jiang Wanyin is implying, because he is smiling in a way that suggests that something has pleased him greatly.

> oh Lan Zhan.

Brother turns to Lan Wangji, and they walk a short distance away for privacy.

"The Nie Sect Discussion Conference is due to begin," Brother says, "and Uncle is still in seclusion. He is..." Brother pauses. "He is meditating on self-discipline, correct behaviour towards others, and the balance of his qi."

Lan Wangji nods. Uncle broke a number of rules. Such transgressions require correction. It is the responsibility of an experienced cultivator such as Uncle to consider his failures and take care to avoid qi deviation.

"I will attend the Discussion Conference in his place," Brother continues. "I should not be away too long. Classes will be cancelled for the duration. I hope that the guest disciples will pass the time in reflection and meditation." His tone, when he says that, is very bland. The guest disciples, Lan Wangji knows, will probably go drinking in Caiyi Town and stay up far too late.

Brother certainly knows this as well as Lan Wangji does, so Lan Wangji does not say anything.

"There is business, however," Brother says. "There is a water ghoul in Caiyi Town that must be exterminated. When I was looking for you, I happened to meet Jiang Wanyin of Yunmeng. It seems that the disciples of the Jiang Sect are very experienced with such things. I thought perhaps that with the head disciple of the Jiang Sect and the children of Jiang Fengmian, you could eliminate it without too much trouble." He raises a hand in admonition. "If there is difficulty, return to Cloud Recesses at once for reinforcements. If necessary, wait for my return. Take no unnecessary risks."

"Why not take more disciples now?" Lan Wangji asks.

"It is only a water ghoul, and the reputation of the flowers of Lotus Pier is admirable. The four of you should be sufficient in both knowledge and strength." Brother's smile widens slightly. "It might be nice for you to spend some time with them."

Lan Wangji follows his gaze to where Wei Ying is standing with Jiang Wanyin. They are elbowing each other roughly, but both are laughing. Lan Wangji is not at all sure that he wants to spend time with the Jiang siblings. They are... worrying.

> Tough shit tbh

"Jiang-guniang will meet you at the gate," Brother says, and walks away.

\---

The flight to Caiyi Town is uneventful. They land, and ready two narrow boats.

Lan Wangji intends to share a boat with Wei Ying, but he sees Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli exchanging a look. Jiang Wanyin raises an eyebrow at Jiang Yanli, who shakes her head slightly. They stare for a moment, and then Jiang Wanyin huffs, Jiang Yanli smiles, and they both stare expectantly at Wei Ying. Wei Ying looks back with a defiant expression for several long moments before throwing his hands up in the air.

> Trying to write people having a silent conversation from the perspective of someone who does not understand it; surprisingly tricky
> 
> Jiang Cheng: Aren't you going with him?
> 
> Jiang Yanli: Nope, you're doing the friendlier version, I'm going after so I can threaten him.
> 
> Jiang Cheng: But -
> 
> Jiang Yanli: We could argue about this, and then you do what I tell you, or you could just do what I tell you right now.
> 
> Jiang Cheng: ... Fine.
> 
> Wei Wuxian: But I'm sharing a boat with Lan Zhan, he's _my_ boyfriend.
> 
> Jiangs: It's really cute that you think that but no.

"Fine!" Wei Ying exclaims. "But if you overdo it, I'm telling Madam Yu that you embarrassed the Jiang Sect! Don't you dare frighten Lan Zhan!"

He and Jiang Yanli jump together into a boat and set off without another word. Jiang Wanyin boards another and looks expectantly at Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji is not sure what is going on, but he's suddenly quite nervous.

He steps into the boat.

\---

Jiang Wanyin takes the oars. He handles them expertly, but still rows quite slowly away from the shore.

And then he stops rowing, allowing the boat to drift.

"Lan Wangji," he says, "has a reputation for honesty and unimpeachable behaviour."

Somehow, this does not seem like he is complimenting Lan Wangji.

"Mn," Lan Wangji acknowledges warily.

"I can not pretend that Wei Wuxian has such a reputation, or that he would deserve it," Jiang Wanyin says. He's not looking at Lan Wangji, but rather gazing straight ahead at the mist that curls on the water. "Nonetheless." He turns to Lan Wangji with a smile. The smile is pleasant. It is neutral. It is entirely devoid of humour, and it is terrifying.

> Jiang Cheng has been planning this for days, he's just been waiting for an opportunity, and he is Being Very Dramatic.

Lan Wangji is frozen in place. He does not know how to respond at all.

"A-Jie and I decided that I would tell you the rules."

"Rules?" Lan Wangji asks weakly.

"Rules." The smile disappears. "We will permit you to... spend time... with Wei Wuxian. These are the rules you will follow."

> by "we will permit" he means "my sister says I'm not allowed to stop you"

It does not escape Lan Wangji that the rules are not being presented as a choice. That is understandable. Lan Wangji is very accustomed to rules, and rules are not optional.

He listens carefully.

"If you see a dog, or hear a dog, any dog or dogs, even tiny, adorable puppies that couldn't possibly hurt anyone," Jiang Wanyin says, "you _must_ protect Wei Wuxian. Keep them away from him." He leans towards Lan Wangji. " _Even the puppies_ ," he says intently. "Wei Wuxian is terrified of dogs. _Terrified._ We don't know why, but he is, and if he's going to go around with you and not me, _you_ must protect him."

> It only comes up as a slightly throwaway line in a side fic, but: in this timeline, Jiang Cheng's puppies weren't taken away because Wei Wuxian's afraid of them.
> 
> Jiang Cheng's parents brought up the idea of getting him dogs, Wei Wuxian cried, and Jiang Cheng said he didn't WANT any stupid puppies, puppies are BORING.
> 
> (Similarly, in the future, there will come a time when Jin Guangyao says to Jiang Yanli, "I was speaking to a fellow who trades in spiritual dogs, and I thought that -" and he will read the room, and finish "- such things would have no real place at Jinlintai and are beneath the dignity of a young cultivator so noble as A-Ling. What gift do you think might be appropriate for him?")

"Dogs," Lan Wangji repeats gravely. This is important information, and he is grateful to Jiang Wanyin for providing it.

"He is reckless and sometimes takes too much risk," Jiang Wanyin continues. "Try to keep him from doing anything too stupid. He is shameless. Try to keep him from bringing shame upon the Jiang Sect. If he cooks for you, _do not trust the food._ He is a terrible cook and makes everything insanely spicy. If possible, do not let him cook under any circumstances. He burned a hole in a pot once." He exhales. "That will probably do, for now."

The rules are simple, and easy to remember. Lan Wangji is relieved. Jiang Wanyin gives him a crooked smile.

"Did you think I was going to threaten you?" he asks.

Lan Wangji nods.

"I wanted to," Jiang Wanyin says cheerfully. He begins rowing vigorously. "But A-Jie won."

> She literally always wins, the only thing that's still puzzling is that he continues to try

\---

They catch up to the other boat quite quickly.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying calls, with a smile. "I hope Jiang Cheng hasn't been too cruel!"

Jiang Wanyin huffs. "Having to cope with such a person as you is already too cruel," he snaps. He guides the boat expertly to match speed with the one carrying Wei Ying and Jiang Yanli, so close they are almost touching, and then sets the oars down and holds out his hand.

Jiang Yanli takes her brother's hand and steps lightly between the boats. Jiang Wanyin then jumps across to join Wei Ying, takes the oars from him, and starts speeding the other boat away again as she turns to Lan Wangji.

> Jiang Yanli is capable of jumping between the boats just as well as her brothers do. _That's not the point_. The point is that the boys will do everything they can for her, while they can, and she will allow it, so she will step gracefully from boat to boat with her brother's hand to steady her, even though she doesn't need it.

"Don't worry too much, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying calls, his voice fading already into the distance. "I'll see you very soon!"

"Jiang-guniang," Lan Wangji says.

"Second Young Master Lan." She smiles. "I have been looking forward to an opportunity to talk to you for _such_ a long time."

> About six years, at this point.

Lan Wangji swallows.

Her smile is truly lovely. It is warm, and seems sincere. He's not sure that doesn't make it worse.

\---

Her manners are exquisite. They have not really spoken before; she attends to the necessary pleasantries with grace and apparent sincerity, expressing appreciation for the hospitality of Cloud Recesses and gratitude for the opportunity to study with the learned cultivators of the Lan Sect.

Lan Wangji cannot recall feeling this unsettled since - at least since he began cultivation training.

When, finally, all niceties are complete, she, like her brother, turns to look at the mist.

> DRAMATIC JIANG HABITS

"A-Xian is a very special person," she says. "He is always very cheerful, even when things are very hard or painful for him, so it is sometimes hard to know when he is sincere." She pauses. "He is more sensitive than he would ever admit."

Her smile is gentle and warm as she turns to face him. "There are things that you do not know about A-Xian. I am certain he will tell you. I think it will be soon. The things he has to say will be very difficult to believe, but please understand, they _are_ all true."

Lan Wangji can't imagine disbelieving anything Wei Ying would tell him.

Jiang Yanli continues to speak. "I know you are a good person, Second Young Master Lan, and I trust that you will not be careless. But it is necessary that you understand that he is... already devoted to you. He will not turn away from you. But he can be quite oblivious and unsure of himself, so please try always to be direct about important matters."

Her expression becomes very, very serious. "It would be very unfortunate if someone important to him were to be careless of his feelings." A chill runs down Lan Wangji's spine.

> _my brother is in love with you and I will protect him at all costs, ps if we have to fight please keep in mind that while it will take me some time to do serious damage to you because I'm not very good at that, you are literally not capable of getting past my defenses so it's going to take a while but I will end you if I have to. be good to my lil bro and we can skip it_

Jiang Yanli raises her voice. "A-Cheng! Come back!" she calls.

\---

Lan Wangji is relieved when Jiang Yanli crosses back to the other boat and Wei Ying comes to join him.

"I hope they weren't too harsh on you," Wei Ying says. His tone is light, but he is looking at Lan Wangji like he is truly nervous.

"They. Care. About Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says, because he understands it, he does. "I." _Be direct about important matters._ Jiang Wanyin did not include that rule, but perhaps that was an oversight. Jiang Yanli is polite, but Lan Wangji is certain that this, too, is a new rule for him to follow. He takes a breath, assembles the words with care. "I understand. I love you. Want always to be with Wei Ying."

The words all came out like he wanted them to, but Wei Ying looks like he's about to cry. Lan Wangji was clearly in error, and now the Jiangs are going to hate him and take Wei Ying away to protect him.

> socially awkward potato. fear his socially awkward potato powers.

Lan Wangji dares to glance at the other boat. Jiang Yanli has clasped her hands to her mouth, and Lan Wangji heard her gasp when he spoke. Jiang Wanyin looks positively murderous.

This is terrible.

They are supposed to be hunting a water ghoul, and now Lan Wangji may have caused an outright enmity with the Jiang Sect of Yunmeng.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying wails. "You can't just _say_ that, my poor heart can't take it!"

And then Lan Wangji is being kissed again.

If Wei Ying actually wishes this to be a rule, the discipline for violation should be less enjoyable.

"I've changed my mind, this is the worst thing ever and I hate it," Jiang Wanyin mutters. "Hey! Idiot!" There is a splash of water. "If a water ghoul tries to eat you, I'm going to let it!"

"Hush, A-Cheng," Jiang Yanli says. "Leave them alone. I wish every man could be so honest."

Wei Ying breaks the kiss and turns. "Is that peacock still being an ass to you? I'm going to beat him until he _begs_ to confess his love!"

Jiang Wanyin looks like he wants to agree, but Jiang Yanli raises a hand and both of her brothers fall silent.

> Yunmeng sibling dynamics all on display here.

"We won't find the water ghoul if you're so noisy," she says. "Our necessary discussions are complete. It is time to hunt."

\---

Wei Ying pulls two pieces of cloth, a brush, and a pot of ink from his sleeve and quickly marks designs on the cloths. Lan Wangji doesn't get a good look at either. Wei Ying tosses the cloths across to Jiang Yanli, who smoothes her hand over the designs. Rather than smudging the ink, it seems to dry and set it. She passes one cloth to Jiang Wanyin and the other back to Wei Ying.

The boys tie the cloths into the middle of nets, and Jiang Wanyin casts his overboard.

Jiang Yanli makes a talisman and slaps it on the back of her and Jiang Wanyin's boat. Wei Ying makes one for his and Lan Wangji's. Both sets of oars are resting on the boats' floors, but the boats nonetheless stop drifting and move steadily and purposefully, separating a little and then starting to snake their way through the water. The Jiang siblings' boat also pulls a distance ahead.

Their purpose quickly becomes clear.

> I was aiming here for a clear sense that: they did not need to make a new plan here, or anything, they know exactly what they're doing and how, and it partly includes using lure flags that the rest of the cultivation world does not currently know are even a theoretical possibility.

The boats' path covers a significant area of the water. Lan Wangji sees swirls in the water as something moves rapidly, arrowing towards the lead boat. Jiang Wanyin's arms move as something seems to impact the net he's holding. The rope grows taut.

Jiang Wanyin braces, waiting, holding as the rope gains tension until his arms are straining.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says quietly. "Help me with the rope. You're stronger than I am."

Lan Wangji nods and takes the rope, bracing himself firmly as Wei Ying casts the net overboard. He hears Jiang Wanyin grunt as he starts pulling the other net onto the boat.

The rope Lan Wangji is holding tugs hard and grows heavier.

He can hear the sound of Jiang Yanli's sword, see the flash of her sword glare reflecting on the water as she dispatches what Jiang Wanyin has hauled from the water.

The drag on the rope is becoming enormous, but Lan Wangji sets himself firmly and holds steady. He knows as a matter not of pride but of fact that he is, indeed, very strong.

He's facing the rear of the boat now, so he cannot see the Jiang siblings, but he hears a splash and a call of, "A-Xian! Go!"

"Pull!" Wei Ying says, and Lan Wangji does.

Wei Ying draws his sword and stands ready. Lan Wangji glances to see the name embossed below the guard and feels his brow furrow.

 _Suibian?_ How strange. It does not seem like an appropriate name for a sword.

The net drags heavily through the water. Lan Wangji pulls steadily, hand over hand. It comes free of the water and tips over into the boat, water slopping in with it.

There are more water ghouls than Caiyi Town should have seen in years - the people there are skilled with boats and swimming.

Wei Ying attacks, blade dancing, killing the ghouls neatly without damaging the net, then kicks the remains back over the side. He checks the net, briskly but carefully, and throws it back into the water, then waves back to the other boat. Lan Wangji can hear the rope creak and splashing sounds as Jiang Wanyin hauls the other net in again.

The boat is still gliding swiftly. Lan Wangji understands the strategy, now - the nets are somehow attracting the water ghouls (something to do with the painted cloth pieces, he presumes), and the snaking path they take results in a wide sweep through quite a large area of the lake. The boats take turns with their nets, avoiding interruption.

It is admirably efficient.

They take a wide, sweeping curve that curls gently into the middle of the lake. Lan Wangji is puzzled at the number of water ghouls they collect - he and Wei Ying dispatch dozens around the edges of the lake, and he suspects that the Jiang siblings' number is comparable.

The ghouls' numbers finally seem to be exhausted as they approach the middle of the lake, to Lan Wangji's relief. He is aching from exertion; he cannot remember working as hard before.

Wei Ying offered to trade places and take the rope, but Lan Wangji declined. He has no practice fighting through a net like this, and fears damaging the net and ruining the execution of this strategy. He also has observed that Jiang Wanyin has held the other boat's net without interruption.

 _Have a strong will and anything can be achieved_ , he recites silently. He wonders if it is improper to be unwilling to give the appearance of being weaker than Jiang Wanyin (especially in front of Wei Ying), but reminds himself that the instructions inscribed on the mountain also say to be mighty.

> "Do the rules specifically say I can't show off for my boyfriend?"

He holds the rope.

\---

"I think that's all of them!" Wei Ying says cheerfully, when they go some distance without anything filling the net. He pulls the rope back into the boat and tugs the now-filthy piece of cloth free. "Ugh, terrible," Wei Ying says, and holds the cloth away from him. The cloth gives off a mighty puff of steam, and then bursts into flame, burning rapidly to ash that floats away on the wind.

Lan Wangji looks at the other boat, and sees Jiang Yanli doing the same thing. She sees him looking and smiles warmly, then turns her attention to Jiang Wanyin, who has slumped to sit on one of the boat's low benches. He looks, Lan Wangji is shamefully gratified to note, as exhausted as Lan Wangji feels.

It is forbidden to look down upon others in victory, or to envy in defeat. It is probably acceptable to be gratified that one has neither won nor lost, Lan Wangji decides. Perhaps it would also be acceptable for him to sit down.

> Aww.

"You did great, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying says, and hugs him. "Especially for your first time. Lan Zhan, so strong!"

 _Or this_ , Lan Wangji thinks, leaning tiredly into Wei Ying. _This is good too._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: At time of posting this, chapter 3 hasn't been posted.
> 
> The commentary on that one contains *massive* spoilers for some events that haven't yet been posted in the main fic, so won't be posted until those have actually happened.

Xichen returns from the Nie Sect Discussion Conference expecting the dormitories of the guest disciples to be in chaos.

They are, to his surprise, no worse than they had been when he left. He is more surprised yet that, even though it is only mid-morning and there are no scheduled classes, not one of the guest disciples is in the vicinity; not one can even be found still lounging in bed.

Curious, he goes looking for them.

> He pretty much had assumed that he'd get back to find them all sleeping off their hangovers.

He finds them at the training field where sword practice is held. He would have been impressed by their diligence, but they aren't training with swords - in fact, most of their swords are laid out in neat rows at one edge of the area.

Xichen watches, trying to understand what he is seeing.

He recognises Wei Wuxian of the Jiang Sect, of course, but is unsure why he seems to be taking the role of the instructor. Wangji is the Lan Sect's best junior disciple - surely, even if the juniors have decided to be this assiduous in their studies (unexpected, but commendable), Wei Wuxian should not be conducting any lessons?

> You'd think.
> 
> But Wei Wuxian was bored pretty much immediately, and he _knows_ the kind of future these kids are facing, and he wanted them to be prepared for it.

Wangji is present. He is watching Wei Wuxian - Xichen notes with approval that he seems properly attentive, instead of just continuing his lovestruck mooning over the boy.

Clearly still besotted, of course, but paying attention.

> Lan Xichen is good at reading his brother, but not perfect, because Wangji is paying attention, but _mostly_ to how hot Wei Wuxian is when he's teaching and how much he can't wait to make out with him later.

Jin Zixuan - he and the other Jin disciples are the only ones still holding their swords - is glaring at Wei Wuxian.

"- not trying to dishonour your Jin Sect principles either!" Wei Wuxian is saying, in tones of exasperation. His eyes narrow. "I wouldn't have thought that the cultivation of the Jin Sect would be weak enough that the Jin Sect heir would be afraid of such a simple exercise." He shakes his head in mock-dismay. "I imagine some people would be very disappointed if they heard."

> Wei Wuxian absolutely knows that Jin Zixuan is rather shy and does not care, and also will pitch his taunting very precisely to the level where he's sure Zixuan will get it because ugh, that guy

Jin Zixuan's eyes widen. It's somewhere between a taunt and a threat, and Xichen is sure this kind of blackmail is against at least some of the rules, but Jin Zixuan stalks to the side of the field and places his sword carefully on the ground, and the other Jin disciples can only follow.

"Okay!" Wei Wuxian exclaims brightly. "In this scenario, you have all had your swords taken away, even though you definitely tried very hard not to let that happen," he continues, with a glance at the Jin disciples. "It is very useful to know how to cultivate without them, because someone very probably loves you, even if you don't deserve it because you don't ever talk to them honestly like a real person, and it would be very bad if something happened to you. In theory."

> This line amuses me.

Xichen covers his mouth. If one of the disciples should see him here, he should not be too visibly amused by the way Jin Zixuan is turning red.

> The Twin Jades are waaaay too concerned about what people will think of them, pretty much _all the time_. Lan Qiren tried but he has serious deficiencies as a parent.

"No matter how many talismans you practice, you all keep relying on your swords to fight. So no swords at all today," Wei Wuxian declares. "Lan Zhan, bring out the demon!"

Xichen's amusement disappears as Wangji steps out of sight into a nearby hall. Surely these children cannot -

Wangji brings out the head of a paper dragon. The dragon head has been damaged, at some point in the past, and it looks strangely cross-eyed. Several dozen quite complicated talismans are stuck to it. Wangji helps Wei Wuxian put it on.

It looks _ridiculous._

"It is a terrifying, evil creature, and has killed thousands of people before you!" Wei Wuxian says dramatically, voice slightly muffled. "Defend yourselves!"

And then... suddenly, the dragon takes on a menacing air. It moves back and forward, erratically hostile. Purple flame jets from its nostrils. When the flames touch one of the disciples, they stick, burning on the disciple's clothing - but, Lan Xichen realises, not doing any actual damage.

When the dragon head collides with a disciple, one of the talismans comes off it and attaches to them as well, and the disciples fall to the ground and stay there, looking disgruntled.

After a couple of minutes, the disciples still standing start to regroup. Some of them dodge with varying degrees of success. Some of them produce talismans of their own that block the flames, dispel them from their friends, and seem to cause the dragon head's attacks slip past without the disciple attracting one of the dragon head talismans.

> The disciples have quite a lot of numbers. One of the distinctions of book vs tv is that the book just has vastly higher numbers of people involved in everything. Like, the Qishan indoctrination summons is _twenty disciples per sect_.

Jiang Wanyin stays on the sidelines, calling instructions to the disciples still standing, and criticism to the fallen. Wangji is near him, watching silently with a faint smile.

> "Wei Ying is so amazing." It's a good thing eventually they get to spend enough time together that Lan Zhan can get past the _teenage crush obsession_ stage enough to, like... notice other things. Ever.

The disciples' numbers are still experiencing a steady attrition. A small group have started to counter-attack, throwing talismans that start to knock the talismans away from the dragon head. In the end, only a handful of them are left, but the dragon head staggers back and begins some rather ludicrously dramatic death throes.

"I die!" Wei Wuxian calls, and Wangji helps him take the head off. "Good job! Well. Mostly." He grins. "Let's go to the classroom and discuss it." He waves a hand, and the talismans that had stuck to the fallen disciples come loose.

Wangji takes the dragon head away. The disciples make a quick sweep of the field, gathering the fallen pieces of paper, collect their swords, and follow _Wei Wuxian_ into the classroom.

Xichen is bemused.

What has been happening?

> Shenanigans, Zewu-Jun. Just like always.

\---

He watches the classroom discussion from the back of the room. Wei Wuxian takes the desk of the teacher. His way of teaching is very different from anything Xichen has seen before - he doesn't instruct so much as tease, hinting and leading until the disciples find the answers on their own.

> Wei Wuxian is one of those teachers who wants students to experience the joy of discovery and feel a sense of accomplishment in what they learn.
> 
> Lan Qiren is the _just tell them the answers and they should memorise them_ sort, which is a teaching style that works for some people.

Jiang Wanyin contributes extensively; when Wei Wuxian is watching the students argue amongst themselves, Jiang Wanyin cuts off any discussion that is going too far in the wrong direction. He and Wei Wuxian both intervene to correct mistakes of fact that will derail the other students' analysis, and between them they monitor the whole discussion very well.

> Jiang Cheng is less comfortable with teaching - certainly at this point - but he's quite good at telling people to stop being stupid.

Wei Wuxian sees Xichen almost as soon as he arrives, but merely flashes Lan Xichen a bright smile and returns his attention to the disciples. The debate is intense; hastily scribbled talismans fly back and forth across the room, causing lights to flash and winds to swirl around the room.

Uncle would never tolerate such chaos.

> accurate

But even when the bell tolls for the midday meal, the students leave the classroom still intently discussing methods for the suppression of spirits, ways to enhance cultivation with the sword by augmentation with talismans.

Wei Wuxian's method is clearly quite inspiring. Some of them don't even notice Xichen standing to the side of the doorway.

He hears Nie Huaisang complaining, "Wei-xiong is so strict. He will make me study my talismans all night. He says talismans will be effective even with a golden core as weak as mine, so no allowances will be made at all!"

"That's right, Nie-xiong!" Wei Wuxian calls back. "There will be a test every day for you!"

Nie Huaisang's eyes widen and he snaps his ever-present fan open as he hastens his way out.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin are laughing. Wangji is gazing at Wei Wuxian with the softest expression Xichen has seen on his little brother since Mother died, and because of that Xichen can't stop smiling.

> I think the reason Lan Xichen was such a solid wingman in canon is this. That his lil bro was showing actual human emotions, and that made him really happy.

"Wei Wuxian. Jiang Wanyin. Wangji." He steps into the room and bows. The guests return his bow; Wangji nods to him, very slightly, and then his gaze swings back to Wei Wuxian like a compass returning to the north.

> Did I research the history of compasses, even though Evil Compasses are canon? SURE DID

"Zewu-Jun," Jiang Wanyin says, "I hope the Discussion Conference went well."

"It did," Xichen says. "Your father sends his greetings. He was pleased to learn that you and Wei Wuxian have distinguished yourselves among your peers. He asked that I assure you that all is well at Lotus Cove. He says your mother misses you very much."

It is lost on no-one, except perhaps Wangji, that there is no possibility that the remarkable Madam Yu said such a thing; it is, however, possible that it is true. Jiang Wanyin flushes slightly, looking pleased.

> Lan Wangji: not alive to the subtleties of interpersonal communications, especially when they involve people he doesn't even know

"Zewu-Jun is too kind," he says, bowing again.

"It seems that it is the disciples of the Jiang Sect who are too kind," Xichen replies. "After hunting on our behalf, you also take on the teaching responsibilities of the Lan Sect. We appreciate your generosity with your time and energies." Xichen notes that Jiang Wanyin looks suddenly very worried, perhaps concerned that he and his brother have overstepped; Wangji is glaring at Xichen now, and Wei Wuxian looks, if anything, terribly amused. "If I may trespass further, I would request that you join me in my office after your meal to discuss your hunt in Caiyi Town."

"Of course," Wei Wuxian says, bowing. "Now is the time to meet with Zewu-Jun. Naturally, shijie will accompany us, as she hunted with us in Caiyi. I will tell her." He tosses a message butterfly into the air that darts past Xichen's head and away. He seems oddly pleased. Perhaps he misses his shijie; male and female disciples mingle rarely in the Cloud Recesses, and it is said that the flowers of Lotus Pier are very close.

> My beta thought "now is the time to meet with Zewu-Jun" sounded odd, and: yeah, it is. Wei Wuxian is all pleased that they've got a nice, handy excuse for a private meeting featuring the Jiangs and the Twin Jades of Lan that no-one will be suspicious about.

"Wei Ying," Wangji says. "Meals must be eaten at the proper time." He hesitates. "Wei Ying worked hard. Eat now."

"I shall see you shortly," Xichen says, and bows.

He hears Jiang Wanyin say, "You know, Lan-er-xiong, if you let taking care of this idiot become your problem, my mother will never want you to leave Lotus Cove."

"Mn," says Wangji. He sounds... pleased.

\---

The three Jiang Sect disciples, with Wangji, present themselves promptly at his office.

The meeting is strange from the very beginning.

As soon as their greetings are complete and the doors close behind them, Wei Wuxian turns to Jiang-guniang. "Shijie?"

She nods, and pulls talismans from her sleeve. She places one on the doors and one on each wall, and then returns to the other disciples. "I was already prepared, A-Xian," she says, smiling.

"Thank you, shijie," Wei Wuxian says. His look towards her is sweetly adoring, and then he turns back to Xichen. "Shijie's wards are without equal. This is a silencing charm. No-one will be able to eavesdrop on our discussion."

Xichen blinks. "Is that really necessary?" he asks. He notices that Jiang Wanyin also seems confused. Wangji, unsurprisingly, is unruffled. It would take something truly unorthodox, Xichen suspects, for Wangji to disapprove of anything Wei Wuxian did.

> I mean, ironic in context, since the first time around Wangji disapproved of _everything_ Wei Wuxian did, but also in the greater context, in which Lan Xichen made excuses for so much shady shit Jin Guangyao got up to for so long.

"It is necessary," Wei Wuxian says firmly.

"To discuss water ghouls?"

Wei Wuxian smiles wryly. "We will return to the subject of water ghouls. There is something else I must tell you, and Jiang Cheng, and Lan Zhan." He takes a deep breath, and then... is silent.

Wei Wuxian, lost for words, is a slightly worrying sight.

Jiang-guniang puts her hand on Wei Wuxian's shoulder. "It's all right, A-Xian," she says softly. "You said we could trust him."

"We can trust him," Wei Wuxian replies in a low voice. "But I need _them_ to trust _me._ "

"What are you talking about?" Jiang Wanyin bursts out. "I always trust you. I trust you to embarrass me every time!" He finishes in a mumble, "But also I trust you, you know. In general."

"Wei Ying can be trusted," Wangji says seriously, and then stares at Xichen.

"I am sure Wei Wuxian is very trustworthy," Xichen says. "What is this about?"

> Xichen: I am not in the mood to argue with my brother about Wei Wuxian's trustworthiness, because my brother is a stubborn bitch

Wei Wuxian bows his head for a moment, then looks up and squares his shoulders. The serious expression doesn't quite suit him.

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened."

> So proud of this line. Despite the fact that it caused me to shift mental gears and proceed to have Lan Wangji be called _Lan Zhan_ in the following lines, in which he should have been Wangji, because this is Xichen's point of view, and then I'd used it for the _summary_ and - yeah, this bugs me, still haven't actually completely decided if I'm going to change it.

Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing. Only Lan Zhan or Uncle _could_ know that, and Uncle would never tell anyone, and even if Uncle would tell someone, that person would not be Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan is clearly in love with Wei Wuxian so in theory he could have said something, but Lan Zhan is giving _Xichen_ a look of utter betrayal.

"You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?"

Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now."

\---

Wei Wuxian explains that he is from the future. A terrible future, so terrible he spent years researching a way to try and fix the past, until finally he found a way to send a soul, with its memories, back to the beginning of its life.

> Wei Wuxian leaves out really a fucking lot

"It was dangerous," he admits. He'd pulled away from the others as he explained, and now sits hunched in on himself, eyes on the floor. "Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng were furious. They were trying to stop me when I did it. But I had to try, because -" He stops.

"I was dead," Jiang-guniang says calmly. "I died a few years from now. A-Xian blamed himself. A-Xian believes that A-Cheng also blamed him, and that A-Cheng hated him. My husband was also dead, and A-Cheng raised my son, who was greatly hurt by our absence."

> Jiang Yanli knows this is not the whole story, but she also knows that this is the explanation that will be tolerable to Jiang Cheng.

"Wei Ying," Wangji says, voice aching.

"Lan Zhan grieved, very much," Wei Wuxian says sadly. "I wanted to save people, I wanted to do the right thing, but in the end, I only saved one child. And... sort of another person? He was still dead, but he was up and about."

"Is this a joke?" Jiang Wanyin hisses. "Who hates you? Who blames you? You would never let A-Jie get hurt if you could stop it. You'd never -"

"I left you," Wei Wuxian cuts him off. "I promised I'd always be by your side, and then I left you anyway. You were alone, with just the baby."

That throws a bucket of cold water on Jiang Wanyin's outrage. "Where were Mother and Father?" he asks hesitantly.

> That _I left you_ is kinda gonna haunt Jiang Cheng, I think.

Wei Wuxian looks at the floor. He looks like he wants to cry. Wangji takes his hand and holds it tightly.

Xichen realises he is starting to believe this impossible story, because Wei Wuxian's pain seems still to be so very real.

"The Wen sect attacked Lotus Pier about two years from now," Jiang-guniang answers. "Mother and Father died to save us."

"You knew _all_ of this?" Jiang Wanyin demands. "Who else have you told before me?"

> Issues about being left out on display there, a bit.

"Only shijie," Wei Wuxian says quietly. "I didn't want anyone else to know before you. But there are things I have to tell Zewu-Jun."

"I forced him to tell me," Jiang-guniang says serenely. "A-Xian had nightmares."

"You can never say no to A-Jie," Jiang Wanyin says, and shoves at Wei Wuxian's shoulder. "You're so damn weak. Idiot." He then wraps an arm around Wei Wuxian's shoulder and squeezes, just for a moment.

Wei Wuxian looks heartbreakingly relieved.

"Lan Zhan..." He sighs. "Lan Zhan was in love with me. I didn't realise it. I hurt him a lot, by accident. Later I found out that for him, it started when I studied here. This time I - I understood better, and I didn't want him to suffer, so I maybe..." He looks at Wangji. "I should have told you all this before. This wasn't fair. But I just missed you so much, Lan Zhan, it had been sixteen years, it was wrong, but..."

"Not wrong," Wangji interrupts. "Grateful." He lifts their joined hands and kisses Wei Wuxian's knuckles gently. Xichen looks away. Jiang Wanyin meets his gaze, and they share a moment, Lan Xichen feels, of true understanding. "How long? Before."

> They both find this awkward and uncomfortable on multiple levels, and one of them is that both of them feel like someone is stealing their brothers.

"We... became cultivation partners about twenty years from now, also," Wei Wuxian says.

"What?" Jiang Wanyin's head snaps back around. "The two of you were obvious from the first day. It was disgusting. It took you twenty years to figure this out last time?"

> On the one hand, Wei Wuxian was not deliberately setting out to court Lan Zhan seriously from the instant they arrived in the Cloud Recesses, last time.
> 
> On the other hand, yup, they were exactly this obvious.

"I was dead for thirteen years of that!" Wei Wuxian protests. Jiang Wanyin pales. Wangji looks like he might faint.

"Don't," Wangji says, in a choked voice, and Wei Wuxian turns back to him immediately.

"I won't, Lan Zhan, I promise. I'm going to try really, really hard to make sure none of that ever happens," he says intently. "And part of that, well." He looks at Lan Xichen. "That's where Zewu-Jun comes in."

\---

Xichen is not at all certain he wants to use _Book of the Mind_ with Wei Wuxian.

> I explained this as a note on the original chapter, but: in the original book, _Empathy_ is described as one of _many_ techniques for reading memories, just the one Wei Wuxian is best at, but one which is dangerous because it involves inviting a ghost to possess you.
> 
> To me, that's not a thing that can work on the living, but other techniques will exist, and some might, but generally speaking it's probably unlikely that most of them will work on someone who's alive and resisting.

But he doesn't have a good reason not to.

It's unusual enough to use a technique developed for reading the memory of ghosts on a living person, but it will work with the person's consent. He's surprised Wei Wuxian knew that.

He and Wei Wuxian are seated across from each other. Jiang-guniang kneels beside them, watching alertly. Xichen's expression must give something away when he looks at her.

"A-Xian has said that you can be trusted," she says. Her smile does not quite have its usual warmth. "However, this process is still quite dangerous." She pulls out her Jiang silver bell. "If it seems that he is in danger, I will end it. Or, of course, if Zewu-Jun is in danger," she adds, and she means it, he can tell, he's not an _afterthought,_ as such, but he is under no illusions about her priorities.

"Has he - have you seen his memories?" Xichen asks.

Jiang-guniang shakes her head. "No. A-Xian has told me the things I need to know, and I believe him. But there is a great deal to tell Zewu-Jun in quite a small amount of time, and there can be permitted no risk that you do not believe what A-Xian tells you."

Xichen nods slowly.

They begin.


	5. Chapter 5

_He sees scattered impressions of Wei Wuxian's youth - an unpleasant town, vicious dogs, Lotus Pier, Jiang Fengmian, children who might be Jiang Wanyin and Jiang-guniang. He sees the Cloud Recesses, sees Wangji, sees his brother frustrated and uncertain and conflicted as Wei Wuxian teases and flirts and pulls away, over and over again._

\---

_Someone is telling Wei Wuxian that Wen Xu has burned the Cloud Recesses. Wen Chao is taunting swordless disciples and driving them into a cave._

_\---_

_Su She offers a girl's life to appease Wen Chao._

> Su She's crimes were different in the book, and arguably worse.
> 
> Su She remains in contention for Character I Hate Most. You can kinda tell by what happens to him in this fic.

_\---_

_Wangji is wounded, bloodied and pale even for Wangji. Wei Wuxian is tending him. Wangji is telling him that the Lan Sect will not come to help them, because the Cloud Recesses has already burned._

_Wangji is crying._

> It's barely even started and I suspect that that, already, is _extremely traumatic_ for Xichen.

\---

_Wei Wuxian and Wangji are fighting the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Xichen wishes desperately for them to stay hidden, to wait for rescue, but he has no power to affect this._

_He watches Wei Wuxian grasp a sword that screams with the agony of thousands._

_\---_

_Wei Wuxian is looking at the bloody corpses of the Jiang Sect, as Wen Chao gloats._

> So's that. Because it's horrific, there are dead _children_ , and this Xichen so far has lived an extremely sheltered life. He has not been to war. This is probably the point where he started screaming for real.

_\---_

_Wei Wuxian is looking for Jiang Wanyin._

_\---_

_Wei Wuxian is in agony as his golden core is slowly, carefully peeled away, as the power ebbs -_

Xichen hears Wei Wuxian's voice. "Let's skip that part. It's quite unpleasant."

\---

_Countless Wen die screaming. Wen Chao dies slowly, dies horrifically, and Lan Xichen remembers Wangji, bloody and crying, remembers the corpses of children in Lotus Pier, and is ashamed to think: good._

\---

_He sees the Sunshot Campaign. He sees Meng Yao kill Wen Ruohan._

_\---_

_He sees Wangji arguing with Wei Wuxian, over and over again, about demonic cultivation. He feels the ache in Wei Wuxian's bones, feels the burning in his temper, and thinks: stop._

_\---_

_He sees Wangji ask Wei Wuxian to come to Gusu, over and over again, and thinks: oh._

> Oh.

_\---_

_Wei Wuxian is alone, fighting to stop an atrocity. Wei Wuxian confronts Jin Zixun in a room full of people. Lan Xichen is among them, and does nothing._

_\---_

_He sees Wangji, expression soft as a small child plays beside him._

_\---_

_He sees the Yiling Burial Mounds in bloom._

_\---_

_He sees the death of Jin Zixuan._

_\---_

_He sees Wei Wuxian under siege, he sees_ _the death of Jiang Yanli, he sees_ -

Wei Wuxian's voice again. "My memory for this part isn't very good. But you'll tell me about it later."

\---

_Wei Wuxian comes alive in Mo Manor. Xichen sees a dismembered arm, sees Lan disciples in danger - juniors, he realises, not even born yet._

_\---_

_He sees Wangji playing_ Rest _, sees him travel with Wei Wuxian collecting pieces of a dismembered corpse._

 _He sees Wei Wuxian using_ Empathy _in Yi City. The experience is quite surreal._

_He sees Jiang Wanyin filled with rage and pain._

_He sees Jinlintai._

_\---_

_He sees_ Empathy _again. He watches himself through Nie Mingjue's eyes, watches the Sunshot Campaign happen again, sees the treachery of Meng Yao, sees himself defending Meng Yao. Sees Meng Yao become Jin Guangyao, sees Jin Guangyao play_ Cleansing _for Nie Mingjue_ , _puzzles at the wrong notes when he watched himself teach Jin Guangyao to play correctly._

_He sees Nie Mingjue die._

_\---_

_He sees himself telling Wei Wuxian and Wangji that he trusts Jin Guangyao._

_\---_

_He sees Wangji and Wei Wuxian rescuing children from a trap. He sees Su She's treachery._

_\---_

_He sees himself, again, telling Wei Wuxian how Wangji almost destroyed himself for love of Wei Wuxian._

_He sees confessions of love, and thinks: finally._

_He sees complex plans laid bare, betrayals confessed._

_He sees Jin Guangyao threaten Wei Wuxian, threaten Wangji, threaten the son of Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. He sees Su She, again, and realises this hot, acid feeling must be hatred, because time and again, Su She has used the teachings of the Lan Sect to do evil things; Su She has used the teachings of the Lan Sect to hurt Wangji, has hated Wangji simply for being Wangji. Xichen thinks: how dare he._

_He sees the death of Jin Guangyao._

_He sees himself, again. He looks like a broken man._

> I think Xichen was truly, _truly_ broken by the end of canon. Even if he comes out of seclusion - which he might not, his father didn't, and his father had less reason for his hissy fit than XIchen has for his actual breakdown - he'll be a shadow of his former self.
> 
> As becomes clear later, seeing the compressed _external_ version, without actually living through his own experiences, is still pretty fucking traumatic, but in _this_ timeline, people _get comfort for their emotional trauma_.
> 
> In Xichen's case: eventually.

\---

Xichen blinks slowly.

Soft guqin music is playing. For an instant he is afraid that this will be the music of the _Book of Turmoil_ again, but no, he knows this piece, can feel the soothing, restoring energy of it, and he looks up and sees that it is Wangji playing.

> He has some occasional moments of unreality for a while.

He feels, just for a moment, as if he is the one who has fallen through time. Wangji looks so _young._ But this, he remembers, is correct. Wangji is sixteen. Wangji has never seen the Cloud Recesses burning, has never been to war. Wangji is in love, and Wei Wuxian has never turned away from him, has not died and left him to grieve.

> Wangji, in this timeline, still has a rough time here and there, but he pretty much remains _much less broken_ than the canon version. (Everyone's less broken than the canon version.)

"What," Xichen begins, and coughs. His voice is hoarse and his throat is sore. Shij- Jiang-guniang presses tea into his hand, and he sips it gratefully.

> reality slipping so hard the first few minutes

"Drink it all," she says gently, and pours another for Wei Wuxian. Xichen looks at her for a long moment, trying to sort out his memories. He remembers thinking that she was a pleasant enough young woman in appearance, not particularly outstanding, but somehow he's not sure why; he has seen her through Wei Wuxian's eyes, now, and all he can see is a beauty that outshines every other woman in the world.

> It is very important to understand that Jiang Yanli is not, naturally, an outstanding beauty, but she is _the most beautiful_ to the people who love her because of _who she is_.

"You were screaming," Jiang Wanyin says, a strange note to his voice. "A-Jie nearly brought you both out of it many times."

> Jiang Cheng is extremely freaked the fuck out about _what the hell did Xichen see_.

"I am very sorry," Wei Wuxian murmurs. "I tried to skip the worst parts."

The awful thing is, Xichen believes him.

\---

Wei Wuxian gazes into his teacup.

"You have to understand, Zewu-Jun, that he is very, very clever. All the whole cultivation world was deceived by him." He sighs. "You blamed yourself. I'm not sure you ever forgave yourself at all. You went into seclusion, and you haven't - you hadn't emerged. After years. Lan Zhan missed you so much..."

> There is a tiny part of Wei Wuxian that still feels a little bit like the future he left behind is still waiting for him.

Wei Wuxian looks up. "You had to know, this time. You had to understand. Because I think the Sunshot Campaign still has to happen. I think we might even still need him for it. But afterwards -" He shakes his head. "I still want to save the innocents among the Wen. I think they'll still need saving. But last time I pretty much failed, really. Only one of them lived longer than I did, and if Lan Zhan hadn't -"

> Xichen isn't tracking the conversation very well, at this point.

He swallows.

"There is only moving forward from here, Zewu-Jun," he says. His smile seems forced.

Xichen nods slowly.

"We can prepare for some things. I will conceal the _Book of Turmoil_ better, we can be ready if the Wen attack." He takes a breath. "I am not sure what to do about Su She."

> be really strict with him and his shitty cultivation until he quits the Lan Sect in a tantrum
> 
> very nearly forget he existed, because he's just a minion and so long as you divert the people who actually matter, he'll be completely ineffectual
> 
> just.. find out later he died mysteriously, because you know what, Su She?
> 
> _You are not qualified to appear in this story in any meaningful sense. You are literally not important enough for me to find space for your death in the narrative_.

Wei Wuxian chuckles mirthlessly. "I am not the person to ask," he says. "There's only one reason, at this time, I haven't killed him yet."

Wangji's music stops abruptly. Jiang Wanyin looks appalled. Xichen smiles slightly.

"And what is that reason?"

Wei Wuxian sits up very straight, and puts on a very serious expression. "Killing is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses," he says, "and I'm trying not to get thrown out, this time."

> Hilarious, you little psychopath.

Xichen laughs. He can't help it. He laughs until he's weeping, for the dead who are not yet dead, for Wangji, for Wei Wuxian. For the junior disciples Wei Wuxian remembers, brilliant boys who now might never exist. Xichen knows Wei Wuxian misses them. He will look for Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen, and be afraid of never finding them.

> Timelines are tricky things, after all.
> 
> I genuinely ended up setting up the _single best joke_ in this _entire story_ so accidentally that I didn't even _realise it was there_ until three weeks after I finished the damn thing.
> 
> (I'll explain it later.)

Xichen knows, because so will he.

Wei Wuxian stands and comes to kneel next to him, and then, to Xichen's shock, enfolds him in a hug.

> Genuinely not sure Xichen has been hugged by anyone even once since his mother died.

It's a good hug. Wei Wuxian rubs his back and murmurs soothingly into his hair. Xichen imagines Jiang Wanyin must be ready to explode, seeing this.

"It's all right," Wei Wuxian says softly. "It's all right to cry. It's all right to admit that it hurts."

Xichen cries until he is out of tears, and only then does Wei Wuxian let him go. He returns to Wangji's side. Wangji's expression is complicated.

"Where did you learn -" Xichen begins to ask, but stops. Wei Wuxian is, after all, not entirely the youth he appears; a sixteen-year-old body carries the mind and soul of a much, much older man. (He wonders if he should be objecting to Wangji's relationship, but dismisses the idea; it wouldn't make a difference, anyway, and Wangji was near forty and still pursuing Wei Wuxian in the body of a teenager, with a mind barely older than that, so.)

> Yeeep.
> 
> Could be worse, though.

Wei Wuxian answers him anyway. "Some of it from shijie. A little bit, by getting it wrong." He smiles. "A little bit from Zewu-Jun, who makes everyone feel better, just by existing nearby."

> Zewu-Jun is very helpful and effective for everyone's emotional stability and historically sort of useless outside of that.

His smile wavers as he turns to Wangji.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says softly. "You see now how terrible the story really is. You know I am much, much older than you. You don't have to stay with me. I probably tricked you really, you know. If you've changed your mind, that's... that's okay."

> You absolute dumbass. YOU ALREADY PRETTY MUCH AGREED TO MARRY HIM. YOU KNOW HE TAKES THAT SHIT SERIOUSLY.

He looks at the floor, and Xichen wants to shout at him, but he cannot find the words to say that it's far too late for that.

Wangji's barely audible huff is, for him, a very deep sigh. "Have not changed my mind about Wei Ying," he says firmly. "Still always want Wei Ying."

Xichen looks away as Wangji ducks his head and _he does not want to see what happens next._ Jiang Wanyin is red-faced and looking at the floor. Jiang-guniang meets Xichen's eyes unflinchingly. She has an indulgent smile.

"A-Xian should know better," she says, as if confiding in Xichen, "but sometimes he does not."

She's not wrong. Xichen saw Wangji in Wei Wuxian's memories - it was obvious, even if not, apparently, to Wei Wuxian, that something about Wei Wuxian was always utterly captivating to his brother.

"He never knows better about anything," Jiang Wanyin mutters. "He's an idiot and an asshole and he's my - and I can't believe _your_ brother has such low standards," he says, glaring at Xichen. Xichen supposes that crying like a child probably dispelled quite a lot of the mystique of Zewu-Jun, but he does not regret it.

> Jiang Cheng is trying to be a good polite boy but he is having many feelings right now.

Jiang Wanyin apparently does, because he winces, and hastily rises to apologise for his thoughtless words.

Xichen smiles.

"Jiang Wanyin, I think it likely that there will be a... bond, between our families, for a very long time. There is much for the four of us to do together, openly and in secret, and I have many mistakes to avoid repeating." _And so do you,_ he thinks, _and I know exactly why Wei Wuxian has not told you what they were._ "I hope that we can be unified in purpose."

Jiang Wanyin nods, looking slightly unsure of where this is going.

"I think," Xichen says, "that, if you are willing, I would like you to be my sworn brother."

> grats upgrade
> 
> ps I might have been less mad at you in canon if you hadn't been all WOOO SWORN BROTHERS with literally every major sect leader except Jiang Wanyin, like... you fuckers killed his brother and threw a party, he probably hated you, but you could've asked

Jiang Wanyin is a promising young cultivator with a good heart. Xichen knows now that his judgement is not always good ( _he remembers Nie Mingjue's death, feels guilty, can't decide if he deserves to_ ) but this doesn't just depend on his judgement, this time ( _he remembers the Jiang Cheng Wei Wuxian knew, who looked at Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian with the same fear in his eyes, and Xichen wonders that Wei Wuxian seems to see everything except that people love him_ ).

"That's a really good idea!" Wei Wuxian exclaims. "It won't cause suspicion for the Jiang and Lan Sects to work together a lot if people think the two of you have _bonded_."

"We have bonded," Jiang Wanyin snaps. "We share the bond of having shameless, terrible brothers and having to deal with you. Zewu-Jun and I can be sworn brothers and finally there will be someone who can _share my pain_."

He's right in ways he would probably rather die than admit, Xichen thinks. Wei Wuxian has kept a secret from Jiang Wanyin all their lives. Jiang Wanyin, he imagines, must always have sensed that there was a part of Wei Wuxian that was closed off to him, and now he knows that that part was never kept from someone else.

Xichen looks at Wangji, who sits close to Wei Wuxian and looks at him like he hung the moon, who welcomes Wei Wuxian's touch, who gives Wei Wuxian his tiny smiles and the warmth in him that Lan Xichen thought had died with their mother. Wangji, who will take Jiang Wanyin's brother away from him, and for all that he will still be Jiang Wanyin's brother, it will never again be quite the same.

Yes, Xichen thinks. I share your pain.

> Because... yeah.
> 
> Being a Twin Jade of Lan means nobody treats you like a person _at all_ except your brother.
> 
> And Wei Wuxian is stealing Lan Zhan away.
> 
> Take a moment to think about just how incredibly alone Xichen is going to be for a while, here - Lan Zhan is leaving when the guest disciples do, and he does not return for _five years_. Xichen is alone.
> 
> The only person he has who doesn't treat him with super-formal distance after this is Xue Yang, who's a sweet kid but also _a possible future mass-murderer Xichen's kind of freaked out about_ , but there's a lot of reasons why he ends up loving A-Yang so much, and one of them is that A-Yang was _all he_ _had_.
> 
> Because he loves Lan Qiren, but Lan Qiren isn't quite... that.

\---

Wei Wuxian was having a _moment_ with Lan Zhan, their foreheads touching, and it was very heartwarming and intense and Lan Xichen has _ruined it_ by distracting him, but that's actually a really good idea, and he says so, and Jiang Cheng replies meanly because he is a terrible person.

"Hurtful!" Wei Wuxian exclaims. Shijie giggles, because Wei Wuxian is surrounded by _vipers_ , it is _treachery_ , he is giddy with relief that they've come through this revelation and Jiang Cheng is still scowling at him in the way that means love, for him, the way he realised too late _always_ meant love.

Jiang Cheng has endless resources of contempt for those for whom he does not care. Only love makes Jiang Cheng truly angry.

> I have many, many feelings about the late-canon stuff.
> 
> Hint: all of it is tragic, and everyone is hurting because they can't freaking talk to each other.
> 
> It's genuinely a shame that Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng never got the chance to get past the wall of massive bitterness between them, because they actually had something in common: they both hold the cultivation world in total fucking contempt for what happened to Wei Wuxian.
> 
> I disagree with some people's interpretations of their dynamic - that Lan Wangji was being a terrible bully to poor Jiang Cheng who was all alone with nothing desperately rebuilding his sect. At the point where we see Lan Wangji being deliberately disrespectful to Jiang Cheng, _the Jiang Sect is_ _rebuilt_. Jiang Cheng is walking around with a dozen cultivators ready to obey his every command _even in the TV version_ where the numbers are smaller. Canonically, _absolutely no-one_ dares offend him (except Lan Wangji).
> 
> Meanwhile, Lan Wangji got beaten _almost to death_ by his own sect, and is clearly on the outs with them - _he_ travels either _entirely alone_ or with a gaggle of _children_ following him. He doesn't have qualified adult cultivators, he has _juniors_. The only people who actually seem impressed by him _are juniors_. No-one else listens to him, no-one else gives a shit what he has to say about anything.
> 
> Jiang Cheng is a big boy with a powerful sect behind him and a bodyguard of loyal cultivators and very, very rich.
> 
> Lan Wangji isn't a _bully_ because he _doesn't like him_. Lan Wangji is not required to fawn over Jiang Cheng, or give him any more respect than he gives anyone else - which is, pretty notably, _jack shit_.
> 
> Having, presumably, read through at least _this_ story - possibly not the others, since I'm going to start posting this for real before all of the side-fics and sequels get posted - I'm sure you all can tell that I actually do love Jiang Cheng and I definitely subscribe to interpretations of the canon rumours that don't actually involve him _torturing people to death in Lotus Pier_. This is not an anti-Jiang Cheng rant.
> 
> It's a _loving Jiang Cheng doesn't mean you have to hate Lan Wangji_ rant. And a little bit of a _seriously he is a grown-ass man when Wei Wuxian comes back, with a nice strong sect, he doesn't need to be treated like a delicate princess_.
> 
> Fundamentally? All of these characters have flaws, and you don't have to decide Which One Is Wrong. Sometimes it's everyone, sometimes it's no-one.

\---

It is almost time for the evening meal, and Lan Xichen looks as if he is approaching the point of collapse. (As one of the Twin Jades of Lan, this translates to: Lan Xichen's shoulders have dropped a distance equivalent to the thickness of an infant's finger, and there is an almost undetectable tightness around his eyes; to the average onlooker he would look entirely normal, but Wei Wuxian is an expert.)

> Wei Wuxian has _nearly_ but not quite worked it out, really. He won't get the rest until he sees Xichen have a total emotional breakdown.

He and Jiang Cheng have completed the discussion of their plans, and will go to the temple in the morning.

> why yes I did do research into how "sworn brothers" worked

"All that is left," Zewu-Jun says, "is the original purpose of the meeting. The water ghouls."

"There were a great many of them in the lake," Lan Zhan says. "Far too many, but we found no evidence of a reason."

"Don't think about it too hard," Wei Wuxian interjects. "I know the reason. The water will be safe now."

"What is the reason?" Zewu-Jun asks, sipping his tea.

"There was a waterborne abyss," Wei Wuxian tells him blithely. He wants to see if Zewu-Jun will spit out his tea, and is disappointed that he does not. He pauses in the action of setting down his teacup, almost too briefly to notice, and swallows his tea calmly.

> lil shit

"A waterborne abyss," he repeats.

"Yes. The Wen sect chased it out of their territory into yours."

"What are you talking about?" Jiang Cheng explodes. "There was no sign of a waterborne abyss in that lake!"

"Oh, I know," Wei Wuxian agrees, "but that's because I stole it."

There is a long silence.

"I might need it later," Wei Wuxian explains. He wouldn't steal things without a _reason_.

> LIL SHIT
> 
> THAT'S NOT AN EXPLANATION

Lan Xichen pinches the bridge of his nose.

> He is the tiredest he has ever tireded.

"Wei Wuxian," he says distantly, "it occurs to me we also have not yet discussed the subject of demonic cultivation."

"Eheh." Wei Wuxian scratches his nose. "It's getting late. Maybe we talk about that another time? Being late for dinner would be against the rules."

Lan Xichen sighs, and nods. Wei Wuxian would be pleased at the reprieve, but by the expressions on Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng's faces, the reprieve probably isn't going to last.

> No. It is not.


	6. Chapter 6

> Of the first six chapters I kind of think of as "the boring setup bit", I want you all to know, this is my favourite.

Wei Wuxian would never wonder what he did to deserve bad things happening to him. He knows. He knows what he did and how often. He knows that he invented entirely new categories of it to do.

> Start here at: Wei Wuxian and his mildly levity-inclusive awareness of _exactly_ what kind of person he has, historically, been.

However.

This still seems a _little_ unfair.

Jiang Cheng manifests his concern in the shouts and insults scattered liberally through his questioning.

Lan Zhan manifests his concern through intense wounded stares and insistence.

Wei Wuxian is reasonably familiar with both.

He is _not_ accustomed to dealing with them both _at once_ , and he has access to none of his usual evasion techniques - running away won't work because the two of them have backed him against the wall and are blocking him from leaving, pissing off Jiang Cheng until he stomps off won't work because this Jiang Cheng doesn't hate him yet and also is slightly better-adjusted and usually Wei Wuxian is very proud of that but right now it's _highly inconvenient_ , and driving Lan Zhan away with aggressively inappropriate behaviour won't work because he and Lan Zhan are already at the kissing stage, and also he couldn't bring himself to do it anyway because he knows now it always hurt him.

> Wei Wuxian is allergic to serious conversations involving people being worried about him.
> 
> He has a note from his doctor.
> 
> It reads WEI WUXIAN IS ALLERGIC TO SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS AND IS EXCUSED =) SIGNED DR WU XIANWEI, REAL DOCTOR WHO EXISTS
> 
> It is sad for him that he is now less oblivious to Lan Zhan's pain and that Jiang Cheng is more emotionally resilient.

If a part of him is thinking that it's adorable how Jin Ling clearly got his _I would rather die than admit that I am worried about you but also I am going to ensure your safety if it kills me_ face from Jiang Cheng (the resemblance is _uncanny_ ), well, it would probably be extremely unhelpful on many levels to say so.

> It would but seriously, you dumbfuck, Jiang Cheng looked at you like that before, too

Jiang Cheng is extremely upset that Wei Wuxian has a) been practicing demonic cultivation and b) doing so without him, Jiang Cheng, being informed and c) been doing so in opposition to something as powerful as a waterborne abyss without him, Jiang Cheng, being present.

Were someone taking notes on this discussion, Jiang Cheng would undoubtedly also wish it recorded that he is upset that i) he is afflicted with Wei Wuxian as an ongoing presence in his life, ii) that people will take such an idiot to be his, Jiang Cheng's, shixiong, _which he absolutely is not_ , iii) that they might think that Wei Wuxian is in any way representative of the teachings of the Jiang Sect, iv) that if his mother should learn of this then he, Jiang Cheng, will have to watch her flay Wei Wuxian alive, and v), that such an occurrence will make his sister cry, which will also be Wei Wuxian's fault.

> I debated this section, because as a third person limited point of view for a character who's supposed to be thinking in Chinese, it probably doesn't work for the _thinking in Chinese_ part.
> 
> But I left it in, because this is my sense of humour, and I like having levity to break up the angst.

Lan Zhan is upset that demonic cultivation harms the heart and spirit, and its practitioners are guaranteed to face a terrible end. (At least that is familiar.) Lan Zhan is pressing his face into Wei Wuxian's neck (this simultaneously contributes significantly to Wei Wuxian's inability to run away from this discussion and also to Jiang Cheng's grievances) whispering need and fear into his skin.

> Jiang Cheng is so deeply unhappy about trying to yell at his br- at Wei Wuxian while Lan Wangji is clinging to him in such an unseemly fashion.

Apparently, Wei Wuxian reflects, it wasn't _just_ the years of grief and pining that made Lan Zhan so... intense. Lan Zhan's icy facade hides a maelstrom of feelings, even now.

Knowing what he knows of Lan Zhan's childhood, he isn't at all surprised.

Jiang Cheng doesn't really give him enough time to answer his questions before the next time he shouts at him, so Wei Wuxian pats Lan Zhan's back as comfortingly as he can and waits for Jiang Cheng to run out of energy.

It takes some time. Jiang Cheng probably spent the whole time they were eating their evening meals in Lan Sect-approved silence thinking about things he wanted to yell at Wei Wuxian, and then helped drive Wei Wuxian back to Lan Zhan's quarters with the power of forceful glaring.

> Jiang Cheng's shouting is basically exactly what Lan Zhan's clinging is, though. They're both getting through _I love you and I need you to be okay_ in their own way.

At least Lan Zhan lives alone. Wei Wuxian suspects that after Lan Xichen graduated to his own quarters, it was just... quietly understood that none of the other junior disciples were suitable to share with Lan Wangji.

At least they let him set silencing charms on the walls before the argument started.

Finally he thinks Jiang Cheng has exhausted his feelings enough to hear what Wei Wuxian has to say.

"I know it's dangerous," he says quietly. "And I know I can't control it on my own. I thought I could, before, but... I was wrong." He sighs. "Really wrong. But things are different, now."

"Different how?" Jiang Cheng growls.

"Well, for one thing... I know a lot of the places I went wrong, before. It's not like anyone teaches this kind of cultivation, I had to work a lot of it out for myself. And..." He closes his eyes, because he doesn't want to see either of their faces when he says this. "This time I have a golden core."

"You didn't have a golden core?" Jiang Cheng whispers. "How..."

"There is a man named Wen Zhuliu," Wei Wuxian says quietly. "If either of you ever see him, please, please don't fight him. He is also called the Core Melting Hand, because he has the power to crush a person's golden core, destroying it forever. Their spiritual power will never return."

> Wei Wuxian very carefully leaves extremely inaccurate impressions on both of them.

Jiang Cheng makes a choked sound that may be a sob. Lan Zhan is clutching Wei Wuxian's wrist, almost painfully tight.

"So I didn't have the ability to prevent or heal the damage from resentful energy," Wei Wuxian explains. "This time I still do. I've done a lot of work on this, and I'm very certain it will make a difference. Shijie's wards are also very helpful. And I can cultivate normally, so I won't need to use it as much. When I do, my plan was to ask Lan Zhan to play _Cleansing_ for me, or Zewu-Jun if Lan Zhan wasn't willing."

> The degree to which the spiritual damage can be healed is limited, but non-zero. Like, WWX was fucking ruined by the end of his first life, but showed real improvement in his second. Shijie's wards make more of a difference, because they protect him from taking so much damage in the first place, but there are limits to their efficacy, as we will definitely see later.
> 
> There's no magical solution to the problems of magic, weirdly enough.

"Willing," Lan Zhan says. "Always willing."

"What about me?" Jiang Cheng demands tightly. "Do I just get to watch you risk yourself like this and do nothing to help? You have _him_ now, I'm useless?"

> Oh Jiang Cheng.
> 
> Wei Wuxian tried really, really hard to give him less cause for his deep inadequacy issues, this time around, but there were still limits to what he could accomplish, because - if nothing else - Jiang Fengmian is still a shitty, awful father.
> 
> Seriously, Jiang Cheng could remember every single one of the _less than five_ times his father held him, and each one made him happy for _months_. Jiang Fengmian, you ass.

Wei Wuxian looks at him, sees the fierce expression and the shining eyes, and hears: _it sounds like you don't need me and I need you and I'm scared you're leaving me_ , and his heart aches. "Don't be stupid," he says fondly. "You say it yourself. Shijie is too soft on me. Lan Zhan likes me too much. Only Jiang Cheng will keep me humble. And besides." He looks at the ceiling. This isn't their relationship, never was, either time, but he had decades to realise that that was always part of the problem.

> It is my belief - although Wei Wuxian has _not realised this -_ that future!Jiang Cheng still desperately loved Wei Wuxian and wanted him back in his life, but they have this agonising ongoing miscommunication, where Jiang Cheng thinks Wei Wuxian doesn't care any more, that he has Lan Wangji now and doesn't need Jiang Cheng, and his pride won't let him say anything, while Wei Wuxian thinks Jiang Cheng hates him and wants him gone, and his being all, "it's in the past, we can just let it go," thing? Breaking Jiang Cheng's heart _every fucking day_.
> 
> One of the best, very very best, of the post-canon reconciliation fics I've read is the "[JC and WWX's Get Along Sweater](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1357258)" series by newamsterdam. I cried.

He steels himself.

"I need Jiang Cheng," he says. He looks at the ceiling, because Jiang Cheng won't be able to control his face for this, and he doesn't want to see Lan Zhan's. "I can't promise that I'll always be by your side, that I'll be your subordinate when you become Sect Leader, that we'll be together. I don't know what's going to happen, and I need Lan Zhan, too, for as long as Lan Zhan puts up with me. But Jiang Cheng..."

> Not making promises he knows he can't keep, and it still hurts.

He takes a breath, wipes away the tears that are running down his cheeks. "I keep Jiang Cheng away from this because it's dangerous, and I need Jiang Cheng to be safe. You'll be the next leader of the Jiang Sect. You'll be strong and brilliant and skilled, and I'll be reckless and irresponsible, and I'll leave you to clean up the mess."

"So just like always," Jiang Cheng says, but there's no heat in it.

"As you say." Wei Wuxian risks looking at him, smiles at him, and gets the secretly-pleased grumpy face in return.

> Jiang Cheng doesn't _like_ it, but he can live with that reasoning.

"I'll let you talk to Lan Zhan," Jiang Cheng says, going to the door. "I don't really want to know how you two resolve this."

He starts to open the door, and yelps as a cloud of lights pour in the moment there's any kind of gap. It's a small storm of message butterflies, that split and come charging at both of them.

He hears shijie's voice.

_A-Xian remember to talk to A-Cheng carefully_

_A-Xian A-Cheng loves you very much_

_A-Xian is everything all right_

_A-Xian are you hiding from A-Cheng I haven't heard from either of you_

_A-Xian if you aren't in a warded room I will be very upset_

_A-Xian answer me as soon as you get this_

Jiang-Cheng is wincing as he's bombarded with butterflies of his own, and Wei Wuxian wonders what shijie was telling him. Finally one butterfly hangs in the air between them, and thunders a message to them both.

_IF I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE I WILL AND I WILL BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN BOTH OF YOU_

> Jiang Yanli, gesturing at her brothers: "I run this shit."

Wei Wuxian hurries to send out one of his own. _Everything is all right shijie we talked it's okay I promise_. As it flies out it's racing Jiang Cheng's.

\---

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says.

They're finally alone, and he's fairly sure Lan Zhan has been having an emotional crisis for hours.

"It is forbidden to argue with your family, because it doesn't matter who wins," Lan Zhan recites softly.

"That is a rule Jiang Cheng and I will never be able to obey." Wei Wuxian nudges at Lan Zhan until he looks up, kisses his forehead, his nose, intends only a light kiss to his lips, but finds Lan Zhan follows him as he tries to lean back, kissing him with desperate intensity. It's familiar, sweet and heartbreaking all at once, because he remembers this. This is how Lan Zhan kisses when he can't find the words for the things he needs to say.

> Words are not Lan Zhan's friends.

Wei Wuxian knows this language, even if it's been more than sixteen years since the last time he needed it.

He lets himself be pliant in Lan Zhan's arms, lets Lan Zhan bite _afraid for you_ into his lip, hears _need you to be safe_ in the way Lan Zhan licks into his mouth, _please, please, let me keep you safe_ in the open-mouthed kisses that trail down his jaw, down his neck, and _my Wei Ying, mine_ when Lan Zhan pulls his collar aside and sucks at the bite mark Wei Wuxian very deliberately does not use spiritual energy to heal, the one Lan Zhan keeps coming back to every evening.

On some level, he'd never quite believed that Lan Zhan had really been in love when they were teenagers. He'd expected less intensity, when Lan Zhan hadn't waited the best part of twenty years to have this.

He'd been so very wrong. Lan Zhan presses him against the wall, hands tight on Wei Wuxian's hips, comes back to kiss him with desperate urgency. Lan Zhan gasps as Wei Wuxian wraps his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, makes a sound like he's been punched when Wei Wuxian rocks his hips forward, presses back with no rhythm but a sweet desperation.

Wei Wuxian is going to regret this so very, very much when he's walking back to the dormitory in unpleasantly sticky trousers, he thinks, but thinking about consequences has never been his true nature, and right now he's a teenage boy again, and Lan Zhan is pressing his face into Wei Wuxian's shoulder, chanting his name like a prayer, until he makes a choked-off sound and squeezes his hips hard enough that it's almost, almost painful, and Wei Wuxian wants to keep this moment forever.

> Scandalous.
> 
> They don't talk it out because there's no point, really.
> 
> Lan Zhan needs Wei Ying to be safe, but Wei Ying... won't be. Can't be. Isn't going to change his mind about the course he's on, even though it hurts Lan Zhan, because that isn't who he is, never was, never will be.
> 
> Wei Wuxian is, in his way, the single most rigid character in the entire fic. Far more than any of the Lan, because the thing is?
> 
> The Lan are hypocrites. They talk a good game about righteousness, but they don't live up to it, not really. They stand by and watch the genocide of the Wen and keep a special collection of all the most vile, evil shit they can find, among so many other things.
> 
> Wei Wuxian is _not_ a hypocrite. He never, ever flinches from what he thinks is the _right thing to do_ , no matter the cost to himself or his loved ones, and it's both virtue and flaw.
> 
> He's got a redo of his life, and he's not changing his mind about the goals he had before - he's just seeking better paths to accomplish them.
> 
> And along the way, Lan Zhan's still going to hurt. A lot.

\---

At nine o'clock he's curled up with Lan Zhan in loose-fitting borrowed trousers. He smiles fondly as Lan Zhan drifts off in his arms.

The silencing charms he'd put up were hasty and his aren't as good as shijie's anyway; he knows they've worn off when a glowing butterfly flits in and lands on his arm not long afterwards.

_I helped Nie Huaisang study and made excuses for you not coming back tonight when it started to look like you wouldn't, so if you're not staying with Lan Zhan IN HIS SPARE BED YOU SHAMELESS ASSHOLE then find a fucking tree to sleep under or you'll embarrass me. I'm going to break Lan Zhan's pretty fucking face if he defiles you before marriage, our family has STANDARDS TO MAINTAIN. I hate everything about you._

> That message gives me joy.
> 
> Jiang Cheng is being grumpy and aggressive and threatening, and what he's also doing is telling Wei Wuxian _hey it's okay if you spend the night with Lan Zhan, I already covered for you. In fact, I'm pretty much ordering you to spend the night with Lan Zhan, I know you both probably need it._

\---

Xichen has spent the evening making careful notes. He will probably burn them, when he is done, he cannot risk anyone finding them, but he has twenty years of a future that must not come to pass to understand, all thrown into his memory in the space of an afternoon.

He makes notes of what he knows about the people whose lives would have intersected with his and those of his loved ones. (Who still could, one way or another.)

He reaches one name, and stops.

Counts.

Closes his eyes for one long moment.

Xichen finishes his notes. He reviews them, commits his orderly timeline to memory. He sets the parchment alight and watches every single character burn to ash.

And then he goes to see his uncle.

He does not enjoy disturbing his uncle's seclusion, but the dates available to him are not precise enough to waste time, and there exist problems that have no palatable solutions at all.

Before finding his uncle, his steps take him to the secluded cottage in the forest. He stops at the place where Wangji waited, every month, even when he knew that the doors would not open for him, and wonders if he will be able to dissuade Uncle from his efforts to separate Wangji from Wei Wuxian. It seems likely that Uncle will try, as he so clearly did in Wei Wuxian's memories, and it seems even more unlikely that Uncle will succeed.

Wangji, he knows, does not give up on those he loves.

He wonders, shamefully, if those he loves give up too easily on him.

> Yes. Absolutely.
> 
> That beating-him-nearly-to-death thing you let _your own sect_ do, for example? Not okay, Lan Xichen.

Wangji was always a reserved child, distant with anyone other than their mother. Xichen remembers, barely, a tiny body crawling into his bed at night and shaking against him, remembers sleepily curling around him until he was calm again, but even that stopped after Mother died.

The invisible walls that surrounded Wangji became thicker, taller, seemed utterly impenetrable after that.

Yet somehow, for Wei Wuxian, it was like they never existed at all.

If Xichen had tried as hard - had been the one to reach out, instead of assuming that Wangji would always reach for him, if he was needed - what might have been different?

_There is only moving forward from here._

He moves forward, even if at the present time that means turning around. He goes to and knocks at the door of Uncle's jingshi.

There is no answer, but he did not actually expect one, and there are now concerns more important than his Uncle's distress, so he enters anyway.

His Uncle is meditating. Xichen sits across from him.

"I have returned from the Nie Sect Discussion Conference," he says. "It went well. However, I must now go on another journey, and I am not sure how long it will take."

What he is about to do is slightly cruel, but he remembers the scars of the discipline whip that Xichen _will not_ allow Wangji to carry again, and knows a small, petty part of him is going to enjoy it.

"If you wish to remain in seclusion," Xichen says mildly, "that will not be a difficulty. I will ask Wei Wuxian to continue teaching classes. He has been most accommodating."

> The closest thing Lan Xichen has ever said to "fuck you old man"

Uncle's eyes snap open.

\---

Xichen sets out in the afternoon, after the swearing ceremony with A-Cheng.

He tucks Liebing and Shuoyue in Qiankun Pouches in his sleeves when he leaves Gusu.

> Idle headcanon note:
> 
> As will become clear later in the fic, I think Lan Huan has very similar trauma to Lan Zhan.
> 
> Shuoyue means _new moon_.
> 
> They were allowed to see their mother exactly once a month.
> 
> I do not think this is a coincidence.

To other cultivators, he will still be very obviously a Lan, but then, most cultivators will recognise Zewu-Jun anyway; to outsiders, he may pass as a prosperous gentleman of leisure.

He has to search to find the boy, and hopes that he is in time.

What he's doing might be just as stupid as he would be to trust Meng Yao, even though he has no intention of placing any trust at all, here; but he has to do something, and he cannot countenance killing a child.

If Wei Wuxian had an adult's freedom to roam, Xichen wonders, would the child already have died?

A part of the bright-faced youth is still the Yiling Patriarch, is still capable of merciless pragmatism and patient cruelty. Will do what he believes needs to be done, no matter the cost to himself.

> good boy, Lan Xichen.
> 
> Wei Wuxian can be _horrifically_ cruel, but he never took pleasure in it, even after the Burial Mounds. In some ways, that actually makes him more terrifying.
> 
> He's not a monster who hurts people for pleasure. He doesn't get carried away, he doesn't _fuck around_.
> 
> If Wei Wuxian decides that someone needs to be hurt, he will hurt them with _clinical precision and patient, comprehensive commitment._

Xichen does not want Wangji to see that, does not want Wei Wuxian to have to be that man - he did not get the sense that it was ever who he wanted to be, so much as a necessity he wouldn't flinch from.

If the boy must die - well. Xichen has not made the mistakes that Wei Wuxian remembers, but he would have, and he has made others. If blood on his hands is his penance, he will accept it.

He finds a boy who seems a likely candidate to be the one he seeks. Xichen lingers in the area, watching.

And so it is that he is in a liquor shop when he sees a man call the boy over, and offer him a plate of pastries to deliver a note.

He is on his feet before he thinks about it, Shuoyue in his hand. He does not draw the blade, but knocks the man's hand away with the sheath.

"Chang Cian," Xichen says, voice tight, deliberately rude, "it is beneath you to take such advantage of a child. You should be more careful to set a better example to the world."

> Lan Xichen is barely holding onto murderous rage here and doesn't even know it.
> 
> Because this little incident was the catalyst for _so much_ cruelty and horror, and he has nightmares about Yi City.

The man who must be Chang Cian looks up sharply, goes to reach for his sword, but his eyes widen as he takes in Xichen's robes, his ribbon, and then reads the name of Shuoyue.

"Zewu-Jun," he says, swallowing. "I didn't -"

"If you have messages, carry them yourself, or send your disciples," Xichen cuts him off. "I'm sure that you would not wish to bring dishonour and disrepute to cultivators, or to your clan, if the world heard that you were in the habit of abusing the trust of children."

Xichen keeps his expression mild, but does not look away from Chang Cian's eyes. _I am Zewu-Jun of the Lan Sect of Gusu_ , he thinks. _If it is my word against yours for what you were planning to do, no-one will believe you._

Chang Cian is beginning to sweat. He is, after all, a coward.

"An excellent reminder, Zewu-Jun," he finally says. "I will... go do that."

Xichen allows him to leave, then turns to the boy, who is looking confused, and perhaps like he wants to cry; no doubt he fears that now there will be no pastries for him. His face lights up when Xichen pushes the plate towards him.

"Eat," Xichen says. "What is your name, child?"

The boy beams radiantly at him and picks up a pastry. "This one is called Xue Yang, Master!"

\---

He takes the boy with him. He buys him candy every day, and wonders if this will end in blood.

When he walks into Cloud Recesses with a heavy sack over his shoulder and the smiling child at his side, he points out the rules, carved into the wall. He reads _love all beings_ and _embrace the entirety of the world_ and _perform acts of chivalry_ , and he kneels by the boy who could become a monster, who will be Xichen's first profound labour to change the future.

"First you will learn to read. And then, in time, you must learn all of these rules," he says, seriously. "They are all important. There's a lot of them, I know, but you will be safe, and not go hungry, and if you obey the rules, every day, you will have a reward."

It is not the way of the Lan Sect to reward obedience; obedience should be its own reward. It is not the way of the Lan Sect to encourage food that is not what is necessary to live.

Xichen is a very fair man, and he thinks that there might be a danger in marking this child for special treatment if it fosters resentment amongst the other children.

He draws Shuoyue, and adds a rule.

"What does that say, Master?" Xue Yang asks.

Xichen smiles at him. "Only the obedient may have dessert. Come, A-Yang."

It has been a long journey, and the boy is wide-eyed and excited as Xichen shows him where he'll sleep, where Xichen lives, where Xichen works, the first places he needs to know, and Xichen tucks him into his new bed, in his new home, and tells him to rest, before he goes to the kitchens.

He knows better than to enter; he is the acting Sect Leader of the Lan Clan, but his authority in Cloud Recesses has limits, and one of them is at the doorway to the kitchens. He waits until he is noticed, and the Elder who rules this domain comes to see him.

He bows deeply, smiling. "Young mistress, it brings this one great joy to see look upon a beauty such as yours," he says, and her eyes twinkle.

"I am old, and if I had ever been so unlucky as to be beautiful, I might have had to marry," she says with a sniff. "Flattery will get you nowhere, A-Huan. Are you here to steal apples? Should I be looking for your accomplice?"

"Of course not, nainai. I am here on business as the Sect Leader."

"Hmph. You might be a Sect Leader to people whose apples you never took, but you'll always be A-Huan to me."

"Yes, nainai." He inclines his head, and does not say that he knows, and that his heart would break if he weren't. Nainai has ruled the kitchens of the Cloud Recesses since before Xichen was born; even Uncle calls her nainai. She treats everyone like a child, and it is... comforting.

He never stole her apples. She gave him apples when she found him crying over his mother's death, slipped sweet baked apple treats onto his plate when he did well in class. She was always gentle with him when he needed her kindness, is always sharp with him when he doesn't. He has long suspected that the boundaries of her domain are as well-guarded as they are in part because Nainai does _not_ adhere to the bland diet she dispenses in accordance with custom.

> NAINAI
> 
> Okay, so.
> 
> There's actually some stuff about this character that does _not_ make it into the fic, but you're reading this self-indulgent-as-hell entire-ass repost in which I get to talk about my headcanon and all the things that didn't make the cut, so.
> 
> Nainai is the second instance of a thing, even though she appears first, but this scene was actually written later than the scenes around it.
> 
> And that thing is: "Okay, but... there has to be _more than one_ Immortal, surely?"
> 
> Because it's the goal of every cultivator, supposedly, but we only hear about Baoshan Sanren.
> 
> Once upon a time there was an Immortal, who had reached enlightenment (but later than some, and her great age had begun to show), but she did not withdraw from the world, nor did she take disciples.
> 
> Instead, she took over the kitchens of the Cloud Recesses, and ruled over them more absolutely than any tyrant in history, and she watched over the generations of her clan, and none of them ever really noticed anything more than that they loved her, because she didn't want them to.
> 
> And she was content, because understanding that contentment is a worthy goal, and that a contentment that can last is true happiness?
> 
> Such is wisdom.

"So what do you want, then?" she asks.

"I must ask a change to the meal habits of the Cloud Recesses," he says, hefting the sack he brought back from his travels.

"What's this?" she asks suspiciously. She takes the heavy sack without apparent effort.

"Sugar."

Nainai smiles.


	7. Chapter 7

Wei Wuxian thought avoiding provoking Lan Qiren when he returned to the classroom would be more of a struggle. He still fidgets, because he can't not, and his attention still wanders more than it should, but when Lan Qiren questions him on cultivation, he barely has to think about the answers.

> at this time, he knows more about cultivation than Lan Qiren has ever dreamed so.

The generational changes of important clans in the cultivation world, the division of their areas of power, famous quotes by famous cultivators, family trees... he might have had more trouble with some of that, but he took pity on Nie Huaisang's fear of his brother's fury, and committed it to memory without really even trying in the course of trying to tutor him.

> A headcanon thing:
> 
> Nie Huaisang did some _shady shit,_ but Wei Wuxian still likes him. They were friends then, and they've been friends again this time around, because Nie Huaisang is extremely easy for Wei Wuxian to like, and he's the last person to judge someone for doing shady shit because someone hurt people he loves. He is the _king_ of doing shady shit because someone hurt the people you love.

When the tests are complete, and Nie Huaisang's grade is the coveted, acceptable yi, the other students celebrate their friend's success. Even Jin Zixuan offers a stiff congratulations.

Wei Wuxian is happy, he decides. He knows all too well that they are coming to the end of childhood, that events will become serious, that responsibilities are looming on the horizon.

> Wei Wuxian is the first person in history to actually appreciate childhood while he has it.

But for now, the lessons in the classroom are not too onerous. Sparring and training with the other young disciples is fun. Even Jin Zixuan isn't completely awful. The others have started to accept Lan Zhan's presence at Wei Wuxian's side, remaining themselves instead of becoming stiff and awkward when he is near.

(Lan Zhan is learning to let minor infractions of the rules pass without comment, and stop saying something if, say, another student slouches when they are sitting in a group in the dormitories. He still gets a tiny, adorable furrow in his brow, on occasion, but in fairness, the others have said nothing about how close he sits to Wei Wuxian, or the improper way Wei Wuxian will sometimes lean against Lan Zhan's side.)

> Whole bunch of bros who all know Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are an item and absolutely no-one is saying a fucking word about that.

Best of all, Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng are getting along, an experience that is wholly new to Wei Wuxian.

For, of course, a very "Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng" definition of getting along.

When, one morning, the training master at sword practice assigns Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan to spar together, Jiang Cheng scowls. When, predictably, the match devolves into something much closer to "aggressive flirting", he breaks off from his own sparring partner and stomps over.

Wei Wuxian _may_ have let Lan Zhan get almost, but not quite inside his guard. It's _possible_ they did not immediately then separate but rather stayed almost nose to nose while Wei Wuxian whispered things that made Lan Zhan's ears turn pink.

Jiang Cheng may, it seems, have had enough, judging by the way he shoves them apart.

"Shameless!" he hisses. "How are you both so terrible? What did I do to deserve the two of you?" He glares at Lan Zhan. "I don't expect better of this idiot, but don't you have more self-control than this?"

Lan Zhan seems to consider this question seriously. "No," he finally says.

Jiang Cheng's scowl is approaching epic proportions. "You are the _worst Second Brother ever_."

"Mn," Lan Zhan replies equably.

> I think Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan would always have trouble really enjoying one another's company. Before they have _holding the entirety of the cultivation world in contempt_ in common, the things they have in common begin and end at Wei Wuxian. Who was always Jiang Cheng's, until he became Lan Zhan's, and they'll both be seething with jealousy, and both of them will know they have no real right to be - Jiang Cheng is Wei Wuxian's brother, and has a valid claim, and Lan Zhan is his soulmate, and _so does he_. In this, they have to learn to share him, and they sort of do, and secretly are both twitchy as fuck about it.
> 
> Wei Wuxian isn't consciously thinking about it most of the time at this point, but he _is_ actually trying to balance that with both of them.

\---

Of course, Wei Wuxian was also enjoying this stay at the Cloud Recesses because instead of spending all of what should have been his free time on punishment duty, he was spending quite a lot of it kissing Lan Zhan, and walking with Lan Zhan, and playing music together with Lan Zhan.

They are not, he would be the first to admit, particularly discreet.

"Isn't this against the rules?" Wei Wuxian asks, when Lan Zhan kisses him in the Library Pavilion. They're alone, in the empty, semi-hidden room that once held the forbidden collection. (It's gone now. Wei Wuxian has not asked where, and the room is now in use for quiet study.)

"Can let go of regulations with the one you love and cherish," Lan Zhan murmurs, pulling Wei Wuxian into his lap, and, well... how can Wei Wuxian say no to him after that? The very notion is unrealistic.

> The line about letting go of regulations with the one you love and cherish is, iirc, ripped straight out of the book, and is definitely Lan Zhan's excuse for a _whole lot of rule-breaking_.
> 
> Seriously, the only reason they're not actually having sex is that this Lan Zhan hasn't been through enough trauma to get to the point of _fuck your rules_ , and still thinks marriage matters.

He's not likely to say no to Lan Zhan anyway, of course, but especially when he says things like that.

Apart from the night after Wei Wuxian revealed his secret, Wei Wuxian has returned to his dormitory by curfew every night. He's determined to let Lan Zhan set the pace when it comes to sex, and so far, Lan Zhan doesn't seem really to be thinking about it.

> he is absolutely thinking about it, Wei Wuxian, he is thinking about it _frequently_

Wei Wuxian has been very, very good.

Which is why it feels _extremely_ unfair that when Lan Qiren comes downstairs when he's in Lan Zhan's lap, his robes pulled loose _by Lan Zhan_ , Lan Zhan's hand on his hip, Lan Zhan's mouth on his chest, Lan Qiren furiously accuses _Wei Wuxian_ of being the one who is defiling his nephew's purity.

> Naturally.

Lan Zhan's robes aren't even disordered. (Yet.) (This time.) (But _they're not_.)

Also, there is a rule against shouting in the Cloud Recesses, and Lan Qiren is doing that.

It draws a certain amount of attention.

\---

Wei Wuxian is very proud of himself for keeping his expression largely under control, and not laughing, even a little bit.

Lan Qiren is deeply, utterly offended, and has no qualms about expressing his outrage.

Jiang Cheng, despite being a junior disciple to Wei Wuxian (technically, if you ask Jiang Cheng; irrevocably and utterly, if you ask Wei Wuxian) is the son and heir of the leader of the Jiang Sect, and on behalf of his Sect and Clan he will not stand for such insults when Lan Wangji was clearly an active and willing participant. If Lan Wangji has despoiled Wei Wuxian's honour, the Jiang Sect has equal objections.

Lan Qiren is unconvinced that Wei Wuxian _has_ any honour to despoil, whereas he is very confident that Lan Wangji was a perfect, pure, and noble boy until Wei Wuxian arrived and seduced him with his cutsleeve ways.

Jiang Cheng has lived with Wei Wuxian since they were small children, and Wei Wuxian has never once besmirched the honour of Lotus Pier with such scandalous behaviour, and now Lan Wangji has ruined his shixiong for any chance of a future respectable marriage.

> I love this bit.
> 
> Jiang Cheng is not ceding _any ground at all_. He's very respectful and deferential right up until _nope the honour of my Sect and my Wei Wuxian are at stake and fuck you old man_.

He actually says shixiong, and Wei Wuxian has never loved him as much as he does in this moment.

> jiang Cheng is going _all. out_.

Fortunately, Lan Xichen arrives at this point, and adroitly defuses his uncle and his brothers. Both of his brothers, because Lan Zhan was bristling at the implication that there could be a possibility that Wei Wuxian would marry someone who wasn't Lan Zhan.

> Lan Zhan was approving of Jiang Wanyin's defense of Wei Ying RIGHT up until the point where _excuse you what do you mean respectable marriage am I not respectable because he's not marrying anyone ELSE_.

Wei Wuxian considers that really, he's an innocent bystander at every stage of this, and it's very unfair that Uncle Jiang is being summoned, when you think about it.

\---

It's worse than Uncle Jiang being summoned.

Madam Yu comes with him.

Jiang Cheng laughs at Wei Wuxian, because he is terrible.

He also promises not to let her kill him, because he's also kind of great.

> YUNMENG BROS

\---

Wei Wuxian is waiting outside while Uncle Jiang, Madam Yu, Lan Qiren, and Lan Xichen are talking. Lan Zhan is with him, defiantly and insistently holding his hand. (Lan Zhan is slightly nervous, but absolutely in his most stubborn mood, which, Wei Wuxian knows all too well, is absolutely immovable.)

> ABSOLUTELY IMMOVABLE.
> 
> This theme will recur a little bit, because of the thing where it is dear to my heart that Lan Zhan, at heart, is a massive, massive bitch.

Jiang Cheng and shijie are waiting with them, because (according to Jiang Cheng) Wei Wuxian ruins Jiang Cheng's life along with his own because he is an idiot and a terrible, terrible person who is still definitely not his shixiong, he was _just saying that to win the argument with Lan Qiren_ , or perhaps (according to shijie) because part of the tentative peace agreement Lan Xichen had extracted involved chaperones.

> all a matter of interpretation

The discussion goes on for quite some time, before Zewu-Jun opens the door and calls Lan Zhan inside.

Lan Zhan is only there quite briefly, and then he emerges. (He's smugly satisfied with what happened inside.) Lan Xichen beckons Wei Wuxian inside.

"I'll burn incense for you," Jiang Cheng whispers, and Wei Wuxian does not kick him, because shijie would be disappointed and also Zewu-Jun is watching him.

He enters to find Lan Qiren looking extremely disgruntled (which is uninformative), Uncle Jiang maintaining a neutral expression (which is just as bad), and Madam Yu smiling slightly (which is terrifying).

"We may have achieved a resolution of this... difficulty," Zewu-Jun says.

"A-Ying," Uncle Jiang says, "We have agreed on terms for your betrothal to Lan Wangji."

Madam Yu stands. "Jiang Fengmian, we haven't seen Wei Ying in months. He has time to greet his shimu." She turns to Wei Wuxian with a smile. "You look well, A-Ying. The air in Gusu clearly suits you. Come, sit."

> Madam Yu's motivations here will be addressed in more depth in her side-story, but a non-zero part of this particular moment is driven by "fuck you Lan Qiren".

Wei Wuxian looks surreptitiously at her hands. She is wearing Zidian - that means she can't be possessed, surely?

Surely.

\---

It's not that Wei Wuxian wasn't expecting to be married to Lan Zhan _eventually_ , but it seems a little strange to be already betrothed.

It turns out that Lan Qiren, still deeply perturbed about the whole situation, had taken exactly the wrong approach with Madam Yu, and begun by expressing his utter disappointment in the discipline of the Jiang Sect disciples.

> Because he's not good at people. On arrival she was more ready to be conciliatory on the theme of: "Kids, amirite?" but the theme of "your disciples are undisciplined because clearly you don't teach them well enough?" _time to throw the fuck down_.

As a consequence, it was pretty much war from the outset, because while Madam Yu has never hesitated to take Wei Wuxian to task for his inadequacies, she does not allow the privilege of critiquing the Jiang Sect's disciples to outsiders. To hear her argue with Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian was a perfect disciple who had only ever brought glory and honour to the Jiang Sect.

Jiang Fengmian and Lan Xichen had endeavoured to soothe them both, and the end result was somehow an agreement that the senior disciples of the Jiang and Lan Sects would marry. When combined with the sworn brotherhood of the acting Leader of the Lan Sect, and the heir of Sect Leader Jiang, a strong bond between the two clans had clearly been forged.

Lan Qiren was grudgingly accepting, because Lan Xichen was gently insistent, and at least his nephew's honour would be salvaged.

Madam Yu was very, very pleased. Wei Wuxian is mildly surprised to learn that the secret to his winning Madam Yu's approval turns out to be making an advantageous marriage.

\---

The guest disciples' time at Cloud Recesses is coming to a close, and Wei Wuxian has reached the conclusion that he will have to do something extremely difficult and unpleasant.

Perhaps it is always true that the life of Wei Wuxian must be filled with pain and sacrifice, he thinks.

He's going to have to be polite to Jin Zixuan.

> the sacrifices he makes for a better future

"Jin-xiong," he says with a bow.

"Wei Wuxian." Jin Zixuan looks at him warily. He's not as cold as he was, quite, but they are not, by any stretch of the imagination, _friends_.

"This disciple seeks the honour to offer Jin-xiong a humble warning," Wei Wuxian is carefully formal.

Jin Zixuan is not. "If I make Jiang-guniang cry, you will break every bone in my body. I recall."

"Not that one." Wei Wuxian closes the doors behind him and puts up silencing charms before he continues. "Jin-xiong, if I were to tell you something, and say that you should only share the information with those you trust absolutely, _absolutely_ , those whose honour and integrity is beyond reproach - who would you tell?"

Jin Zixuan narrows his eyes at Wei Wuxian, but seems to think about the question carefully. "MianMian." He hastily adds, clearly realising that he is addressing his betrothed's shidi, "She is my shimei and my friend. We are not - she is not - and I'm only not saying your shijie because I assume that you -"

Wei Wuxian waves that off. "I know, I know. MianMian would never. And I do think better of you than your father, that way. Speaking of - you would not tell your father?"

Jin Zixuan flushes. "No. My father... He should not..." Wei Wuxian has never seen such miserable humiliation on Jin Zixuan's face, not even when he blurted his feelings in front of a large crowd at Phoenix Mountain and ran away, in Wei Wuxian's first life.

"All right. Good." Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath. "Tell no-one, _no-one_ what I am about to tell you unless it is MianMian. Ask her to keep this secret, too, but MianMian is a good person, I believe she can be trusted. Give me your word, please."

Jin Zixuan stares for a long moment. Wei Wuxian looks back very seriously. "Very well. I give you my word. If I should break my promise, my name will no longer be Jin."

He tells him.

"That - such a thing would be outrageous! A violation of all -" Jin Zixuan exclaims.

> The Jin take their swords very seriously, and the idea that the Wen would demand they surrender them is deeply offensive.

"Yes."

"How did you learn of this?"

"I cannot tell you that."

He's not sure, at all, that Jin Zixuan believes him, but he is confident that Jin Zixuan will keep his word.

\---

When they return to Yunmeng, Lan Zhan comes with them. It is, officially, for him to study with the disciples of the Jiang Sect, as the Jiang Sect disciples had studied at Cloud Recesses; it is unofficially because not even Lan Qiren could face his nephew's expression when it was suggested that he and Wei Wuxian would be parted.

> TRAGIC LAN ZHAN TOO TRAGIC

Lan Zhan solemnly pledged to remember his training and the precepts of the Lan Sect, and to behave in accordance with his conscience.

> Which is so not the same thing as pledging to obey the rules and disciplines of the Lan Sect.

As far as Wei Wuxian could tell, Lan Xichen read a lot more into his careful wording than Lan Qiren did, but it was equally possible that Lan Qiren just didn't have the energy. A full year of Wei Wuxian appears to have left Lan Qiren a somewhat broken man.

Learning can be difficult, Wei Wuxian thinks philosophically. He'll be a much stronger person in the end for the benefit of this experience.

> lil shit

He revels in showing Lan Zhan around Lotus Cove, the way it is supposed to be. He enjoys watching Lan Zhan best the other disciples at their training; he finds himself forgetting to hold back, showing off, wanting to impress Lan Zhan, but even Madam Yu (who insists he call her shimu, now, but it's hard, hard to change the pattern of his thoughts) simply says that Lan Wangji is clearly good for him, since he has obviously been working harder than he used to.

Jiang Cheng might have been more bothered about being defeated by Wei Wuxian if he hadn't been distracted by his horror when his mother followed her comments with the suggestion that perhaps Jiang Cheng should give thought to his own marital prospects, as of course he is too young to marry _now_ , but...

"You. You did this to me," he hisses at Wei Wuxian, who has fallen to the ground with laughter. "I hate you _so much_."

\---

Xichen was wary of bringing Xue Yang to the Cloud Recesses. The boy could be dangerous. But he does not think him likely to be _deceptively_ so; Xue Yang is, somehow, an extremely honest person. Xichen speaks with him every night, and asks him to report on his behaviour that day; Xue Yang earnestly recounts even his smallest infractions of the rules, when they have occurred.

> Xue Yang will tell you quite cheerfully about all his mass murder. He's just not deceitful, at all.

(For minor violations, Xue Yang does not get dessert with his meal, but Xichen still gives him candy and discusses the rules with him, for better understanding.)

Xichen is tentatively less fearful for Xue Yang's future. He does not regret his trip to collect the boy.

But now he is arriving in Yunping in search of a youth he knows all too well he _cannot_ trust, one he knows is capable of deceiving him utterly, and he still can't think of an alternative.

> This was actually one of the last scenes I wrote. Velithya was hassling me about needing this scene to actually appear in the fic from the moment she read the scene where he arrives at Jinlintai, but for the longest time there was just a line here that read:
> 
> _**meng yao?** _

Meng Yao will depart for Jinlintai at some point he thinks might be quite soon, and Xichen does not want that to happen. He cannot, will not, murder a boy even younger than Wangji for crimes he _could_ commit.

He knows the address of the... place where Meng Yao lives, now, but he cannot bring himself even to turn down the street. What if he is seen? What if someone recognises that _Zewu-Jun_ is in such an unseemly location?

> He can't even think words like _brothel_ and _prostitute_.

Instead, he loiters around the markets, and worries that he will have to go and wait outside the entrance of Jinlintai, or that he will miss the youth entirely, or -

On the third day, he sees them. A woman, beautiful but dressed... too ostentiously, for the markets in the early afternoon, accompanied by a boy who looks very much like her, but who has a hint of the Jin about him. Something in his cheekbones, the shape of his nose; it is enough.

> Note: Madam Meng was famed in no small part for being just about able to pass as a lady of the gentry; she played the guqin beautifully and had flawless calligraphy.

Steeling himself, Xichen approaches them. They are perusing a stall whose owner is making grand promises about swordsmanship and cultivation and Xichen loathes the man already; he _must_ know his wares are worthless, but is seeking to take advantage of the desperate hope of ordinary people.

"- this one," the woman is saying. "Will it help him to advance his skills?"

"It will not," Xichen says, cutting off the hawker's reply. "Such things have no value. The secrets of cultivation are not for sale in town markets, and swordsmanship cannot be learned from a book."

"You -" the stall's owner begins, and then he takes in the robes, and the ribbon, and the sword, and falls silent, going pale.

The woman turns to him, and sees the same thing; he sees emotions chase one another across her face. Disappointment, realisation, hope, disappointment, fear. A cultivator from a noble sect stands before her; he will not want her son, she will think, but he may want other things, and he may be angry that she was chasing such dreams for her boy, when he is the son of - a person like her.

Xichen takes a breath. "What is your name?" he asks the boy, because he has to be sure; he cannot take the wrong child, and leave the one he seeks behind.

The boy stands tall, even though he is shaking. "Meng Yao," he says.

"If you wish," he says, to both of them, "Meng Yao may come to the Cloud Recesses, and study cultivation properly."

Madam Meng smiles, bright and joyous. "A-Yao," she says, "will not disappoint you."

> Meng Yao gets his own fic too.

Xichen smiles, even though he feels sick at it. "I am certain he has potential," he says. Potential for what, he does _not_ say.

He returns to the Cloud Recesses with Meng Yao at his side, and takes him to Uncle, who assesses his knowledge and skills with care.

"The boy has talent," Uncle concludes, "and potential. A quick mind. He needs only be given instruction the once. You did well, Xichen. It would be a shame to waste such an able student." There is a gleam of satisfaction in his eye. "His practical skills may never overcome the delay in his proper training, but his understanding of theory may yet be second to none. He will be a pleasure to teach, indeed."

Xichen knows his uncle genuinely loves to teach; he delights in the learning of others.

> He does, truly. He's just not good at handling students who aren't, well, studious.

Perhaps his joy and pride in his new student will be a positive influence on Meng Yao.

Perhaps Xichen is a fool, and will destroy everyone he loves.

\---

At the Discussion Conference of the Wen Sect at Qishan, Wei Wuxian goes looking for someone in the Nightless City before the archery contest. Lan Zhan has been collected by Lan Xichen to visit with the representatives from their sect who have come to the Conference.

Wei Wuxian suspects that Lan Qiren is probably testing him for signs of lax discipline and moral corruption after over a year away. He's not at all concerned. Lan Zhan's discipline is still without parallel, and Lan Zhan is no more morally corrupted than he was when they left Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian finds a boy with a bow, shooting flawlessly into a target, and smiles.

"Wen Ning," he calls, as gently as he can. The boy looks around, wide-eyed.

"Sir - sir, I am sorry, very sorry, I do not - do not know you, I must have forgotten..." He drops the bow and backs away.

> precious boy :(

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Wei Wuxian tries to be as gentle and non-threatening as he can. "Wen Ning! It really is so wonderful to see you. Tell me, is your sister around?"

"This... this way." Wen Ning scurries away. Wei Wuxian smiles. Of course, Wen Ning would obviously prefer that his fearsome sister deal with this terrifying stranger. He follows.

Wen Ning leads him a short distance away, to where Wen Qing is in discussion with some people from other sects - other doctors, perhaps, Wei Wuxian guesses. Wen Ning hurries towards her, and she immediately excuses herself. Wen Ning says something. She nods, and then approaches Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning hunching into himself at her elbow.

> Wen Qing, of course, will drop pretty much anything if A-Ning needs her.

Wei Wuxian can't help but smile widely at her sharp, assessing gaze, the cool suspicion with which she eyes him. He's missed her so very much.

"Wen-guniang," he says, bowing. "It is my honour and joy to be in your presence. This one is Wei Wuxian."

She frowns. Her expression suggests that she is not entirely sure what game he thinks he is playing, but she does not wish to play, and does not approve of the game or of him.

> I love Wen Qing so much, It may show.

He really does adore her.

> Wei Wuxian's love for Wen Qing is absolute.
> 
> Given that for purposes of this fic series Wen Qing is asexual, it's really just as well for Wei Wuxian that he was already in love with Lan Zhan before they tried to build a life at the Burial Mounds, or he might have ended up pining horribly for her, which wouldn't have ended as well for him. As it is, he just loves her, and doesn't want more from her than just for her to... exist, and occasionally do it where he can see her, and honestly anything else is a wonderful bonus. For a little while, she was his friend, his sister, his partner - it was clear that the Burial Mounds settlement was _theirs_ , it was like a family, there are married couples who entwine their lives less thoroughly than Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing did. They both had their issues, they both have their damage, and I don't think they ever, ever talked about it, but the love between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing was real and true.
> 
> And at this point? He hasn't seen her in just... _so long_. She died near the end of his first life, he missed her for the entirety of his second and he's been waiting all of his third for this moment. Wen Qing is alive. He's looking at her. He's talking to her. She doesn't remember him, and that's okay, because she's giving him everything he needs, right now: she's alive. Bonus: she's alive _where he can see her_ , that right there makes him so happy he can hardly stand it.
> 
> A few years later, she'll be Jiang Cheng's wife and he'll get a little thrill of joy every time she says something that implies that they're _family_ , that Lotus Pier is home. Because having a shared sense of home with Wen Qing again - a nice one, this time, no less - and sharing a _family_ with Wen Qing, that's everything he _wants_ from her.
> 
> At this point, Wen Qing does not know him, does not trust him, has no interest in him, but she's smart and canny and takes note of his offer, and she'll call on him when she starts to become very, very afraid of the consequences of what the Wen are doing - which she will, because she's much more intelligent than Wen Ruohan. Later, she will come to be fond of him, and later than _that_ she will come to love him much like she did before, because he is very charming, in his way, and because she will have realised, by then, that his love for her is absolute, and also that his love for her does not carry with it expectations. He doesn't want anything from her that she is unwilling to give. Loving him is safe, because the only things he ever actually _asks_ her to do for him are perfectly reasonable and appropriate requests in accordance with her status as a doctor, or as his sister-in-law.

"What business do you have with my brother?" she asks.

"Wen Qionglin's archery skills are truly remarkable," he says. "I have never seen anyone of the Wen Sect with such flawless form. However, I must give a warning that it is very frightening to shoot in front of others for the first time, and perhaps he should be careful of his confidence if he wishes to enter the archery competition." He directs a gentle smile at Wen Ning. "Practice in front of other people first."

Wen Qing's eyes narrow. "Is that all? You knew him. You know his name."

"I did. I do. And I know the name of Wen Qing, also. Wen Qing is perhaps the greatest doctor in all the world."

"Is this your idea of flirting?" she asks scathingly, and he laughs.

"I would never flirt with Wen Qing. I am betrothed, and Wen Qing would never be interested in this unworthy one." He bows deeply. "I owe Wen Qing a debt. I owe Wen Ning a debt. My debt is one I can neither explain nor repay." He straightens, steps closer, and lowers his voice. "I am Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian. I am the senior disciple of the Jiang Sect. My betrothed is... a quite senior person in the Lan Sect. My shijie is betrothed to the heir of the Jin Sect. If there should come a time when you are afraid, or in need of help, and you call to me, I will do anything and everything in my power to assist you." He looks at Wen Ning. "Either of you."

Wen Ning is staring at him in a familiar way, and Wei Wuxian thinks that he will still not regret the fall of Wen Ruohan, because it is painful, so painful, that Wen Ning's loyalty is won so easily by the first person other than his sister to show him kindness or concern.

Wen Qing cocks her head at him. "Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian, who is very well-connected, who owes me a debt he cannot explain, and that I do not remember." She bows with technical precision. "I cannot imagine how such a person will be able to assist me, but I will mark your offer."

He leaves.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are tied for first in the archery competition, ahead of Lan Xichen and Jin Zixuan. (Wen Chao fails badly.)

> Wei Wuxian never quite connected Wen Chao's hatred of him with this incident, alas.

When the Discussion Conference concludes, Lan Zhan returns again to Lotus Pier.

Not long afterwards, the Wen Sect forbids other sects to night-hunt.

Another year passes. Those who notice that Wei Wuxian is training hard and working intensely on his cultivation attribute it to the positive influence of his friendship with Lan Wangji. (Their betrothal has not been announced in public, and Wei Wuxian is far more afraid of Madam Yu than he is of Lan Qiren. They are more careful to be discreet.)

> Fortunately they need to work on Lan Zhan's swimming abilities, because the standards of the Jiang Sect for swimming are very high indeed, so they can go make out while neck-deep in lakes.

Wei Wuxian is so terribly, terribly afraid of what is to come. Of getting this wrong. He has taken steps, but...

Two things happen in quick succession.

The Wen Sect summons other sects' disciples for indoctrination.

And the Wen Sect attacks Cloud Recesses.

"Brother says the damage was limited," Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian, Uncle Jiang, Madam Yu, and Jiang Cheng, voice level. "Copies of every book were stored in the hidden rooms we constructed last year, and they have been warding the buildings and surrounding forests against fire for some time. The vulnerable were evacuated in good order. A supervisory office has been established in Caiyi, but the Cloud Recesses still stand. There were some injuries, but only one death." He hesitates. "There was a person who refused to evacuate, and had refused to allow his seclusion to be interrupted in order to ward the building in which he resided properly."

> Because he was a useless tool

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian whispers. "Was it -"

"It was my father," Lan Zhan says. His voice and expression are still neutral, but when Wei Wuxian throws himself at him, hugs him tightly, Lan Zhan presses his face to Wei Wuxian's shoulder, and even Jiang Cheng doesn't say anything about it.


	8. Chapter 8

They travel to Qishan as ordered.

The Wen demand they hand over their swords.

Wei Wuxian calmly unstraps the sword at his side, runs his fingers over the smooth, iron-bound wood, and hands it over.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan present the weapons they carry without comment. Jin Zixuan glances at Wei Wuxian after he surrenders his.

> told you

Wen Chao looks over the collection of weapons, and sneers. "You're all pathetic! What nonsense do your sects teach that these are your spiritual tools? Now that you are here, you will learn properly!"

> Wen Chao would probably have said this anyway; they're young, most of their swords aren't that strong yet.
> 
> But in this case, he's _particularly noticing_ that some of their swords seem to have no power to them at all.
> 
> Which is because they're completely mundane objects made to *look like* their swords.

As the weeks pass, weeks in which Wen Chao seeks constantly to harass and embarrass Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan in particular, Lan Zhan retreats further and further into his icy facade. Wei Wuxian hates it, but has to let it happen, because their situation is too dangerous.

> I have a tendency to breeze past a lot of shit, really

He finds it's a relief the day they wake and are ushered towards Dusk-Creek Mountain.

Without exchanging any words, a certain group has developed, tending to walk together on these occasions. Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Zhan, of course, but Jin Zixuan and MianMian walk with them. Jin Zixuan has introduced MianMian as Luo-guniang, and Wei Wuxian has this time not flirted at all.

> MianMian's view of Wei Wuxian in this timeline is different. He's not the guy who flirted with her excessively but also threw himself in front of a branding iron for her - he's the guy who clearly already has a boyfriend, and then was pretty obviously *leading* the effort to save everyone, but not the only one involved. She likes and respects him and is less just _grateful_.

Lan Zhan is already hurting. He is grieving, and he is struggling with his very difficult and conflicted feelings about his father, and he has been tormented for weeks by Wen Chao.

The cave entrance is found, and they are ordered inside. Jin Zixuan glances at Wei Wuxian.

> He has his moments of not being an idiot, and this is one of them; he's deferring to Wei Wuxian because Wei Wuxian is the reason he has a sword hidden away right now and the reason he knows enough talisman magic to have survived Wen Chao's shit and is clearly the only one who has _any_ idea of what they should do.

"Just go," Wei Wuxian murmurs, and Jin Zixuan nods.

The cave is... oppressive. Wei Wuxian concentrates on the plan he has spent so long thinking about, reminding himself of every part of it, to distract himself from his dread and the feeling that the mountain is closing in on him.

He is not enjoying being back in this place.

Last time, his soul had not carried the scars of demonic cultivation, had not held the Stygian sword or been cast into the Yiling Burial Mounds.

Last time, he had not felt the resentful energy, chokingly thick in the air, had not felt it curling around him, reaching for him, begging for him like a well-tamed beast for its master.

> Look, Wei Wuxian _does shit other people can't do_ , even right after he wakes up in Mo Xuanyu's body. Just... talking to corpses casually and having them obey him? Other cultivators can't do that. Wen Ning heard _wake up_ from his _dungeon_.

He can taste centuries of _lostforgottenhurtinglostangryforgottenlostpainhate_ on his tongue, and can't quite believe that no-one else is even noticing. It's seeping into his blood with every breath, meeting the surging power of the golden core he still has with whispers of _vengeance_ and _please_ and _help_ , thousands of spirits crying for freedom, for release, for him to make it stop.

He closes his eyes, just for a moment, and thinks: _yes. I will end this._

They reach the deep pool of water, and the dead end.

Wei Wuxian whistles a brief tune. "Looks like there's nothing here!" he says loudly, drowning out the sounds from beneath the water's surface.

> doot doot doot who's waking the restless spirits of the dead not me

Wen Chao curses. "Well, then -"

He does not get the chance to explain his 'idea', because here, in this place, the Yiling Patriarch does not need the Stygian Tiger Seal to be powerful. The lost weapons of the dead have stirred, hurled themselves against the shell that protects the Xuanwu of Slaughter, and the beast is awakened.

Wei Wuxian staggers slightly through the ensuing melee. He had a plan for this, he did, but he hadn't expected the sheer _power_ that's in this place for someone whose soul it can sing to.

> His plans had not included "so it turns out I'm trying to cut out paper shapes with a chainsaw"

Wang Lingjiao, eyes filled with hate, moves towards MianMian, but tendrils of dark energy send her sprawling.

The Xuanwu almost strikes Jin Zixuan, but a cloud of darkness engulfs him, and the beast passes, leaving him unscathed.

> he might have got clear, wwx not taking chances

Arrows glance off the Xuanwu's scales, several Wen disciples die in its jaws, jets of fire send disciples scattering, and the Wen begin a frantic retreat.

> fuck the Wen tho

The other disciples follow them up the tunnel, but find the vine they climbed down cut, and the Wen blockading the exit.

"We can wait," Jin Zixuan mutters, "and break out when they're gone."

He glances around, then reaches into his Qiankun sleeve and draws out Suihua. MianMian produces her own sword.

> So I think there was a thing about the Wen searching them and finding all the food shijie loaded them down with, the first time?
> 
> This time she didn't bother, but the Wen might have searched them, and I think about this shit way too hard, so:
> 
> They have hidden qiankun pockets in their sleeves, with the seam of the lining of their sleeves sewn over it for total concealment, but at this time they opening the stitches to reach past it. Those swords were _hidden_.

"How did you -" one of the other disciples gasps.

"We brought replicas to give them," Jin Zixuan replies. "I... had reason for suspicion of the honour of the Wen."

"So did we," Jiang Cheng says, pulling out Sandu. He looks around for Wei Wuxian, and curses. "Wei Wuxian! Are you wounded?"

Wei Wuxian is not wounded, but he is sitting slumped against the wall, and can't yet manage to speak, even to calm Lan Zhan, who is frantically patting him down for injuries.

He can barely hear the others past the screaming in his mind. The spirits below will not accept him leaving without granting them surcease.

He grabs Lan Zhan's hand, looks pleadingly into his eyes, sees the sudden realisation. Lan Zhan moves his hands, and Wei Wuxian feels the cool, soothing wash of his spiritual energy, quieting the chaos in his blood.

Wei Wuxian's cultivation is strong, extremely so for his current physical age, but he's impatient and impulsive; Lan Zhan meditates every day. Their energy has very different character.

"I'm fine," he can finally say. "But we can't go out that way. The Wen might leave guards."

"So what, we just die here?" comes a voice from somewhere in the ranks of the Jin disciples.

"Be quiet," Jin Zixuan snaps. "Wei-gongzi, what do we do?" His tone when he addresses Wei Wuxian is polite, even respectful.

"Help me up," Wei Wuxian says. Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng each take one of his arms. Wei Wuxian takes a slow, careful breath, and a couple of steps back towards the depths. The resentful energy calms somewhat, stops clawing at him so desperately. "Okay. I'm all right now." He does not entertain the illusion that this will stop Lan Zhan or Jiang Cheng worrying. "Who else has swords?" He takes out Suibian.

Lan Zhan has Bichen. (Wei Wuxian still hopes they reclaim the replica Lan Xichen had commissioned at the Cloud Recesses; Bichen is a very beautiful sword, and the replica is a work of art.)

> if you read more into this line than "it's pretty and they can hang it on the wall to be pretty" please don't tell me about it

Unsurprisingly, no-one else has a sword at all. Some look faintly chagrined about this, like they feel like they should have thought of it.

"Well," Wei Wuxian says, "I think too much of a crowd will draw the beast's attention. I think just people with swords should go down to look carefully and see if we can make another plan."

"There may be another exit," Lan Zhan says. "Maple leaves," and Wei Wuxian loves him so much it hurts.

Or maybe that's just the resentful energy still clutching pleadingly at his heart.

"Just in case, perhaps Luo-guniang should stay here, so that there's still a way out if you have to go up," he says. MianMian looks as though she wants to protest, but Jin Zixuan nods his agreement.

It's not that he doesn't think she's competent - she is, extremely so. But his plan _could_ go wrong, and the other disciples would be trapped, and he _absolutely_ does not wish to make her a target for Wen Chao's vengeance. Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji are the sons and brother of sect leaders. Wei Wuxian does not trust Jin Guangshan to protect her, should it come to that.

> MianMian does not get to be a hero, sadly, because the Wen would probably come after her, and that asshole Jin Guangshan would throw her to the wolves.

Wei Wuxian draws Suibian and cuts wards into the rock between the waiting disciples and the four of them who are descending. They will give the disciples some measure of protection, and also prevent them from hearing what happens.

The others descend.

\---

"You have a plan, don't you," Jin Zixuan says softly. "I won't ask how you knew this would happen, but I really get the feeling you did."

"It's not that I forget you're not an idiot," Wei Wuxian says, "so much as that it would be so much easier if you were." He grins in the torchlight. "I mean, you don't think I believe you'll ever be good enough for shijie, do you?"

> realistically he's kind of an idiot sometimes though

Jin Zixuan huffs. "Naturally." A pause. "I hope you believe that I will _try_ to be."

"The motto of the Jiang Sect is to attempt the impossible," Jiang Cheng says. "Welcome to the family."

Jin Zixuan smiles, really smiles, and even Wei Wuxian will admit that he is, at least, quite handsome.

> awww

\---

They are in the last section of the tunnel before they reach the beast's lair.

Wei Wuxian reaches into his sleeve and produces a coil of long, strong cord, which he hands to Lan Zhan.

"Killer-String?" Lan Zhan asks. Wei Wuxian nods.

"This is the plan. I need you all not to argue with me." He fixes them each in turn with a stern look. "I will force the beast out of its shell. Lan Zhan will catch it with the cord and use Killer-String. Jiang Cheng, Jin-xiong, when its vulnerable parts are exposed, you will also attack. Hurt it, and keep it from turning on Lan Zhan."

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says. "The beast is -"

"Later," Wei Wuxian cuts him off sharply.

"How will you force it out?" Jiang Cheng asks suspiciously.

This was why Wei Wuxian did not want unnecessary witnesses. (Jin Zixuan was necessary. His pride would not let him remain, in any case, but Wei Wuxian had several reasons for wanting him to be a part of this fight.)

> Jin Zixuan being part of this fight means that the Wen going off insisting Wen Chao was the one who killed it will offend the Jin, means Jin Zixuan has a connection to the other three, and that he'll get the demonic cultivation information in a situation where Wei Wuxian can totally kill him if he handles it wrong and say he died to the Xuanwu of Slaughter.
> 
> He's genuinely hoping to avoid that last one and doesn't think it's likely, but, you know
> 
> if necessary

He reaches into his sleeve, and pulls out his flute.

It's not Chenqing - or at least, it's not Chenqing yet, and he hopes it never will be. It's a very nice flute; Lan Xichen gave it to him not long after his betrothal to Lan Zhan. It is as white as snow, with a jade charm.

He loves it.

He wants it to be... better... than Chenqing was. He has tentatively named it Baohu.

> I was nervous about this and I'm really glad people reacted positively

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan whispers. "No."

"Yes," he says softly. "Trust me." He tucks Suibian into his belt. "And be ready."

He reaches into distant, distant memories.

_The moment his hand grasped the sword, the screaming, the rush._

_The way it felt in his hand. In the cave, and in the Burial Mounds._

_The way its power responded to his call, to his command, to his music._

He puts his flute to his lips, and plays.

_He can feel it, the focal point, like the point of a needle, so much energy behind it, pushing it. It's clumsy and unwieldy in this form, he needs to reforge it to make it his, like breaking a horse to the saddle, but he can do it, it will obey, know its master has arrived -_

Wei Wuxian walks forward, into the open, wondering if the earth is really trembling under him like it seems. He is vaguely aware of the others moving past him to take their positions.

He hears the Xuanwu scream.

The form of the shell is shaking, shuddering, as the remains of the bodies within surge and convulse. The fallen weapons in the water and on the ground take on a life of their own, flinging themselves up. Some manage to get inside the shell and crash around inside.

The Xuanwu's home has turned against it, and it seeks to escape.

It bursts out of the shell.

Lan Zhan catches its neck in the cord, pulls tight and strums Killer-String into its flesh.

Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan harass it from the shore, sword glares flashing, each in turn retreating rapidly when it turns its attack towards them, between them keeping it from turning to attack Lan Zhan, who's pulling hard on the cord even as it cuts into his hands.

The maddened beast thrashes as Lan Zhan's cord cuts it deeper, ever deeper, and the power of its victims ravages along its length under the fierce tones of Baohu. It swings wildly from one of its tormentors to another, but Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan are elegant and careful, dancing in and out of range.

Finally, it stills.

The Xuanwu of Slaughter will never kill again.

 _Come_ , Wei Wuxian commands. _No-one else can be permitted to have you._

The last notes die away. He lowers his flute in his left hand, and raises his right.

The Stygian sword smacks into his palm.

When he's sure the beast is dead, Lan Zhan leaps down to Wei Wuxian, wraps his arms around him, holds him almost too tightly.

He's exhausted, and Lan Zhan's hands are bleeding on Wei Wuxian's clothes, but he will, unquestionably, take this as an unqualified victory.

"What _was_ that?" Jiang Cheng demands. He turns to Lan Zhan. "You know, don't you?"

Lan Zhan nods slowly. "The Xuanwu of Slaughter."

"The Xuanwu of Slaughter."

"Mn."

"We killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter."

"Mn."

Jiang Cheng sits down abruptly on the rocky shore.

> and that, Jiang Cheng, is why he didn't let you think about that in advance

Jin Zixuan is staring at Wei Wuxian. "Wei-gongzi," he says hesitantly, "what did you _do_?"

"Something I need you not to tell anyone about," Wei Wuxian says. He coughs and spits blood. "I really, really don't want people to know about it, if only because I don't want to have to do it unless it's _absolutely_ necessary."

"When you argued with Master Lan about cultivating with resentful energy, it wasn't just to provoke him, was it," Jin Zixuan says. "You already -" He shakes his head. "When? How? The Jiang Sect can't possibly teach this, can it?"

"It doesn't," Jiang Cheng tells him sharply. "Wei Wuxian knows because - because of other reasons, because he _had no choice_ but to know, and he just saved us all."

Jin Zixuan looks at Jiang Cheng for a long moment, and then at Wei Wuxian, and at Lan Zhan, who has loosened, but not released, his hold.

"The four of us engaged the beast in battle," Jin Zixuan says at last. "The beast was powerful, and we struggled at great length, but emerged victorious. It was my honour to fight alongside the remarkable and admirable disciples of Jiang and Lan. Though the story would be worthy of legend, I cannot fairly speak in greater detail. I was pushed to the limits of my capacity, and could not watch the others with great attention. Were I to try and describe the battle, I cannot guarantee that I will do true justice to my heroic companions." He bows. "This is what I will say. No word is a lie. None will dare to question me."

> Good boy.

Wei Wuxian remembers Jin Ling, and thinks that perhaps he was unfair always to assign the boy's best qualities to shijie, and his flaws to his father and Jiang Cheng's anger-based approach to parenting.

Perhaps his father, too, deserved to be remembered in his son.

\---

The underwater passage is still there.

They collect the other disciples. MianMian still has her perfume sachet of medicinal herbs, and binds the wounds where Lan Zhan's cord cut into his hands.

They all troop back down, skirt cautiously past the body of the beast, and emerge into a dark night.

Apparently the battle took hours. It really didn't feel like it, Wei Wuxian thinks.

The four who fought are pushed to sit around a fire while the remaining disciples set up a camp around them.

MianMian is insistent. "The four of you killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter, while the rest of us waited around for you to save us, doing nothing. You will _rest_ ," she orders, and even Jin Zixuan does not object to being commanded by his subordinate.

"I am exhausted," he admits.

No-one wants to eat fish from the river that touches the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, but someone has caught a deer, and others have foraged for edible plants, and so there is a certain amount of food, of which the combatants are brought the choicest portion.

Wei Wuxian has little appetite. The Stygian sword is in his hand, and the future suddenly feels very real, and very near.

> This is very much chapter Shit Gets Real.

"Eat," Lan Zhan insists.

He eats.


	9. Chapter 9

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, Lan Zhan, and the other disciples of the Jiang Sect make their way back to Lotus Pier. Since Jin Zixuan flew back to Lanling immediately, the story of what happened beats them there, and they are met by Madam Yu, who is, presumably, not waiting for their return like a servant as she so deplores, but Wei Wuxian could not explicitly identify the distinction.

> Yeah, there isn't one.
> 
> Not all of the Jiang disciples had taken swords - high-risk making too big a production of it, secrets need to be kept secret - and they decided to keep their group together, but word spread out from Lanling pretty fast _afterwards_. Madam Yu has been freaking out, because the thing is that she does love Jiang Cheng, and she also does love Wei Wuxian in much, much more complicated ways.

She looks Jiang Cheng over, eyes shining with unshed tears, and then she hugs him, which Wei Wuxian has only seen her do, before, on the day she died.

With a pang, he remembers A-Yuan, and Jin Ling, and the other disciples, and understands how she feels.

> Wei Wuxian has seen "his" kids come back from danger. He knows _exactly_ how she feels.

And then she turns to him.

He is not surprised when she exclaims: "And you! You stupid boy!" He is surprised when she hugs him just as tightly. "I'm sure it was all your idea. What would we tell the Lan if something happened to you? If something happened to Wangji? What would I tell Madam Jin or a-Li if -" She catches herself, and lets him go. "Go, both of you. Kneel in the Hall of the Ancestors. Apologise for being so reckless, and be thankful you came back alive!"

> Because she isn't yet at the place where she can admit that it would hurt her if Wei Wuxian died, but she can admit that it would be _awkward_ and _diplomatically problematic_ to tell the Lan that Lan Wangji had been killed, or her daughter or friend that Jin Zixuan had.

She turns away, head held high, and if any of them hear her choked-off sob, none of them will ever, ever admit it.

Jiang Fengmian walks with them for a way as they dutifully go to the Hall of the Ancestors. "She burned incense morning and night for your safe return," he murmurs. "Both of you."

> Jiang Fengmian's opinion of his wife has been growing since Wei Ying came back from Gusu. He didn't expect her to defend Wei Ying so vociferously.

\---

Wei Wuxian sleeps like the d- like a person who is very tired, that night. He's still listless the next day.

When he emerges from his bedroom and approaches the family table for breakfast, Madam Yu takes one look at him and snaps, "I won't have you getting sick and letting everyone else catch it, too. Return to your bed immediately. I'm sure Wangji will be willing to bring you your breakfast there - no, you hurt your hands. Wangji, escort him to his bedroom and make sure he stays there. He's incorrigible, I don't trust him. A-Cheng, take a tray for both of them, then you may return to the table."

> Madam Yu is also not yet at the point where she is ready to express direct concern for Wei Ying's health.

"Mn," says Lan Zhan, and rises immediately. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes but immediately begins loading a tray with dishes, and it does not escape Wei Wuxian that he is selecting heavily from Wei Wuxian's favourites.

> Jiang Cheng's love and concern, as always, show in his actions, not his words.

As Lan Zhan ushers him back to his bedroom, he hears Madam Yu continue her orders. "A-Li, supervise him closely until he is fully recovered. If he needs a healer, send for one immediately."

> Madam Yu knows that if the boys need love and care? That's Yanli's thing, not hers. She is _aware_ that Jiang Yanli has cared for them both, that Yanli is the one they have always turned to when they need comfort. She knows that her daughter has always been the one to make up for her own inadequacies as a mother.

"I didn't even say good morning," Wei Wuxian protests weakly, as Lan Zhan presses him gently back into his bed and adjusts the covers.

"Mn," Lan Zhan says. "Rest."

\---

After breakfast, he does fall asleep again, and wakes in the early evening to the sound of guqin music.

"Lan Zhan," he gasps, bolting upright, "your hands!"

"My hands are recovered," Lan Zhan says, without pausing in his playing. Wei Wuxian realises what he's hearing.

"Lan Zhan," he groans. " _Cleansing_?"

"You know why."

He does know why.

So he lies back in bed, and listens.

\---

He recovers within days.

Unfortunately, Lan Zhan and shijie don't believe him, so he is only permitted to walk outside and recline in the shade, partaking of the fresh air in a restful manner.

> Wei Wuxian is not so much the boy who cried wolf as the boy who cried _no really I'm fine now_.

No-one is sympathetic to his complaints that he is being held prisoner against his will, or his protestations that he is fully recovered. He suggests that Lan Zhan and shijie could put their time to better use than such nursemaiding.

Madam Yu hears this appeal, and offers to let her terrifying handmaids Jinzhu and Yinzhu take turns minding him instead, if the devotion of his shijie and his betrothed troubles his conscience.

> Madam Yu: you will rest _or else_

He says very meekly that that is unnecessary, that he is appreciative that shijie is so dutiful as to show such care for her unworthy shidi, and that he is very grateful to have this time with his future husband.

\---

Finally, he is deemed to be healthy again.

Time is growing short. Uncle Jiang goes to meet with other Sect Leaders about the outrages of the Wen and returns seeming quite troubled.

As the senior disciple, Wei Wuxian has a certain authority over other juniors, and he applies it with force. His orders are strict. Until he says otherwise, the boys are not permitted to roam outside the gates, and there is to be no kite-shooting.

> No kidnapping of his shidis will be permitted.

Instead, all of them, even down to the smallest shidi, are to stay in the halls and the training fields at all times.

In the meantime, Wei Wuxian flies out a distance and places a ring of talismans, to warn of the approach of certain persons.

He and shijie strengthen the wards around Lotus Pier. Shijie paints new wards on his chest, on his arms, on the ribbon he wears in his hair, on every piece of a spare set of his clothing.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan watch these preparations with concern.

> Wei Wuxian did not prepare this carefully for the _Xuanwu of Slaughter_ and they know it.

Wei Wuxian insists that Lan Zhan stop playing _Cleansing_ , for now, and conserve his spiritual energy.

Clan Leader Yao comes to Lotus Pier, wounded, and Jiang Fengmian leaves to escort him to Lanling.

> Should've let him die tbh.

The talismans go off late that evening.

The next morning, Wei Wuxian dresses in the warded garments, gathers the other disciples, and declares: "I have noticed, you know, that this place is filthy. I know it's all of you, tracking mud into Lotus Pier, and I don't think it's fair to expect the servants to clean it up. Fetch buckets, all of you. Today you will work on strength, and you will do it by hauling buckets of water, and sluicing down the courtyards and the piers. I want them to look like a flood has happened!"

The juniors look around. It really doesn't look that dirty.

But their shixiong's instructions were clear, so they set to work.

> Look, they love him and they look up to him and if his instructions piss off Madam Yu they know he'll be the one who takes the brunt of her rage.

"Wei Wuxian," Jiang Cheng asks softly, "what are you doing?"

Wei Wuxian does not meet his eyes. "If we are very lucky, I am being ridiculous," he says quietly. "If we are not, then I hope that I am keeping your mother and father alive."

Jiang Cheng fetches a bucket.

Lan Zhan looks at him. (He is worried.) "Wei Ying..." he says.

"I know, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian sighs. "I just recovered from last time, and you hate that I do this at all." He looks at Lan Zhan, and lets his fear show in his eyes. "But today is a dangerous day, entering a dangerous time. I have to."

Lan Zhan kisses him gently, and gets a bucket too.

In a quite short time, the outside areas of Lotus Pier are sodden, water running everywhere, and the disciples are still adding more.

It's an appalling mess, and Madam Yu is not pleased.

"What are you doing?" she demands.

Wei Wuxian turns to face her, and consciously makes himself see her. He is not just the boy who grew up under her rule, in his first life or in this one.

He is the Yiling Patriarch. He is Wei Wuxian, who was the husband of the Chief Cultivator. He has the memories of the man who lived, in his second life, to be older than she is now, who was loved and feared across the cultivation world.

She is a strong and remarkable woman, an admirable cultivator. She carries wounds. Her marriage is not what she might have hoped for. She fears for her children, fears that if any weakness should be permitted, it could be their downfall. She is proud, but her pride is a mask.

She is also perceptive.

He lets her see it, see that she is seen, remembers how it felt to be untouchable, the man no-one dared to challenge, and lets her see that in him, too.

She gasps, softly. "Wei Ying?" she murmurs, and then frowns. "You are _not_ Wei Ying."

He sees Zidian spark, and hastily grabs her wrist. He does not want to be struck with it ever again, but especially not today, and _really_ not if Madam Yu is doing it in the sincere belief that she will save him from some kind of possession.

> Seriously, he needs his strength and his capacity to be at their best, and getting hit with Zidian _because Madam Yu was sincerely and profoundly concerned for him and doing it for his own good_ would just be tragic.

"I am. I am Wei Ying, I promise you," and he lets the Yiling Patriarch recede, gives her the insouciant grin he knows she has always found irritating. "Things are going to happen today. I'm going to be a little strange. But I will keep you and Uncle Jiang and shijie and Jiang Cheng alive, and then afterwards, I can explain."

Shijie has clearly spotted this brewing confrontation, and come quickly to join them. "It's all right, Mother," she says quietly. "A-Xian is doing what he needs to do."

Madam Yu is kept from replying by the arrival of Wen Sect cultivators, coming uninvited through the gates near the training fields.

Wang Lingjiao follows after them.

\---

She is as rude as he remembers. She does not, this time, tour the outside of Lotus Pier; instead, she expresses her disgust at the water that is running everywhere, and goes directly to the main hall.

As they trail behind her, Wei Wuxian catches fourth shidi's eye and beckons him over. "Get everyone inside," he orders. " _Everyone._ Lock all the doors." The boy nods and hurries away.

Wang Lingjiao seats herself at the head of the main table.

Madam Yu sits also, with grace, elegance, and poise.

> Because once again, Wang Lingjiao doesn't even realise how outclassed she is. Wang Lingjiao is a bitch. Madam Yu is _The_ Bitch.

Jinzhu and Yinzhu smirk behind her.

Wei Wuxian breathes slowly and evenly, grounds himself by looking at Lan Zhan's expression of utterly profound disapproval. Lan Zhan wasn't here, before. This is different. This will be different.

He has prepared for this for so, so long.

> This, more than anything, is what he's been most worried about. This is when it all fell apart, before.
> 
> A fair chunk of the dialogue here is straight out of the book.

"Where's the tea?" Wang Lingjiao demands.

"There is no tea. Get it yourself if you want any," Yinzhu sniffs.

"Don't the Jiang Sect's servants ever do anything?"

Jinzhu replies dismissively. "The Jiang Sect's servants have more important things to do. Nobody ever needs others to do things like pouring tea. They're not crippled."

"Who are you?"

"My personal maids," Madam Yu replies.

"Madam Yu, your Jiang Sect really is outrageous. Even maids dare interrupt a conversation in the main hall. Servants like this have their faces slapped in the Wen Sect."

"Jinzhu and Yinzhu aren't ordinary servants. They've stayed with me since I was young, and have never served anyone else. No-one is permitted to slap them. No-one would dare."

There's a threat there, if Wang Lingjiao were clever enough to spot it.

"Madam Yu, what are you talking about? In a prominent sect, there has to be a clear distinction between the superior and the inferior for it to be not in chaos. Servants should be what servants ought to be."

Madam Yu gives Wang Lingjiao a long, slow look. "And yet," she says, with deliberate meaning, "it seems that is not always the case."

> Hey Wang Lingjiao, she means you, _woman who was Wen Chao's wife's maid_

She waits a moment for that to sink in, and then asks, "Why are you here?"

Wang Lingjiao glares. "I am representing the Wen Sect and Young Master Wen, here to punish someone." She points at Wei Wuxian. "This brat disobeyed the authority of Young Master Wen, and disrupted him when he was in battle with the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Fortunately, Young Master Wen prevailed, but he made Young Master Wen tired, and made it much more difficult."

 _Interesting_ , Wei Wuxian thinks. _They would hardly dare accuse Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng, or Lan Zhan, the sons and brother of Sect Leaders. It's still me._

"That is a lie," Lan Zhan says coldly. Wei Wuxian risks a glance at him. Lan Zhan is outraged and disgusted.

> yeah no-one else needs to imply she's lying when Lan Zhan is there to say it to her face

" _What_?"

"That is a lie," Lan Zhan repeats. "Wen Chao fled from the beast in terror, and sealed the exit behind himself. The Xuanwu of Slaughter was destroyed by Wei Wuxian. By Jiang Wanyin. By Jin Zixuan. By Lan Wangji. To say otherwise is false."

"You _dare_?" Wang Lingjiao shrieks. "Is this how honoured guests are treated in the Jiang Sect?"

"Lan Wangji is, indeed, an honoured guest," Madam Yu says without taking her eyes off Wang Lingjiao. "We will apologise to him later."

"Unnecessary," Lan Zhan says.

"Most gracious." Madam Yu smiles faintly.

> Because in a contest to see who can out-bitch the other, where one team is Madam Yu and Lan Wangji, and the other team is _literally anyone_ , team Madam Yu and Lan Wangji wins. Madam Yu _versus_ Lan Wangji would go down to the wire.

The smile disappears when Wang Lingjiao begins ranting about how clearly this demonstrates the need for a supervisory office in Yunmeng.

"Supervisory office?"

After that it's only a matter of time, so Wei Wuxian stops paying attention and pulls out Baohu. "Don't let her send out a signal," he murmurs to Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng, and starts to play.

Everyone is far too intent on the argument to really notice him. He concentrates on his fluting, trusting in Lan Zhan to protect him if anyone attacks. He hears Madam Yu slap Wang Lingjiao, and crosses to the hall's doorway as the fight breaks out behind him. Jinzhu, Yinzhu, Jiang Cheng, Lan Zhan, and Madam Yu - they would be more than a match for more Wen cultivators than these.

Wen Zhuliu has looked around at the sound of the argument. At the sound of the slap, he begins walking towards the hall.

What Wen Zhuliu has not seen is that the water that has flooded the courtyard, that is still running in steady streams down to the river, connecting into a single body of water, is turning black, darkness coiling through the water.

> One of the... I'm going to say quirks... of my writing style is that tend to dislike and edit out too many uses of the same word too near each other. I had trouble with a shortage of synonyms for "darkness".

Wei Wuxian plays faster.

The dark swirls coalesce rapidly until the courtyard looks like it has been flooded with ink.

Wen Zhuliu only looks down when he finds that he cannot lift his feet. He frowns, tugs, pulls with increasing force.

The battle inside the hall has ended. Madam Yu comes to the doorway, looks at Wei Wuxian, at the courtyard, at Wen Zhuliu. "Core-Melting Hand?"

"Wen Zhuliu!" Wang Lingjiao screams from inside. "Wen Zhuliu, help -" her voice becomes muffled.

Wen Zhuliu's voice is cold. "Violet Spider."

Madam Yu snorts. "Wen Zhuliu? The Core-Melting Hand, wasn't your name Zhao Zhuliu? It certainly wasn't Wen. How shameful, to turn your back on your ancestors like this."

"Each serves his own master." He is looking as his feet, kicking hard. He only manages to pull one foot from his boot. After a moment's pause, he places it on top of the boot.

If he pulls the other free, he will be able to jump.

Wei Wuxian plays a particularly dissonant, piercing note.

Wen Zhuliu begins to sink. The water rushes over his bare foot, ripples above the surface where it touches his skin, eager to draw him in.

The water in the courtyard was only as deep as a puddle.

Wen Zhuliu has already sunk to his knees.

"Play, Wei Ying," Madam Yu says coldly.

She stands by him and watches as Wen Zhuliu sinks beneath the surface.

He does not scream. He does not plead. He does not say anything at all.

Wei Wuxian doesn't hate Wen Zhuliu, not really. Wen Zhuliu was a weapon; his hate is for those who wield him.

But Wen Zhuliu could not have been permitted to live.

> He really couldn't.
> 
> That ability is too, too dangerous, and his loyalty is apparently too easily won by the wrong people.

The ink-black water closes over his head.

The darkness fades, becomes clouds, becomes shadows, becomes clear water once again.

Wei Wuxian lowers Baohu.

Madam Yu raises her voice. "Summon the disciples. Everyone to arms. They came here prepared for this. Soon we'll have herds of them!" She turns to Wei Wuxian, and speaks very quietly. "Can you do that trick again?"

"Yes."

"For how many?"

He meets her eyes. "As many as they send."

She hesitates, for only a moment. "What did you do? Can he come back?"

"He's dead," Wei Wuxian says, because he's not sure they have time for him to explain, _I brought a waterborne abyss back from Gusu. I've never asked for a pet before, can I keep it?_

Or, for that matter, _if he does come back, he'll be working for me._

> Wei Wuxian does not bring Wen Zhuliu back, but he was absolutely willing to hold that option in reserve if he needed it.

"Good," Madam Yu says.

\---

They have more time to prepare for it. But still, the Wen attack.

Madam Yu fights with Zidian and her sword, fast and powerful, Jiang Cheng, Jinzhu and Yinzhu at her side.

Wei Wuxian stands on the walls of Lotus Pier, Baohu at his lips, Suibian under his feet. If the Wen threaten his position, he can fly to safety, but it doesn't actually happen. Lan Zhan guards him.

Shijie is protecting the children too young for the fight and the servants who cannot fight at all against cultivators.

The Wen who thought to approach by boat slip suddenly and irrevocably under the water.

The Wen who step in the lotus gardens, or the courtyards that are still awash, go under just as fast.

Before long they do try to avoid it, but there is water everywhere, and the Jiang Sect's strategy becomes to try and drive them into it, pushing them until it touches them, until it grasps at them greedily and swallows them. Darkness is everywhere, rising from the ink-black water like steam and coiling in the air.

The Jiang Sect suffer no harm from touching the water. The darkness does not touch them.

Wei Wuxian is dripping sweat.

Wen Chao is backing away from the battle. He looks confused and terrified at how badly this is going for the Wen. Perhaps he would fly away, but the dark swirls of power low overhead are too threatening.

Wei Wuxian concentrates. A tendril of dark energy twists in front of Jiang Cheng and darts like an arrow towards Wen Chao, fading away after a short distance. _Look, look, over there..._

Jiang Cheng nods, breaks free of the melee and charges towards him.

Wen Chao sees him, Sandu bloody and bright in his hand, and screams, and turns to run.

Wen Chao is the coddled son of Wen Ruohan, who has never lost a footrace because no-one in all of his sect would dare.

Jiang Cheng is the son of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu, who has always been pushed to strive, to be the very best he can be, and has been winning and losing footraces fairly in and around Lotus Cove all his life.

He catches Wen Chao with ease.

He disarms Wen Chao with ease.

He kills Wen Chao with ease.

> It's clear in the book that Wen Chao gets credit he doesn't deserve and expects people to let him win at competitive things.
> 
> There is no way he could beat Jiang Cheng in a fair contest at _anything_.

\---

There are no Wen survivors. Later, Wei Wuxian will learn that even Wang Lingjiao was killed; she broke out of the storeroom she was locked in (a hasty and inadequate prison), and ran out into the courtyard, heedless of the danger in the water.

Wei Wuxian can control the waterborne abyss enough to separate friend and foe. (There are no Wen bodies, either. Even Wen Chao got kicked back into the water and was swallowed without a trace, leaving only his sword behind.)

He cannot spare enough attention to see if the Wen surrender, does not even know if any of them tried; this, already, is very, very difficult. He can only do this because he loves the Jiang Sect and wants them safe, he cares for the people of Lotus Cove and wants them protected. He is not driving the waterborne abyss to attack, it will do that on its own. Baohu is singing the protection of those he loves, and Wei Wuxian is holding the waterborne abyss back from harming them.

> Several people were concerned about whether Wen Ning was part of the attack.
> 
> He wasn't. Wen Qing made sure of it.
> 
> Wen Qing is very, very intelligent, and very, very protective of her brother.
> 
> She's very much favoured by Wen Ruohan, and in this timeline, she's stuck a little closer to him than in the original, and kept Wen Ning close to Qishan too. This is because she's smart enough to know that trouble is brewing - the Wen have been too high-handed, too intolerable, she can _see_ the danger they're careening into with the indoctrination and the attack on the Cloud Recesses, there is _no way in hell_ she's letting A-Ning anywhere near an attack on another sect.
> 
> What she is doing is being sure to ingratiate herself with Wen Ruohan, being his pet healer and the perfect ornament to his sect, because she is forming a plan.
> 
> She will spy on Wen Ruohan, betray him utterly and with the same composure she does everything else, because she has met a young man named Wei Wuxian who is very well-connected to the Jiang, and the Lan, and even the Jin, and she intends to offer him a trade: intelligence on Wen Ruohan's plans, on the troop movements of the Wen, _everything_ , in exchange for her brother's life.
> 
> It was a risk - if she'd been caught, or even suspected, Wen Ruohan would have tortured her to death in the Fire Palace, and Wen Qing knows better than anyone alive just how terrible a fate that would be.
> 
> But the current state of affairs can't be permitted to continue. Too many people are suffering under Wen Ruohan - she knows that better than most, too. There's a war coming, and the Wen need to lose it.
> 
> And Wen Qing will do anything - _anything_ \- to keep her brother safe.

If he loses control, plays too hard, the abyss will not kill at all.

> He has learned.

When the sounds of the battle stop, when Lan Zhan sits by him and begins to play his guqin, he shifts the melody again, lulls the abyss back to sleep. _Rest, rest, sleep until I call you again._

Baohu sings of love and sorrow for the dead who created it, of solace, of peace, of slumbering beneath the waters.

The waters of Lotus Pier are clear and still again.

Wei Wuxian smiles as Madam Yu glides up to him, filled with spiritual power and alive, so _alive_. He thinks that he has never before noticed that she is so very beautiful.

He lowers Baohu.

And then the dizziness hits, and he hears Madam Yu and Lan Zhan say, in unison, "Wei Ying!" He wants to laugh, but he can't, because he's vomiting blood, he'd be falling but someone has already caught him. He sees dark red spattering on white. The last thought he has before he loses consciousness is just: _Lan Zhan._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skipping a whole bunch of chapters at this point because apparently I just can't not drop massive spoilers in the comments on most of them.

He wakes to the sound of two guqins and a xiao, playing the all-too familiar _Cleansing_ , and the feeling of a hand warm on his chest, pressing over his heart, pushing energy into shijie's protective array that wraps around him and through him, carrying it to every part of him, body, spirit and soul.

> Jiang Yanli's protective array wraps her love around his soul. Completely. And that keeps him safe.

He opens his eyes, and wonders if he is dreaming.

One of the guqins is being played by Lan Zhan, sitting to one side of him. The xiao is Lan Xichen, standing at the foot of the bed.

The other guqin is Lan Qiren, sitting right by his bedside, and the person who is sitting _on_ his bed, eyes closed in concentration, giving him spiritual energy faster than he knew was possible, is Madam Yu.

> Because she is actually very strong, when she _still has her golden core_ , and at this time, she would pour out her life to save the boy who just saved her whole family.

She senses the shift in his consciousness, and opens her eyes. The flow of energy slows, but does not stop.

"He's awake," she says quietly. Wei Wuxian sees Lan Zhan glance up, sees his relief, but the music does not stop. Madam Yu sighs at him. "Stupid boy," she says, and her tone is soft. "Do you know how worried we've been? Master Lan and Zewu-Jun dropped everything to come here." Her eyes are bright.

> Jiang Cheng is just like his mother; I think she, too, sometimes means love when what she says is, on the surface, aggressively insulting.

Wei Wuxian can hear a door opening, but can't see it past the people crowded around his bed.

"Mother, that's enough." It's shijie's voice, but it seems she doesn't mean enough of berating him, because shijie is taking Madam Yu's hand and lifting it away from Wei Wuxian's chest. "If you exhaust yourself completely, we will have two patients to consider."

> First notable sign: Jiang Yanli isn't, quite, actually _afraid_ of her mother; she's just a good girl who defers.

"As if I would, for him," Madam Yu sniffs, but she sways for a moment as shijie draws her away, and takes Uncle Jiang's hand, leans on it, just a little. Uncle Jiang smiles briefly at Wei Wuxian, and escorts his wife from the room.

> "I wouldn't, apart from how I very nearly did, pfft, that doesn't count."

Shijie takes her place on the bed, puts her hand to his chest.

Wei Wuxian wants to tell her that it's not necessary, that he's fine, but unconsciousness is calling him again.

> and this, Wei Wuxian, is why no-one listens to your opinions about your own health and wellbeing, it's still necessary

"Rest, A-Xian," she says. "Sleep."

He does.

\---

The next time he wakes, he feels much stronger. This time, it is only Jiang Cheng by his bedside, reading by the light of a few candles. He looks around when Wei Wuxian shifts.

> Jiang Cheng has been just as worried as everyone else, and has been sitting up with him every night.

"It's late," Jiang Cheng says quietly. "You look... less shit than you have been, lately."

"How long have I been..."

"Lying around uselessly and making everyone worry about you? Four days." Jiang Cheng glares. "And I have _suffered_ , Wei Wuxian. Did you know your fiance can't hold his liquor?"

> He has been fretting for four days, and therefore has built up a serious head of needing-to-yell-at-his-brother steam.

Wei Wuxian stares. "Who - _how_?"

> Look I amused myself writing this whole bit and I just hope I amused other people too.

"He's been worried. Very worried. And then third shidi put a cup in front of him and told him it was the only medicine for worry and that it's important to let go sometimes or else we can't be of use to the people we care about and apparently Lan Wangji thought this meant it was _actual medicine_ , and he drank it, and third shidi is on stable duty from now until the end of fucking time because Lan Wangji has as much alcohol tolerance as taste in men, and I am _scarred for life._ I hate you. Drink this. I'm under orders."

While making his speech, Jiang Cheng nonetheless has, with gentle hands, helped Wei Wuxian sit up, tucked more pillows behind him, and is now holding a cup of water to his lips.

Wei Wuxian drinks, then asks in horrified fascination: "What happened?"

"First, he passed out, and we thought that was the end of it," Jiang Cheng says, going over to the table to do something Wei Wuxian can't see. "But then he popped up again, and he was. So drunk." He turns back for a moment, and hisses, "One cup! One!"

He resumes. "Third shidi asked how he was feeling. And he answered. I can not tell you how much it pained me to hear Lan Wangji talking about his feelings. He was, by the way, terrified that you would die and then he would die because, and I quote, Wei Ying is his life. I nearly threw up. And then he started marching off _here_ , which was a place from which he had been specifically banished because he had been fretting at your bedside for _two fucking days_ , and we tried to hold him back, but did you know that he is also insanely strong? Because he is _insanely strong._ "

Jiang Cheng returns with a tray, carrying a bowl of broth. It smells like shijie's pork rib and lotus root soup, but all the meat and vegetables have been removed. "I am instructed," he growls, "that you are not to exert yourself to eat this. I will feed it to you. Like a baby. You are the baby. The terrible, asshole baby. If you resist these instructions, I am to _wake my mother._ I have been _told._ "

> I don't know why I love _You are the baby. The terrible, asshole baby._ as much as I do, but I really, really do.

Wei Wuxian blinks. "This disciple will not resist." The idea of Madam Yu being woken in the night on his behalf is _terrifying_.

"Good." Jiang Cheng does, in fact, feed him. The broth is warm, rather than hot, but still delicious. "So he turns up here, at your sickbed, where he's not supposed to be dragging me and third shidi and fourth shidi behind him _trying to hold him back_ and would you like to know who was here?"

Wei Wuxian cannot answer. Jiang Cheng is spoon-feeding him broth, his mouth is occupied.

"My _mother_ and _Master Lan Qiren_ were here. And _your future husband_ comes in, with both of them here, and pushes his own uncle aside to kneel by your bed and just. Stare at your face. Which was bad enough, but then Lan Qiren asked him what he was thinking, behaving in such a way, and then we, by which I mean me, and third shidi, and fourth shidi, and also Lan Qiren _and my mother_ got to hear Lan Wangji use _multiple entire sentences_ , and all of them were about how pretty you are and how much he loves you and how scared he was and how brave and heroic and clever he thinks you are."

Aww. Lan Zhan.

"And then!" Jiang Cheng is reaching an impressive crescendo for someone who is still, very carefully, spoon-feeding the recipient of his outrage. "Then, he crawled _onto the bed_ with you, and said it's nine, rest, and just... passed out! On your bed! I thought Lan Qiren was going to have some kind of collapse, and then my mother came out of the room and pulled me with her and I was worried I was going to be held responsible and she would _kill me dead_."

The bowlful of broth is finished. Wei Wuxian says meekly, "But she didn't? You don't _look_ dead."

Jiang Cheng huffs. "No. She laughed until she cried and said she was happy your betrothed was so truly _suitable_ a match for you. It was almost worse. And then third shidi and I carried him back to _his_ bed. Apparently he doesn't remember a thing, and no-one is telling him, but I need you to know that I have _suffered_. How are you feeling? Any dizziness? Nausea?"

Wei Wuxian blinks at the abrupt shift. "No, not at all."

Jiang Cheng glares at him, narrow-eyed, as if he doesn't believe him,

> Jiang Cheng is not an idiot, he knows better than to trust Wei Wuxian's claims about his health.

and finally grudgingly nods. "Then you may have more soup," he declares, "and this time you may have some meat. And then you will go back to sleep, and tomorrow the healers and my mother and Master Lan Qiren and Xichen will examine you, and they will decide if you will be allowed to do anything other than be a useless lump."

\---

He is indeed examined in the morning. He is poked and prodded and peered at, and then he is pronounced to be well on the road to recovery, but still forbidden any strenuous exertion, physical or spiritual.

Madam Yu then declares that she wishes to speak to him alone, and insists that everyone else leave the room. Jinzhu and Yinzhu follow the men outside and close the door.

Madam Yu sits in the chair by his bedside as if it were the throne of an empress. "Wei Ying," she says, in a commanding tone, "I have much to say, and I will ask you not to speak, but to listen, and remain silent until I leave the room. You are aware, I think, that the Meishan Yu are not the gentlest sect, in techniques."

> She has some things to say and cannot, at present, handle any discussion of them with him. She _has_ to tell him. What she did was a violation, and she has to tell him that she did it, it's the only step left towards fairness. But they're not talking about it.

He nods.

She smiles faintly. "Your spiritual energy was exhausted, and I was the very first to offer you mine. You were too weak to resist it when I read through your memory."

He chokes. She does not acknowledge his reaction at all.

"I will not apologise for it. You fought with us and for us, but you used techniques that _our_ Wei Ying could not know, and you did not seem, indeed, to be _our_ Wei Ying. I could not risk that I was allowing something into my home that could be a threat to my family." She chuckles humourlessly. "Imagine my surprise when I learned that you were very much our Wei Ying. Our Wei Ying who loved his family so much that it was not enough to be a hero, to be the husband of the most powerful man in the world, to be loved and admired and have surprising amounts of really quite terrible sex." She smirks _._ "We'll talk about that before your wedding. You will not thank me now or then. You will, I think, thank me later."

> I have heard rumours of translations in which it's not as bad but for real, in the translation I read, the sex scenes are appalling. MDZS is a great story that I enjoyed tremendously until Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian get together, and then it makes my skin crawl. (If you enjoyed it, then I'm not saying you're wrong - I have a hair-trigger aversion response to some things, personally. This version of Madam Yu just thought that it was awful.)

Wei Wuxian wonders if this is in fact, actually some kind of nightmare.

Madam Yu's expression becomes serious again. "Wei Ying could not live with the happiness he had, because the Jiang Cheng he loved was still heartbroken, and his shijie was still dead, and little Jin Ling had neither parents nor grandparents. And it twisted in his soul, and he wondered if perhaps, it was not too late to save the people for whom he had already sacrificed so much."

> It's really interesting to me some of the comments people have made suggesting why they think Wei Wuxian did it. So far, I think no-one has actually been correct.

"Do you know, Wei Ying, why my children disappoint me?" She raises a hand. "Do not guess. I know what you have thought. You are wrong." She looks steadily into his eyes. "A-Cheng disappoints me because he is my son, to his soul. He is to be the next Jiang Sect leader, and he is a Jiang in name but not in nature. He was born to be a Yu of Meishan, and he cannot be a Yu of Meishan."

Her fingers brush across Zidian. "The Yu Sect roam Meishan. We hunt, and we fight, and we kill if we must, and we do not attend the Lan Sect lectures at Cloud Recesses to learn their thousands of rules of proper cultivation. The Yu Sect do not deal in such things. Nothing is forbidden. Everything is permitted."

> So this.
> 
> The Yu Sect _roaming Meishan_ comes from a line in the book, in which Madam Yu says that the Yu _roam Meishan_ , which struck me as interesting, because the other sects all have these very settled, definite headquarters, they don't _roam_.
> 
> And then I was looking at one of the nominal maps of the cultivation world that are online and the area of Meishan appears to be _huge_ , and by rights, the Yu should be another one of the elite sects, but they pretty much _don't appear_ in the narrative outside of the existence of Madam Yu. So clearly they are _not like other sects_.
> 
> And then, somehow, I hit the _not attending the Lan Sect lectures to learn their rules_ and then found myself thinking CLEARLY THEY ARE ASSASSINS. NOTHING IS FORBIDDEN, EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.
> 
> I'm not sure I'll ever write it but somewhere in me there's at least the seed of an AU where catastrophe strikes the Yu of Meishan and Madam Yu has to go home, and she takes Jiang Cheng with her. Tells Jiang Fengmian "you like Wei Ying so much, make him your heir" and takes her son to Meishan. ~~Jiang~~ Yu Cheng becomes a great Assassin, and probably ends up killing a bunch of Wen and also Jin Guangshun, for great justice.

A soft sigh. "Yanli disappoints me because she is her father's daughter, not mine. She is too gentle. She lacks ambition. If her loved ones are safe, and well, and happy, that is sufficient for her. Yanli disappoints me for all the reasons that we love her."

> The things that always seem to upset her about Jiang Yanli are how much she takes care of other people, and loves her brothers, and is too easily content.

She puts her hand on his shoulder. "And then, Wei Ying, there is you. You disappoint me because you are _not_ my son."

He stares at her. How does that even make sense?

Madam Yu rolls her eyes, and for a moment, he sees Jiang Cheng, the Jiang Cheng of his second life, the age that she is now. "I will explain. I didn't think you'd understand, idiot boy." Her tone is fonder than her words. "You are a true Jiang. You attempt the impossible without hesitation. You could also be Yu. You see the world not by what is permitted and what is forbidden, but by what is right, and what is wrong. You protect the innocent, and punish the guilty. If you were my son, you could have been the next leader of the Jiang Sect, and made it greater, and freed Jiang Cheng of his burden. Or you could have returned to Meishan, and learned what only the Yu can teach, and remade the world for the better."

> And once you start at the _nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted_ you continue to the way Wei Wuxian embodies both ideas.

She brushes his hair back, with a tenderness he would have thought it impossible that she could ever show to him. "But you are not my son." She stands, and turns away from him. "Wei Ying," she says, "is the son of Zangse Sanren, who was my... beloved friend. But she married Wei Changze, who is the father of Wei Ying, and who was Jiang Fengmian's closest companion, whom _he_ loved."

> ps Jiang Cheng ur parents r gay
> 
> And okay. Here's where we're getting _that_.
> 
> This is the canon background to their relationship, as I'm parsing it.
> 
> _The entirety of the cultivation world knew that third lady Yu had cultivated together with Jiang FengMian when they were young. Jiang FengMian’s character was gentle, yet Yu ZiYuan’s personality was harsh. The two didn’t share too many interactions. Thus, although their backgrounds matched, nobody associated the two as a pair._
> 
> So... everyone knows they knew each other when they were younger, kinda, but... they didn't actually seek each other out, and didn't seem to be well-matched, and nobody had any sense that they liked each other.
> 
> _Later, ZangSe SanRen came from the mountains, passed by Yunmeng, and happened to become friends with Jiang FengMian. They had even night-hunted together on multiple occasions. Both thought highly of each other. People supposed that it was very likely for ZangSe SanRen to become the next mistress of Lotus Pier._
> 
> So, all the gossipmongers leapt on this, but we still have no real evidence of anything? And what we _also_ know is that this _whole time_ Wei Changze was also with Jiang Fengmian at _every_ moment. He _never left Jiang Fengmian's side_ , after all.
> 
>   
>  _However, soon afterward, the MeishanYu Sect proposed an alliance through marriage to the YunmengJiang Sect._  
>  _The leader of the Jiang Sect back then was quite interested, but Jiang FengMian had no such intentions. He didn’t like Yu ZiYuan’s conduct and felt that the two wouldn’t be an appropriate match. He had politely refused the offer a handful of times. However, the MeishanYu Sect set about multiple factors, putting pressure on Jiang FengMian, who was at the time still fairly young and had nothing to lean on. Along with the fact that, not long later, ZangSe SanRen had become cultivation partners with the most loyal servant at Jiang FengMian’s side, Wei ChangZe, and rode off into the sunset, roaming around the world, Jiang FengMian finally gave up._
> 
> So... Madam Yu's _sect_ wanted her to marry Jiang Fengmian. That doesn't mean she did.
> 
>   
>  _Although Jiang and Yu were married, they had ever since been a grudging couple. They had always been living apart and held the most disagreeable of conversations. Aside from the strengthening of their sect’s powers, nobody knew what other benefits they had attained._
> 
> And we have absolutely zero evidence that _either_ of them ever liked the other very much. And meanwhile, Madam Yu has _plenty_ of venom when it comes to Wei Changze - Wei Wuxian is, after all, _the son of a servant_ \- but never actually any for his mother. If she was jealous of Zangse Sanren because she thought _Jiang Fengmian_ was interested in her in some way, you'd think there'd be some hatred there too.

Her head bows. "I know," she says softly, "that you love Wangji very much. I think, perhaps, that you can understand. I know that when you died, he loved and cared for your A-Yuan better than I have loved and cared for you. Perhaps he would have found it more difficult, if you had chosen A-Yuan's mother instead of him. Perhaps not. Wangji is kinder than I am."

> Madam Yu has acquired painful amounts of self-awareness lately.

Wei Wuxian feels dizzy.

Madam Yu continues. "I would not dishonour your mother's memory by claiming her son as my own. You are hers. You will always be hers. I... regret, Wei Ying, that you felt so much of my jealousy. You are the product of a union I have never truly forgiven, but that was not your choice."

> This is very specifically not an apology, for complex reasons.

She turns back, and their are tears on her cheeks, even though her voice is even, and her expression composed. "I thank you, Wei Ying, for all that you have done for my family."

She kneels, and bows, touching her forehead to the floor, and then turns and leaves without another word.

> This whole scene has very little reaction from Wei Wuxian, because she just blew his mind, basically, on multiple levels. It's _years_ before he's going to start to internalise any of this.

\---

Wei Wuxian does not exert himself unduly. He goes boating, but Lan Zhan rows. He picks lotus pods, and piously declares that he needs them to regain his strength. He heckles the juniors as they shoot kites, and takes naps, and lets Lan Zhan bring him snacks and pet his hair, and generally indulges in total and utter idleness, and enjoys the general approval for doing so.

His strength returns rapidly.

He is brought for a discussion of his own with Lan Xichen. Lan Zhan comes with him; Lan Zhan has not wanted to be more than arm's length from him since his recent illness. Wei Wuxian supposes it was quite a worrying episode.

"I need to talk to you about what happened," Lan Xichen says. "Do you know why you collapsed?"

"Over-exertion," Wei Wuxian shrugs.

"Not quite." Even Lan Xichen isn't smiling, which is worrying. "I see what you meant when you said you stole the waterborne abyss from Caiyi. The application of it was... interesting. Curiously, while you clearly used resentful energy in the course of your work, the ultimate result is the suppression of the abyss itself, and you avoided the harm to the spirit that is usually expected as a result of demonic cultivation. While your spiritual cognition shows some evidence of past use, there was no new trauma. Uncle and I are in... disagreement, let us say, about whether your actions were heretical. I have allowed him to believe that the prior damage was probably sustained during your encounter with the Xuanwu of Slaughter."

> lolol.
> 
> Lan Qiren remains _not a bad person_ , but he's a Lan to his soul, and they're not really amenable to change. Look how long it took Lan Zhan originally, when he very clearly _desperately wanted_ to go against his training.
> 
> In this timeline Lan Zhan's doing better at that because he has a lot more incentive to rationalise it already, anyway, but Wei Wuxian is at this point still treading a very careful line.

He does smile faintly now. "A-Cheng, Wangji, and Jin Zixuan have not been examined for such damage, as it is a difficult and invasive process, unless the person to be examined is already in a coma with their spiritual energy depleted almost to the point of death, so this conclusion is theoretical, but it will do to keep Uncle at bay for now."

> For you.

Wei Wuxian frowns at Zewu-Jun and squeezes Lan Zhan's hand. Reminders that Wei Wuxian nearly died of something always upset him, and Lan Zhan is extremely distraught right now.

> in which Wei Wuxian thinks the problem is that people keep reminding Lan Zhan that he nearly died, _not that he keeps nearly dying_

"What Wangji, Jiang-guniang, Madam Yu and I have concluded is that the protective array Jiang-guniang gives you is very effective, but presents a risk of its own. It was, I understand, depleted when you were... suppressing... the waterborne abyss in Gusu. On this occasion, it was not. Would I be correct in assuming that you used your own spiritual energy to sustain it?"

"Yes," Wei Wuxian says. "Shijie is very good, but there are limits to how much power she can put into an array, especially one applied to a human body."

> What she's doing is already borderline impossible, but hey she's a Jiang.

"As I thought." Lan Xichen sighs. "Wuxian. I am aware that you have not previously been able to combine normal cultivation with demonic, and you are perhaps still learning. You are a very strong cultivator for your physical age, but you do have limitations. You cannot sustain that power indefinitely either. There will be a war, and you will, I know, be fighting it. You _must_ maintain awareness of the power you expend. The evidence of your prior existence suggests strongly that the damage caused to your spirit by demonic cultivation is largely recoverable, perhaps even more so now that you retain your golden core. It is a lesser price to pay than your life. If you _must_ use demonic cultivation - and I would prefer that to be your last resort - maintain a balance in the use of your spiritual energy."

> Xichen is both wrong and right here. The damage is not wholly recoverable, but it is possible to mitigate it. There's still an extent to which Wei Wuxian's soul is currently functionally patched together with duct tape.

"Zewu-Jun..." Wei Wuxian hesitates. "I am currently required to expend a great deal of power to do difficult things like that. There could be a way that I could make it... easier, and it -"

"The Stygian Tiger Seal," Lan Xichen cuts him off. "I remember. Do you have the Stygian sword?"

"I do, yes." Wei Wuxian does _not_ clutch at the warded Qiankun pouch he carries.

Lan Xichen nods. "When you made that, you were in the Yiling Burial Mounds. You were hurried, and I think, quite desperate, and far less knowledgeable than you are now."

"I suppose."

"You were also alone." Lan Xichen does smile now. "Perhaps, this time, we can do better."

\---

Wei Wuxian declines Lan Xichen's offer to work with him on the new Stygian Tiger Seal. He reminds him that they are in the home of Madam Yu, who carries Zidian, an heirloom of the Meishan Yu.

He speaks to Madam Yu. She understands immediately.

She sends him to Meishan.

\---

Lan Wangji accompanies Wei Ying on the journey to Meishan, not least in case the flight should risk straining his spiritual energy. On the journey, Wei Ying explains that they are going to visit an Elder of the Meishan Yu.

They land at one of the most beautiful houses Lan Wangji has ever seen, and are greeted by a woman who looks no older than Madam Yu herself. Lan Wangji realises that she must be a very powerful cultivator indeed.

> There's some stuff in the book about cultivational power resulting in the preservation of youth.

"Xiao-Ying!" she exclaims. "How kind of you to visit this ancient and decrepit woman, who withers away in the darkness without the sunlight of her grandchildren. Who is your handsome friend?"

"Popo, this is Lan Zhan, courtesy name Wangji," Wei Ying says. He goes to bow, but she slaps his hand.

"Ah! A Lan! One of the Twin Jades, yes?" She narrows her eyes. "Are you here to tell me all the things I'm doing that are forbidden?"

"No, Madam." Lan Zhan bows deeply.

> lan zhan: not taking the not-bowing hint

"Popo."

Lan Zhan blinks, and looks questioningly at Wei Ying.

"Call her popo," Wei Ying whispers. "It's... it's a rule. It is forbidden to call popo anything but popo."

Lan Zhan blinks, and nods slowly, and turns back. While he would consider it improper to address such a person so informally, if this is a rule, he will obey it. "This disciple is honoured to meet you... popo." He bows.

She looks at Wei Ying. Wei Ying shrugs helplessly.

"Of all my kin, xiao-Ying, you are the only one who would even _think_ to marry a Lan. Don't look at me like that, it's obvious, don't even bother. Now, you did not come to see popo on the eve of war just for the sake of my happiness. Why are you here?"

> yeah about that only one who'd marry a Lan thing

Wei Ying tells her.

\---

She takes them to one of the outbuildings, some kind of workshop. Lan Wangji watches Madam Popo examine the Stygian sword in Wei Ying's hands. She does not touch it.

"You're playing with fire, xiao-Ying," she says. "You know I won't stop you, but I hope you do know the risks."

"I know, popo," Wei Ying says quietly, looking down.

She frowns, and lifts his chin with one finger. "Eyes," she says sharply.

Wei Ying meets her gaze, and Lan Wangji feels a strange ripple in the air.

"Yes, I see that you do. A Tiger Seal, but you couldn't quite control it." She sighs. "I won't ask you why you did it, or what happened after that. You have a good heart, xiao-Ying, I'm sure you meant well." She frowns. "Now, I want to be very clear, why did you come to me?"

Lan Wangji knows the answer to this. He can make a contribution. "Madam Yu carries Zidian. The Yu Sect's expertise in magical weapons is evident. We hoped to ask advice from such an artisan."

> He is Making A Contribution

Madam Popo looks at him for a long moment, then turns back to Wei Ying. Wei Ying, unaccountably, grins, and says, "I know. It's adorable."

> _he's so fucking **earnest**_ , is the thing that is blowing their minds

Madam Popo laughs, a bright, joyful sound. "It really is." She turns back to Lan Wangji. "You are asking advice from such an artisan, xiao-Lan. I made Zidian."

> The question of who made Zidian, what's the backstory to that amazing thing? Is the genesis of this character.

Lan Wangji doesn't quite follow the conversation from there. The two of them finish each other's sentences, working through ideas they both seem to understand implicitly.

"Now, xiao-Ying, the problem -"

"- is control, yes, but at the same time -"

"- you can't weaken... but maybe since you lost -"

"- right, right, but it still could be a matter of temperament... What about -"

"- no, it draws too much power to bind solely to its master, even if it can still know -"

> Zidian can respond only to its master and those its master has given permission because it draws its power _from_ the user. The Stygian Tiger Seal... doesn't, entirely.
> 
> The net result is that other people _can_ make the Stygian Tiger Seal do things... but it has far, far less power, and is likely to be _incredibly_ dangerous for anyone who uses it against its will.

He doesn't follow. The conversation is chaotic. Wei Ying sketches something on a piece of paper. Madam Popo tsks at it and makes adjustments. They argue using words Lan Wangji understands, separately, but the way they are using them, not at all. They both make more notes on the paper, until it is incomprehensible, and Madam Popo draws a new sketch. More discussion, and more notes and adjustment. New sketches.

It takes hours.

Lan Wangji waits patiently, watching Wei Ying work, bright and brilliant. Wei Ying is Lan Wangji's betrothed, he thinks, and Wei Ying is magnificent. Lan Wangji is certain he will never tire of watching Wei Ying - the way he moves, the way he smiles, the wonderful range of his moods. The way he holds his brush, applying ink to paper with an air of careless haste, yet his sketches are precise and beautiful.

> Lan Zhan: sure, I'm sitting here for hours being ignored with nothing to do, but obviously I'm not bored, how could I be bored when I can watch Wei Ying being amazing

Finally, they appear to have reached some kind of agreement.

"You trust him that much?" Madam Popo asks.

Wei Ying nods. "I do, popo. Always."

"Very well." She looks at Lan Wangji. "You. What would you do, what would you give, for xiao-Ying?"

> Not that it would change his answers, but these questions are a _lot_ more serious than Lan Zhan realises.
> 
> Popo, as a character, draws quite a bit on European ideas of magic. Chinese cultural traditions _probably_ have something similar, but I don't know for sure.
> 
> Essentially: don't say things you don't mean to a witch. Popo is deciding how this is going to work, and _everything has a price_.

"Anything." Madam Popo has asked many questions of Wei Ying that Lan Wangji would be unable to answer. Lan Wangji is relieved that his question is a very easy one.

"Anything at all?" Her eyes narrow. "Your fortune?"

"Yes."

"Your life?"

"Yes."

"Your heart, your soul?"

Lan Wangji frowns. This one is difficult. "Cannot give what already belongs to Wei Ying."

> He means this. To him, this is simple honesty.
> 
> If he'd been lying, this could have gone _very_ badly for him.

"Ahh, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying falls forward onto the table, hiding his face.

Madam Popo smiles.

"All right, xiao-Ying," she says. "This could work."

\---

"I need jade from Gusu," Madam Popo says. "Preferably something you've carried for a while, already, something you care about."

Wei Ying sighs, and begins detaching the jade charm from Baohu. "Is this enough?" he asks.

"Yes." Madam Popo looks at Lan Wangji. "And you. What do you have that is part of who you are, that you carry with you, that you love? Not your sword. Something that has meaning that isn't just a weapon."

Lan Wangji pulls out his guqin. "This?"

> The guqin named _Wangji_ , because it is an extension of himself. The thing that _is a part of_ him.
> 
> She just asked you about what you'd sacrifice for him, Lan Zhan.
> 
> This is the point where you prove it.

"Perfect. Put it on the table."

He does so.

"You probably don't want to watch this part," she says, and then -

Madam Popo was correct.

Lan Wangji would have preferred not to watch her take a hammer and slam it into his guqin and shatter it utterly. He would have preferred not to hear the scream of snapping strings. He will not begrudge this loss, not for Wei Ying, but it hurts to see such a thing -

\- is still there, intact, on the bench. He can still see the shattered fragments, but they are translucent, insubstantial, and his guqin is still there, solid and real, without even a scratch.

> Because the guqin itself is not the point, here. It's the symbol. The guqin is him, the guqin is all his love, his power, what he _can_ be - and neither he nor the guqin is lesser for it, but.

"You can put it away now," she tells him, and her tone is not unkind.

Lan Wangji picks it up with careful, frightened reverence, plucks a few notes.

It seems exactly as it was before.

Lan Wangji looks at Wei Ying. Wei Ying looks pale, and asks the question Lan Wangji cannot find the words for.

"What did you do? What just happened?"

Madam Popo is picking through the translucent things that look like shards of a shattered guqin. "Perfection happened," she says cheerfully. "It's part of who he is, and it's a powerful weapon, but it's also a tool of healing and protection. It means the world to him, and he really wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice it for you. Didn't even regret it when he thought he saw me smash the thing." She holds up one of the fragments. Lan Wangji feels faintly unwell looking at it. "I didn't, of course, it's not even scratched."

> Doesn't need to be.

"Then what are these?" Wei Ying peers closely at the mess on the desk, looking fascinated. Lan Wangji knows that Wei Ying has a strong stomach, but this seems excessive.

"These are... echoes, of a sort. Of willingness, and of the love and power he's already put into the instrument."

> These are... he said he'd be willing to give his soul for Wei Ying.
> 
> She's just taken that - the willingness, and possibly, a little piece of his soul (a piece he can spare, a piece that will grow back) and is using that to bind the Stygian Tiger Seal.

She sets a few pieces aside, and brush the rest from the table with a sweep of her arm. They fade into the air, and the ones on the table darken and become nearly opaque.

Wei Ying puts the jade charm on the table hesitantly.

"And now we can work," Madam Popo says.

\---

It takes two nights and a day. They work non-stop. At nine each evening, Lan Wangji is waved towards a doorway, behind which he finds a pleasant, quiet, and well-appointed chamber, with a bed, and a table set with tea and a modest meal, fresh and hot. He can't even hear the sound of hammering that is so frequent and pervasive in the workshop.

Lan Wangji frets about Wei Ying staying awake for so long, but Wei Ying's mouth twists in a way he doesn't like and he says, "I've done it before. This is easier."

> than having your golden core removed? you don't say

The item that results is... intricate. An iron tiger seal, quite delicate and beautiful, inlaid with dark shadow, and jade eyes that seem to glow when they catch the light.

> The power is bound into the jade and into the pieces of Lan-Zhan's-love-made-manifest. Because this draws too much external power to be locked solely to its master like Zidian, it _can_ be used by others - but it will be limited, weak, resistant, and it _will_ answer the call of Wei Ying, or it will sleep for Lan Zhan.

"It is a tool of great power," Madam Popo says. "It will work to your command, and know its master. It will roar for you, xiao-Ying." She looks at Lan Wangji. "And for you, xiao-Lan, xiao-Zhan, the beautiful boy who gave his heart and soul away in the moonlight - for you, it will come back, come home, it will sleep."

"If I lose control," Wei Ying says quietly, "you can stop it. You can stop me. You can stop it all."

Lan Wangji looks at Madam Popo. "Will that hurt Wei Ying?"

> Lan Zhan isn't saying he'd let the world burn rather than hurt Wei Ying, but he isn't NOT saying that

"Sweet boy," she says, and beckons, and without even a thought, he bends to her. She kisses his forehead, above his ribbon, and it feels like a benediction. "No, xiao-Zhan," she murmurs. "It will not hurt Wei Ying. The power I give you is for his protection."

\---

They leave Meishan. Lan Wangji insists on carrying them both on Bichen, as Wei Ying is still in recovery, and has not slept.

Truly it is for that reason. The opportunity to hold Wei Ying close in his arms for the duration of the journey is a cherished bonus.

"She always complains about not being visited enough," Wei Ying tells him. "If you're passing that place, it's good to go stop by. If she doesn't want to see you, for whatever reason, you won't find her house no matter how long you look."

"Who is she?" Lan Wangji asks.

Wei Ying smiles. "Popo." He laughs at Lan Wangji's expression. "Once upon a time, there was an Immortal who reached enlightenment. Unlike some, she did not draw away from the world entirely, nor did she take disciples. She built a house, that was exactly as she wanted it, and she did not leave. Her children visited her there, as did the children of her children, and as each generation passed, she grieved, but still welcomed the next, and was always their popo."

> Because Baoshan Sanren can't be the only Immortal in the world.


	11. Chapter 11

At Lotus Pier, Lan Zhan insists that Wei Wuxian rest immediately, in his determinedly obstinate way that's pointless to argue against.

When he wakes, late in the morning, he notices an odd bustle is taking place. There are dozens of people in Gusu Lan uniforms around, and they, alongside the Jiang Sect disciples, appear to be cleaning.

> Wei Wuxian doesn't think about it any more than that, because he can be kind of oblivious sometimes and at this point is just kind of running on the assumption that he kind of knows what's going on with stuff, because he totally lived this before! He doesn't have to think about things!

Madam Yu finds him and stops him to examine him critically. "Do those clothes still fit properly? You haven't grown lately, have you?" She frowns. "You have, a little. Honestly, Wei Ying, must you always be so inconvenient?"

She strides away.

He finds Lan Zhan out on the pier, playing his guqin in the sunlight. "Still working?" Wei Wuxian asks.

"I cannot sense a difference," Lan Zhan replies. "I am merely practicing."

Wei Wuxian considers joining him, but the piece Lan Zhan is playing isn't one he knows - a soaring, joyful thing that teases maddeningly at his memory, almost but not quite familiar.

> Yeah, it's totally _WangXian: The Not Actually Pining Remix_.

Wei Wuxian sprawls in the sunlight and listens, watching Lan Zhan's hands move across the strings and the small, soft smile on his face.

Late in the afternoon, shijie finds them. By then Lan Zhan is meditating, poised and still, and Wei Wuxian is dozing with his head in Lan Zhan's lap.

Shijie has a strange air of urgency. "A-Xian, Wangji," she says, slightly breathless. "You are very, very sure about getting married?"

> Shijie assumes that they're going to get married _eventually_ , but she's going to make sure they're not being rushed before they're ready. They're nominally a couple of years too young for it, and just because they were together before doesn't mean they're ready yet now.

"Mn," says Lan Zhan.

"Of course," says Wei Wuxian sleepily.

"Good," shijie says, and leaves.

\---

The next morning, Jiang Cheng comes to wake him before breakfast with his usual gentle delicacy.

"Up, up," he says loudly, yanking the covers away. "Your presence is required at the breakfast. Lazy! So lazy! Our guests must think the Jiang Sect has no standards at all!"

> _gentle delicacy_

Wei Wuxian barely has time to dress before Jiang Cheng is pulling him by the collar, half asleep and stumbling, and all but throws him into the main hall.

"I brought him, he's here," Jiang Cheng grumbles. "Can we eat now?"

"We can eat," Madam Yu allows.

Wei Wuxian blinks, yawning, and looks around the table. It's unusually full. Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu and shijie and Jiang Cheng, of course, and Lan Zhan, but Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren are there, and he'd thought Lan Qiren had returned to Gusu.

And around the hall, the lesser tables are also filled with Jiang and Lan Sect disciples. The breakfast is more elaborate than usual.

He digs in.

> Wei Wuxian literally not noticing he's attending his own wedding breakfast

The meal is quiet, perhaps in deference to the Lan guests.

Afterwards, the dishes are cleared away briskly, but at the main table, no-one is dismissed.

Jiang Fengmian stands and addresses them.

"In three days, we leave for the council of war," he says. "This will be a war such as none of us here have ever seen. There will be great danger, and great sorrow. None of us can know what the future holds."

 _Well_ , Wei Wuxian thinks, _not_ all _of the future._

"And so," Jiang Fengmian continues, "it is important to secure the joys we can. We have prepared some gifts."

"First," Madam Yu says, "A-Cheng."

She stands, and moves to her son. Jiang Cheng scrambles to his feet.

"I have always been strict with you, A-Cheng," she says, "because I have always believed you capable of greatness, and could never have been satisfied if you failed to achieve it." He flushes slightly. "You are called upon to go to war." She takes his hand, and Jiang Cheng gasps as she slides Zidian onto his finger. "Come home in glory," she says. "But come home."

> Because _with your shield or on it_ is for quitters.

She returns to her seat, and Jiang Cheng sits again as if his knees have gone weak.

Jiang Fengmian and Lan Xichen step away from the table to collect two large, lacquered wooden boxes. Jiang Fengmian presents his to Wei Wuxian, and Lan Xichen to Lan Zhan.

"Open them," Madam Yu commands.

Lan Zhan obeys promptly, and Wei Wuxian hears his slight intake of breath. As he lifts the lid of his own box, he understands why.

Inside are silk robes, lustrous and embroidered. A delicate pattern of white clouds and purple lotus.

On red.

"We thought," Lan Xichen says, "that it would be appropriate to complete the bond between our clans."

The robes are red.

"It will, sadly, be less of a celebration than we might have hoped," Jiang Fengmian says. "But it will be a celebration, nonetheless."

The robes are red.

"Thank you," Lan Zhan says hoarsely.

"Yes," Wei Wuxian hears himself say. "Thank you."

The robes are _red_.

Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu are saying things to shijie. There's some kind of movement. He has no idea what it is.

> It was battle robes, if you're wondering.
> 
> Silk can actually be used to make extremely effective armour if you layer it. (So can paper, but these are silk.)

The robes in the box look beautiful. The embroidery is fine, and the fabric is flawless.

They are also red.

> losing his damn mind.

\---

As he leaves the hall, Wei Wuxian sees the Jiang and Lan disciples are polishing the woodwork around Lotus Pier and decorating the courtyards. If there is a single pretty flower left in Lotus Cove, Wei Wuxian will be very surprised.

"It's rushed, but the Sect Leaders agreed that the alliance should be secured before the campaign begins," Jiang Cheng says, taking the box (of red robes) from his hands. Wei Wuxian wants to object, but Jiang Cheng glares. "Go bathe, you don't want to stink at your wedding."

Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng, Zidian on his finger, glaring at him, and feels his face do something. He's not sure what it is, but Jiang Cheng says, "Hey, wait," and shifts the box (of red robes) to balance awkwardly with one arm and grabs Wei Wuxian's shoulder roughly. "I'm happy for you, okay? I mean," he clears his throat, "at least if you're married your shameless behaviour won't reflect so poorly on us. I just." Jiang Cheng looks at the ground. "I didn't think that - I thought - I mean, I knew we'd be getting rid of you eventually, I just thought it would take longer, so it's a pretty exciting day."

> MANY FEELINGS TODAY.

Wei Wuxian feels a tear slip down his cheeks, because _Jiang Cheng_ , and this time the thing his face does is smile, which is much more familiar. "Jiang Cheng, even if I'm married, you're never truly going to be rid of me. You and me, we will always meet."

Jiang Cheng's head is still down, but he looks up at Wei Wuxian through suspiciously wet lashes. "Promise?" he asks softly.

"I promise." This kind of sincerity is unnatural to both of them, and this moment needs to be ruined or he'll be a sobbing mess, so Wei Wuxian adds, "If you call for me, your da shixiong will run to you."

"You!" Jiang Cheng says, and shoves at his shoulder, but he's grinning as he turns away.

\---

After Wei Wuxian bathes and dresses in a simple house robe, before he dresses in his new (red) robes, Madam Yu comes to see him.

"Wei Ying," she says, smiling in a way he is certain is evil. "I was grieved to realise how badly I failed you. There are things you should have had the chance to know, if only I had had the chance to tell you. But I cannot blame myself, of course. I died." Her smile widens. "But on this occasion, I live. I am so _grateful._ And now we shall talk." She takes a seat with perfect elegance. "I have already spoken with Wangji," she adds, horrifyingly. "He took notes."

> Nie Huaisang would kill for a copy of those notes and you know it.

She is between him and the door. Yinzhu and Jinzhu will be outside it. One may even be outside the window.

> escape routes have been cut off

There is, he realises, no escape. He is going to have to hear Madam Yu talk about sex.

Wei Wuxian reminds himself that he was once the Yiling Patriarch, who inspired terror across the cultivation world. He was once a person who could threaten to kill a Sect Leader's nephew in a room full of people knowing no-one would dare try to stop him. He was also a married man, and famously shameless, and known not to shy away from discussions of marital activity.

It doesn't seem to help, because _Madam Yu_.

\---

Her talk is detailed, explicit, and sometimes pitying. Wei Wuxian can't remember ever blushing this much, and imagines that the enemies, friends, and Jiang Cheng of his second life would be finding this _hilarious_.

But he does pay attention, because if she thinks he isn't, she goes back to the beginning.

At the end, she pats his shoulder and says, "It could have been worse. I could have asked Jiang Fengmian to tell you directly. He has more... personal experience. A long time ago now, before your father left, of course."

> ps wei wuxian ur adoptive dad is gay

Wei Wuxian stares.

And then she sweeps out, and Yinzhu and Jinzhu enter.

"We are here to do your hair," Jinzhu says.

Yinzhu holds up a razor-sharp comb that looks like it could be used to kill a man. "Hold very still."

> Looks like it could be used to kill a man because it definitely could be and probably has been. (Don't worry, it's been cleaned very thoroughly.)

\---

He is faintly surprised that having his hair combed and styled by Yinzhu and Jinzhu is entirely painless.

> He shouldn't be. They are very, very good at what they do, and that list does include "being personal maids".

The glare he receives if he even thinks about fidgeting feels like it _should_ leave some kind of mark, but it does not.

When at last they are satisfied, they each hold up a mirror, so he can see what it looks like.

"It's beautiful," he says, because it is. They nod in unison, in a way that seems to suggest less that they are pleased with his praise, and more that they consider it to be acceptable that he is capable of recognising perfection when he sees it.

His hair is drawn high into a stunning gold headpiece, fixed with jade hair sticks. It cascades smoothly down, not a hair out of place, and is ornamented through with fine, amethyst-studded gold to exactly the degree that is stunning without reaching a tasteless level of ostentation.

His hand moves fractionally, and Jinzhu catches his wrist. "Do _not_ touch it," she says.

"We will know," Yinzhu adds.

"We will return when you are dressed," Jinzhu finishes, and they leave without further fanfare.

They are immediately replaced by Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan.

"When - what?" Wei Wuxian blurts without thinking. He is having a very difficult day, with many shocks, and Surprise People is unfair.

> Today is a lot okay

Nie Huaisang laughs softly, and Jin Zixuan rolls his eyes. "This morning," Jin Zixuan says. "Of course, representatives from our sects were invited, even on notice as short as this. Our Sect Leaders are busy preparing for war. Do you think the Jiang and Lan sects would be disrespected by their sending anyone but us?"

> However rushed, the invitations were important, because this marriage would, if nothing else, be _super scandalous_ if they weren't making a big deal about it being _very political, the cementing of alliance before the outbreak of war_. Not just because they're in love.

"And as we are your friends, we offered to come and help you dress," Nie Huaisang says. "It is so wonderful that you are to marry, Wei-xiong. It is my honour to be here."

Wei Wuxian can't help himself. "We're friends now?" He looks at Jin Zixuan, who looks straight ahead.

"If Wei-gongzi is willing," he says simply.

"Answer one question," Wei Wuxian says.

"Ask."

"Do you think my hair looks pretty?" He bats his eyelashes, because if this is too much, then friendship with Jin Zixuan will never work. He can see Jiang Cheng glaring, although he's not sure if it's even at anyone in particular. Jiang Cheng is glaring generally.

> Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian in the same room is going to be a whole lot of glaring for Jiang Cheng.

Jin Zixuan looks at his hair. He even walks a circuit around Wei Wuxian, before returning to position and nodding.

"Your hair is the second-most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he says gravely.

"And what, then, is first?" Nie Huaisang blatantly feeds him the line.

> Nie Huaisang is here for the theatre.

Jin Zixuan smiles. "Jiang-guniang, of course."

Oh, he is getting _much_ better at this. Wei Wuxian grins. "Then yes, Zixuan. We can be friends."

\---

Nie Huaisang, it turns out, has strong opinions about matters of dress, particularly on such a special occasion. So does Jin Zixuan.

Every time Wei Wuxian moves to adjust something, Nie Huaisang raps him on the knuckles with his fan.

The division of labour is clear. Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan will dress him, and arrange every part of his clothing with extreme precision according to some vision they seem to share. Wei Wuxian will hold very still, moving only as and when they instruct him to.

> Look the Jin are very into ridiculous attention to their styling, and Nie Huaisang is, well, _Nie Huaisang_.

Jiang Cheng will loiter to the side and laugh at his suffering.

The robes are heavy and warm. He is sternly informed that he is not permitted to sweat. Nie Huaisang is kind enough to fan him, and instructs Jiang Cheng to open the window.

It takes a very long time. Even when Wei Wuxian thinks they are finished, and Jiang Cheng lets Yinzhu and Jinzhu back into the room to correct the damage done to his hair by the changing of his clothes, Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan are still fussing over his robes.

"It's nearly time," Jiang Cheng says. Wei Wuxian is pulled to his feet. Jinzhu and Yinzhu frown at some disturbance that the movement has apparently caused, and do something to his hair.

"Adequate," Jinzhu says.

"We must return to our lady," Yinzhu says.

Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang make a number of final adjustments to the drape of his robes and the precise set of his sash as Jiang Fengmian comes in. He is wearing new robes, very fine, rich in the colours of the Jiang Sect.

"A-Ying," he says, eyes shining. "You look good." He clears his throat. "I have been so very busy lately, we have not had a chance to talk."

Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Jin Zixuan hastily bow and go to wait outside.

"Uncle Jiang," Wei Wuxian says.

"I want you to know, A-Ying, I am very grateful to have had you here, and I am very, very proud of the man you have become," Uncle Jiang says. "I hope - I don't know where you and Wangji will choose to live when the war is over, but you will always be welcome at Lotus Pier. This is your home, and your family will always be our family."

Wei Wuxian thinks of Hanguang-Jun and Lan Sizhui, the heartbroken, grieving father raising the son of the man he loved, and realises that perhaps he knows now why Madam Yu's hints were so very pointed.

"I hope," he says carefully, "that the son of Jiang Fengmian and Wei Changze is worthy, and brings honour to his fathers." He bows very carefully. If he ruins his hair or his clothing, he may not be permitted to live long enough to get married.

When he straightens, Uncle Jiang is smiling through tears that stream freely down his cheeks. He bows as deeply as if Wei Wuxian had just achieved Immortality, and leaves.

> This is the high point of this entire fic for Jiang Fengmian, because generally speaking? Fuck that guy. And Wei Wuxian isn't actually going out of his way to make Jiang Fengmian happy, most of the time, because the thing is, Wei Wuxian lived long enough to become an adult, properly an adult, one who'd had experience of being an adult authority figure and parental figure to some young people, and he became extremely aware of the ways in which Jiang Fengmian was a really fucking terrible father.
> 
> He has sympathy for Jiang Fengmian as a man who lost his love.
> 
> But this time around he's _painfully_ aware of the ways that Jiang Fengmian favours him too much, and gives to little of his love to his _own children_ , and the thing is that Wei Wuxian loves Jiang Fengmian's children very, very much, so he's low-key furious at Jiang Fengmian's shitty parenting.

Jiang Cheng comes back in and says, "It's time." He pauses a moment. "Remember, if he hurts you, I'm still going to break his pretty face."

> because that's how Jiang Cheng says "I love you"

\---

Long ago, in Wei Wuxian's personal reckoning of time, he married Lan Wangji once before.

It wasn't a big deal. They had been together for some time, and had already confessed their love and devotion in a temple in front of quite a number of people, and by comparison with that event - with all the blood, and hostage-taking, and revelations of decades of scheming, and so on, very dramatic - their actual wedding was kind of an anticlimax.

Wei Wuxian had expected not to find his wedding in this life particularly affecting. It isn't a traditional ceremony; it is rushed (they are even making their vows at the wedding itself), and it is extremely political, with careful symbolism of dual association.

> holy shit is it not traditional.
> 
> I did research into how traditional Chinese weddings work, but that was mostly for the other weddings that appear in the fic. This one isn't traditional. There isn't a bride - I tend to be slightly irritated when people go too hard on mapping these two men to traditional gender roles, so there are no brides and no wives in this and that's _just how it's gonna be_ , plus, seriously? Suuuuper political.
> 
> They're both marrying into the other's sect while remaining in their own, which is not normally a thing AT ALL, but when Lan Xichen and Madam Yu were negotiating this, they were figuring that Jiang Fengmian would not accept losing Wei Ying to the Lan, and the Lan would not accept losing Lan Wangji to the Jiang, and hey, it's not like they were going to have kids, right? So they can just be super-symbolically both in both sects, and... oh, hi, A-Yuan.

And yet.

It's overwhelming. His impressions of the ceremony are scattered.

Later, he will remember shijie, beautiful and beaming through her tears, and Jin Zixuan staring at her as if he cannot bring himself to look away. He will remember Jiang Fengmian, dignified and proud, heedless of his tears, and Madam Yu, giving him the warmest, truest smile he has ever seen from her. He will remember Lan Xichen looking joyful, and Lan Qiren looking grim.

He will remember Lan Zhan, the most perfect vision he has ever seen, utterly stunning in crimson, and the small smile he wore the whole time, there in front of everyone.

He will remember the feeling of Lan Zhan's ribbon against his fingers as he removed it, the feeling of it being wrapped around his wrist, Lan Zhan's voice. "All that I am and have been, I have kept for you, and I give to you." He will remember tying a new ribbon in place. Lan Zhan's voice again. "Today I am a new man, and all that I will become shall be for you."

He will remember giving Lan Zhan the small silver bell. He will remember telling him, "In an imperfect world, there can be no perfect love. Let us attempt the impossible." He will remember tying the bell to Lan Zhan's belt. "As the bells call us back to ourselves, let this call you always back to me."

> A lot of people really seemed to like these vows.

He will remember bowing three times, and looking back to see his family, alive and whole at his wedding.

He will remember a joy unlike anything he had ever experienced in all of his lives.

\---

After the banquet, they are escorted to their new chambers, where their combined belongings have been moved.

Wei Wuxian is very aware of the large bed they contain. It has been almost two years that he and Lan Zhan have been engaged. He has waited _so long._ He has been _so good._ And now they are married, and he is finally, _finally_ going to get to see Lan Zhan naked for the first time in this life.

Eventually.

After the second time he said "ow" trying to get all the ornaments out of his hair, Lan Zhan has taken over, and Wei Wuxian is experiencing an exquisite torture. Lan Zhan standing close behind him, Lan Zhan's fingers brushing against his hair, his skin, carefully extracting each piece.

It takes _forever_.

He is thankful that the Lan take their forehead ribbons so seriously, and need to be able to put them on neatly during their weddings, because Lan Zhan's hair isn't complicated at all.

Finally it is done, and Lan Zhan kisses his neck, slides his hands around Wei Wuxian's waist to undo his belt.

"Wei Ying," he says. "Husband."

It's not like he remembers.

The smooth skin of Lan Zhan's upper body is jarring, even disorienting at first, but in almost no time at all he finds he loves that too; he traces it with his eyes, his hands, his lips. It is proof, warm and real, that Lan Zhan has not been hurt, has never had his own sect try to break him.

In his first life, he died a virgin, and he realises now that his own body responds differently from the one he wore in his second. Lan Zhan is younger, and does not carry years of grief and loss; he is nervous, gentle to a fault, but still sweetly enthusiastic.

Wei Wuxian wonders if he should feel bad that he thinks he might like this better, but he can't, not when his golden core is surging in him, the power rising to meet every thrust, not when Lan Zhan is here, whole and unmarked by the echoes of agony.

It's perfect, and he's not sorry at all.

> This part took forever to get to the point of being _satisfactory_ , because you may have noticed that I am not so much with the porn-writing.

\---

Lan Wangji wakes later than the customary hour, and is still disinclined to move. He is in bed with Wei Ying. Wei Ying is naked but for the white ribbon wrapped around his wrist. Lan Wangji is also naked. This is his favourite place in the whole world.

He reflects on the previous night. It was quite astonishing. The advice of Madam Yu had been extremely helpful; Lan Wangji has always worked very hard to do everything he does as well as he possibly can, and he was very pleased to have had the correct methodology explained.

Wei Ying's impatience was typical, he thinks fondly, but for all his extensive complaints about Lan Wangji's careful attention to detail, and his demands that Lan Wangji exhibit greater haste in his exacting preparation, he had definitely seemed to be satisfied with the results.

Lan Wangji is amazed at how so many people can live without such strict disciplines and self-regulation as the Lan Sect insists upon in all of its disciples. Without such training, he wonders, how do they get anything done?

He knows, as a matter not of pride but of fact, that he is an exemplary disciple. He knows all of the disciplines perfectly, and has adhered to them all his life without exception. His self-control is excellent.

Nonetheless, at this time, he can remember Wei Ying pressing reverent kisses to the smooth skin of his chest, of his back. He can remember sweat-slick skin and the feeling of being, in part, _inside_ Wei Ying.

He wants to do that again. He can't imagine not wanting to do that, all the time.

He is confident that by virtue of his excellent training in self-discipline, he will, reluctantly, be capable of spending hours at a time _not_ doing that. He is, however, puzzled by the question of how people without such rigorous development can equal such an accomplishment.

Perhaps, he considers, they don't know. Perhaps they lack someone like the formidable Madam Yu to provide appropriate instruction.

That must be it.

He probably shouldn't tell anyone. It would be unfortunate if people with less self-discipline were to learn of the addictive properties of sexual activity when correctly executed. Nothing would ever get done.

> I think in the canon timeline, Lan Wangji had been exposed to a bit more of the Real World, had definitely been shown porn by Wei Wuxian, and possibly acquired some more while Wei Wuxian was dead.
> 
> In _this_ timeline, Lan Wangji is still really quite spectacularly innocent. No-one but Wei Wuxian would talk to him about sex and smutty things or show him porn, and Wei Wuxian _didn't_ , so he's kind of... unbelievably naive about this stuff.


	12. Chapter 12

They get two glorious days before it's time to depart for war, and before Wei Wuxian has a debt to repay.

Jin Zixuan has - apparently, not that Wei Wuxian paid any attention, he was busy - stayed in Lotus Pier since the wedding, and is to travel with the Jiang Sect's delegation to Lanling, which will be unusually substantial. Even Madam Yu will be going.

> Not that Madam Yu is normally stuck in Lotus Pier, but it's not that normal for the Sect Leadership Team all to leave at the same time _immediately after the place was attacked_.

Lotus Pier will be left lightly defended, but apparently no attack is anticipated. The Wen Sect sent a considerable force to attack with Wen Chao, and not only were there no survivors, there were no reputable reports as to what had happened to them. Not even bodies were left. Only Wen Chao's sword, which was sent back to Qishan without any additional messages attached.

> Fortunately, the Wen are quietly shitting themselves right now. They sent a significant force that included _the Core-Melting Hand_ and just... nothing came back. There aren't even rumours, because the Jiang Sect aren't talking and all the townsfolk saw was _there was clearly going to be a battle between cultivators, and then they fucking hid_.

While Jin Zixuan's dedication is possibly sweet, and Wei Wuxian thinks that the soft, happy smile shijie has is not _only_ because she's so happy for him, it is also slightly inconvenient.

So Wei Wuxian makes some comments about wanting to do some night-hunting so Jiang Cheng can test his mastery of Zidian after two days of solid practice, and then Wei Wuxian takes his husband and Jiang Cheng to fly ahead on their swords with a promise not to be late rejoining the procession.

"So what's this really about?" Jiang Cheng asks once they're in the air.

"I have a debt to repay."

The weather is beautiful, perfect flying conditions, and Wei Wuxian exults in the steady, easy cruise above the trees.

As far as Wei Wuxian can tell, having large amounts of really amazing sex is excellent for his golden core. He really should have worked harder to develop the one he inherited from Mo Xuanyu sooner.

The kid probably had had potential, after all. He'd been poorly-taught, and had not even begun cultivation training until fourteen, so he was doing well to have one at all.

Thinking about Mo Xuanyu is still a little bit depressing.

Which is unfortunate for him, because that afternoon, they reach Mo Village.

> Mo Xuanyu sacrificed his life and his soul for revenge on the people who hurt him. Wei Wuxian isn't ungrateful - in the course of his second life he did some very important things, and found a lot more happiness than he ever did in his first. And he's not unsympathetic, because Mo Xuanyu got dealt a seriously bad hand in life, and it just truly sucked to be him. He was a _mess_ of trauma and misery and mental illness.
> 
> At this point, he's just a baby. About all that's even close to decided for him is that he's going to be gay and maybe a little high-strung. But if he gets to grow up in a better environment, that could just as well manifest as _fierce queen_ and not _vengeful lunatic_.

\---

"What are we doing here?" Jiang Cheng asks, as they stop and hover.

"We are, we will say, stopping to buy lunch and ask around for strange occurrences," Wei Wuxian says, "and by sheer chance I am going to happen to overhear some gossip, which I will find terribly fascinating, and because I am nosy and inquisitive, I am going to discover in this village there lives a young woman and her infant son."

> Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan: not even questioning this obvious bullshit excuse for something he clearly already knew was going on, because why would they?

"Why do we care about a woman and a baby?"

"Because the child should be somewhere around a year old, and his father is a cultivator." He pauses. "And the mother is seventeen."

There is a long silence.

"Seventeen," Jiang Cheng says flatly.

"Yes."

"And the child is..."

"About a year, I think. I'm not totally sure. Some of the dates are a bit vague."

"So the child was born - _born_ \- when she was sixteen."

"Yes."

Jiang Cheng snarls. " _Who is the father?_ "

> _oh my god_ people had _so much trouble with this_ for _some fucking reason_. Insisting that in "Ancient China" girls totally got married younger than this!!!
> 
> Not that any of them brought citations, and if you're citing _historical accuracy_ at me? Bring citations if you want me to take you seriously, and then kinda shut up anyway because this is a fucking _xanxia fan fiction_ , it's not _historical fiction_. If I were attempting accurate historical fiction, this conversation would not be happening _while they ride on their flying swords_.
> 
> And also don't cite the _book_ in the same comment as you're claiming _historical accuracy_ because ahaha no, the book features potatoes and chili peppers, just go away.
> 
> I did research into what was considered a suitable age to marry in China, historically, and for quite a lot of China's actually-very-detailed-they-kept-records history, the acceptable age to marry was twenty.
> 
> Teenagers gonna teenager and numbers often roll a little younger in poorer/more rural communities pretty much everywhere, but these are _cultivators_ \- Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan are the _son and brother of Sect Leaders_. To put this in terms of a more traditional, non-magic-based power structure, they are _princes_. They have the standards of the aristocracy, not of farmers.
> 
> Which means that a) they're not really okay with extramarital sex in the first place and b) they're really not okay with extramarital sex with girls that young. (Both of them have mentally made an exception for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and it's vitally important to that exception that _they are married,_ but it's also relevant that they are boys, and neither of them expects to get pregnant.)

"That part comes later." He gives Jiang Cheng a pleading look. "I need you not to know right now, Jiang Cheng."

"Well... all right." Jiang Cheng scowls. "But I better find out later, so I can go and break his face."

"I will assist you," Lan Zhan says.

> Which is why they are, essentially, deeply and personally affronted on behalf of cultivators and Decent Men Everywhere.
> 
> Lan Wangji has extremely limited experience with girls/women, in that the list of women he has ever actually had anything like a conversation with at this time is, in order, his mother, Nainai at the kitchens, Jiang Yanli, Madam Yu Ziyuan, END LIST. Nearly everything he knows _about_ women is a list of things he's been told you're not allowed to do or say to them. Since he is acutely, painfully gay, he finds this list to be extremely easy to obey, because: no touching? yup, sure, makes sense. Be polite? isn't he always. Be respectful? ... he will be exactly as respectful as he is to men, which is to say, totally respectful right up until they piss him off and then disrespectful with tremendous precision and continued perfect formality. No having sex with them outside of marriage? well obviously why would you even.
> 
> Jiang Cheng has had a mother much longer and also has a sister he adores and the Jiang Sect aren't as gender-segregated and they go into town and stuff, so he's much more comfortable around women, unless he thinks he's supposed to be flirting with them or something. (Seriously. His interactions with CQL screamed, to me, "Aromantic asexual who knows they're supposed to be interested in people because that's how things work/in his case he's supposed to marry and have an heir and this is the most positive emotional response he's had to a woman who isn't his sister, so this must be what romantic interest feels like.")
> 
> Jiang Cheng respects women and... doesn't like them, exactly, but he dislikes them in the exact same way he dislikes men, so he's also reppin' Good Dudes. Women are people. They should be treated like people. For Jiang Cheng, this includes "wanting them to leave him alone", most of the time. He's not a people person.

Wei Wuxian doesn't answer. He's found Mo Manor, and leads the others to land in the courtyard.

Their method of arrival distinguishes them as being, quite obviously, cultivators. Someone in the household has clearly noticed, because they have barely sheathed their swords when Madam Mo appears to greet them.

"Greetings, Cultivators." She bows. "To what do we owe the honour of your visit?"

Wei Wuxian, as a rule, abhors the arrogance with which some cultivators approach interactions with non-cultivators. He likes people.

He does not like Madam Mo.

So he allows himself to give her a flat stare and does not bother to return her bow.

"Our business is with the Second Young Lady Mo. Please convey to the mistress of your house that we are here, and ask that Second Young Lady Mo and her child should pack for a journey as quickly as possible. We are on our way to Jinlintai."

She flushes at his apparent assumption that she is a servant.

"Of course, Cultivator. Would - would you like to come inside? May we offer you refreshments?"

Wei Wuxian glances around. He looks towards where the shed Mo Xuanyu was kept in should be, and allows the disgust he feels to show on his face. "No thank you," he says coolly. "We will wait here."

> Wei Wuxian is a kind person who genuinely likes people.
> 
> The thing about being kind and genuinely liking people is that on those rare occasions when you wish to demonstrate your specific dislike for a particular individual, it's entirely possible you will be an _expert_ at it.

"Yes, Cultivator." She bows nervously and retreats back into the house.

Jiang Cheng stands close at his left shoulder, Lan Zhan at his right.

"That was rude," Jiang Cheng murmurs.

> The Jiang Sect don't normally go in for being high-handed with the common people.

"She'll live," Wei Wuxian says. "And in exchange for her life, that's a small price to pay."

"If you don't explain this properly later, I'm going to break your legs."

"Breaking Wei Ying is unacceptable," Lan Zhan says. "But I will assist Jiang Wanyin in persuasion."

> Lan Zhan is a reasonable man.

They wait.

Madam Mo clearly wants the rude cultivators gone before too many people can see them waiting outside her house and assume that something has gone scandalously wrong inside, or that her hospitality is too inadequate. In a remarkably short time, a girl Jiang Cheng's age emerges, a baby in her arms, with a servant carrying an offensively small bag. She looks nervous, torn between hope and anxiety.

Wei Wuxian steps forward and bows deeply.

"Second Lady Mo, this one is honoured to meet you," he says gently. "Please come with us."

"Yes, Cultivator," she says.

Jiang Cheng takes the bag, and Wei Wuxian escorts her to outside the manor's gates.

> Madam Mo is _definitely_ watching from a window and is _absolutely_ seeing that the cultivator who looked at her like she was shit under his boots is treating the Second Young Lady Mo with deference and courtesy.

"If I may," he says, "it would be preferable if we could ask you to accompany us by air. If you are willing, and only if you are willing, I would suggest that if you permit me to carry your son, my husband can carry you with him, and you need not fear dropping Xuanyu."

"You know his -" She flushes. She'll assume Wei Wuxian was sent by the boy's father, and have more trust, but he is aware of sharp looks from Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan.

"Of course." He smiles. "Second Lady Mo, I am Wei Wuxian. This is Jiang Wanyin, and my husband, Lan Wangji."

Every time Wei Wuxian says the words _my husband_ , Lan Zhan looks pleased. It's adorable.

"I am grateful, Wei-gongzi," she says. "As you have said."

> I will probably end up forgetting I've said this here and mentioning it elsewhere, but: my use of Chinese terms of address and English translations thereof is inconsistent and would quite possibly irritate me if I was reading it, so... sorry if it bugs you, I am a creature of whim and prosody.

She gives him the baby.

Wei Wuxian cradles him to his chest. He has a strange, heady sense of worlds colliding.

Mo Xuanyu blinks sleepily up at him and smiles. He's a sweet-faced child, and there is nothing in him now to suggest the tortured young man who would destroy his own soul for revenge.

 _I will keep you safe, Mo Xuanyu_ , Wei Wuxian thinks. _And when you are older, I will find someone to teach you how to apply makeup properly._

> In the book version Wei Wuxian wakes up with some fuckin' hideous makeup on.

He holds him very carefully as they take off.

\---

They're supposed to meet everyone in Lanling that night. The Jiangs and Jin Zixuan are flying at a less pressed pace, and the luggage for an extended stay away from Lotus Pier will follow, brought by some of the seniors of the Jiang Sect.

They bring Second Lady Mo and Mo Xuanyu to the very nice inn that has been selected, and settle them in a room to rest after the unaccustomed trip.

She handled the flight quite well, considering, but she clearly found it stressful. Mo Xuanyu appears to have slept through all of it.

Wei Wuxian can see that Jiang Cheng is positively itching to demand explanations, but there are too many people around in the inn, so they make small talk about his training with Zidian, and the news (not gossip; gossip is forbidden) Jiang Cheng heard from Nie Huaisang before he left after the wedding.

Second Lady Mo tentatively emerges as evening is drawing in. They order food, passing Mo Xuanyu around in turns in order to eat.

Wei Wuxian looks up from his food at one point to see Lan Zhan holding baby Mo Xuanyu, gazing down at him with a faintly puzzled smile. (Wei Wuxian focuses on the sheer sweetess of the scene, rather than contemplating the ways in which Lan Zhan holding that particular child is possibly even stranger than Wei Wuxian himself doing so.)

> Look, it was many years later, but _things_ were _done_.

"This child is very cute," Lan Zhan announces after a moment, with the air of one reaching a conclusion that has been considered with great care. Wei Wuxian feels the restraint he exercises in not squealing out loud at that is truly an achievement, because Lan Zhan is _also very cute_.

> not thinking about it not thinking about it not thinking about it.

"They often are," Jiang Cheng says. He looks from Lan Zhan to Wei Wuxian, and rolls his eyes. "Please don't mind Wei Wuxian and his ridiculous face," he tells Second Lady Mo. "They were only married three days ago."

"I think it's lovely," Second Lady Mo says, looking down.

Wei Wuxian gives Jiang Cheng a look: _Good job, talking about getting married in front of the unwed mother!_

Jiang Cheng winces.

> HE'S NOT GOOD AT PEOPLE

Perhaps fortunately, it is then that the others arrive.

Wei Wuxian hastens to meet them at the door. "Uncle Jiang, shimu, shijie, Zixuan," he says quickly, "we have a guest."

Madam Yu glances past him. "So I see," she says. "Two, in fact. Unless you and Lan Zhan are already giving me a grandchild?" she suggests archly.

> foreshadowing, Wei Ying: if you acquire spawn, it will absolutely be her grandchild, or else

"Absolutely not," he says. "The child is the young lady's son."

Madam Yu frowns. "How old is she?"

"She is seventeen."

"And the child?"

"A year."

A moment's pause. "Who is the father?" There is a razor-sharp edge to her tone.

> Madam Yu: so who am I killing or having Jinzhu or Yinzhu kill?

Wei Wuxian clears his throat. "As I understand it, a cultivator of the Jin Sect."

"What?" Jin Zixuan hisses. "Are you sure? At _seventeen_? Even my father wouldn't -" he flushes, and falls silent. Wei Wuxian looks away. He knows that Jin Zixuan is embarrassed by his father's behaviour, and will be appalled to have acknowledged it.

> Genuinely I think a lot of Zixuan's issues came from being raised in a Sect that very clearly thinks highly of itself and thinks it has high standards while his father was tomcatting around like a total embarrassment.

He also knows that yes, in fact, Jin Zixuan's father would, and did.

"We stopped in a village to eat and ask around about unusual happenings, and I learned of the girl and the child. Her family are... not well-disposed, so we thought it better to bring her away."

"Quite right," Madam Yu says. "Which village, Wei Ying?"

He meets her eyes. "Mo Village." He sees understanding dawn.

> well that makes sense Wei Ying but this is going to be messy

"A-Li, Zixuan, Jiang Fengmian should eat," she says firmly. "Wei Ying, introduce me to the girl."

"Yes, shimu."

As he crosses with her to the table, she murmurs, "I hope you have a plan."

"I do," he says. "Madam Yu, may I introduce Second Young Lady Mo?"

\---

That night, Jiang Cheng resolutely follows Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan into their room and glares at Wei Wuxian. "Explain."

Wei Wuxian momentarily considers trying to drive Jiang Cheng away by shamelessly flirting with Lan Zhan, but his husband is also looking at him expectantly.

> When Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan are in agreement, Wei Wuxian is not getting away with _shit_.

He sighs.

"You know that I died... before." Neither of them look happy at the reminder, but they nod. "I came back because there is an ancient technique, although it is forbidden. A person could sacrifice their life, and their soul, and summon a vicious spirit into their bodies to take revenge." He pauses. "I would like to be clear that I was a very harmless wandering spirit and never hurt _anyone_ and I still object to being considered a vicious spirit, really, but he called for me by name."

"How is this connected to - oh, no." Jiang Cheng looks distraught. "That cute baby?"

> Jiang Cheng likes babies, fight me
> 
> The only thing wrong with babies is that they grow up to be people, and people are kind of annoying.

"Yeah, he... didn't have a good life. Obviously. And when he was eighteen, he destroyed himself to bring me back. Completely." Wei Wuxian sighs. "If you think about it, it did... work out well for me? But I don't intend to die, this time, and I feel like I owe the kid a better life. I mean, even if I didn't, I couldn't live with knowing just how bad it was for him and not doing something about it."

"Yeah," Jiang Cheng says. "Okay."

\---

They arrive at Jinlintai the next morning. Madam Jin is delighted to greet Madam Yu and Jiang Yanli, and appropriately welcoming to the rest of them. Wei Wuxian is slightly amused that his status, in her eyes, has clearly risen; he is no longer the son of a servant, an unjustly indulged ward, but the husband of the Second Young Master Lan, after all.

> I think Madam Jin is not a bad person, but she's quite image/status-conscious.

Madam Yu introduces Second Young Lady Mo as _a disadvantaged girl, quite wronged; we are taking steps to rectify the situation, you understand_. Madam Jin welcomes her as the guest of her dear friend. Wei Ying is carrying Mo Xuanyu.

Jiang Fengmian, having greeted their hostess, leaves to join the other Sect Leaders immediately.

"Perhaps Second Young Lady Mo should rest," Wei Wuxian says. "I will take the child to see his father, and bring him back shortly."

Madam Yu raises an eyebrow. He smiles.

"An excellent idea," Madam Yu says. Madam Jin summons a servant, who escorts the girl away. Once Second Young Lady Mo is gone, she turns back to him with a look. "And how, Wei Ying, do you intend to do that?"

He grins, and passes the baby to Lan Zhan. (Because Lan Zhan, as usual, is standing closest to him, not because the sight of Lan Zhan holding a baby does something to his chest.) "May we go to the common hall? This will be easier in a place with plenty of people."

> hey let's make sure there's lots of witnesses, nothing could go wrong

"Of course," Madam Jin says. "I take it you don't know whose child this is?"

"We know he is a cultivator of the Jin sect," Madam Yu says. Madam Jin's steps falter, only for a moment.

"How old did you say the girl was?"

"Seventeen," Madam Yu says, and her voice is cold.

Madam Jin, too, appears to believe that Jin Guangshun would not sink _that_ low, as she seems slightly relieved.

They reach the common hall. Many cultivators in Jin robes are in the vicinity, a few in Nie and Lan.

"I've worked out a new tool," Wei Wuxian says brightly. "I think it will be very useful. So many times on night-hunts, you find spirits whose difficulty is tied to their families, but they don't have enough spiritual cognition left to tell you who their families are. This will tell you." He marks a talisman. "It works by generations. A blue light goes to siblings. A white light goes between parents and children. Since I am touching it also, if my relatives were in the vicinity, it would point to them, of course. But of course, by blood, I don't have any!"

> Everyone, as this is announced: hey, cool idea
> 
> Everyone, a few minutes from now: you know what instant and reliable paternity tests that also clearly show the existence of unknown children and relationships is maybe not a thing we actually want floating around, we're all just never going to mention this again, right?

A small crowd has gathered. Wei Wuxian sees several smirks and sidelong glances; it seems a few people still believe the rumours that he is Jiang Fengmian's son by birth. This should dispel them.

He has always liked efficiency.

"I can demonstrate the effect,” he says, holding it up. No lines emerge until he touches it to Jiang Cheng's hand.

> It's really handy that he can use Jiang Cheng, on the basis that he genuinely does know absolutely definitely exactly who Jiang Cheng's parents are and who his definitely only sibling is.

A blue glow streaks from Jiang Cheng to shijie, a white light to Madam Yu. Another white light runs away through the door towards the pavilion where the Sect Leaders are meeting.

"Observe, the brother of Jiang Yanli to his sister, the son of Madam Yu to his mother, the son of Jiang Fengmian to his father. The light won't be visible up there, sadly, though wouldn't that be funny!" He grins. "The light doesn't go very far from the talisman, but it does go the right way, so you can follow it. As you can see, it correctly finds _all_ of Jiang Cheng's blood-related family."

> HIS PARENTS AND HIS SISTER AND NOT ME, FUCKERS

The light dies when he pulls it away from Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath, meets Madam Yu's eyes for a moment, and then presses it to Mo Xuanyu's tiny hand.

> hold up the fan, I'm gonna throw this shit right at it

Blue lights stream out in several directions.

There are gasps.

And then people notice that one runs to Jin Zixuan, and a white light runs out the door once again.

Jin Zixuan goes pale, then red, and he clenches Suihua in his fist. "Bring the child," he growls, and stalks away, following the white line.

They follow.

The line leads them towards the pavilion.

The group following is quite substantial. Jin Zixuan is followed by Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan, of course, but also Madam Yu, the coldly furious Madam Jin, shijie, Jiang Cheng, Yinzhu, Jinzhu, and most of the people who were in the hall are also moving up. Some have stayed behind, and rising arguments can be heard.

Wei Wuxian is disrupting a number of families today. More than he expected.

Jin Zixuan approaches the doors. "Keep the child safe," he says tightly. "If that boy is my brother, he _will_ be protected."

> not exactly a lot of if left, but everyone knows what he means

"Madam Yu," Lan Zhan says, "take the child."

"Give him to Jinzhu," Madam Yu says. "Jinzhu and Yinzhu will see no harm comes to him."

Jinzhu uses a fold of her sleeve to hold the talisman against Mo Xuanyu's hand. Yinzhu draws her blade, and nods.

> try to touch the kid and you will definitely fucking die

Jin Zixuan throws the doors open.

A white line glows, running directly to Jin Guangshun.

The Sect Leaders inside all look out at the crowd that has come to interrupt their conference.

Jin Zixuan draws his sword and steps inside.

"You have dishonoured my mother," he says. His voice rises gradually in volume. "You have shamed and humiliated me with your disgraceful behaviour, and neither of us ever said a word. But to have violated that girl? _A child?_ Is there no _limit_ to your shame?"

Jin Guangshun draws himself to his feet. "What do you think you are -"

Someone has been shoving through the crowd and bursts through, pointing a shaking hand at Jin Guangshun.

Wei Wuxian recognises Qin Cangye.

He may have slightly miscalculated, he thinks faintly, as Qin Cangye bellows, "My wife! You raped my _wife!_ My daughter - my Qin Su -" His voice breaks.

Jin Zixuan closes his eyes, just for a moment, and then advances and levels his sword at Jin Guangshun's throat.

"Get out," he says. "Leave Jinlintai and never return, and I will allow you to leave alive. What happens after that is up to you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jin Guangshun scoffs. "They're only women."

"You don't even deny it? Last chance," Jin Zixuan says. "And I assure you that it is against my better judgement."

"Nah, forget it," Jin Guangshun says. "This -"

He stops speaking, because Jin Zixuan has slashed his throat. Jin Guangshun clutches at the wound, blood welling through his fingers, staring wide-eyed at the son he had acknowledged.

"You were warned," Jin Zixuan says.

Jin Guangshung collapses, shattering the table.

> Oh look, it's the other thing people lost their shit about.
> 
> OKAY! Time for a lecture on the difference between "what the rules and traditions nominally say and what actually happens in reality!"
> 
> Chinese culture does, indeed, traditionally value filial relationships.
> 
> Zixuan has two of them. To his father _and his mother_. His father has dishonoured his mother. It is filial for him to kill his father just as it is to allow his honourable mother to continue to be dishonoured by him, and the balance has just shifted hard on that, because the level of that shame and dishonour has just gone public.
> 
> And as for "but the Jin Sect people would just kill him immediately!"
> 
> Have you heard the phrase: "The king is dead! Long live the king!"
> 
> It's not actually an oxymoron.
> 
> A monarchy is never without a monarch. The coronation is ceremonial. The king is dead? Long live _the new king_.
> 
> Jin Guangshan is dead. Jin Zixuan is the new Jin Sect Leader. He is standing there with his sword in his hand surrounded by Jiang Fengmian, Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen, and currently between him and the general Jin population are also Madam Jin, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Wanyin, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Madam Yu Ziyuan, and a whole crowd of people who are all big mad at Jin Guangshan right now.
> 
> Anyone who tried to move against him in that moment would be cut down before they got near him. By the time he's not functionally just impossibly well-defended, things will have _settled_ , and here's the thing: Kings and Emperors have attained the throne by murder throughout history, and generally speaking?
> 
> Everyone just kind of goes with it, because the thing is that, well... he's in charge now, and it's just how things are. By the time things have settled, everyone will just know that Jin Zixuan is the Jin Sect Leader now.
> 
> Is it possible that people would try to scheme against him?
> 
> Yes. Definitely. Some did, in fact, try. Zixuan was never even aware of it, because in no time at all he's here with Jin Guangyao on his side, and none of them were going to pull it off without the highly perceptive _scheming master manipulator_ finding out, and then Jin Guangyao and MianMian - his friend and adjutant - will _cut a bitch_.
> 
> Madam Meng and Madam Sisi take tea with ladies of all ranks. This means that Madam Meng and Madam Sisi are hooked into a comprehensive gossip network that collectively sees _everything_ in Jinlintai, and Madam Meng is _not stupid_. (Naive, about a few things, but she's living in the cultivator world, now, and she's been learning.) She was famous because she was educated and gifted, with artistic calligraphy, beautiful guqin skills, and could just about pass for a high-born lady. She has a good eye for things that are shady, and she tells her son anything he might need to know.
> 
> Just about everyone who was truly unhappy with Jin Zixuan's leadership died in the Sunshot Campaign, because Jin Guangyao was running logistics. He _had_ to send people to fight, even at the most dangerous places, where casualty rates were high. Selecting who would go to such battlefields was a painful, burdensome duty, and he filtered on loyalty first, because people who were likely to try to move against his brother were automatically flagged as _disposable_.

Jin Zixuan speaks. "My apologies, Sect Leaders, for this disruption. I will -" He stops, and goes wide-eyed. "I will. Oh no."

> Spot the exact moment he realised he'd just lined himself up for sect leadership.

He shakes his head. "I will endeavour to meet with you this evening." He wipes Suihua on his father's body, sheathes it, and turns to face the crowd.

> Idle note: fictional character sheathing their swords when they're still bloody never fails to bother me.

"Sect Leader Jin," Madam Jin says, voice shaking only slightly. "What will you do now?"

Jin Zixuan inclines his head. "Wei-gongzi has kindly provided us with a means to identify... my long-lost siblings," he says. "I will acknowledge them as my family and seek to redress any - any difficulties in their circumstances. And while I know that it will not make amends for my father's wrongs, I will do my best to offer reparations to his victims."

Madam Jin nods. "I look forward to meeting the brothers and sisters of my beloved son," she says, and turns, beckoning to a wide-eyed servant nearby. "Fetch some others," she orders, "and clean up the mess in the pavilion."

> Keep calm and carry on.

She then turns and sweeps the crowd with a glare, and many people suddenly, it seems, remember that they have important business anywhere. One of the people who does not is Madam Qin, who had followed her husband but not fought her way through the back of the crowd, and is left standing, crying, with Qin Su crying with her.

Madam Jin goes to them, and speaks gently. Madam Yu glances at Wei Wuxian, and then goes to join her.

Jin Zixuan returns with a heavy tread, and looks at Mo Xuanyu, who has been frowning at the commotion, though Jinzhu had turned to shield him from actually seeing any of it. "May I?" He takes the child from Jinzhu. "My brother," he says softly.

Mo Xuanyu reaches up and touches the tears that have started to fall on Jin Zixuan's cheeks.

It's a remarkably tender moment, right up to the point where Mo Xuanyu pulls his hand back and smacks Jin Zixuan in the face, then giggles.

> Babies can often be relied upon to hit people in the face, in my experience. Guaranteed in the future there will be a time when Wei Wuxian and Jin Xuanyu are arguing and Wei Wuxian is like YOU HIT A SECT LEADER IN THE FACE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D ALWAYS BE DISRESPECTFUL AND TERRIBLE and Xuanyu who has heard the extremely sanitised version of this story before will be like I WAS A BABY AND UNCLE ZIXUAN HAD BEEN A SECT LEADER FOR THREE MINUTES

Jin Zixuan huffs a laugh. "Yes," he says. "I think so, today."

Uncle Jiang, Lan Xichen, and Nie Mingjue emerge from the pavilion and bow to Jin Zixuan.

"Sect Leader Jin," Uncle Jiang says. "We believe we have... some understanding of what has taken place today. We have agreed that your actions were just and justified, and there can be no question of the righteousness of your succession."

> other sect leaders: you know what fuck that guy it's not like we liked him

Jin Zixuan bows awkwardly, unable to assume the proper form while also holding his infant brother. "Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang." He hesitates. "Today has been... the shame my father's actions brought upon my clan has become all too evident. If the Jiang Sect wishes to end my engagement to Jiang-guniang, the Jin and I will take no insult."

"Absolutely not," shijie says sharply. She steps forward, and bows to Jin Zixuan, and then to her father. "Sect Leader Jin may choose not to marry me, if _he_ does not _want_ to marry me. No other reason is acceptable."

> Jiang Yanli really liked how he handled all that, who knew patricide was hot

Wei Wuxian is so, so proud. He is also so, so horrified, because Jin Zixuan is looking at her like - like _Lan Zhan_ looks at _Wei Wuxian_ , like he can't quite believe someone so perfect is actually real. (Obviously, in shijie's case, this view is _objectively correct_ , but still.)

"This unworthy one wants nothing more than to marry Jiang-guniang," he says. "I would marry you tomorrow, but -"

"But there is too much to do. You have just become leader of your sect, and we are all preparing for a war. Perhaps it is better to wait."

They smile at each other.

> disgusting, shameless, there's a child present, how could they

Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng, who looks back. They share a moment of true understanding, because Jiang Cheng knows his pain.

Today was Wei Wuxian's worst plan ever, because it succeeded, but at what cost?

> they were going to get married anyway, Wei Wuxian


	13. Chapter 13

Early in the afternoon, he is sitting with Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan when one of the gate guards comes to find him.

"Wei-gongzi," the guard says, bowing, "a message for you was delivered to the gate. It is... quite strange."

"What message?"

"The doctor will see you in the Lanling town square."

Wei Wuxian stares for a moment, and then nods, and stands. "I will go."

"We'll come with you," Jiang Cheng says immediately.

"No, no." Wei Wuxian smiles apologetically. "I must go alone. I will see you both later."

> The fact that he thought this would work on either one of them... bruh.

He hurries away.

\---

Jiang Cheng will, grudgingly, admit that there's nothing technically _wrong_ with Wangji.

> As brothers-in-law go he's better than the prospect of Jin Zixuan, at least?

Or at least, nothing he can explicitly object to, since most of what's wrong with Wangji is that he doesn't talk enough or have facial expressions and also has absolutely terrible taste in men, and Jiang Cheng does not have a face thick enough to think he can be critical of someone else for being sort of antisocial, nor for their romantic preferences.

> If you ever need someone to judge the hell out of your romantic and sexual preferences, ask an aromantic asexual, who can point out all the ways in which you could just find so many better things to do with your time

He can forgive not talking, because after growing up with Wei Wuxian being around someone like Wangji is frankly restful, and after a couple of years of close association, he's got some idea of how to read the non-expressions.

> Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan aren't friends, exactly. Their relationship is very definitely _brothers-in-law_. If either one of them is in a fight, the other is definitely on his side, unless the fight is with Wei Wuxian, in which case... well, Jiang Cheng will be deciding on the merits, Lan Zhan is on Wei Ying's side, it's just that if Jiang Cheng is the one who's in the right, _being on Wei Wuxian's side_ will entail trying to make sure Wei Ying's relationship with Jiang Cheng comes through it okay, because he knows that's really important to Wei Ying.
> 
> It's an odd dynamic in which they'll never seek each other out, really, but they recognise each other as allies in the fight to Stop Wei Ying Courtesy Name Wuxian From Being A Dumbass.

It's _possible_ that he would quite like Wangji, and would appreciate having him in his family by way of his sworn brother, if not for the part where Wangji married Wei Wuxian (see: terrible taste in men) and now he and Wei Wuxian have a mostly-silent shadow who gets all tetchy when Jiang Cheng hits Wei Wuxian, even though he always deserves it.

> but man Jiang Cheng finds that annoying. Because Wei Wuxian often totally deserves being hit by Jiang Cheng, in Jiang Cheng's view (and he's not always wrong), but Lan Wangji gets _super_ huffy about it.

But he's really not used to being around Wangji without Wei Wuxian as a buffer. It's... strange.

However, it's necessary, because they both know Wei Wuxian is deeply deficient when it comes to self-preservation, and wandering off alone in Lanling when he's just been the catalyst for the total disruption of the Jin Sect is _unacceptable_ , and Wei Wuxian is an _idiot_ for thinking they would let him do it.

> the only reason Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan aren't problematically over-protective is that seriously Wei Wuxian cannot be trusted to take care of himself, he actually is a self-destructive dumbass

Obviously they had no _choice_ but to shadow him and now be watching him from the distance as he stands around Lanling Town Square like a moron. Wei Wuxian basically forced them to do this.

> "look, I know this is totally stalkerish of us but he LEFT US NO CHOICE"
> 
> "... you know what fair"

Jiang Cheng's life is an ongoing trial and it's Wei Wuxian's fault.

> **It could be worse.**

He watches from behind a market stall as Wei Wuxian is met by someone he's pretty sure is a woman in nondescript, hooded robes, and his face lights up.

Jiang Cheng can _feel_ Wangji's displeasure. He glances around. Yep, his eyebrows have very fractionally made a move in the direction of furrowing, and his lips are very slightly pressed together. Wangji is obviously seething with jealousy, which Jiang Cheng still doesn't really understand because Wei Wuxian is absolutely and utterly besotted with him, but whatever, he's not going to judge Wangji for being a possessive bastard. Jiang Cheng has grudgingly accepted sharing Wei Wuxian's attention with Wangji, he's not going to be happy about someone else entering the mix either.

> Jiang Cheng's misreading this slightly. Lan Zhan isn't jealous in the way he thinks. Lan Zhan is disapproving of Wei Ying meeting people all secretly like this because such activities are _dangerous_ and his husband, you understand, is a _self-destructive dumbass_.

He looks back. Wei Wuxian is listening to something the woman is saying. He replies. She shakes her head. Wei Wuxian says something, looking quietly earnest. She nods, slowly.

Wei Wuxian moves his hands, and his fingertips glow with spiritual energy. The woman touches his hand, they bow, and then separate.

> the thing I never found a way to make explicitly clear in the fic:
> 
> The idea I have about how the message butterflies work is that you can use them to convey messages, and they will be quite subtle and secret (they're not visible the whole way of a journey, only when they're close to their sender and targets) but a) they take spiritual power, more of it the bigger the message or the further they have to go, and b) you have to know the recipient well enough to aim it at their spiritual cognition.
> 
> In things that utterly confuse Wen Qing forever, Wei Wuxian totally already knows her well enough to send her messages like that. She's touching his spiritual energy to get enough of a sense of _his_ to be able to send him messages.
> 
> If you think this is dumb feel free to ignore it.

"What the fuck," Jiang Cheng says quietly.

"Mn," says Wangji.

Wei Wuxian watches the woman walk away, and then turns, and walks straight towards them.

Shit.

> you're sweet but one of you is wearing blindingly white high-quality rich person robes and the other of you is wearing purple/violet high quality rich person robes, also you're both tall and carrying swords and _you're his husband and his brother he can pick you out of a crowd_

\---

"No explanations," Wei Wuxian says, slinging an arm around each of his loving, yet not remotely subtle companions. How adorable! Did they think that the robes of Lan and Jiang were unobtrusive? "Come on, hurry."

\---

He finds Zewu-Jun speaking quietly with Nie Mingjue.

"Brothers. Wuxian." Zewu-Jun very rarely shows surprise, even when three people burst in on his conversations. "Is there a problem?"

"A solution," Wei Wuxian says breathlessly. "If Sect Leader Nie can forgive this interruption, I need a word with you."

"Forgiven," Nie Mingjue grunts. "It is clearly important. I will speak to Zewu-Jun later."

> Nie Mingjue not so much with the standing on ceremony, I think.

They all bow as he leaves.

"What is this urgent solution?" Zewu-Jun asks mildly.

"Meng Yao," Wei Wuxian says. "Have you had contact with him? Do you know where he is?"

"I do," Zewu-Jun allows. "He is at the Cloud Recesses. His background in cultivation is somewhat erratic, but Uncle is pleased to have such an assiduous student."

Wei Wuxian blinks. He can see the reasoning - no-one in Cloud Recesses would dare to be caught backbiting and gossiping about Meng Yao's parentage.

"I think," Wei Wuxian says, "we can bring him here. Jin Zixuan will look for him, anyway."

"We won't... need him?"

"No," Wei Wuxian says. "No, we have something _better_."

> Because Wei Wuxian never _wanted_ to be sending Meng Yao to Qishan. That experience was not one that seemed likely to make him a better person.

\---

Meng Yao is brought to Jinlintai with the greatest urgency, and arrives that evening. He wears the simple white student robes of the Lan sect, but no ribbon.

> Had he stayed, he might have been inducted into the Lan Sect. Lan Qiren had daydreams of Meng Yao becoming expert enough in cultivation theory to take over teaching some of his classes, and then he'd stay in the Cloud Recesses and Lan Qiren would have help and also a young person to mentor who listened to him and was all polite and nice and charming and not... out of reach, the way his nephews have become, at this point.
> 
> Because Lan Wangji has been away for a couple of years now, and is not yet showing signs of returning, and Lan Xichen has been... different, since Lan Wangji left. Lan Qiren thinks it's _because_ Wangji left, because his nephews had each other and now Xichen is alone; he's wondered often if Xichen brought Xue Yang and Meng Yao to the Cloud Recesses to be new substitute little brothers, but while Xichen and A-Yang are close, Xichen almost seems like he's actively avoiding Meng Yao (because he is) and Lan Qiren can't work out what's going on but he _likes_ Meng Yao.

He is accompanied on his way to see the Sect Leader by Wei Wuxian and the Twin Jades of Lan.

Wei Wuxian is not sure he isn't making a terrible, terrible mistake, but it cannot be denied that Meng Yao is extremely gifted, and he can _probably_ be trusted not to kill people who treat him decently, and he should, at least, be less bitter and twisted now, especially since Jin Guangshan is already dead.

In any case, Wei Wuxian has every intention of still being around for the next few years, and he will be watching Meng Yao with some care.

> That was pretty much his plan before, because he was still a junior, not yet allowed to wander around on his own, and he couldn't really do anything about Meng Yao. He was hoping that warning Zewu-Jun against trusting him, combined with the way things would be different with Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu still alive, would be enough, and definitely planning to kill Meng Yao if he had to - when Meng Yao was an adult.

They are brought to the residence of Jin Zixuan, who is still in the rooms of the Jin Sect heir. His mother, Madam Yu, Jiang Fengmian and shijie are with him.

> Madam Yu: this little shit?

They all bow. Meng Yao's expression is blandly pleasant, but there is a hint of wary fear in his eyes. Wei Wuxian is actually sympathetic, because he has not explained what is going on here. Just in case.

"Zewu-Jun, Wangji, Wuxian," Jin Zixuan says. "And... guest. May I be of assistance?"

Zewu-Jun looks at Wei Wuxian, who nods.

"Zixuan," he says, deliberately placing this on the level of an interaction between friends, "I would like you to meet Meng Yao, who is your younger brother. He is a clever and gifted man and a tremendously able administrator, and may be of some use to you, with your new responsibilities."

Jin Zixuan blinks, and bows again. "It is my honour to meet my brother," he says firmly. "Welcome. If Meng Yao is willing, I am sure that Wuxian is correct."

> Jin Zixuan has been envying Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng for about two years now. Jiang Cheng is a sect heir too, but he's not expected to be all alone and aloof and not really even have friends (because treating others as his equals would be unacceptable). Jiang Cheng has Wei Wuxian, and they're clearly _bros_ , and Jin Zixuan wants a bro of his very own, and now they've turned up with, like, a bro of his own who's practically GIFT-WRAPPED because of course Zixuan can be like "this is my bro" because it's _his actual brother._ He's all BROOOO BRO BRO BRO BRO in his heart right now and it's very sweet. THIS IS MY LIL BRO AND HE'S GON BE MY LIL BRO AND I'LL BE HIS BIG BRO AND WE'LL JUST BE BROS AND I'LL HAVE A BRO.

Meng Yao is blinking, looking genuinely shocked, and a little as if he is waiting to hear the punchline on a cruel joke at his own expense.

> Meng Yao meanwhile is like "this seems too easy"

"I... am honoured," he says finally.

Madam Jin rises. "Meng Yao," she says. He doesn't quite flinch, but it's close. "Jin Guangyao, perhaps. If you choose." She takes his hands. "Welcome. If I may ask, is your mother still alive?"

Meng Yao looks at the floor. "She is," he says quietly.

> "oh right obviously here is where this goes to shit"

"Would you like to bring her to Jinlintai?"

Meng Yao closes his eyes. "My mother is... my mother is a prostitute," he whispers. "I cannot afford to buy her freedom."

"I see," Madam Jin says. "Zixuan?"

> Madam Jin meanwhile is at "look at least your mother was a whore because she had to make a living, my late husband was just a crappy human, so I'm going to let my son decide how we're playing this"

Jin Zixuan nods. "Come, A-Yao, I will show you to the treasury."

> BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meng Yao looks up with the most honest expression of pure astonishment. Jin Zixuan smiles. "Later, I will introduce you to our brother xiao-Xuanyu. You'll like him, he's really cute. Come along."

> brobrobro

\---

Over the next few days, many things happen.

Madam Meng is brought to Jinlintai, along with her dearest friend, and installed in rooms near those of Madam Jin and Second Lady Mo. Qin Su is recognised as Jin Zixuan's sister, but remains with her parents, who are presenting a thick face to the world; it is the firm position that Madam Qin was left without choice in her actions, and all blame falls to Jin Guangshan.

> this is both highly defensible and also politically expedient, and people will always go with the truth if that's the most convenient option

The name of Qin rarely appears in the stories that fly so fast - after all, there is so much else to tell, especially with Jin Zixuan accepting a famous prostitute into his home, and making her son his closest advisor!

> Jin Zixuan taking the power move option, here, seriously.
> 
> Because this is: _yeah, it's a scandal. And what are you going to do about it? Nothing? Because there's nothing you **can** do? That's what I thought._

No discussion of Madam Meng's history is permitted within Jinlintai.

Meng Yao, with coaching and instruction from Madam Jin, takes charge of the administration of the internal affairs of Jinlintai. His genial efficiency is quickly recognised, and draws grudging respect, at minimum, and the admiration of many.

> he is, in fact, really fucking competent

This allows Jin Zixuan time to meet extensively with the other major Sect Leaders. Wei Wuxian laughs at Jiang Cheng, who will have to attend the meetings as the Jiang heir, until Madam Yu declares that Wei Wuxian should also be there.

"Wei Ying may have... insight," she says, and Uncle Jiang thinks too highly of him for him to get out of it after that. It's terrible.

But they have the broad outline of a plan, to which he has substantially contributed, before the leaders of the smaller sects have all arrived.

It isn't as bad as he feared, this time; Lan Xichen knows his secret, and has always, in every life, taken Wei Wuxian's most outrageous behaviour with equanimity. Uncle Jiang is Uncle Jiang, Jin Zixuan is his peer and friend, and Nie Mingjue is unconcerned with Wei Wuxian's youth and lack of rank when his understanding of war and tactics is clearly substantial.

Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Lan Zhan are present as the current heirs to their sects. Lan Zhan, it turns out, finds Wei Wuxian confidently arguing tactical analysis with the leaders of four major sects to be almost unbearably attractive. Wei Wuxian's evenings and nights are also kept very busy.

> Nie Huaisang won't admit it, but he's actually working very hard, because he's also talking to Madam Yu/Jin Guangyao/Madam Jin/Lan Qiren about co-ordinating supply lines and logistics, and working out plans to turn the Unclean Realm into an evac hospital.

He's quite tired by the time the leaders of the smaller sects have all arrived. The four major sects have reached the broad outline of a plan, and Wei Wuxian is relieved to be excused from attending the broader discussions. The other sect leaders will hardly accept someone in his position addressing them at all.

It's terribly, terribly unfair that Lan Zhan still has to attend, that Wei Wuxian can't keep him in bed. He loves sex with Lan Zhan, loves touching the smooth skin where Lan Zhan has now never carried the scars of a discipline whip, loves just having leisure to be together.

Maybe later, he sighs. Maybe after the war. Maybe this time, they can find peace.

> I mean in theory but you're going to be super-depressed for a while and then even after that you're going to have a toddler to take care of, so if you're wanting a honeymoon, think around twenty years from now when Sizhui's all grown up.
> 
> (the good news for everyone else: the fact that they have a small child later means that they get very, very good at remembering to use silencing charms)

\---

"And finally," Xichen says, "we come to the matter of the innocents."

> in which some arguments will be made that yr humble author was annoyed nobody made in canon

"Innocents?" Clan Leader Ouyang exclaims. "What innocents?" There are murmurs of agreement.

"Indeed!" Clan Leader Yao says, standing. "There are no innocents among the Wen!"

Xichen can see Nie Mingjue scowling. He and Wuxian had succeeded in persuading Nie Mingjue to accept their view on the matter, but he is not particularly enthusiastic about it. (Jiang Fengmian is mild man, by temperament, but in any case, rarely disagrees with Wuxian; the rumours of his favour for his ward are clearly very accurate.)

"What about children?" Xichen asks mildly. "Infants? If you find a newborn child, only hours old, what, would you say, are the child's crimes?"

Clan Leader Yao hesitates, and then blusters again. "If the child is young, and someone is willing to _care_ for it - fine! But the adults are all just as evil as each other!"

Xichen sighs. "Many of the people in the areas under Wen control are not cultivators. They are farmers, artisans, and merchants. They are no more culpable for their actions than the peasants in your areas are for yours. Are you saying that the farmers and villagers have power over you, Clan Leader Yao?"

> WELL ARE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE
> 
> no-one likes you, Yao
> 
> NO-ONE

He does not give him time to answer. "The peasants, the farmers, the villagers are non-combatants and should be left in peace to the best of our ability. What is more, even some cultivators, even some named Wen, are innocent, and have harmed no-one."

"They have done nothing to _prevent_ the Wen from harming others."

"Until now, neither have we," Xichen answers evenly. "Those more directly under Wen Ruohan's control have experienced far more harm than any of us."

> seriously
> 
> not an evil regime in history that didn't fuck over its own people hardest

"The Jiang, Nie, Jin and Lan Sects are in agreement," Jiang Fengmian cuts in. "Mundane people will be left alone. Wen cultivators who surrender, or render assistance, will not be harmed, and their cases will be judged fairly when the campaign is complete."

"We will not destroy the Wen only to become them," Jin Zixuan says firmly.

> look, they tried
> 
> There were still some war crimes but there wasn't a genocide and that's not nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna write this commentary while low on oxygen due to bad asthma day what could go wrong

Wei Wuxian remembers the Sunshot Campaign of his first life.

He remembers how it dragged on. He remembers the death toll, and the mobilisation so total that there were children on the battlefields, brought there to fight for their lives.

> So to me there's a certain amount of inconsistency in the canon, tbh. I mean it could be a translation issue but I can't read Chinese sooo that's what I have to go off.
> 
> But here's the thing about wars: they take a while. Especially to get to the level of _total mobilisation_ that means children fighting, especially especially with people who die as hard as cultivators usually do, and canon definitely features children going to war in the Sunshot Campaign. So this war? Lasts a couple of years, and tbh I still feel like it ends up too rushed.
> 
> I think it's a shorter war than the Sunshot Campaign of his first life should have been, because the allied forces are stronger, this time. The Jiang and Lan are still at more-or-less full strength.

He does not want that to happen again.

He also does not know how much he can do to prevent it.

The war begins.

There are differences, right from the start.

The Jiang Sect is still alive and strong, and Jiang Fengmian leads them into battle.

Wei Wuxian watches legends form.

Of Chifeng-Zun, who battles hard in Hejian to contain that vital front, who sweeps over every obstacle, and leaves no Wen combatants alive.

Of Zewu-Jun, who always seems to appear where he is most needed, who saves lives and turns the tides of countless battles.

And of Sandu Shengshou, who strides across the battlefields with sword and lightning, and leads the advance towards Qishan.

> Not happy about those lines, gave up on fixing them.

At first, he and Lan Zhan roam too. They travel unglamorously, going to places where the lines might weaken to ensure that they do not, reinforcing an advance that might falter.

He knows what he will have to do, but first, the allied sects must draw closer to Qishan, because he also knows that even he has limitations.

> he learned
> 
> Somewhere there's a whole... thing about how and why Wei Wuxian is kinda more chill in this timeline, and how much of it has to do with having Lan Zhan in his life so soon. Not sure I can express it properly today, but it's something like:
> 
> Wei Wuxian codes quite ADHD to me, a person with ADHD, and he also has some issues - abandonment issues, self-esteem issues, a whole lot of _issues_ , and he thrives on attention, even negative attention, to a degree that's almost problematic. Like if he has someone's attention, he's _safer_ , like he won't be at risk of being left behind and forgotten, or something, but also you'll be _grounded_ , because your mind can run away with you so easily. He likes to be liked but if he can't have that, being disliked will do. The only thing worse than people hating you is people not thinking about you at all. The worst thing of all is being _left alone_.
> 
> Even in canon, he became a _lot_ more stable when Lan Zhan stopped letting him out of arm's reach.
> 
> I think the thing between them first started because Wei Wuxian couldn't stand there being someone who ignored him all the time, at the same time as Lan Zhan's attention, when he had it, was so all-consumingly intense that he craved it.
> 
> Which brings us to this timeline, where Wei Wuxian has had Lan Zhan's attention since they were sixteen. They're already married, now, so he has someone to care about all the time - because he _needs_ someone to care about, he cannot, is not psychologically capable of, living for himself, he has to live for other people - and so there's only so far he can go into is own head before Lan Zhan is calling him back. When he's feeling restless, he has Lan Zhan to ground him again.
> 
> ... we'll return to aspects of this in a later chapter, though, but there'll be complications, then. Hopefully I remember I wrote this bit.

It is a time of frantic activity that still seems like they are waiting, marking time.

> War tends to feature a lot of frantic waiting.

The war is not the same as it was before; different paths, different moments that turn events, random chances that fall differently, and then suddenly it is different in the way that seems most important of all.

> There were complicated reasons for this.
> 
> The way most of this story worked was: okay, here's the starting point. Here's everyone's motivations, here's what people know.
> 
> Here's what's different from canon.
> 
> Given the alterations in circumstances, what actions will these people take in response to the events that affect them?
> 
> Okay, so now we're here, at the next step after that: what actions will people take, that fits their characters as I understand them?
> 
> I decided, after agonising for a while about killing his parents, that they would still have A-Yuan, because there's a certain _elasticity of history_ factor in effect because I've read a lot of Terry Pratchett, anyway.
> 
> And then it just ended up being a lot of chronology calculations, and _how does that happen_ , and _Wei Wuxian will still protect the innocents_ , and - this.

\---

The Wen have chosen to retreat through a farming village, and the pursuers are chasing with more enthusiasm than care.

The village is burning. A handful of survivors are fleeing, and a few cultivators break off as if to pursue them. An old woman stumbles and falls, not far ahead of them.

Lan Wangji sees Wei Ying land hard, slamming Suibian into the ground, and a line of dust kicks up, knocking the pursuers back for a moment.

"Do they look like cultivators to you?" Wei Ying bellows. "Focus on your task! If you harm a single peasant, you will answer to me!"

Wei Ying is pale, and the light of the burning village reflects in his eyes. Lan Wangji has never seen Wei Ying look quite so furious.

The Nie and Jin sect cultivators back away and rejoin the others as Wei Wuxian kneels by the old woman. "It's all right, Granny," he says quietly. "Are you hurt?"

She shakes her head fearfully, and he helps her to her feet. "Go -" he starts to say, and then his head snaps up.

> Yes, it's that Granny. She's not actually A-Yuan's grandmother, she's just an old woman who ended up with a lot of primary childcare duties and she _did_ love him, but this Granny will find her own family again, and Wei Wuxian will leave her in peace.

Lan Wangji hears nothing.

Not far away is a burning house. Part of it has already collapsed.

Lan Wangji follows as Wei Ying runs to it, but he can't see how anyone could get through the flames alive, even if there's something there.

For a moment he is desperately afraid that Wei Ying will run into the fire, but he doesn't; he puts Baohu to his lips and plays a short, urgent melody.

Long moments pass.

And then something emerges from the flames.

Lan Wangji has been going on night hunts for years. He has seen many terrible things. He is not certain that any were as terrible as the sight of a human body, burned almost to a skeleton, walking through the fire, carrying something utterly surrounded by curling dark energy.

> This is supposed to be pretty gruesome, not sure it carries it off as well as it should.

It takes a few stumbling steps outside, and thrusts the thing it carries towards Wei Ying, who accepts it gravely.

It stands very still.

"Yes," Wei Ying says. "I promise. Rest, now."

> The anguished spirit of A-Yuan's mother looked around and saw Wei Wuxian, who looks very, very different to ghosts; his soul has a resonance they can call to, and there is a harmonic to it for _this_ anguished spirit, because one of the things that he carries, soul-deep, is love for her child.
> 
> Why is not a question the last remnants of spiritual cognition is going to ask, when she can be calling him and begging him to love her son as she did.

The body collapses.

"I'm sorry," Wei Ying says softly. "I wish I knew your name." He looks down and gently waves away the darkness, revealing the thing that could hold a spirit to so ruined a body.

It's a sleeping child. A baby, very young.

> 3-4 months.

"Hello, A-Yuan," Wei Ying says softly.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji has many questions.

"She hid him in the oven," Wei Ying says, still very quiet. "But that still wouldn't have been enough."

He looks up, and his expression is... very strange. "Lan Zhan. This is our son."

> Wei Ying is feeling many things.
> 
> Sorrow is one of them, because they're surrounded by death every day and they're numb to it, but he's still viscerally aware that he just talked to A-Yuan's mother, a woman whose existence was largely hypothetical before, and this is a moment where A-Yuan just lost something very important that he wanted the kid to keep.
> 
> He _agonised_ about what to do if he ever found A-Yuan again. He was going to check in on the kid, make sure he was loved, happy, had every opportunity, but he wanted him to have his parents.
> 
> But A-Yuan's birth parents are still dead, so his son will have his _other_ parents, but Wei Ying needs a run-up to get to the point where he's happy about it.

\---

They fly back to the field hospital - not the nearest, in fact, but the one commanded by Jiang-guniang. Wei Ying lands and runs to look for his sister without even picking up Suibian. Lan Wangji collects it for him, and follows.

"Shijie," Wei Ying calls. "Shijie!"

Jiang-guniang emerges from a tent. "A-Xian? Are you wounded? Is Wangji -"

"No," Wei Ying cuts her off. "No, it's - I need milk, I need - I - look."

"Oh A-Xian," she says. She places a gentle hand on his, cradling the baby against his chest. The baby started to whimper when they were only most of the way here, and Wei Ying became almost frantic immediately. "Is this..."

"It's A-Yuan," he says. "My A-Yuan. He was trapped, in a house, it was burning, his mother called me, and I don't know what to do, shijie, he could walk and eat real food, before!"

> He's pretty much there, by this point, his whole emotional landscape has realigned around _loving_ _A-Yuan_ , but now he's freaking out, because parenthood is stressful even when you have time to prepare, and he's _not prepared for this_. Seriously, it's a lot easier to take care of a child when they're old enough to eat solids.

Lan Wangji thinks he understands. This child, it would seem, is one Wei Ying knew... before, somehow, and perhaps had adopted? And now he intends to adopt him again, but the child requires more care. This makes sense. Lan Wangji also knows very little about infants. The disciplines of the Lan Sect do not contain any rules specific to babies. But the sight of Wei Ying holding him, holding their son, does something very strange to his chest.

> Lan Zhan is also experiencing the emotional deadening effect of ongoing trauma which is why it's taking him whole minutes to fall life-changingly in love.

"Give him to me," Jiang-guniang commands. Wei Ying releases the child only reluctantly, and when Jiang-guniang takes a step back, he follows. "No, A-Xian. Stay here. There is a refugee woman who has a baby of her own, and might have the kindness this once to play wetnurse for A-Yuan, but she does not need you to stand over her, covered in smoke and blood. I will keep my nephew safe."

> Jiang Yanli has heard of A-Yuan, and she knows her A-Xian loved him as if he were his own son, and let's just all assume that anyone who tried to hurt this kid would be a fine red mist before they got within ten feet.

Jiang-guniang is the only person Lan Wangji has ever met with such an ability to command obedience from Wei Ying, who does not follow her, but paces anxiously while they wait.

 _Our son_ , Wei Ying had said. Lan Wangji considers that, and finds he likes the idea. A son. Their son. He will teach him the rules, and Wei Ying will teach him how to get around the rules, and their son will be perfect, like Wei Ying.

> I like this line.

"Oh no," Wei Ying says suddenly, and comes close, and clutches at Lan Zhan's arm. "Lan Zhan, I - are we even ready to be parents? Did you want children? You raised Lan Yuan, before, but -"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says. Wei Ying will not stop talking if he does not interrupt. "Our son."

Wei Ying smiles like the sunrise.

> And that moment.

\---

After a time, Jiang-guniang returns with their son.

"You should take him home," Jiang-guniang says. "We can't really help enough here, and you can't take him back to the battlefields, of course." She smiles at Wei Ying. "He is beautiful, A-Xian." She gently kisses their son's head, and then she moves towards Lan Wangji.

"Has Wangji had a chance to hold him yet?" she asks.

And then. Jiang-guniang places the baby in his arms.

He is very very small.

Jiang-guniang gently corrects his hold. "Like this," she says. "He must be very secure."

He is holding their son. Their son is blinking up at him sleepily.

> langwangji.exe has encountered a problem and has shut down
> 
> his entire soul just melted and is being recast in a new form

"A-Xian," he hears Jiang-guniang say. He cannot interpret her tone, but he finds himself unable to look away from their son. He wonders if he should be concerned by this sudden compulsion. What if their son carries some kind of curse?

"I know, shijie," Wei Ying says. "I really am very lucky."

\---

Wei Wuxian has always thought that Lan Zhan is the most beautiful person in the world. (Shijie doesn't count. Shijie is her own specific category.)

He was not prepared for this.

No-one could have prepared for the sight of shijie placing the tiniest A-Yuan into Lan Zhan's arms, still so very small and already theirs, _theirs_ , because Lan Zhan is already his husband. Lan Zhan, standing tall and straight and as perfectly flawless as ever, looking down at their son and smiling.

"A-Xian," shijie says softly.

"I know, shijie," he says. "I really am very lucky." Lan Zhan's smiles are rare, and usually only for him. He knows most people think Lan Zhan is cold, even icy, and he's mostly happy for them to think so; Lan Zhan would not be comfortable if too many people were trying to be close to him, and anyway, Lan Zhan is _his_.

But he likes that shijie has seen this. Seen the warmth of him, can see that Lan Zhan keeps his distance because he feels too much, not too little. Shijie can be trusted with this.

And he likes that shijie has seen just how truly beautiful Lan Zhan can be, because if it should happen that she's only agreeing to marry Jin Zixuan because he's pretty, then she will surely call it off, now that she can compare him to the image of Lan Zhan holding a baby and smiling.

> Jiang Yanli: so you admit he's pretty

\---

Wei Wuxian carries A-Yuan on the flight back to Lotus Pier. While heart-meltingly adorable, Lan Zhan's enraptured inability to look away when he holds their son would probably be unsafe for air travel.

A-Yuan is asleep when they land outside the wards, but he suspects it won't be too long before he needs to be fed again.

> it's a long trip and children need refueling at inconvenient frequency

\---

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says, before they enter. "Our son." He tries to work out how to say what he wants to - that it has been _hours_ since he held their son, that his arms ache from the absence, that he knows that they cannot stay away from the battlefields, that they will have to _leave their son_ , and he is not sure that he will survive that if he cannot hold their son again first.

> And there it is.

Wei Ying seems to understand. Wei Ying smiles and places their son in Lan Wangji's arms again, and only then do they enter Lotus Pier.

They stop in the courtyard, and Wei Ying orders a boy to go, and find Madam Yu, and tell her that Wei Wuxian is here, but everything is all right with her family. This is correct. Madam Yu is waiting, ready to defend Lotus Pier, while her husband and her children are at war.

> you do not tell someone "come quick it's an emergency" in this situation, you just don't

They have a brief wait while she is located. Lan Wangji is not sure how long. He is very busy. He is looking at their sleeping son. It takes all of his attention. He is compelled to examine every smallest detail, to lock him in his memory forever.

> good boy, locking people you love _in your memory_ is allowed

Madam Yu has arrived. "Wei Ying," he hears her say, "what - oh. Is this?"

She is moving towards Lan Wangji and their son. That is acceptable. Madam Yu has been very helpful. She is unlikely to pose a threat to their son.

"Yes, shimu," Wei Ying says. "This is A-Yuan. We found him. His house was on fire, and his parents had already died. His mother called me."

"Look at that face," Madam Yu says. "He really is beautiful."

This is correct, if puzzling. Lan Wangji is taller than Madam Yu, and she is not yet very close. He is unsure how she could see their son's face from where she is standing, but her conclusion, however she reached it, is nonetheless flawless. Their son is the only thing Lan Wangji has ever seen that is as beautiful as Wei Ying.

> yeah she means you, sparky

Lan Wangji has a terrible realisation. When he met Wei Ying, Wei Ying was already nearly grown. He changes very little, and slowly. Babies this small do not last very long _at all_. Their son will be different by the time he and Wei Ying return again from battle.

> This hurts. This hurt me to write.

It is vitally important that the Wen are destroyed as quickly as possible, Lan Wangji concludes. The longer the Sunshot Campaign takes, the more time he will have to spend separated from their son.

Madam Yu has come closer. Lan Wangji bends sufficiently to permit her to see their son properly.

"How wonderful," Madam Yu says. Her voice is warm. "Bring him inside immediately. Wei Ying, go to my bedroom. Bring me the silk blankets from the second cabinet, and the linens from the third."

> He will have to work out which one is second and third but the contents will make it obvious enough, which is fortunate because he has literally never been to her part of Lotus Pier before in any one of his lives.

"Eh? Why?" Wei Ying sounds confused.

"Wei Ying," Madam Yu says. Her voice, suddenly, is cold. "Do you think that it is _acceptable_ to swaddle my grandson in scorched rags?"

> She
> 
> has
> 
> STANDARDS

Lan Wangji considers this question, and considers it valid. Wei Ying is sometimes quite foolish. It is good that his family will step in to correct his errors in this way.

\---

Wei Wuxian remembers being hungry, eating as sparingly as he could to ensure there would be more food to give A-Yuan, and still not having enough for him.

He remembers A-Yuan in filthy rags, patched and mended.

Now he looks at A-Yuan being wrapped in fine linen and silk.

He is, he thinks, okay with this.

> you say that now but in 18-20 years time it's going to be weird as hell to you that he's taller than you remember after all that early childhood nutrition and lack-of-severe-illness

Madam Yu had torn some of her finest blankets into appropriate-sized pieces without a moment's hesitation.

> Here's the thing:
> 
> A-Yuan gets nothing but the _best_ of everything Madam Yu has to give him, including herself. They spend a lot of his early childhood together, and they will always be close, because Madam Yu forces herself to learn, among other things, _to be loving_.
> 
> According to my research/childhood friends' experiences, it's actually very normal for grandparents in China to be heavily involved in their grandchildren's lives and care, but there's no way to know if that's also been true in _this_ society because having grandparents who _aren't dead_ seems like it's kind of not a thing, really.
> 
> Cultivators: "We're out to become immortal!"
> 
> Also cultivators: "But we die young a _lot_."
> 
> Realistically, it's highly unlikely that there's an expectation of grandparental involvement in childcare if every generation is like this, but if this generation is unusual for the ways in which all of their grandparents appear to have died before they were even born, then... it used to be, but now it isn't, because they didn't grow up like that, _none of them have grandparents_. So it's kind of a maybe.
> 
> Because, and I need people to understand this, a _low fantasy fictional universe which draws inspiration from a whimsical collection of Chinese historical and cultural influences_ is not the same thing as real life in a real culture. Culture doesn't exist in a vacuum, and existing conditions affect how it works and how it changes, and then when it gets written by new writers, that changes things too. If you want your stories to read like they were written by a Chinese person, read only stories written by Chinese people, because cultural nuance _does not translate_. Cultural differences are evident even in populations that speak the same language. I've had to work through cultural differences causing friction between us with my best friend, and we grew up _half a city apart_. But I'm a first-generation immigrant, and she's not. I couldn't write Australian culture and make it sound like a native wrote it, because I'm _not one_. I couldn't write _any_ culture and sound native. I'm a product of the cultural influences of at least six different cultures, and I'm at least slightly foreign in _all of them_.
> 
> Seriously though, it seems like sect leaders just don't live long enough to get old, ever. You'd think even _one_ of the featured sect heirs would have an intervening generation because their grandfather's the actual sect leader, but apparently not so much.

A-Yuan has been bathed, and dried, and returned to Lan Zhan's arms, because Lan Zhan has already become very, very attached.

Wei Wuxian is carefully repressing his realisation that Lan Zhan holding a baby is _painfully_ hot.

"The timing may be quite good, under the circumstances," Madam Yu is saying. "Madam Ce, in the town, has a child who is old enough to be weaned. I've sent the boys to ask her if she would be kind enough to come to see me. If she's willing, I can hire her as a wetnurse." She brushes her fingertips gently over A-Yuan's head, the dusting of dark hair there. "Such a precious boy," she murmurs.

> Her children: idiot boy, stupid boy, foolish boy
> 
> Her grandchildren: precious boy, perfect boy

Wei Wuxian smiles. "Your grandson?"

Madam Yu sniffs. "Yes. My grandson. I told you I would not dishonour your mother's memory by claiming her son as my own. But whose house was A-Yuan brought to? Whose blankets warm him? Who will care for this perfect boy while his parents are pulled from him by duty? A-Yuan is _my_ grandson." She turns to Wei Wuxian. "And you! Be sure that you come home to him. He has been an orphan once. Don't you _dare_ make it twice."

> Wei Ying is no longer even on "come home in glory but come home", he is now at "come home OR ELSE"

"Yes, shimu."

\---

Leaving A-Yuan is difficult, even if he'll be safer here, even if he genuinely trusts that Madam Yu will care for him and protect him fiercely. Madam Yu's children survived infancy, she knows what she's doing, and given that A-Yuan the first time survived his own early infancy in prison, labour camps, and the Yiling Burial Mounds to become a pretty much perfect young man, Lotus Pier and Madam Yu will be fine for him.

But even if Wei Wuxian wanted to leave him behind - and he doesn't - Lan Zhan's pain is vast and visible.

He should have remembered that Lan Zhan met a toddler he didn't even see as his own and bought him _one of everything_ at the toy stall. That Lan Zhan, when he loves, loves immediately and completely.

That Lan Zhan, when confronted with: "Surprise! We've been married hardly any time at all, and we're in the middle of a war. Meet your new son!" would fall instantly and irrevocably and completely in love.

> yup

In this life, Wei Wuxian had run at full speed straight into Lan Zhan's arms because he didn't want to watch Lan Zhan walk away like he was leaving pieces of himself behind, not again.

And yet, here they are.

He finds himself wondering if this is fate's cruel joke; that Wei Wuxian simply will not be permitted to keep Lan Zhan's heart from breaking.

> look I didn't LIKE writing it this way, Wei Wuxian, but war isn't nice

They have already been away from the front too long.

They take flight and return to war.

\---

He tells himself they'll visit often.

They don't. They can't. There's too much to do, too many places they need to be, too many desperate fights and frantic rescues, too many nights they slump, too exhausted to go anywhere. Lan Zhan fights with a fury born of lost time and desperation, blazing into battle everywhere they go, always at the front where things are darkest.

Wei Wuxian calls him Hanguang-Jun by reflex, and is not surprised that it spreads.

He fights, they fight, and Wei Wuxian does not yet make the dead rise. He doesn't, even though the war, in some places, is desperate, even though the dead are already numerous.

Because there is a cost to it, and there is only so much he will be able to pay, and he dares not spend his coin too soon.

Because he's not sure Jin Guangyao was wrong, when he said that Wei Wuxian would always end up besieged.

And he knows, he knows, that he simply could not let himself be taken, any more than he had before. Not when the people who would refuse to abandon him would always pay the price - he knows himself, he knows the limits of his kindness and compassion, and he knows that for Lan Zhan and shijie and Jiang Cheng he would kill thousands again without so much as a moment's regret - he'd just do it better, sooner, harder.

He will protect the ones he loves. He will care for the innocent. These things he will do. Where it does not conflict with those goals, he will forgive the complicit and show mercy to the guilty, but only then.

So many people never understood that the driving force of the Yiling Patriarch was not lust for power, was not evil, was not any kind of villainy.

It was love. Wei Wuxian knows that his is the kind of love that can burn entire continents, and that he must guard against letting it become necessary for it to do so.

Such is wisdom.

> This is an important thing for Wei Wuxian to have realised.
> 
> He is very, very powerful, and he is kind by nature, but the thing is that while he is always ready to sacrifice _himself_ for what he believes is right, he has come to learn that the costs are not always _just him_.
> 
> If things followed the path they did before, he wouldn't be hesitating and trying to threaten people to the point where they leave him alone.
> 
> Someone organises a pledge conference in which they're all pledging to destroy him or die trying, he's taking them up on that second option and no-one's leaving alive.
> 
> Because if the choice is killing three thousand people who want him dead, or trying to end things peacefully, but that gets Jiang Yanli killed?
> 
> Those three thousand people are going to die before they have time to raise a weapon near his shijie.
> 
> Best to avoid it, if possible.

\---

Days become weeks become months. Wei Wuxian receives messages from Madam Yu that tell him his son is alive, is well, is thriving, is growing. Wei Wuxian delivers messages to Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen that tell them that the Wen are disposed so, are planning this, are moving there.

Often he fights alongside Hanguang-Jun. Sometimes they are separated, and he knows that Lan Zhan will be afraid every moment until they are together again.

He is twice too late to prevent the Wen from making their shameful attacks on the field hospitals that care for the wounded and arrange for the disposition of the ever more numerous refugees. The first is the one under shijie's command, and when he arrives, shijie is leading a motley collection of cultivators who are mostly the walking wounded in defense, and has held off the Wen because she is powerful, so powerful, when she is protecting the people under her care. With his assistance, they are driven back completely.

The second is not so blessed as to have shijie there, and when he arrives, he finds the bodies of the doctors, of the wounded, of the refugees, and he finds the Wen eating from the stores of the hospital, and he feels himself reaching for Baohu before he really thinks about it, the two halves of the Stygian Tiger Seal snapping together of their own accord.

There are no survivors at all. There are also no witnesses.

> He could have pretended that didn't happen but in some ways he's an addict who just had a hit of something pure and strong after _years_ of sobriety.

But the Seal is in play, now. Wei Wuxian is in play. After so many years, it seems he had forgotten what it felt like to wield the Stygian Tiger Seal truly, and this new one is better than the first - more control, more finesse, more _power_ , because the first was forged in desperation by a youth barely clinging to his sanity, and this one was crafted with care by one who had been an expert in the use of the first, in concert with the greatest expert on magical tools and weapons who has ever lived.

So when Wei Wuxian returns to find his husband hard-pressed and badly outnumbered, at the head of a battle line that is faltering, he reaches for his flute and not his sword.

> Not ominous at all, this.


	15. Chapter 15

Lan Wangji is exhausted. He is still fighting largely because there exists no alternative; he has a husband, and a son, and either would be sufficient for the possibility of defeat not to be permitted.

He takes no particular pride in the knowledge that he is one of the greatest cultivators of his generation. It is simply a fact. The cultivation of the lesser Wen is inferior; they have perhaps been too arrogant too long for it to be otherwise, but they have numbers, and Lan Wangji is surrounded.

> The Wen had powerful cultivators, but the rank and file? bitches
> 
> Meanwhile, I think that Lan Wangji isn't actually very proud, as a person. Especially not of the "Twin Jade of Lan" stuff. He is who he is, and to take pride in that would require that he feel like he made some kind of conscious decision, and he didn't. He did what he was supposed to do, what he was expected to do.
> 
> He was rewarded with the absence of punishment, not with _actual rewards_.
> 
> He's proud to be Wei Ying's husband, because that's something he chose, and because _Wei Ying chose him_ , when - in Lan Zhan's view - Wei Ying could have had _anyone_ , because who _wouldn't_ want someone as beautiful and amazing and brilliant as Wei Ying? He's going to be proud to be A-Yuan's father, because A-Yuan is perfect and wonderful and _theirs._ But being a strong cultivator or whatever? Nah, not really.

Wei Ying has been away some time; if Lan Wangji can hold them off long enough for Wei Ying to return from his efforts to relieve the field hospital, they will, again, come through. He is confident.

> It is pretty much axiomatic for him that he and Wei Ying, together, will get through anything.
> 
> Which... they are, in combination, pretty fucking powerful, so.

So he fights.

And fights, until he is on the verge of collapse, and it is then that he hears the sound of a flute.

Wei Ying.

The Wen around him begin to scatter. There are new foes for them to engage, he realises, and when the last of his foes is sent flying away from him, Lan Wangji can dare to turn around.

He sees Wei Ying.

He has, in the past, heard vaguely of what Wei Ying was. He knows that Wei Ying was powerful, and that he was feared, and he sees, at last, _why_.

This is not the brilliant boy with the smile like the sunrise who brought light and warmth into Lan Wangji's cold, austere life, or the radiant, playful man Lan Wangji married.

This is the Wei Ying who mastered demonic cultivation.

Wei Ying is floating above the battlefield, Suibian still tucked into his belt, with dark energy curling around him and a wind that exists only for him whipping at his hair.

The fires of the battlefield reflect in his eyes. The Stygian Tiger Seal floats above his shoulder, glimmers of jade light almost completely obscured by the darkness that fumes around it.

> it's really hard to write iconic and powerful imagery when you have aphantasia, I hope this worked

And everywhere around them, the dead march.

The bodies of friend and foe alike are rising, are moving, are charging. Too newly passed even to be stiff, only the black marks that crawl along their veins and the blank whiteness of their eyes truly show that this is the army of the dead.

It's a rout.

The line of the Wen shudders, and breaks, and even as they turn to flee they are overrun. After this bloody a battle, the numbers of the dead are many, and each new body that falls rises in turn to fall upon their former comrades.

Only when there is not a single living Wen to be seen does the music stop. The dead tremble like leaves in the wind, and collapse.

Wei Ying floats to the ground, a strange light in his eyes.

Lan Wangji looks at his husband, and is afraid.

He is so very, very afraid for Wei Ying.

> For, not of, is a very important distinction here.

\---

The war, until then, had been hanging in the balance.

Now, the allied sects have an incontrovertible edge, but progress is still slow. Wei Wuxian can not be everywhere.

They are still pushed to their limits.

Wei Wuxian does not permit Lan Zhan to play _Cleansing_ for him. Lan Zhan is running too close to the limit of his spiritual energy; he is still young, and Wei Wuxian needs him to be mobile, to be there, to be with him, because most of all he needs the one person who can stop this if it needs to be stopped.

They still move from crisis to crisis, and everywhere, the dead march.

Days become weeks become months, and they are approaching the Nightless City.

> It's worth noting, when considering his forthcoming breakdown, that he hasn't seen his son in _over a_ _year_. The war has taken a _lifetime_ \- his son's lifetime.

He has no illusions about how he looks, now. He knows that his skin has become pale, his eyes are red-rimmed, that he looks sick. Somewhere along the way his Jiang Sect robes had taken too much damage to be salvaged, and the replacements he found were black and red, and he wondered, again, at fate's dark sense of humour.

In their rare moments of rest, he finds himself turning Baohu in his hands, examining minutely the snow-white flute and the white ribbon on his wrist, reminding himself that this is here, and now, and he is not the person he was. He feels for his golden core, sometimes - he's been pushing so hard, riding the edge of the limits of his spiritual energy, that sometimes he thinks it's gone again, and he can't breathe until he locates it, dim with exhaustion but _there_.

He's so, so tired.

\---

Nie Mingjue kneels unwillingly in the Sun Palace in the Nightless City.

He is angry. He is often angry, but currently he is angry at himself.

Wei Wuxian had warned him against going too far, too fast, against letting his forces be drawn ahead of the rest. The boy had been _adamant_.

> _he tried to tell you, Nie Mingjue_

Nie Mingjue had been so sure that his advance was justified, that the lines would not leave a gap sufficient for encirclement.

> I think Nie Mingjue has a flaw in that he has a tendency to expect other people to be able to keep up with him, when he's actually kind of spectacularly badass.

And yet, here he is.

A prisoner of Wen Ruohan.

Wen Xu is standing in front of the group of Nie cultivators. Wen Ruohan is on the throne. A woman is standing near the throne, watching the scene impassively.

> So the attack on the Cloud Recesses didn't go so well, so Wen Xu got recalled sooner, especially since Wen Ruohan didn't have a Meng Yao to do this.

"Welcome," Wen Xu says, "to the Sun Palace. Look well upon your masters."

"Sun Palace?" one of the cultivators to the side spits out. "This is only the den of the Wen-dogs!"

Wen Xu's expression changes, and he draws his sword. Blood flies, and there is angry screaming.

Another cultivator roars, "You Wen-dog! If you're so confident, why don't you kill me as well?"

Wen Xu does.

Standing in the pool of blood, he smiles and asks, "Does anyone else want to say it?"

Nie Mingjue says, loudly and clearly, "Wen-dog."

He's going to die. He has nothing to fear.

> When the fall is all that's left...

Wen Xu smirks, and claps his hands. One of the Wen brings a long box forward, from which Wen Xu takes Baxia, Nie Mingjue's own sabre. Nie Mingjue scowls to see Baxia profaned by the hands of Wen Xu.

There are dim sounds of shouts and the sound of something impacting the doors. Wen Xu frowns, and looks towards them.

> getting distracted near a murderously angry Nie Mingjue carries a government warning that it can be bad for your health

Nie Mingjue lunges, wrenches Baxia from his hand and cuts his throat with it in a single motion, spins and cuts down the Wen cultivators grouped around the prisoners.

> live like a Wen-dog, die like a bitch

The palace doors crash open.

Nie Mingjue looks back towards Wen Ruohan, but for all that the Wen Sect Leader has always been fearless, and is known to be a very powerful cultivator indeed, Wen Ruohan is standing frozen, motionless.

He does not move as Nie Mingjue approaches.

He does not move as Nie Mingjue raises his sabre.

He does not move until Nie Mingjue swings, beheading him cleanly, and Wen Ruohan falls to the ground.

> In the book canon, I can't remember CQL, Wen Ruohan is _kicking Nie Mingjue's ass_ until he gets stabbed in the back by Meng Yao.
> 
> In _this_ timeline, Wen Ruohan started to move and then Wen Qing threw needles at him with extreme precision and he was paralysed and he is very silently and unmovingly _losing his mind_ at this betrayal.

Nie Mingjue turns to the woman, whose face, through all of this, has been utterly impassive.

> If Wen Qing let her feelings show on her face just because she saw people getting murdered or incapacitated her sect leader so he could be killed she wouldn't be the queen we know today.

She stood at Wen Ruohan's side, she watched as Wen Xu murdered his men.

> yeah, she wasn't a fan of that, but getting herself killed trying to stop it would not have saved a single one of his men and she has been making _but will taking this risk actually make enough of a difference to be worth it_ calculations since she was a child.
> 
> Wen Qing will do the right thing if it can _make a significant difference_ , even if it's dangerous for her.
> 
> She will not throw her life when she knows it will definitely make no difference at all.

Nie Mingjue raises his sabre.

"Sect Leader Nie!" comes a voice from behind him. "Stop!"

The voice is familiar, and he hesitates.

> It's a very good thing that he does, because the consequences if he does in fact try to kill Wen Qing are not ones anyone wants to deal with.

Takes a wary step back, and glances to see his allies storming the Sun Palace. Jiang Fengmian's son, and Lan Xichen and his brother, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian, and a motley collection of others from lesser sects.

> Nie Mingjue knows who people like Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan are, vaguely, but they're just... attachments, at this time.
> 
> Later he will love Jiang Cheng very much and be literally the only person who is permitted to call Jiang Cheng "little brother" but at this time? Jiang Fengmian's son.

Most of the others slow, taking in the scene, but Wei Wuxian runs, doesn't stop until he has placed his body between Nie Mingjue and the Wen woman. Only Lan Xichen's brother keeps pace with him, and places himself between Nie Mingjue and Wei Wuxian.

> Wei Wuxian will place himself between Wen Qing and danger
> 
> Lan Zhan will be annoyed by this and place himself between Wei Ying and danger

"She's not an enemy," he says, and Nie Mingjue feels anger rising again.

"She was standing next to Wen Ruohan! She watched -"

Wei Wuxian nods. "She did. She didn't have a choice. She also stopped Wen Ruohan." He leans down to Wen Ruohan's corpse, and plucks three bright silver needles from the body. "See? She's a doctor. A very, very good doctor. And besides," Wei Wuxian looks like he's been very ill, lately, but his smile is still bright. "You know all those reports I've been bringing, of the Wen formations and movements and plans? I got them from her."

> Wen Qing is a brilliant prodigy and Wen Ruohan, canonically, was very proud of her and liked to show her off. In this timeline, Wei Wuxian had offered her a favour, and she didn't think she cared until everything started to go sour and she was _more_ than smart enough to see that this was likely going to go very, very badly for the Wen. So she made contact with Wei Wuxian and set up her end-of-war survival plan for, _in order_ , her brother and as many others as they could manage.

Nie Mingjue looks at the woman. She inclines her head fractionally.

"I am Wen Qing," she says. "I am the sister of the new Wen Sect Leader. On behalf of the Wen who remain: we surrender."

> Female sect leaders seem pretty rare and I assume that the Wen are patriarchal as fuck and the line of succession doesn't include girls, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning's father was Wen Ruohan's cousin, so Wen Ning's definitely going to be on it.

\---

It turns out that she means it.

Wen Qing has a brother named Wen Qionglin, and it seems that Wen Qionglin has taken a small cadre of cultivators and has spent the war collecting children and peasants and hiding them in the hinterlands of Qishan. Apparently in the line of succession of the Wen, everyone between Wen Xu and Wen Qionglin has already died, and now so have Wen Xu and Wen Ruohan.

> yes obviously Wen Qing has been tracking this carefully and obviously between the limited input she had at strategic meetings and the intel she has been passing to Wei Wuxian, she was carefully ensuring that every asshole who was ahead of her brother would die, because nobody between Wen Ruohan and A-Ning was worth spit

Wen Qionglin is brought forth. He carries a bow and a quiver and his sword, and when a voice from the crowd demands that he should surrender his weapons, Wen Qionglin takes them off immediately, and bows, and hurries earnestly to offer them, standing on his toes to peer over the crowd, trying to find the one who demanded them, and looks mildly distraught when he can't.

> they _asked_ and he _can't_

"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian calls, "take his weapons, would you?"

Jiang Fengmian's son does so, and Wen Qionglin bows to him several times and thanks "Jiang-gongzi" repeatedly.

> look if you don't love Wen Ning dont' say so I don't need that kind of negativity

_This_ is a _Wen_? This is the person who is being put forward as the _Wen Sect Leader_?

Wen Qionglin then turns his back on the crowd and approaches Wen Qing. "Sister," he says, "I told everyone to stop fighting. Some of them didn't want to, but I think they're all dead now." He turns to Wei Wuxian. "Wei-qianbei, it is wonderful to see you!" He frowns. "Sister, Wei-qianbei is very pale. Is he sick? Wei-qianbei, my sister is the best doctor, you should -"

> several people present: mad he turned his back
> 
> Wen Ning: but like I have to talk to my sister and she's over there

"Wen Ning!" Wei Wuxian says, laughing. "I am well enough, and all of that can wait. You have to be a Sect Leader now, and talk to the other Sect Leaders."

Wen Qionglin looks nervous, and swallows. "M-Me?"

> are you sure about this, Senior Wei, because um

\---

In the last Sunshot Campaign, the one that only exists in Wei Wuxian's memory, there had been no negotiations of peace. There had only been slaughter.

So this is new.

And kind of entertaining.

> Wei Wuxian with the wild mood swings right now

The leaders of the minor sects shout their demands, all various levels of unreasonable, for the wrongs they had actually experienced at the hands of the Wen or for the part they had played in their defeat, and also for wrongs they did _not_ experience, and the parts they _did not_ play.

> look Sect Leader Yao is there, there's gonna be some bullshit

And Wen Ning just bows, and says okay, almost as if he's just trying to take notes, even when some of those demands are mutally exclusive, until finally Nie Mingjue apparently _cannot take it any more._

> It's like Huaisang only _more so_

"ENOUGH!" he bellows. "SILENCE!"

Scowling, he stomps up to Wen Ning, who takes several steps backwards until he comes up against Wen Qing, who grabs his collar and holds him in place.

> Wen Qing is completely deadpan when she does that too, because she's pretty sure Sect Leader Nie isn't stabby-angry, he's exasperated-angry, there's a certain level of soul-deep big sibling recognition between the two of them here.

"Er," Wen Ning says. "Sect Leader Nie ?" He's fiddling nervously with the ends of his belt. It's _painfully_ adorable, Wei Wuxian thinks, and apparently even Nie Mingjue - prepared by a lifetime of Nie Huaisang to buckle in the face of sweetly useless young men – can’t resist, and sighs.

> Nie Mingjue loves Wen Ning very very much and Nie Huaisang is going to find it _fucking hilarious to watch_.

He turns to the assembled cultivators. "The discussion of terms can be completed later. For now we will see to the wounded and the end of hostilities, and then," he glares at Wen Ning, "we will decide which concessions _honour_ demands of the Wen."

> NO WEN NING YOU CANNOT GIVE YOUR ENTIRE SECT AWAY

\---

The war is over.

A flurry of messages go out.

The leaders (and heirs, and Wei Wuxian, who is not officially anyone very important at all, but who is nonetheless expected to behave like someone very important indeed, and he can't tell if that thought makes him tired or if he is simply, already, very very tired) are to return to Jinlintai.

> There's these weirdly conflicting expectations of Wei Wuxian. Because, seriously, he's the son of a servant, and he's the Jiang Sect senior disciple, but... no-one else's senior disciples seem to get the kind of pressure he does on... everything.
> 
> He's over it.

He doesn't want to.

He wants to go home. He wants to see A-Yuan, and then he wants to sleep for a month.

> and very tired.

He feels the fury at the people who would _dare_ to suggest they have any authority over him, any right to expectations of him, is shaking with it, and under it he feels the fear, because he knows this feeling. He has done too much, has corroded his own spirit, and he doesn't care, he wants to break them all under his will, and he knows that he _can_.

> And, seriously, he has actually done some pretty significant harm to himself. Shijie's ward ran out like a year ago.

The fear makes him angrier.

He sees Lan Xichen is watching him, like he thinks he knows him, like he thinks he can _judge_ him, and feels his lip curl, but before he can speak, Lan Zhan is in front of him, and Jiang Cheng is at one side, and Jin Zixuan at the other.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, softly, urgently, but this isn't getting him home, isn't getting him any nearer to his _son_ , and how _dare_ -

He can hear voices, distantly, and then Lan Zhan is kissing him, sweet and earnest and strangely desperate, here in front of all of the gentry of the cultivation world, and he's realising how long it's been since they've had even this, and his rage falls into the background as he loses himself in Lan Zhan's arms.

> This is one of those things that _will not always work_ , but it works the first time, and this is when they really, really needed it. It's problematic, but they were _desperate_ , because Wei Wuxian didn't realise it but he was _losing his shit_ and even though he doesn't know his secret, Zixuan knows that Wei Wuxian is _extremely_ powerful and they _do not_ want that showdown to happen.

\---

Zixuan untenses as Wuxian melts into Lan Wangji's kiss. Crisis averted.

Wuxian's furiously muttered rage had been slightly terrifying, and ordering Lan Wangji to kiss him had been the only diversion he could think of.

> He's a romantic at heart.

"It fucking _pains me_ that that worked," Wanyin says, scowling. "I'll send my mother a message to meet us at Jinlintai. And then I'm going to break his legs, because _what son_?"

"Tell her it's urgent," Zixuan suggests, "and that Jinlintai will be happy to supply anything she might need if she arrives without luggage of any kind."

> please don't stop to pack

"All right." Wanyin's message away, he turns back to Zixuan. "If she's angry when she finds out about Wei Wuxian sucking face with his husband in front of literally everyone who matters, I'm telling her it was your idea, because it _was_."

> at least he's not wearing Jiang colours? probably doesn't help much tbh

"Mmhm," Zixuan says, and turns to the crowd, many of whom are in fact staring, and wishes A-Yao were here. He's good at people in a way that Zixuan has never been. He tries to think what A-Yao might say. "Friends, I'm sure we're all equally sympathetic to these two renowned cultivators, who were married only days before the outbreak of war, and are _anxious to give them some privacy at this time_. Please, let us all return to Jinlintai, where I am sure that my brother will have food and rooms prepared for us all."

> Jin Guangyao: ... good try!

He really was sure of the last part; he'd already dispatched a message of his own, and A-Yao is truly gifted as an administrator. He is deeply grateful to have him.

> Jin Zixuan loves his lil bro

\---

The return to Jinlintai is an operation executed like a battle plan.

> they're pretty used to those now

Jiang Cheng stretches himself to race ahead, and finds A-Jie, who returned to Lanling weeks ago with a convoy of wounded. She's with their father, who has been there still longer, since he was quite badly wounded in a battle.

> He's pretty close to recovered but it was _really fucking bad_ , he nearly died

"A-Xian and Wangji adopted an orphaned child they found," she explains, because _of course she fucking knows_ , A-Jie _always fucking knows_ , and why would anyone tell _Jiang Cheng_ anything?

> aww.
> 
> He'll definitely feel better when he realises that they didn't actually _tell_ anyone _at all_ , literally the only people who knew were his sister, who a) is his sister and, well, you know and b) was the first person they went to for help, and b) his mother, who is the person they left the baby with.

He feels slightly better when his father says, "Wait. A-Ying has a _son_?"

At least it's _not just him_.

> see

When he tells A-Jie about Wei Wuxian's apparent new rage issues, she looks concerned, assures him she'll deal with it, and gives some orders.

> Because who else but Jiang Yanli?

When Wei Wuxian arrives, still looking like he's teetering on the brink of murderous rage, she smiles her sweetest smile at him, the one that neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng can ever, ever say no to, and sends him to bathe, because: "A-Yuan will be here soon, but you came here straight from a battlefield, so you'll just have time to wash it off."

> Wei Wuxian and/or Jiang Cheng: exist
> 
> Jiang Yanli: smiles
> 
> Wei Wuxian and/or Jiang Cheng: yes what would you like us to do

When he emerges, his dark robes have been whisked away to the laundries, and the softest, most luxurious garments the stores of Jinlintai could provide - which is saying something - are waiting for him. (Later, Jin Guangyao will apologise for the failure of the hospitality of Jinlintai when the dark robes are "lost", and helpfully supply new robes in the colours of the Jiang Sect.)

> in that when the robes were taken ostensibly to the laundry, the servants were told to make them disappear such that they were never seen again. Those robes didn't even go to dusters, they went straight to being shredded and put in the compost heaps
> 
> no I have not researched the history of compost, that's just... a general conceptual comment

Jiang Cheng is not jealous. He's _not_. He also has bathed, and put on fresh clothing, and his clothing is perfectly acceptable and comfortable.

> He's a tiny bit jealous.

It turns out A-Jie has soup, because she started making soup as soon as the reports of imminent victory reached her, in hopes of welcoming her brothers home with their favourite food. This is also helpful.

> It helps Jiang Cheng too, because, you know, he's not in as bad a state as Wei Wuxian but he's also had a shitty couple of years so

Wei Wuxian is plied with soup and A-Jie's smiles and Wangji's solicitous attentions (Jiang Cheng is present In Case, and he doesn't want to think about _in case of what_ or _and what the fuck am I supposed to do about it_ ) until his mother arrives on her sword carrying a blinking bundle of toddler and is ushered hurriedly in.

"A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian says urgently. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, it's him."

Mother gives them the child without hesitation, and Wei Wuxian holds him, tears running down his cheeks, murmuring meaningless things, and Lan Wangji leans over them both, presses a reverant kiss to the child's tuft of dark hair, and Lan Wangji _smiles_ , and Jiang Cheng realises, really understands, that this is their son, this is _his nephew_.

> It was just kind of an idea that didn't make sense before, but... yeah, that's... they're dads.

"Fuck," he says. "I'm an _uncle._ "

His mother smacks his shoulder hard. "Language," she sniffs.

> if A-Yuan's first word had been "fuck" Jiang Cheng would have been in, just
> 
> so
> 
> much
> 
> trouble
> 
> BTW, I do wonder sometimes what actually it is that gets translated as "fuck/fucking" and just how "bad" a word is actually being used, because swearing, as a rule, is the absolute hardest thing to translate accurately, whether you're translating literally or not.
> 
> Levels of offensiveness and also syntax are both really hard to move between languages.
> 
> Which is how you end up talking to a sweet little old lady who tells you "oh, no, darling, that's fucking bullshit" when you're nine or a guy who's known your family for years and is genuinely very respectful towards and loves your mother says "What? Shitting fuck!" to her face at Christmas.
> 
> Meanwhile I'm almost feeling guilty for trying my hardest to write this in a way that isn't disrespectful to Chinese culture because I can hear Laolao's ghost yelling at me. IDK why a woman from Beijing hated mainland Chinese people so much but she really, really did.

\---

Jiang Cheng's nephew is the sweetest, most well-behaved baby who ever lived, and Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking that maybe having to marry and have children of his own won't be so bad.

> You know every woman wants a husband who loves her like a grim duty he couldn't escape.

A-Yuan burbles happily at Wei Wuxian. He smiles sweetly at Lan Wangji. When Jiang Cheng is permitted to hold him, A-Yuan giggles at him and says, "Blup."

Jiang Cheng is in love. He would die for this child. This child is the _best person who has ever lived_. He fully understands why Wei Wuxian would be so angry at being kept from such a perfect, perfect baby.

> BEST JIUJIU NOW BEST SHUSHU

"He's cute, I guess," is what he says, as he gives him back.

> still Jiang Cheng tho

A-Jie holds him tenderly, and A-Yuan beams at her, because he is Wei Wuxian's son, and is clearly, obviously and instantly in love with his aunt forever. (Jiang Cheng cannot judge, A-Jie is perfect.)

> Some things are hereditary via the soul, and utterly adoring Jiang Yanli is one of them.

Jiang Fengmian bounces A-Yuan on his knee and glows with pride. Xichen is called to meet his nephew, and smiles gently at him as he holds him.

A-Yuan looks from Xichen, to Wangji, to Xichen, to Wangji, and frowns thoughtfully before smacking Xichen firmly in the face and reaching out towards Wangji.

> "Every single day of my life, I have been told about my parents and how great they are and how much they love me, and then my Nainai brought me here and whispered _that's Daddy, with Father_ , and you, motherfucker, are NOT MY FATHER. I CAN TELL."

"I think," Wei Wuxian says, amid general laughter, "he thinks you're some sort of fake Lan Zhan."

"So it seems," Xichen says. "I am clearly an inferior substitute for the real thing." He sounds amused, at least.

> opinions vary as to which is preferable, but as a base rule, no-one will accept substituting one of you for the other

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, "take him, but hold him by Zewu-Jun. Perhaps if A-Yuan knows we're not trying to pass off a counterfeit father, he'll be more willing to greet his uncle."

A-Yuan still seems faintly dubious. Jiang Cheng tries not to look smug that he is _clearly_ A-Yuan's favourite uncle.

> _his success is limited_

(But he is definitely A-Yuan's favourite uncle, and he is already thinking about what toys to buy him to cement his position. Jiang Cheng is going to be the best uncle ever. He has decided.)

> BEST JIUJIU NOW BEST SHUSHU
> 
> later on, there will be sections in which uncles and aunts are indicated by names like "Uncle Jiang" and I look forward to people complaining endlessly about that not being how it works, despite the fact that _dialogue in English is not how it works either_ and I would really prefer people just understand that a) I'm writing in English, and attempting to use a naming system that works _in English_ and b) trying to express a count-based numbering system when people are multiple directions of brothers by varied links based off source material that is _unclear about relative ages_ had me at "you know what nope" even before you got to _A-Yuan has two fathers_ and also the upcoming _three-way relationship_.
> 
> When Lan Xichen is Jin Ling's father's sworn brother but also Jin Ling's mother's brother's husband, what does Jin Ling call him? There's a level of "hey can you tell me" I'm willing to throw at Chinese people I know but that's beyond it when he can be "First Uncle Lan"
> 
> Also looking forward to people being mad at me for literally any option I can think of for distinguishing the forthcoming Madams Jin, since Elder Madam Jin and Younger Madam Jin, in addition to being clunky as fuck, doesn't factor in Mo Fan, who can't be Third Madam Jin because there's a lot more people named Jin at Jinlintai, and I do not have any method or will to work out exactly how many there are, and some of the people addressing or referring to them should be doing so more formally than by their names directly, especially when Mo Fan is estranged from her family.

A-Yuan keeps Wei Wuxian well diverted until Lan Qiren arrives. Lan Qiren hurries in, his usual frown well set, and sets down a guqin.

"I was called -" he says, and then he sees A-Yuan in Wangji's arms, and stops.

"Uncle," Xichen says, "this is Wangji's son."

Lan Qiren stares. "A son? Wangji?" He takes a few steps closer.

"Yes." Wangji looks up. "Uncle, this is Lan Yuan."

Jiang Cheng spent a year in the Cloud Recesses, most of it with Lan Qiren as his teacher. He's pretty sure this is still the first time he's ever seen the old man smile.

> no notes there's a side-fic

\---

The dark, angry tension has been building in Wei Wuxian's blood for months, but here and now, surrounded by his family, finally reunited with A-Yuan, it doesn't really find a purchase on him.

When Lan Qiren has been introduced to his great-nephew, has held him and allowed A-Yuan to pull very solemnly on his beard, and returns to the guqin to play _Cleansing_ , he finds he can't object.

This, too, is family; it is healing.

He closes his eyes, and listens to the music, and the soft voices and laughter of his family.

He doesn't even notice falling asleep.

The next day is one of respite, as the clan and sect leaders assemble. Wei Wuxian plays with his son, and sleeps, and listens to Cleansing played by Lan Qiren, or Lan Xichen, or Lan Zhan, despite his protests that they should probably all be resting.

It does help.


	16. Chapter 16

Jiang Cheng is stopping by after lunch to check that Wei Wuxian isn't going to go on a rampage, or something, and not, at all, because he hasn't seen A-Yuan all day and he wants to bask in the cute, and anyway, even if it was because of the cute, he's spent the last couple of years at war, on bleak and miserable battlefields, he deserves to spend some time watching his first nephew be adorable.

> It's totally because of the cute, and that's allowed, Jiang Cheng.

He did not expect to be _ambushed_.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, "I need to talk to Jiang Cheng about something. Would you mind taking A-Yuan to see shijie? She said she's been arranging some new clothes for him."

"Mn," is all Wangji says, and then he takes the kid away. Unfair. If he's going to have to put up with Wei Wuxian in serious talk mode, why can't he at least still get to see the cute kid?

> like two minutes from now you are not going to be sorry no-one else is hearing this

"Jiang Cheng." Oh, no, no, no, that's Wei Wuxian's _Really_ Serious Voice, the one he almost never uses, the one that only ever precedes "so I traveled through time from a future where your whole family is dead except for me and you're such a fuckup I think you hate me because you're probably still an idiot who doesn't know how to use his words" or "surprise also I was dead and you were a shitty parent to our nephew because on the incredibly rare occasions I'll say anything about him, he kinda sounds like a brat" or "yeah we're going to war and I'm going to lay out entire fucking battle plans and remind you that you've only ever beaten me at anything because I let you" or some awful shit and Jiang Cheng already hates this conversation.

> Nothing good ever comes of Wei Wuxian being serious for anyone, but Jiang Cheng feels it harder than most. Wei Wuxian is kind of an important part of his life and all.

"Wei Wuxian." There's no real escape, he knows all too well.

"Jiang Cheng, I really need you to answer me honestly. Is there someone you might be interested in marrying? Is there a girl who's caught your eye?" A pause. "Or a boy?"

> The Yiling Patriarch title could've been avoided if they'd just got around to giving him the formal title Bisexual Disaster, he's not judging

"Fuck you," Jiang Cheng says, but there's no heat in it. "No."

"Never? Not ever, at all? Even a little bit?"

Jiang Cheng glares at Wei Wuxian, _that asshole_. "No."

Wei Wuxian nods slowly. "Jiang Cheng... are you... is there anyone you've even found attractive?"

He hates that he can feel that he's blushing. "No," he grits out.

"I'm sorry, Jiang Cheng, I really am." Wei Wuxian sighs. "I know this isn't a fun conversation for you."

> It's really not and it came out of _nowhere_

"Before." Jiang Cheng swallows, looking at the floor. "In your... before. Was there... did I?"

> Jiang Cheng can never say _previous life_ because it's too weird and because also that would include acknowledging, conceptually, that _Wei Wuxian died_ and he's not okay with that, nor is he okay with all kinds of things that thinking about it in more detail than BEFORE involves. _Wei Wuxian died. Wei Wuxian lost his golden core. Wei Wuxian thinks I hated him._

"No," Wei Wuxian tells him. "You never married, and I never even heard of you showing interest in anyone. I had to ask, because you know, things had gone pretty badly, maybe it was just that you were all traumatised, but even after things settled down, after your nephew grew up, and all of that, you didn't, and it didn't seem to bother you."

"Right." Which means he probably didn't have any children, which means he probably failed in his duty as a Sect Leader to actually _have an heir_ , too.

> Hey Jiang Cheng your inadequacy issues are showing.

"Here's a question, then." Wei Wuxian leans forward. "What if I could tell you there's someone who's perfect for you anyway? Someone who also isn't interested in other people that way, who could be your friend and your partner, and wouldn't be upset that you weren't... interested?"

"I'm the next leader of the Jiang Sect. It's my duty to have children," Jiang Cheng says heavily.

> He doesn't want to, because he knows where babies come from, but... duty.

"Eh, children," Wei Wuxian waves that concern away. "Consider that later. Not everyone has children even if they try. Maybe you adopt, or something. No-one will dare to say you didn't do your best."

> Loook for all they know he's heterosexually banging his wife heterosexually every night and it's just not happening

"Who did you have in mind?" Jiang Cheng asks.

Wei Wuxian tells him.

"Is this some kind of _joke_?"

\---

In the evening, a crowd of distinguished personages have, officially, decided that they must pay their respects to the possible future heir of the Lan Sect. His one-month and one-year celebrations were not held, because of the war; they must, of course, make alternative arrangements.

Unofficially, they have come to plan the outcome of the conference, and this is a very useful excuse for them all the be in the same place, so Zixuan, Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen, Jiang Fengmian, Wanyin, A-Yao, Wen Qionglin, and Wen Qing all gather in Wuxian and Wangji's rooms.

> This is how things work, sometimes. The official "negotiations" are just theatre for decisions that were already taken in advance.

Zixuan's mother accompanies him, and Madam Yu is already there; Zixuan is given to understand that Madam Yu is easing Lan Yuan's transition from her care back to that of his parents, and Madam Jin is visiting her friend and meeting her friend's new grandson.

> her friend's grandson
> 
> not hers, Zixuan
> 
> because you haven't got Jiang Yanli pregnant yet, Zixuan
> 
> you haven't even convinced her to set a date for the wedding yet, Zixuan

Fortunately, the quarters for honoured guests at Jinlintai are spacious, and there is just enough room.

"Before we start," Wuxian says, "I would like a quick word with Wen-guniang. A-Yuan has a... thing, and I would like the opinion of such a renowned doctor."

> so convincing

Wen Qing narrows her eyes at him, but nods, and Wuxian hustles her into the bedroom. Wangji frowns after them.

> Lan Zhan is, at this point, not at all even slightly jealous. They're well into an established and healthy relationship now, in which Lan Zhan does not even consider the possibility that Wei Ying will cheat on him.
> 
> But Wei Ying said _A-Yuan has a thing_ and now he's talking to the _doctor_ and is there _something wrong with his son_?

"Jiejie is a very good doctor," Wen Qionglin says, beaming with pride.

> MY SISTER IS THE BEST DOCTOR

They wait some minutes, and then Wuxian emerges, his son in his arms. Wen Qing follows, smiling faintly, and says, "A-Yuan is very healthy."

> Extremely cursory examination of child, accompanied by: "So, hey, I think you should marry Jiang Cheng. He's grumpy and shouty and kind of an asshole but he will more-or-less treat you with respect and kindness and he will absolutely never expect you to fuck him, what do you think?"

Wangji's expression smoothes back to its customary neutrality.

> "oh my son is fine all right then"

Lan Yuan _is_ the possible future leader of the Lan sect, so the assembled Sect Leaders dutifully greet him. Zixuan's mother coos over him, and Zixuan winces slightly at the look she sends him, because he can read it perfectly; she and Madam Yu are dear, dear friends, and if Zixuan had been a little more assiduous and confident in his courting of Jiang Yanli, then perhaps they would already be married, and their mothers would possibly have acquired their first grandchild at the same time. His mother may never forgive him for allowing Madam Yu to be a grandmother _first_.

> yup, can't undo that, I'm afraid

And then the real discussion begins.

Jiang Fengmian speaks first. He is the oldest of the leaders of the major sects, and well-respected.

"I don't really like the idea of letting all of Qishan be open territory for the clans to fight over," he says. "Obviously in their reduced state, there's too much ground for them to cover, and, no offense intended to Sect Leader Wen and Wen-guniang, but I think we'd like to keep them somewhat reduced from where they were."

"We take no offense," Wen Qing says. "No clan should stand over all others as the Wen did. Had the Wen been less powerful, many of the Wen and our affiliated sects might have chosen to live more independently than was ever permitted for us."

Wen Qionglin nods his agreement.

> hee

"As you say," Jiang Fengmian smiles wryly. "With the aftermath of such a conflict, there will, too, be a rise in the activity of restless spirits and the need for night-hunting. I regret to say that we must insist on a significant reduction of Wen territory, and until you have... recovered, somewhat, if Sect Leader Wen is willing, we can arrange terms for other Sects and Clans to conduct night-hunts in Wen territory, also."

"Reasonable," Wen Qing agrees. "The Wen are in no position to make demands. We will trust in the honour of the four Sect Leaders, and accept the borders you impose."

Wen Qionglin nods his agreement.

> HEE

Nie Mingjue grunts. "There is the issue of defense," he says. "Some may be... opportunistic. The Nie are at one flank, and we will respect agreed boundaries. However, some may not."

Zixuan stands. "If I may," he says, "Jin Guangyao had a suggestion for that. A-Yao?"

A-Yao bows. "It is not unheard of for a season of war to be followed by a season of... rebirth, or for peace to be resolved by forming new bonds between former enemies. Perhaps it would be helpful to symbolise the return of the Wen to our community by forming such alliances. If the Wen were - for the time being - subordinate to other sects, but connected to them in such a way, it would communicate to the world at large both containment and protection."

"Did you have anyone specific in mind?" Zewu-Jun asks mildly.

Zixuan smiles. "My sister Qin Su is, ah... a very sweet and lovely young woman. I would, of course, never dream of imposing an unfit marriage on her, but perhaps we could introduce her to Sect Leader Wen, and see if it might be agreeable to the two parties."

Wen Qionglin is wide-eyed, and looks hesitantly at his sister.

> UM?

"Acceptable," Wen Qing says.

And then, to Zixuan's surprise, Wuxian stands up. "If we cannot guarantee that Wen N- Qionglin and Qin Su will find one another... agreeable, we should have another plan also in place. Even if they fall madly in love immediately, our new state of affairs would still be more secure if we established another relationship to a different sect."

"What did Wei-gongzi have in mind?" A-Yao asks.

"Jiang Cheng should marry Wen Qing."

Zixuan blinks, and wills himself not to laugh. He doesn't dare look at Wanyin, who's probably apoplectic, but he can see Madam Yu, who looks... intrigued.

"Acceptable," Wen Qing says.

Wen Qionglin nods his agreement.

> LOOK IF MY SISTER SAYS IT'S OKAY IT'S OKAY my sister is very smart and she is also an excellent doctor just so you know

Zixuan is surprised.

Wanyin stands. "I also find this acceptable," he says.

Zixuan is _shocked_.

"If my son is willing," Jiang Fengmian says, "the Jiang Sect agrees."

> Oh how I wish this was something more than Jiang Fengmian being like, "Okay, whatever."

"That could work well," A-Yao says. He looks thoughtful. "I believe I heard a report that the four great heroes of the Sunshot Campaign swore brotherhood on the battlements of the Sun Palace."

> a thing I proceed never to confirm or deny
> 
> all you know is that they're sworn brothers _later_

"Is that really what you heard?" Zixuan turns to his brother. "Four great heroes? I was just - they were - and Hanguang-Jun, and Wei Wuxian, and -" He can't think of any combination that comes out to a total of four great heroes of the war. He can think of three, or five, or more, but not _four_. A-Yao smiles, the smile that says that he finds your simple honesty _adorable_. Zixuan suppresses a groan. "What am I missing?"

> That you're one of them.
> 
> In fairness, he probably shouldn't be.

"People like stories they can tell themselves that make grand and complex events... simple. The Sunshot Campaign was complex, and difficult, and many efforts were required to achieve victory. The Jin Sect is large, and powerful, and there are those who will be unwilling to believe that the Jin were not vitally important, and therefore a Jin must be a hero. Jin Zixuan, the Sect Leader, cannot possibly have been a young and inexperienced fellow who did his best to play his part according to the battle plans of others. It cannot be that he was valiant, yet unexceptional."

> For a while, this section was basically summarised as: **Jin Guangyao BREAKS IT DOWN**

He continues. "Jin Zixuan must have been one of the heroes of the Sunshot Campaign. There is no acceptable alternative. Chifeng-Zun is the Sect Leader of the ferocious Nie, and won many battles, and fought mightily, so he cannot possibly have erred, and been captured; that is not a satisfactory conclusion to the story. Chifeng-Zun's heroism can have no admitted flaw. He must be praised."

"That's ridiculous," Nie Mingjue snarls. "Who wants that?"

> Nie Mingjue is not particularly interested in being praised at all, but definitely not for _something that isn't true._

A-Yao inclines his head. "Indeed, Sect Leader Nie, but I am afraid the praise will be yours whether you want it or not. If I may continue: Zewu-Jun saved many lives, turned many battles, was there where he was needed. Zewu-Jun is also the Leader of the Lan Sect. Zewu-Jun must be a hero of the Sunshot Campaign. Jiang Wanyin is _not_ the Leader of the Jiang Sect, but he is the _heir_ of the Jiang Sect, and Sandu Shengshou was a very striking figure. Who could miss the powerful cultivator who fought with lightning? He was visible from great distances! After his father was honourably wounded in battle, Jiang Wanyin took his place, and faltered not at all."

A-Yao continues. "I do not actually know whether the four of you swore brotherhood on the battlements of the Sun Palace. I cannot, in fact, even guess, because I would have heard that you did whether or not it had happened at all." He pauses. "However, you are all still wishing to protest that Hanguang-Jun and Wei Wuxian were heroic, were vitally necessary, even if the efforts of all the other combatants are disregarded. Perhaps even that Wen Qing was the one who disabled the formidable Wen Ruohan, yes?"

> Heroes of something that takes place on something on such a large scale as war are rarely worthy of as much praise as they receive. Many people do heroic things with no praise at all.

There are murmurs of agreement.

He sighs. "Unfortunately, that does not matter. Wen Qing is a Wen. And a woman. Perhaps one would be acceptable, but not both. Hanguang-Jun is remote, and unapproachable, and remarkable for his strength and his integrity, so he is more respected than all of you, and less loved than any of you. Except that he is loved by Wei Wuxian, because he is also..." He hesitates.

"A cutsleeve," Wuxian says flatly.

"Just so," A-Yao says. "Which matters little, as it happens, save that it makes the remote and unapproachable Hanguang-Jun still that little bit more... distant. Someone most people find it difficult to relate to. More fortunately, the devotion that the unimpeachable Hanguang-Jun shows towards Wei Wuxian in return is very, very helpful, because Wei Wuxian is... a problem."

Wuxian laughs bitterly. "Aren't I always. Tell me more, Jin Guangyao. Is my destruction inevitable?" He is looking at A-Yao strangely, and his hand is tight on Baohu. The air crackles with tension Zixuan doesn't fully understand.

"Wangji," Xichen says sharply, and then they both, for some reason, pull out guqins and begin to play. Madam Yu brings Lan Yuan and all but shoves him into Wei Wuxian's lap.

> There's a lot of dynamics here Zixuan doesn't understand, obviously.

Lan Yuan looks at the flute in his father's hand and leans forward to chew on it thoughtfully. Wuxian looks at him, takes a deep, shuddering breath, and loosens his grip so Lan Yuan can get a better hold, curling his free hand around to hold his son securely.

Baohu is renowned across the cultivation world now, a powerful spiritual tool both admired and feared.

Lan Yuan is drooling on it.

Wen Qionglin gives Lan Yuan a little wave.

> look it's both good and bad that Wen Ning doesn't appear in this fic more because the whole story would just be AND THEN WEN NING WAS CUTE AND WAS SO PRECIOUS AND ADORABLE WEN NINGGG

"No, Wei-gongzi," A-Yao says carefully. "Not inevitable. There is presently a certain risk, because if Wei-gongzi is a hero, then Wei-gongzi is an untamed hero, who can only be loved or hated. I regret that I have obviously upset you, but I have to ask: if you decided, right now, to kill me, who do you think could stop you? Who do you think would try?"

> Jin Guangyao: smarter than Jin Zixun

Zixuan wants to say that he would, but has to admit to himself: he wouldn't try, because he knows he couldn't succeed. Wuxian _is_ powerful, is as strong a cultivator as anyone Zixuan knows and has his... other skills, to call upon, as well. He wouldn't dare.

"Where are you going with this, Jin Guangyao?" Xichen asks evenly.

A-Yao smiles. "Everyone knows that Wei Wuxian can command armies of the dead. Everyone knows that Wei Wuxian is the real reason the Sunshot Campaign was successful. No-one wants to admit it, because if the world turns on Wei Wuxian, or Wei Wuxian turns on the world, no-one wants to be remembered as having supported him."

"I support him," Jiang Fengmian says flatly.

> that was guaranteed.

"As do I," Nie Mingjue growls.

> that was earned.

"Me too!" Wen Qionglin says.

> that was precious.

The Twin Jades of Lan continue to play, but Zixuan supposes that their support can be assumed, on the basis of the pristine white ribbon still bright at Wuxian's wrist.

> that was obvious.

"And me," Zixuan says hurriedly.

> that was nearly a major gaffe.

"As should we all," A-Yao says. "Wei Wuxian has been exemplary. He has fought hard, at great personal cost, doing much to avert casualties among cultivators and civilians alike. He has undoubtedly saved many thousands of lives. He is a romantic hero, fighting beside his beloved - since almost the day they married - and longingly absent from his son, the war orphan he ran into a burning building to save. Why, Wei Wuxian is so noble that even the restless, unsettled dead will rise to follow him into battle. Of their own volition, of course."

> History is written by the victors.

Wuxian looks up from his son and stares. "You know that's not what happened."

A-Yao smiles. "I do. And I do not. I did not participate in the war. I am but a humble seneschal. What contribution could I have made? I merely organised the collection, transportation, and distribution of supplies, the resettlement of refugees, the housing and care of the wounded, and other trivial details."

> "all the things without which you could not have won the war, not that anyone's going to remember that"

Zixuan blinks. "You worked extremely hard, A-Yao, and your work was _vital_. We couldn't have done it without you. We needed all of those things! You did them brilliantly, better than I ever could have!"

> But Zixuan's like THOSE THINGS WERE REALLY IMPORTANT THO, YOU DID GREAT LIL BRO

This is A-Yao's _I am too polite to laugh at you_ smile, and Zixuan flushes.

> It's a little bit _you're adorable_.

"I am most gratified by da-ge's praise," he says. "However, the point remains that I was not present on the battlefields, and could not possibly suggest that, say, Wei Wuxian has demonstrated an expertise in demonic cultivation that would, were Wei Wuxian a less kind and well-intentioned man, be deeply and profoundly terrifying. That, were the cultivation world so foolish as to turn against him, I would expect the resulting conflict to cost thousands of lives, even if he stood alone. I can only say what everyone knows to be true."

"I don't want to... cause problems, Guangyao," Zixuan's mother says, "but I don't think that's what everyone is saying."

"Not yet, no," A-Yao replies calmly. "But such things can be arranged."

There is a moment of silence.

> you shady motherfucker

"In any case, to return to my original point: if the four heroes of the Sunshot Campaign, however uncomfortable they may be with that role, do in fact share a strong bond of brotherhood with one another, and Wen Qionglin has married the sister of one, and another has married the sister of Wen Qionglin, it will be assumed that they will _all_ look unkindly on transgressions against the new peace in general, and the Wen in particular."

Zixuan nods. "I am very fond of Qin Su," he says. "I would indeed look unkindly on such a thing."

"And I," Wuxian says, "am very fond of Wen Ning, and have great respect for Wen Qing. I would also be quite affronted."

Zixuan is slightly surprised at such familiarity towards the Wen Sect Leader, but Wen Qionglin smiles shyly.

"This one is also very fond of Wei-gongzi," he says.

> Wen Ning's like HE LIKES ME :D :D :D :D MAYBE WE CAN BE FRIENDS :D :D :D

Zixuan is not the only one who looks at Wen Qing, who smiles slightly, but says nothing.

"And thus," A-Yao says, "we can establish a new, stable balance in the world. Sect Leader Wen can - ah. Did you wish to speak?"

Wen Qionglin has raised his hand - not imperiously, or in any kind of grave and serious fashion, but like a student trying to draw the teacher's attention.

> look I just can't with this dude, okay

"Would it - can I - I mean, would it be better if we still dropped the sun? I mean, it was the Sunshot Campaign, and... and... the whole sun thing is a bit..." He looks down and fiddles nervously with a loose thread on his sleeve. "Our branch of the family aren't really... like that, anyway. We have many great doctors! Maybe we could make our symbol a, a needle? But people don't really like needles, either..." He trails away sadly, then brightens. "How about something people do like? Something cute, like a rabbit!"

Zixuan looks at A-Yao, who looks uncharacteristically blank for a moment, and then his smile returns. "Changing the symbol is probably a good idea," he says gently, "but perhaps not a rabbit."

> A-Yao: "give me a second while I change mental gears: okay, I'm good"

"A plum blossom," Wen Qing says. "The gentleman of winter, when the power of the sun is weak, but not entirely gone. When the sun still gives light, and some small measure of warmth, but nothing more."

> This took a while and a lot of research into Chinese symbolisms to come up with but I love it
> 
> Their robes are a pretty pink because plum blossoms are pretty pink and they can't be plum purple because that's Jiang

A-Yao considers this thoughtfully. "Yes," he says, "that should do nicely."

"All that remains," Jiang Fengmian says, "is the issue of territory."

A-Yao nods, and unrolls a map.

The discussion of border adjustments is extensive. The war was long and difficult; their subordinates will not be well pleased if this results in no benefit to their respective sects, but only the Nie and Jiang really share extensive borders with the Wen. It would make for an awkward disposition of territory for the Lan, especially, to claim much in way of spoils from the Wen, but the Lan are forbidden to be greedy.

The Jin, Zixuan is uncomfortably aware, very much are not.

"There were a number of affiliated sects who were quite unhappy with the Wen," Wen Qing suggests. "Where those survive, with their independence restored, they could regain the areas they held."

"And the Nie have long been quite compressed between the Jin and Wen," Zixuan adds. "That pressure would be lessened if they expanded westward."

"We have the northern hinterlands," Nie Mingjue grumbles. The scourge of the Wen-dogs, who left survivors only grudgingly if at all, has been remarkably reluctant to accept that Wen Qionglin should cede much of the territory of the Wen.

> WHY WE GOTTA TAKE STUFF FROM THIS PRECIOUS LIL DUDE

"Even so," Jiang Fengmian says with a smile. "We must take as much as honour demands, neither more nor less."

Xichen has already stopped playing his guqin, and has been attending closely to the discussion. It is at this point that Wangji's music stops, too, and the clustered group fall silent as he abruptly stands.

"Wangji?" Xichen says.

"It is nine," Wangji replies. "It is time to rest. I do not wish to disturb your discussion. You are welcome to remain."

That may be the longest sequence of words Zixuan has ever heard Wangji say, and it seems to have exhausted his capacity. He goes to where Wuxian is sitting, and oh, that's why Wuxian has been so quiet - he's fallen asleep and so has Lan Yuan, curled in his lap cuddling Baohu like a toy.

> at some point I'm gonna draw this and it's gonna be so heckin cute

Wangji lifts them both together, with exquisite care and no apparent effort, and carries them into the bedroom.

> Wangji both dads and husbands with the power of impressive arm strength

It puts a curiously effective pressure on the gathering; they speak very quietly, and draw much more rapid conclusions after that.


	17. Chapter 17

Lan Wangji wakes earlier than his usual time. Wei Ying is still asleep. This is good. Wei Ying is still pale and drawn and seems very tired. Wei Ying did not wake when Lan Wangji carried Wei Ying and their son to bed.

Their son is _not_ asleep. Their son is climbing over Lan Wangji's chest, towards the side of the bed. This is why Lan Wangji is awake.

He sits up, catching their son in his arms. Their son giggles happily, and Lan Wangji looks towards Wei Ying, alarmed.

> There's tiny bit of a special note here.
> 
> At this time, Lan Zhan doesn't quite have a sense of A-Yuan as an individual. He is _their son_ , and Lan Zhan would die for him, but at this time the sum total amount of time Lan Zhan has spent with him is still a quite small number of hours, whereas it's been well over a year that Lan Zhan has been thinking about him, knowing him only as the tiny baby they left at Lotus Pier.
> 
> This is actually a really special time in which Lan Zhan is getting to know his son for the first time. Wei Wuxian remembers A-Yuan from his first life - he doesn't expect him to be exactly the same, but he has a strong idea of A-Yuan as a _person._ To Lan Zhan he's still a little bit an _idea_. That's going to change, and that's just really important.

Wei Ying is still asleep.

This situation is very high-risk. Lan Wangji must take immediate action.

He moves from the bed as quietly as he can and takes their son into the outer chambers.

The formidable Madam Yu gave him extensive instruction the previous morning in the proper care of their son. (Lan Wangji intends to review any available materials in the Library Pavilion when he returns to Cloud Recesses, but as Madam Yu has cared for their son for most of his life thus far, Lan Wangji assumes that her expertise is significant and reliable.)

> Lan Zhan's relationship with Madam Yu is not like other people's.
> 
> When he first went to Lotus Pier, he was a notable guest from a major sect. And of course, his behaviour is perfect - he's polite, _quiet_ , hard-working and reliable. Also, Wei Ying acts up a lot less in his presence. He was working harder because forthcoming Major Events, but also Wei Wuxian does less ridiculous shit for attention when Lan Zhan is around, because Lan Zhan _gives him constant_ _attention._
> 
> So he's seen Madam Yu be a lot less cranky than most people have, and also, she has given him reliable instruction on a number of occasions. She was one of the people who taught him to be a less predictable swordsman, she explained sex, and she's explained childcare. Madam Yu is formidable, reliable, and trustworthy.
> 
> (When Lan Zhan got to Lotus Pier, he won his first few sparring bouts handily. Then Jinzhu, who had been watching, took him on and _crushed_ him. Yinzhu had a brief conversation with Jiang Cheng, and then Jiang Cheng kicked his ass too, and then they explained to him that he was _painfully_ predictable, and then the Jiang collectively taught him to _stop that shit._ )

The guest quarters of Jinlintai include a small kitchen. This is good and useful.

However, Lan Wangji cannot help but see that almost everything in it is far too dangerous to be permitted anywhere near their son.

This is a problem.

Leaving their son somewhere he cannot see him would also be a problem.

Lan Wangji considers this carefully.

> LOGICAL SOLUTION INCOMING

\---

Wei Wuxian wakes alone and decides that this fact means that today is already a bad day.

> idk about other people but for me being in a long-term relationship means being grumblingly resentful when I'm unhappy and not getting hugged already

He grumbles resentfully out of bed.

He can hear sounds from the kitchen, and what may even be Lan Zhan's voice.

Lan Zhan is cooking, sleeves tied back. A-Yuan is tucked into his outer robes, against his chest, extra straps carefully securing him tightly so only his little head pops out. It's _adorable_. And Lan Zhan is singing, softly, that oddly familiar, curiously joyful song Wei Wuxian distantly remembers him singing at Lotus Pier before they were married. A-Yuan is singing with him - or at least, is making happy little noises that come nowhere near the melody.

Wei Wuxian wants to keep this moment forever.

> Look, A-Yuan and Lan Zhan are his two favouritest favourites in the _world_.

If the sharp edges inside him, the razor-edged anger that's still coiling through him, the way he still feels worn thin and ragged from so long at war, such heavy use of the Stygian Tiger Seal - if all of that is the price he had to pay for this, then at least he can know that it was absolutely worth it.

Lan Zhan scoops congee into a bowl. "Portion for A-Yuan," he says seriously, "must cool before eating. A-Yuan enjoys congee sweetened with fruit." He picks up a plate of finely cut fruit, slides it into the bowl, and stirs it, then scoops out another bowl from the pot and sets that aside. He then picks up a smaller dish and pours its bright red contents into the remaining congee in the pot. "Portion for Wei Ying."

> yes, he is absolutely quoting Madam Yu's instructions, because _obviously_ he memorised them carefully

A-Yuan watches this process closely. When Lan Zhan stirs the pot, there is a swirl of steam, and A-Yuan's face scrunches in disapproval. "Indeed," Lan Zhan sighs. "The congee will simmer. A-Yuan may play while your portion cools."

He turns away from the stove and sees Wei Wuxian. "Wei Ying." He freezes in the action of reaching to free A-Yuan from his robes.

"Lan Zhan, that was so wonderful to see," Wei Wuxian says, because he does not want to take the risk that Lan Zhan is embarrassed and thinks he should hide this kind of thing from him. "You're such a good father, Lan Zhan." He closes the distance between them, kisses Lan Zhan briefly, and laughs as A-Yuan squirms against his chest.

> Lan Zhan is still shy and that's okay but Wei Wuxian does not want him to feel bad or embarrassed about being a loving father because Wei Wuxian _lives for that shit_

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says reprovingly.

"Yes, yes, I am terrible," Wei Wuxian agrees. As Lan Zhan loosens the straps that held A-Yuan in place, Wei Wuxian takes him and lifts him high in the air. A-Yuan giggles. "Our poor son, so trapped, crushed by the unyielding power of his fathers' love. So terrible! He must be so wounded, how will he live? He will cry out to be saved! Father!" He points A-Yuan at Lan Zhan. "Daddy!" He points him back at himself, then spins him back towards Lan Zhan. "Father!"

"Father!" A-Yuan says.

> He has in fact been waiting for them to talk, because seriously, _every single day of his life_ he has been told about them.

Wei Wuxian blinks, and smiles. Maybe today isn't a bad day after all.

\---

Today the expected tedious and irritating meetings are due to begin, and Wei Wuxian is expected to attend them.

And so he and Lan Zhan must, reluctantly, take A-Yuan to the section of Jinlintai where a number of apartments are set for the women of Jin Zixuan's family. Madam Yu has been staying as the guest of her friend Madam Jin. Nearby too are Second Lady Mo, and Qin Su, and Madam Meng and her friend Madam Sisi.

These last two ladies being quite renowned, Wei Wuxian is utterly delighted at Jin Zixuan's approach; where others might be reluctant to acknowledge such people, Jin Zixuan has brought them to his home, as if to declare that the face of the Jin Sect is so thick that they need have no care for what anyone might say. It is the kind of thing that Wei Wuxian himself might do, simply daring anyone to question it.

> Jin Zixuan making the best of a tricky situation by angling for the _enhanced prestige of it_ approach: "look, I can do this, and totally get away with it, because I'm just that powerful."
> 
> There's precedent for this, in the ways both his father and Wen Ruohan abused their positions, but Jin Zixuan is doing it for _good_.

To his surprise, when Wei Wuxian's small family arrive at Madam Jin's apartments, Jin Guangyao and the Second Lady Mo are there too, drinking tea with Madam Jin and Madam Yu.

> Jin Guangyao and the Second Lady Mo have been having tea with Madam Jin for well over a year now, this is how their courtship developed. Madam Jin took Mo Fan under her wing because the poor child had been badly treated by Madam Jin's own husband and now was kind of in over her head among the cultivators. Jin Guangyao was visiting with her to talk about Sect administration stuff with the person who'd been doing it for years. Careful politeness became delicate courtship, it's the cutest thing and Madam Jin has been _delighting_ in it.

"Wei-gongzi," Jin Guangyao says, bowing. "Would you object to keeping Lan Yuan with you today?"

"Of course not," Wei Wuxian says. "But why?"

Jin Guangyao smiles. "With the greatest respect, Wei-gongzi, one of the difficulties we seek to overcome is the... perception, shall we say, that you are a terrifying figure with the power to destroy us all, unbound by all possible limitations or constraints. Lan Yuan is a remarkably well-behaved child and unlikely to be disruptive, and his presence will demonstrate, as nothing else can, that you are a husband and father, a man among men."

Wei Wuxian considers this. "And if A-Yuan is there, you are much less concerned that I will lose my temper. I _have_ noticed, you know, that every time I get angry, someone comes to throw my son at me."

> they aren't subtle

Jin Guangyao inclines his head. "As you say. It will also be easier to persuade our guests that they need not fear your fury if they do not see it."

"What do you think, A-Yuan?" Wei Wuxian turns to his son. "Do you want to come to the boring meeting with Daddy?"

"Daddy!" A-Yuan says happily.

Madam Yu sets her teacup down abruptly. "He's speaking? All this time with nainai, nothing, and he speaks after a day with you?"

A-Yuan giggles. "Nainai!"

She stares. "A-Yuan, have you just been waiting for Daddy and Father?"

A-Yuan nods. Madam Yu sighs.

"I should never have told you so much about them," she says, and returns to her tea.

> Madam Yu: this is everything I wanted and I'm very conflicted about it

\---

Zixuan is nervous. He is still both the newest and the youngest of the leaders of the major sects, and even the minor sects and clans are all led by men who are older than he is, even the handful who rose to leadership during the course of the Sunshot Campaign.

But he is the leader of the Jin, and as a sect, they have their pride, and many among his people would have been deeply offended and upset if he had not insisted upon hosting the banquets and discussions in the aftermath of the Sunshot Campaign. The Unclean Realm was nearer, but for that very reason, already overloaded with wounded taken there for care.

> Yunmeng is also near, but you don't set up your hospital anywhere that damp and humid if you have a choice about it

(Wei Wuxian had insisted that Nie Huaisang could handle the complex priorities of administering the temporary transformation of the Unclean Realm into a hospital, and been proven entirely correct. Nie Huaisang was not a good fighter or a particularly strong cultivator, but he was much more intelligent and able than his lacklustre marks when they were classmates had suggested.)

And so it falls to Jin Zixuan to preside over meetings of his elders.

His father would have had maids cowering on the dais at either side of him.

> I think this is pulled wholly from CQL but it fits either way

Zixuan has maids guarding the boundaries of a little play area, mats softening the marble floor and surrounded by cushions, for Lan Yuan's comfort, with snacks and drinks appropriate for a child at the ready. There are toys.

Jin Guangshan would be livid at the very notion; for that reason, Zixuan thinks, it would be worth doing even if the leaders had not quietly agreed that Lan Yuan's value as an impediment to Wuxian's temper made his presence an outright necessity.

As a leadership strategy, "What would annoy my father most?" had yet to fail Zixuan even once.

> because your father sucked, Jin Zixuan

In the awkward discussions around Wei Wuxian, no-one quite _explicitly_ said that the Sunshot Campaign might well have failed without him and his use of methods that none of them would have known how to use even if they'd been willing to accept the toll it had clearly taken on him. No-one quite _explicitly_ said that, collectively, they owed him a tremendous debt and should probably be taking steps to ensure that his newly - and, Xichen seemed fairly confident, temporarily - brittle temper would not be tested.

> Wei Wuxian was heavily involved in the planning side of the war, and Lan Xichen is pushing hard for his protection now, because Lan Xichen is _highly fucking aware_ of the potential consequences of the world turning against him. Lan Xichen has _picked up on_ the degree to which if Wei Wuxian is threatened, he will respond with _the apocalypse,_ because Wei Wuxian will be determined that no, this time, Jiang Yanli is not going to get caught in the middle and be killed.

But it was strongly implied.

Zixuan feels that going to great lengths to give honour and accommodation to his fiancee's beloved adoptive brother, despite Wuxian's lack of personal rank by birth, would be the best possible path in any case. Wei Wuxian is a man of great personal power and significant general influence on several of the most prominent people in the cultivation world. Zixuan would far rather have him as a friend than an enemy. And his father would disapprove, which is good.

> Jin Zixuan being sensible

And then Jiang Yanli made a point of coming to see him to thank him for his kindness and consideration for her dear brother, and smiled at him warmly _and_ suggested that she hoped that the Jiang Sect would have the opportunity to repay his hospitality at Lotus Pier, which was a clear indication she wanted to see him again and probably soon, which is _excellent_.

> Jin Zixuan also being a lovestruck dumbass.
> 
> But he's not wrong that _being good to her brothers_ is definitely a way to secure Jiang Yanli's heart.

The leaders are starting to arrive. Zixuan really needs to focus, and not daydream about the possibility that Jiang Yanli might be willing to set a date for their wedding.

> Pretty sure she's willing, Zixuan, but it's good that you're still hoping because it seems pretty clear she likes her men pretty but stupid as fuck, good job.

There are sidelong glances from the leaders present when Wuxian and Wangji stroll in, but Zixuan's preparations make it clear that the child is expected and welcome, so no-one actually says anything.

Lan Yuan toddles around the play area under his fathers' watchful eyes, choosing toys according to a system that eludes Zixuan utterly, and putting them in a pile. This process complete, he takes a wooden duck and leans against Wei Wuxian's side to suck on it, looking around the room with wide eyes.

Perhaps the toys were selected according to flavour.

Wen Qionglin enters nervously and hesitantly, escorted by his sister, both wearing new robes in a shade of pale pink, embroidered with a fairly simple pattern of plum blossoms. (The seamstresses and embroiderers of Jinlintai are excellent, and worked hard; there was only so much time available.)

A-Yao arrives, escorting a flustered man who takes the last empty seat, then comes to Zixuan's side. "Su Minshan of the Su Sect of Moling," he murmurs. "He got lost. We should be ready to begin now."

Zixuan really is so grateful to have A-Yao here at Jinlintai. He's never even heard of a Su Sect.

> they're small and they're really shit at everything

\---

The discussion is going well, Zixuan thinks. Having the major decisions already agreed is helpful. A-Yao makes occasional remarks, always with the air of a deferentially helpful assistant merely reminding Zixuan of details that may perhaps have slipped his mind, and somehow the assorted leaders of minor sects and clans all come to agree to the same conclusions that the major sects had already reached.

They could impose the same decisions simply by insisting, by their united will, that things would be so, but there would be resentment. This is undoubtedly preferable.

> Tyranny is risky. Much better to make sure people think doing what you want was their own idea.

But then Su Minshan stands. Zixuan is slightly surprised that the leader of a sect so small he'd never even heard of them would dare to address such a meeting.

> he's a bitch tho

"We have not discussed the matter of the heretical path that came into use during the war," Su Minshan says. He has an ugly, sneering tone. "Surely we must address the use of techniques that are _forbidden_." He puts a strange emphasis on the word, and Zixuan would swear he saw the man glare for a moment at Wangji as if the man had personally offended him.

> Su She is in a snit because Lan Wangji's husband was involved and if people get shirty at Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji will absolutely be caught in that.

A-Yao opens his mouth, but is cut off.

"Good point," Clan Leader Yao says. "Even some of our own cultivators felt the residual effects of the Stygian Tiger Seal. It was Wei Wuxian who had it, was it not?"

> fucking Yao

Zixuan sees A-Yao's eyes narrow for a moment before his expression smooths back to its customary pleasant geniality.

> Yao just made Jin Guangyao's LIST
> 
> I heard about an interview in which his CQL actor said Jin Guangyao divides people into three categories: people to be used, people to be removed from the picture, and Lan Xichen.
> 
> In this timeline, it's more: people who are _his_ and will be _loved and_ _protected_ , which is: his family
> 
> people who are _valuable_ (mostly for the role they play in keeping his family safe), who will also be protected
> 
> people who are useful, and will be used
> 
> people who don't matter, who will be watched, in case they need to be reassigned to another category
> 
> people who are a potential threat, who will be _watched_
> 
> people who will be removed from the picture
> 
> Yao just moved himself from category 4 to category 5.

"It was," says a new voice, and that's _Jin Zixun_ , and oh, Zixuan is _not_ happy. "Perhaps we could all feel... safer, if Wei Wuxian were to surrender the Stygian Tiger Seal?"

> fuck you Jin Zixun, you dead piece of shit

"And to whom," Wuxian says sharply, "would you be suggesting that it should be _surrendered_?"

Lan Yuan tugs on his robes, and Wei Wuxian pulls him into his lap automatically.

> A-Yuan has also noticed that Angry Daddy is his job. Angry Daddy means A-Yuan needs to go and sit in his lap and then Angry Daddy will be Less Angry Daddy.

"Well," Jin Zixun begins, with an unpleasantly smug look, but Zixuan cuts him off.

"Sit down, Zixun."

"But -"

"I said _sit down_." Zixuan glares at his cousin. He will _not_ have Zixun making trouble.

> Jin Zixuan does not want his cousin putting his entire sect on Wei Wuxian's bad side, thanks

Jiang Fengmian rises, and gazes evenly at the room at large until it is quiet, and everyone else has resumed their seats. "Wei Wuxian," he says mildly, "is a valued and honoured member of the Jiang Sect. Items in his possession are one of two things. They are either his own personal property, or they belong to the Jiang Sect, but have been entrusted to his care. If you wish to suggest that this is not the case with regard to the Stygian Tiger Seal, I question your reasoning."

> And this is what Jiang Cheng didn't have the strength of position to do.
> 
> Wei Wuxian is a member of the Jiang Sect. Why, exactly, should anything of his be turned over to anyone _else_?
> 
> Jiang Fengmian, old enough to be confident (Jiang Cheng was a fucking teenager), not faced with Jin Guangshan but could face him down if he was, will not even consider the possibility that Wei Wuxian shall be expected to surrender a damn thing to the other sects.

He strikes an exaggerated pose of consideration. "Now, could it be that there is some suggestion that the item is stolen? I regret to say that anyone with such a view is misinformed. The item was forged by Wei Wuxian himself with the assistance of my wife's grandmother. If you doubt this claim, you are welcome to travel to Meishan and attempt to question the Elder Madam Yu."

Silence. No-one would dare.

> No-one would succeed, either, she doesn't want to talk to you assholes

"Of course," Jiang Fengmian continues, "it could, perhaps, be the case that some of you believe that the most precious treasures of a Sect should be given away at the first demand another might make. If so, I advise you to mark your words, for the Jiang Sect will insist that the rule for one is the rule for all." He smiles thinly, and sits again.

> That's the other half of this defense. _It's Wei Wuxian's. But if it's not his... it's mine._ The Jiang Sect _is strong_. Jiang Fengmian can throw that down.

A-Yao speaks before anyone else can dare. "Sect Leader Jiang is all too kind to clarify the provenance of the spiritual tool of Wei Wuxian.

> In which we all pretend that that was the point of this discussion. "Oh, we definitely know where it came from now? Well that answers MY question," says everyone who doesn't want to go to war with the Jiang Sect.

I'm sure we are all relieved to know that it is blessed by the legendary Madam Yu of Meishan, whose works are famously of the first order." He smiles. "Sect Leader Jiang is wise, thoughtful and just, with the benefit of great wisdom and experience. The Jiang Sect has never sought to gain power at the expense of others, and it is good to know that we can trust his leadership in this difficult time. There is one final matter of importance to discuss: the election of a new Chief Cultivator."

Zixuan blinks. They hadn't really discussed this point in the meeting the previous night, and he wonders if A-Yao was flustered by the deviation from his planned agenda. After that introduction to the topic, especially when Jiang Fengmian has just responded to some outrageous demands so calmly and fairly, hardly anyone will dare suggest anyone but Jiang Fengmian himself!

He resolves not to say anything. A-Yao will only be embarrassed if he realises.

> you adorable dumbass

Unsurprisingly, Jiang Fengmian becomes Chief Cultivator by unanimous agreement (sole objection: Jiang Fengmian, whose modesty is greatly admired), and A-Yao wraps up the conference with the announcement of the Phoenix Mountain Hunt.

\---

It's been a long day, Wei Wuxian thinks, but it went surprisingly well. The meeting wasn't as bad as it could have been, the banquet wasn't intolerably tedious, and now they're back in their quarters with A-Yuan tucked up fast asleep in the infant bed in the other room. No-one is coming to their rooms to hold more meetings, it's just him, and Lan Zhan, and A-Yuan safe.

Lan Zhan slides into the bed and leans over to kiss him, a long, slow, building sort of kiss, kisses along his jawline, his neck.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian murmurs.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan nips at his collarbone. "Missed this." He moves to remove the loose under-robe Wei Wuxian is wearing, and Wei Wuxian lets him.

Thinking about it, Wei Wuxian can't really remember the last time they did anything like this. Early in the Sunshot Campaign, perhaps, when there was less exhaustion, and a little more space for privacy. He has a distant memory of taking Lan Zhan in his mouth when they stopped to wash at a stream, but that surely can't be it - that was the previous spring, and it's spring _now_ , so that would be a whole year. Surely not.

He realises Lan Zhan is moving down his chest, and catches him, draws him up again to kiss him. He can feel Lan Zhan, already hard against his hip.

"Get the oil, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian murmurs against his husband's lips, and rolls over to lie on his stomach, pulling a pillow under his own hips

Lan Zhan doesn't move.

"Lan Zhan?"

"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan pulls him back firmly, just short of rough, and yanks the covers away.

Exposed in the candlelight, Wei Wuxian's lack of arousal is very obvious.

"Lan Zhan, so aggressive -" he tries, but Lan Zhan cuts him off.

" _Wei Ying_." Lan Zhan stares at him. "Do not..."

"What?" He sits up, presses his body against Lan Zhan's, reaches for -

Lan Zhan catches his wrist. "Wei Ying," he says softly. "You are not."

"I know. But you are, and that's enough," Wei Wuxian tries for a smile. "I don't need to be. I want you to have this. You should have this. Ev-" He squeezes his eyes shut, just for a moment. "Every day." He doesn't know how to tell Lan Zhan that it really is okay, it won't bother him at all - most of the time he doesn't really feel anything much at all when he isn't angry, lately, so there's no way this will make him feel bad.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, and his voice is aching. "No. Only if you also want. Not like this."

"It's been too long, Lan Zhan, you need -"

"Need you to be... to be here. To be my husband. Do not need _this_ unless you want it too. Do not _want_ this unless you want it too. This is not... a requirement for loving Wei Ying." Lan Zhan brushes a kiss against his forehead, painfully sweet. "Only require Wei Ying to be Wei Ying."

"I'm not the same person I was before," Wei Wuxian says. He knows Lan Zhan isn't... good at people, needs him to understand this. "I'm not going to be the same Wei Ying ever again. I'm..."

Too damaged. Left too much of himself behind, or perhaps poured too much into Baohu and the Stygian Tiger Seal. Lan Zhan needs to understand that this is _not going to get better_.

"Still Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says firmly. He's silent for a long moment. "It is. Not preferred, but acceptable, to be... as you are. Recovering. Am certain Wei Ying is recovering. But if you are correct. If this is always. Want Wei Ying to be happy. Will never leave Wei Ying for being unhappy." He gives Wei Wuxian back his nightclothes and dresses again in his own.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian sighs. "I don't think I'll ever..."

"Irrelevant," Lan Zhan says. He takes Wei Wuxian's hand and rubs his thumb over the white ribbon at his wrist. "Married me. Stuck with me."

"You could still -"

"No." Lan Zhan nudges him over in the bed. "Can talk. Can hug. Can sleep. Only those."

Wei Wuxian sits very still for long moments, and then sighs. "Yeah. Okay." He's too tired to keep fighting for something he doesn't really want. He can try again another time, perhaps, because Lan Zhan deserves better than this.

Lan Zhan draws him close, wraps his arms around him, holds him as tenderly as ever, lets Wei Wuxian use his shoulder as a pillow and kisses his hair gently. It's sweeter, he thinks sadly, than he deserves, because he doesn't really feel anything at it. The shell of numbness around his heart is untouched.

> That scene hurt to write. No detailed notes.

\---

In the morning, after breakfast, he's sitting on the floor while Lan Zhan plays _Cleansing_ for him, attempting to follow the game that A-Yuan is trying to get him to play.

It's something to do with the arrangement of A-Yuan's toys, but so far his son has given him disappointed looks both when he moves the toys around and when he doesn't.

"Daddy, yes," A-Yuan says seriously, picking up a wooden ball and moving it a little way to the left, and then back to where it started. "Daddy, _no_ ," A-Yuan adds, doing the _exact same thing again_.

Then he looks at Wei Wuxian expectantly.

> toddlers are thugs and also sometimes demons.

The arrival of Madam Yu is almost a relief.

"Nainai!" A-Yuan exclaims happily. He stands carefully and toddles over to Madam Yu, clutching at her skirts with drool-wet hands in a way that will _definitely_ leave marks and creases that she would _absolutely_ have scolded her own children or Wei Wuxian for doing.

A-Yuan is greeted with effusive delight and warmth.

Wei Wuxian can't decide whether he wants to be there when Jiang Cheng sees this or not.

> Jiang Cheng will eventually come to terms with it.
> 
> I was a toddler myself when my family moved countries, but I have Heard Stories of my father's sense of abject betrayal when his mother, who was loving but very strict, was utterly indulgent of her grandchildren.

She sets him back down by his collection of toys and sits gracefully. "Ah, I see we're playing the things-in-places game today," she says.

"How does this work?" Wei Wuxian asks plaintively. "Everything I do is wrong."

"You know, I actually think that's the game," Madam Yu says. "If it isn't, I never worked it out either. Jinzhu apparently gets the answer right every time, but Yinzhu never does. I get the right answer very rarely."

> Me: And the tragedy is that A-Yuan will grow out of this game before he's old enough to explain it, and later, he won't remember.
> 
> V: So how does the game work, actually?
> 
> Me: You think I ever found out?
> 
> V: ... you knew a toddler who did this?
> 
> Me: Yup. Toddlers are terrible.
> 
> (I have known a lot of toddlers.)

"He's just... messing around with us?" Wei Wuxian stares at his son, not sure if he's impressed or horrified.

"He's perfectly behaved in every other respect. Perhaps this is how he channels his urge to make life difficult for the adults around him. It really could be worse," Madam Yu says unconcernedly. "Wei Ying, I wanted to talk to you about something."

He looks up warily. "Oh?"

"Yes." She takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. "Wei Ying. My husband is now His Excellency, the Chief Cultivator. My daughter will marry Jin Zixuan in a few months. My son is a hero. The Jiang Sect has gained eminence. You have married well, and I am already a grandmother. I have everything I have ever wanted since my marriage to Jiang Fengmian. More than I ever thought possible. And I -" She swallows, looks away. "I am unworthy."

"Madam Yu..."

"Hush, Wei Ying." Her hands, folded in her lap, clutch at each other. "I have seen your memories. I have seen myself through _your_ eyes. You feared me. You felt guilt and shame, and you never truly believed you had a place in the only family you remembered, because of me." She looks back at him, and there are tears in her eyes. "Do you think Jiang Cheng would be so averse to admitting that he loves you as his brother if he were less afraid that I would be angry for it? I have wronged you, Wei Ying. And despite that..."

She wipes impatiently at her tears. "Despite that, you risked everything - _everything_ \- for my family. You went to impossible lengths to protect them - and protect _me_ , even though you had no reason to expect that I would thank you for it. You saved my life, and my home, and my husband, and I cannot, for a moment, believe that I deserve it. I wish I could tell myself that you didn't do it for me, that you cared only for the happiness of others, but I know all too well that you did. I know that when I died, you grieved for me. You grieved for this unworthy one, who had not earned your tears."

> Think about what it was like for Madam Yu to see Wei Wuxian's childhoods _\- both of them_ \- through _his_ eyes. To feel what he felt. See herself as he saw her.
> 
> There's a reason she's changed. It hasn't been easy for her, on a number of levels. She has had to deal with a lot of guilt and shame, including for things she _doesn't remember doing_ , and she has had to make a conscious effort to try and change, to do differently.
> 
> I don't want to go into it too much here, it's spoilers for her side-fic, but that definitely goes into how and why she changed.

Madam Yu touches his shoulder. "Thank you, Wei Ying. For my life, and for my family, and for my happiness. I will not apologise for my wrongs, because I do not deserve your forgiveness. I simply want you to know that I know it, and I am thankful. I am thankful that you are a part of my family, that you loved us, and love us still."

This is not something he expected, would ever have expected, perhaps _could_ ever have expected.

Something in him cracks.

> It's the thing you didn't expect that gets you.

He's not sure he likes it, because the veil of numbness, pierced, releases a flood of sheer _hurt_ that he's not confident he can handle, a tidal wave of raw pain, but he can't stop it. He's overwhelmed, and he's not sure how long it is before he becomes aware of himself, of his surroundings again, and he finds himself somewhere he would have never imagined he'd be.

He's sobbing uncontrollably in Madam Yu's lap, with Madam Yu's fingers carding through his hair as he ruins her robes with tears and snot. She's singing something half-familiar - he thinks maybe he remembers her singing it when he was a child, sharing a room with Jiang Cheng, and she would occasionally sing Jiang Cheng to sleep.

Finally his tears slow, and he takes a couple of hitching breaths.

"Your mother would be so very proud of you, Wei Ying," she murmurs.

He wails, he can't help it, and sobs again, dimly aware of A-Yuan pulling himself up by Wei Wuxian's sleeve.

"Daddy cry," A-Yuan says. "Daddy yes."

> Among the things that A-Yuan has learned, in this life, is that if you're sad, you cry, and then people hug you and tell you how loved you are.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> accidentally derped and posted the un-annotated new chapter instead of saving it as a draft because I am still a scrub
> 
> so I finished this one off, HAVE ANOTHER APOLOGY CHAPTER
> 
> (I haven't been writing these for a little while, got all demoralised, but I am back to being all positive about the fic!)

Afterwards, he feels... more.

Not better, exactly. He feels raw, and fragile, and is sharply aware of his own hurts.

But he feels.

> Yeah, I've been there.
> 
> So, hey, fun detail: I got a comment - I'm not going to point out where, the person got yelled at by friends of mine and they apologised - suggesting that my depiction of depression and PTSD was flawed.
> 
> The ironic thing? I got that comment before we actually _got to_ the part of the fic that deals with PTSD (at time of writing, that still hasn't been posted), and the depiction of depression draws heavily on my own experiences with _severe clinical depression._
> 
> All of which is to say: not everyone's experience with mental illness is the same. Just because something doesn't match your own experiences - or worse, other _versions of it you have read_ \- doesn't make it inaccurate.
> 
> Wei Wuxian's recovery was quite simple and quick, mind you, but that's because Wei Wuxian is not the kind of person who's going to be subject to long-term depression. We know, because if Wei Wuxian were the kind of person who's going to be subject to long-term depression, that would already have happened in canon, because dude is _not_ short of experiences to trigger the onset of depression.
> 
> Wei Wuxian was depressed because he just went through a fucking war, he ran himself extremely ragged, and he was just all out of every kind of emotional energy.
> 
> He needed six months to catch up on sleep and spend quiet restful time with his family and cuddle his toddler. He _got_ that, so by the end of it, he was doing a lot better. That's, like... allowed.

Madam Yu kisses his forehead before she leaves, and then Lan Zhan is attentive, affectionate, and solicitous, even in front of other people when shijie and Jiang Cheng stop by in the afternoon.

Shijie brings soup, and lotus seeds, and the warmth of her smile, which has always, he thinks, been his greatest comfort, and he thinks about how long he lived without her, how much it never stopped hurting, and he starts crying again.

He expects Jiang Cheng to shout at him, but he doesn't. Jiang Cheng takes A-Yuan and puts him on his shoulders and stomps around the room growling like a monster until A-Yuan is shrieking with delight and Wei Wuxian is laughing too much to cry.

> Jiang Yanli can comfort him, she always does, but she can't really fix it in any real sense, because Wei Wuxian has never, ever doubted her love for him. That's not his damage.

And then shijie wonders aloud if A-Yuan even knows who his aunt is, and Jiang Cheng lifts him down and hands him over, and it's Jiang Cheng who comes to talk to Wei Wuxian.

"Mother talked to us," Jiang Cheng says, "obviously."

> If Wei Ying needs to be shown love... that isn't her. She can give him comfort, but she can't _fix_ him, not really, because _shijie loves him_ is a bedrock certainty of his existence.

He still looks so young.

"It's hard," Jiang Cheng, "not to..." He scowls. "I hate this," he mutters, and then visibly braces himself. "It's hard not to be jealous of you. Because you're always... you always seem to know what you're doing, even when it seems like you shouldn't, and you always have the answer for everything."

> Jiang Cheng is a teenager who's been dealing with pretty major-scale events and spending a fair amount of time afraid - that he'll fuck up, get things wrong, get people killed, just _not be good enough_ , and Wei Wuxian has, pretty much his whole life, been just kind of ambling along like he already has it all figured out in advance.
> 
> Which he kinda does, but that doesn't really help.

Wei Wuxian smiles wryly. "I cheat."

Jiang Cheng snorts. "You really do, don't you." He looks down, fiddles with Zidian. "I know you've always tried not to make me feel like I'm... less than you. The thing is, I am, and I'm starting to understand that that's okay." He glances up. "After all, you cheat."

"I really do."

"The thing that - the worst part is - fuck, I don't know how to say this." Jiang Cheng huffs in frustration. "Okay. You know what the worst thing is? You know what I really can't stand?"

Wei Wuxian tenses. "What?"

"You really, really think that I hated you. In your - before." He finally looks back at Wei Wuxian, and he's glaring. "And every time I remember that, I feel like a failure. Because I can't - there's just no way that's true, and if I weren't such a shit brother, you'd know that. That I was obviously angry with you and obviously hurt and obviously was absolutely fucking terrible at everything, but there's no way, no way at all, I didn't still - and then I get angry at you, because you're an idiot, because shouldn't you know me better than that? Shouldn't you know I wouldn't stay angry for thirteen years where you were _already dead_ if I hated you? I'd have celebrated your death and _moved on with my life_."

"But - it was my fault that -"

"Shut the _fuck_ up," Jiang Cheng hisses. "Seriously. Don't. Don't you dare tell me you think I believed that you would ever let her get hurt if you could stop it. I may be an asshole, but I'm not an idiot."

> Genuinely the idea that Wei Wuxian would believe that _offends_ him.

"I left you."

"Did I actually ask you to stay?"

Wei Wuxian is silent.

> Jiang Cheng knows himself well enough to know that odds are? He never actually told Wei Wuxian he cared, or that he wanted him to be there, not in so many words.

"I think I got a lot of things wrong, in your - before," Jiang Cheng says quietly. "And I hate it. And I hate that I can't fix it, and I'm shit at, at caring about people. About you. But I..." He stops, and takes a breath, and Wei Wuxian has seen Jiang Cheng go into literal battle with less grim determination than this. "I love you. You're my - I love you, and I'll always love you, and I know, I know _myself_ , I know that there's nothing you could do that would change that."

"Jiang Cheng..."

"No. Shut the fuck up, no arguing, no answering, I said what I said and I know you heard it, we are _not_ talking about this." He pauses. "But you can fucking hug me already, you _asshole_."

> Jiang Cheng is not ready to have an actual dialogue with Wei Wuxian about his feelings. It was hard enough just admitting to them.

He does.

If they both cry when shijie comes over and says, "I'm so proud of you both," then they're not talking about that either.

That night, Wei Wuxian voluntarily goes to bed even before Lan Zhan 'encourages' him to. He's somewhere beyond exhausted, but he feels different - like the day has shattered him, but he's been put back together in a new, better configuration.

Like his wounds haven't _healed_ , but they've been cleaned, and treated, and dressed, and now they _can_.

That night, Wei Wuxian curls close to Lan Zhan because he wants to, needs to, not because he doesn't object.

> There's a huge qualitative difference there.

\---

The next morning, Lan Xichen comes to see them, and Wei Wuxian ponders the logistics of running away from Jinlintai with A-Yuan to take care of. He can't travel as lightly with a toddler, but he really, really would like just _one fucking day_ where he and his husband and his son can be _left alone_ to just... be.

> that's that desperate need for naps and family time.

Thankfully, after greeting Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan politely, Lan Xichen draws Lan Zhan outside to speak to him alone.

When Lan Zhan returns, his expression is... dark. (By Lan Zhan's standards; his lips are faintly pursed and his brows have drawn fractionally together, and his eyes are very slightly narrowed.)

"What's wrong?" Wei Wuxian asks.

"Brother would like you to return to Gusu with me," Lan Zhan says.

"Well, that would make sense. It's not that far from here, and we haven't been back there since... wow, since classes. It's been nearly five years. You haven't even had a chance to go back there since the Wen attacked. Of course you should visit... Lan Zhan?" His husband's expression has only grown darker. "Seriously. What's wrong?"

> Xichen has been alone without his brother for _five years._ Just... you know. Pointing that out.

"Some of the Elders," Lan Zhan bites out, "want to discipline Wei Ying. For use of forbidden techniques."

Ah. Of course.

Wei Wuxian did eventually come to understand that Lan Zhan's insistence, in his first life, that he should return with him to Cloud Recesses was not to punish or imprison him.

He was never convinced that that might not have happened anyway.

"Well," he says, "I did do that. What do you think they have in mind?"

"Do not _care_." Lan Zhan almost growls. "They will not."

"What did Zewu-Jun say?" Wei Wuxian asks carefully, because this is the Lan Zhan who fought his own clan for him, and Wei Wuxian deeply appreciates his husband's smooth, unscarred skin, that _this_ Lan Zhan has never been beaten almost to death for loving him.

"To come now." A huff. "Wei Ying and I are expected to return for the Phoenix Mountain Hunt. They cannot hold you. Brother believes that Uncle will win."

He blinks. "Your uncle? Lan Qiren? What will he win?"

"Argument. With Elders. Uncle is arguing that he was your teacher. If Gusu has standing to discipline Wei Ying, authority is his. That Uncle can discipline Wei Ying. Elders can discipline Uncle."

"Discipline your uncle? For what?"

"Failure to teach better."

Wei Wuxian thinks.

The Elders of the Lan Sect are, he knows, the wellspring of stuffiness. He knew many of them in his second life, and he was aghast to discover that Lan Qiren was positively louche by comparison with some. Lan Qiren was, at least, capable of interacting with the children of other sects.

He is certain that Lan Qiren never liked him, and never will.

He is equally certain that Lan Qiren loves his nephews far beyond his capacity to express it. Once Lan Qiren accepted that Wei Wuxian was a permanent fixture, a necessity for Lan Zhan's happiness, he had been one of Wei Wuxian's strongest allies, even if he had still also been deeply disapproving of pretty much everything about him. (The rules carved into the cliffside still look strangely incomplete without _do not go near Wei Ying_.)

This life, Lan Zhan has already married Wei Wuxian. Lan Qiren attended the wedding and handed Wei Wuxian the ribbon for Lan Zhan. It's very likely the old man has already reached the acceptance stage, and will, in his cranky and disapproving way, do everything he can to protect them.

> no notes there's a side-fic
> 
> a fucking depressing side-fic

"Let's go to Gusu," Wei Wuxian says.

> This is an expression of trust in Lan Qiren, but not in his affection for Wei Wuxian; it's that he thinks Lan Qiren is smart enough to know that attempts by the Lan to punish Wei Wuxian will cause Lan Zhan to renounce the Lan forever. Possibly violently.
> 
> He trusts Lan Qiren won't let that happen.

\---

Along the way, he gets to fulfill a fantasy he'd almost entirely forgotten he'd had.

> Wei Wuxian, in his second life: "I wish it was just me and Lan Zhan and maybe we had a baby. We're really good friends."

Lan Zhan is still concerned about Wei Wuxian's level of exhaustion, and Lan Zhan himself has been spending a lot of his spiritual energy on playing _Cleansing_ for him, so they buy a donkey in Lanling, and go by road. (It's not Lil'Apple, of course; Lil'Apple's _parents_ might not yet even exist.)

> I don't know who's actually right need to rewatch the right parts of CQL or something and see if I can tell, or something, but
> 
> currently
> 
> my biggest problem with other people's characterisation and interpretation of canon is the number of people who think Lil' Apple is a boy, and for reasons unspecified I am convinced Lil' Apple is female.
> 
> like, I don't even know why I think that
> 
> but I DO

He realises it as they're passing through the hills that rise towards the mountains that hold Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian is riding on the donkey, and Lan Zhan is walking with A-Yuan on his shoulders, holding the rein in one hand, and securing their son with the other.

A-Yuan points at things, and Lan Zhan patiently tells him the names of them.

It's perfect, and Wei Wuxian feels another shattered piece of himself lock back into place.

\---

Lan Xichen meets them at the gates. It's mid-afternoon, and A-Yuan is asleep in Lan Zhan's arms, having become accustomed already to having his naps as they travel.

> Actually, he's accustomed to having his naps while being carried around because Lotus Pier couldn't spare people to guard him while he napped in one place, and there was no way in hell he was being left unguarded.

After greeting them, Lan Xichen explains, "Uncle has asked me to escort you to your quarters and explain the punishment he has ordered. He is... unavailable."

"Is something wrong?"

"Not as such. The Elders were... displeased, but Uncle was quite obstinate. He insists that as Young Master Wei's teacher, any... lapses that have followed are his responsibility. Accordingly he reserves the privilege of discipline to himself. The Elders suggested that if that was his view, then perhaps he too should be disciplined."

Wei Wuxian stares. "What did Master Lan say?"

> Wei Wuxian didn't expect it to actually get that far.

Lan Xichen's expression is bland. "He said that if that was their conclusion, he would await them in the ancestral hall. I'm sure you understand why, then, he asked that I convey his instructions to you."

Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian realises, is recovering from being beaten with discipline rulers if he's lucky, and if not -

"Did they -" He almost doesn't want to ask.

"He was not whipped." Lan Xichen says reassuringly. "In any case, his orders are clear. Wei Wuxian is forbidden to eat with everyone else at the dining hall. Nainai, who commands the kitchens, has agreed that she will supply meals for all three of you separately, or you may request ingredients to prepare yourselves. While it would undoubtedly be of educational benefit for you to make use of the Library Pavilion, you will not be permitted to remain there. Special dispensation for you to borrow texts has been arranged."

He begins leading them into the Cloud Recesses themselves. "You will not, I regret to say, be permitted to stay in the usual accommodations for guests, or in Wangji's old room - if it still existed. I'm afraid that building was damaged in the attack by the Wen, and in Wangji's absence, it seemed purposeless to retain an empty room. Such belongings as you left here have been moved to another location, which will be kept for you henceforward."

"Where?" Lan Zhan asks.

Lan Xichen is silent for a long moment. "It was formerly our mother's cottage." He clears his throat. "Uncle has ordered that no-one other than your family will be permitted to visit you there."

> that was, in fact, Lan Qiren's idea, because he's painfully aware of the deep wellspring of trauma in his nephews, and he would do anything, ANYTHING to fix it, but he does not know _how_ , and this? This is him trying, because he has seen them with the kid, and just
> 
> A-Yuan is a sweet kid and the adults around him would love him anyway, but right now he's also the _only_ small child in the extended family, and they just got out of a war, A-Yuan is hope and the future they fought for given form, and Lan Qiren has hopes that A-Yuan will be _healing_ for his nephews, will be what makes them find one another again as a _family_.

Wei Wuxian considers this.

So his punishment is to eat his meals with his husband and son, without the furious glares of the Lan Sect if he should speak during the course of them; to have access to the books of the Library Pavilion, and dispensation to take them home and read in comfort; and to be left alone, visited only by family.

All while, perhaps, allowing Lan Zhan to form new memories of that place of sadness, with his own family, his own child, who is not and will not be limited to seeing either of his parents on only one day each month.

> There is just
> 
> _no possibility_
> 
> The more assholish Lan elders haven't twigged this, but Lan Qiren absolutely has: if they were to try and separate Lan Yuan from Wei Wuxian, if they were to try and make Lan Wangji choose between Jiang and Lan for himself or for his son?
> 
> It'll be Jiang, because the Jiang? _Are not trying that._ The Jiang are like, yup, **Lan** Yuan is one of ours, we love and adore him, and the Jiang also treat Lan Wangji as one of theirs, too, and no-one has ever said a word about his Lan-ness. They respect the ribbon, no-one expects him to talk during meals, that one time someone gave him alcohol it was a joke that was predicated on the assumption that he'd _know it was a joke and not drink it_ and everyone was _very very sorry,_ etc.
> 
> (Lan Wangji has, by the way, _noticed_ that the Jiang treat _him_ far better than his own sect treats Wei Ying, and he is highly irritated by that contrast.)

"He forgot to demand that I must be forced to drink at least one jar of Emperor's Smile each day," he murmurs.

Lan Xichen smiles at the acknowledgement that he understands Lan Qiren's kindness. "Alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses," is all he says.

\---

Their stay in the Cloud Recesses is restful.

Lan Wangji feels years of tension begin to uncoil from him across weeks in which there are no demands on him to be anything other than husband and father.

> Lan Wangji has also had a rough couple of years.

Wei Ying sleeps a lot. He naps even more than their son does. He reads, and takes walks in the forest, and plays with A-Yuan. Wei Ying lies in the sun in grassy meadows, and laughs until tears come when Lan Wangji buries A-Yuan in rabbits. Wei Ying plays Baohu not to summon armies of corpses, but to make their son laugh and clap and dance. Wei Ying makes notes, but also paints - portraits of Lan Wangji, of A-Yuan, sketches of the landscapes of the Cloud Recesses, paintings of a strange, dark town Lan Wangji doesn't recognise.

Wei Ying receives a letter, very formal, inviting his attendance at the wedding of Jiang Wanyin and Wen Qing, and smiles.

Lan Wangji's memories of the cottage as a place of silence and grief are crowded out by memories of Wei Ying's smile and A-Yuan's laughter. Where he remembers only loneliness, there is Wei Ying, dozing half-sprawled across his chest, or A-Yuan giggling and calling to him, A-Yuan sitting on Lan Wangji's foot and wrapping his little arms and legs around his calf.

Wei Ying occasionally frets at him about their lack of sexual activity. Lan Wangji is wholly unmoved. He cannot deny that he misses it, somewhat, but what he misses is not currently available. He misses Wei Ying's joy in it, his enthusiasm, his desperation, his need; without that, the idea is actively distasteful to him.

> Because Lan Wangji is not an asshole.
> 
> I was worried about this part, a little, because some people seem _really_ invested in the "every day" thing, but... sometimes, that's just really not a healthy relationship dynamic.
> 
> In this timeline, they never really have the "every day" mindset, because in this timeline, they were only married for a couple of weeks before they were out on battlefields, and that was a good couple of _years_ , and then they were _parents_ , and sometimes actual life gets in the way of your sex life.
> 
> Fortunately, people took it really well! Which is good, because healthy relationships are important.

When Wei Ying wants, truly wants, Lan Wangji will be more than ready. Until that time, Lan Wangji has Wei Ying, and A-Yuan, and peace, and the crisp morning air of the Cloud Recesses.

This, he thinks, is happiness.

> HAPPY FAMILY TIME.

\---

They've been there three months and Wei Wuxian is down to a mere one nap per day when his sense of peaceful relaxation is interrupted.

Wei Wuxian has not been ungrateful for Lan Qiren's protection and kindness, so he has taken care not to break any of the rules of the Cloud Recesses where there's any risk he'll get caught.

> obviously this is not the same thing as _not breaking the rules at all_

On this afternoon he's making an innocuous and wholly permitted trip to the Library Pavilion when he sees a boy in Lan Sect robes walking sedately down the path. Wei Wuxian smiles reflexively. The boy returns his smile more readily than most Lan Sect disciples, and Wei Wuxian feels the blood drain from his face, and he almost stumbles, because that is a memorable smile.

The boy looks concerned, and reaches to steady him, and it's all Wei Wuxian can do not to flinch. "Are you all right, Master?" the boy asks. "Do you need assistance?"

"I'm fine," Wei Wuxian says. "Tell me, disciple, what is your name?"

The boy smiles radiantly. "This one's name is Xue Yang!"

\---

Xichen pauses to compose himself before he approaches the cottage, bracing for what he rather expects will be a distinctly awkward conversation.

Unfortunately, he has clearly already approached too closely, because Wuxian yanks the door open and steps out, closing it behind him, giving Xichen a flat stare.

"Wuxian," Xichen bows.

"What the _fuck_ ," Wei Wuxian replies.

Xichen sighs. There is no point trying to avoid this. "I went and found him. I got there before Chang Cian could harm him. I know I should have told you, but there never seemed to be a suitable time. As best I can determine, he carries no grudges against anyone."

"No-one? Are you sure? He hasn't been disciplined here? Because if he's had one strike of the discipline rulers, he may yet plan to kill your entire clan."

"Actually, he hasn't been disciplined at all. He's the most promising boy in his class. His behaviour is flawless, and he's an excellent student."

> And Lan Xichen loves him, because for the last five years, A-Yang was _all he had._

"Of course he's an excellent student. He's a genius. He's just also a _crazy murder genius_."

"He has shown no violent tendencies at all. I am cautiously optimistic as to his future."

> this is both no-really-it's-going-well and please-please-let-it-be-okay because he loves that kid.

Wuxian is staring at him.

"In any case, killing is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."

> Xichen, any time Xue Yang has to leave the Cloud Recesses: *sweats*

"Why would he care?"

Xichen smiles. "If he breaks the rules, he doesn't get candy."

"Shit," Wuxian says. "That might actually work."

"Indeed."

Wuxian nods, and smiles, the clouds dispersing like mist in the sunlight. "Would you like some tea?"

"I would, thank you."

Inside, Wangji is sitting at his guqin with A-Yuan sitting on his lap in tiny white robes. A-Yuan has a little drum, which he is banging erratically as Wangji plays. Wangji's expression is soft and sweet.

> And that, right there, is why Lan Xichen is 100% on Wei Wuxian's side. Because Wangji is happy, and he wants his little brother to be happy. He doesn't think about how much it hurts that he could never manage this, could never reach Wangji like Wei Wuxian does, even though that does, in fact, _fucking hurt_ , because it's enough that someone can, someone is, that Wangji loves and is loved.

Xichen does not make a delighted squealing sound at the overwhelming cuteness of the scene, but it's quite a near thing.


	19. Chapter 19

It is autumn in the hunting grounds of Phoenix Mountain.

> The Sunshot Campaign ended in spring, which gave them six months plus of quiet, family healing time, and honestly, I think Wei Wuxian is pretty much over his depression.
> 
> If Wei Wuxian were susceptible to chronic depression, he would have been overwhelmed by it _long_ before it got to this point. He was burned out and exhausted, but what he mostly needed was rest and comfort, and he's had that.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan delivered A-Yuan to Madam Yu in the morning, before she went to join Madam Jin in the watching tower and they went to join the riding formations. They ride together in between the Jiang and Lan sects. There's an audible sigh from the young women who throw flowers at the cultivators they find handsome, and Wei Wuxian tries not to look smug when he picks out the word "married" from the murmur of their conversation.

> He does not succeed. He's very pretty and he's with his very pretty husband and he knows that most of the young women think at least _one_ of them is gorgeous.

He catches the flower shijie throws to him and smiles, waving up at her.

> ... but he already knows who _his_ favourite girl is and always will be, and it's his sister.

Ahead of them Jin Zixuan has reached the target arena, the obstacles for entry to the hunt on the mountain. He pushes his horse to a canter, and Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes as Zixuan's arrow hits the centre of the seven concentric target rings.

"If anyone here remains unconvinced, then feel free to try if you can shoot better than Zixuan!"

> It was competent but just not that exceptional, Zixun.

_A whole other lifetime, and Jin Zixun is still such an unpleasant person_ , Wei Wuxian thinks.

> yeah fuck that guy

Zixun is staring at him, sneering, and he can't help but roll his eyes. "Hey Lan Zhan," he says, "want to help me?"

Lan Zhan blinks at him. "How?"

"Can I borrow your forehead ribbon?"

Wordlessly, Lan Zhan unties the ribbon and hands it across.

> And here we see that Wei Wuxian is rather playing with the events he remembers, here. Because _this_ time he can ask for Lan Zhan's ribbon and Lan Zhan will just straight-up hand it over and that's another thing to be smug about.

"What are you doing?" Jiang Cheng demands, from where he's pulled up his horse nearby.

Wei Wuxian smiles, and wraps Lan Zhan's ribbon around his eyes as a neat and careful blindfold. Urging his horse forward, he concentrates, draws, and looses an arrow.

> If we're assuming they're CQL-ish he had to wrap it several times, even though we're not, wholly, because the CQL ribbons were blue and I keep describing these ones as white.

The watching crowds cheer.

Jin Zixun snorts. "It's only the opening archery event, and you're already showing off. Can you keep your eyes covered throughout the hunt? Later, on Phoenix Mountain, we can show our real abilities, and see who's really the better one!"

Wei Wuxian turns towards him.

"A contest between you and me?" he queries.

"Yes!"

"To see which of us is superior?" He smiles.

"Yes!"

Wei Wuxian tilts his head as if in thought. "And then, Young Master, will you light a candle, and challenge the moon?"

> This line was originally, _will you light a candle, and challenge the sun?_
> 
> But Velithya pointed out - not unreasonably - that that would be a risky way for him to phrase it, less than a year after the end of the _Sun_ shot campaign. And even Wei Wuxian is capable of learning some ways in which it's better not to make yourself look like too much of a dangerous egomaniac.

He leaves the blindfold on anyway as he dismounts and strolls towards the path of entry, Lan Zhan at his side. A thought has occurred to him.

> "Hey, let's relive a memory, but better!"

\---

Lan Wangji follows Wei Ying some distance along the path, watching carefully for anything that seems like it might be a danger to him, blindfolded as he is.

Finally they come to an obstacle - a thick branch, growing from an even thicker tree, that blocks the path. Wei Ying tests its sturdiness, and then jumps up to sit on it.

"And now, Lan Zhan, I want you to walk away for a little while, and then come back and kiss me without saying anything."

> I honestly can't tell if this counts as kink.

Lan Wangji blinks.

An odd request, but hardly objectionable.

He walks a short distance away and waits, watching his husband. Wei Ying seems relaxed, one leg kicking idly in the air. But he's blindfolded, with _Lan Wangji's_ forehead ribbon, and Lan Wangji is keenly aware of the way the air brushes across his own exposed skin. The way the ends of the ribbon trail across Wei Ying's shoulders, matching the ribbon he wears at his wrist.

The one at his wrist declares that Lan Wangji is Wei Ying's.

The one that covers his eyes whispers that Wei Ying is _his_.

> There's a subtle distinction here that I like a lot.
> 
> Their relationship, this time around, has been shaped by different events and different traumas, and Lan Zhan is _mostly_ less possessive, because he's never felt like he has to be. Everyone knows that he and Wei Ying are a couple, and at this time, Wei Ying has yet to flirt with anyone else where Lan Zhan can see. (Eventually, he will, but not before they've had some time to be settled together without any major traumatic events happening to unsettle Lan Zhan's equilibrium, because when Lan Zhan's equilibrium is unsettled, Wei Ying flirting with other people upsets him. When Lan Zhan is feeling content and secure, he doesn't care, because why would he? Wei Ying is his. If Wei Ying is being flirty, that just means other people are seeing how wonderfully delightful and charming Wei Ying is, but they can't _have_ him.)
> 
> But Wei Ying wears the ribbon Lan Zhan wore through his childhood. It symbolises that Lan Zhan has given _himself_ to Wei Ying. It's very important and meaningful, in a quite pure, sweet way.
> 
> The ribbon he wears _now_ though, like that - that's... a whole other thing. That's all of his self-control being used to _control Wei Ying_ in some way and that is elevating his sense of the hotness of Wei Ying from _burning_ to _surface of the sun_.

The ribbon represents self-regulation.

Lan Wangji is feeling dangerously unregulated.

His steps are slow, careful as he moves back towards Wei Ying.

Wei Ying _asked_ him to kiss him.

Lan Wangji will oblige, because he feels oddly as if he might simply die if he does not.

> "blindfolded Wei Ying on Phoenix Mountain" is also just generally unbearable for Lan Zhan's self-control

\---

It's not the same as the kiss Wei Wuxian distantly remembers.

It's better.

His back still hits the tree trunk, but he knows this is Lan Zhan, this time, and Lan Zhan kisses him expertly now, knowingly - but Lan Zhan, for some reason, still seems to be shaking.

Wei Wuxian deepens the kiss, wraps his legs around Lan Zhan's hips to draw him closer and - oh, he's _hard_ , they both are, Wei Wuxian has want coiling tight in his belly for the first time in a long, long time, and they're on Phoenix Mountain with thousands of cultivators all wandering in the area.

He doesn't care. He doesn't want to stop. When Lan Zhan goes to pull away, he follows, pressing their hips together meaningfully.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says softly, "I - you -"

"Please, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian whispers, "please, please, please, I need -"

> to remember that you are seriously not in a place that is even _close_ to private enough for this.
> 
> Your families have been very supportive of your relationship, but getting caught having anything close to sex in the middle of a crowd hunt will NOT GO DOWN WELL

"... just a Measuring Snake," says another voice, and they both freeze.

\---

One of the nice things about autumn on a mountain is that the air is quite chilly, especially in the shade, and comfort requires dressing in layers; sufficient that no observer will be able to tell if, say, a given individual stopped to make out with his husband until they both nearly came in their pants.

\---

Wei Wuxian knows better than most that Lan disciples are taught from childhood that the ribbon represents self-regulation, and they all take it very seriously.

He's long since noticed the tendency for Lan Zhan, at least, to get a little bit... headstrong when his ribbon is off.

So when they hear people approaching, the first thing he does is replace Lan Zhan's ribbon, because his husband is visibly struggling to regain his customary calm demeanour.

> Look, they haven't had sex in the best part of two years and that little interlude was _a lot_ for his self-control to handle

"Later," Wei Wuxian whispers, because he hasn't felt like this in a long time, and now he _wants_.

Lan Zhan nods, and straightens, adjusting his robes.

> Despite that, Lan Zhan's nod means: "We will return to _the subject_ later but I'm not promising sex unless you can convince me you still actually want it."
> 
> Because he is a good husband.

"I've never liked them," and that's his shijie's voice. "Perhaps they would be less irritating if I were taller," she says, with a light laugh.

"You're the perfect height." That's _Jin Zixuan_ and Wei Wuxian thinks that hearing him flirt with his shijie is almost worse than hearing him upset her. Except it isn't, obviously, but that's only because shijie being upset is the _worst thing_. This nonetheless comes close enough that he's sorely tempted to break a tree just to disrupt their conversation.

> fundamentally the problem is that Wei Wuxian thinks Jiang Yanli is too good for Jin Zixuan and can anyone actually say that he's wrong?

He settles for jumping down from his perch and jogging to the crest of the ridge, where he can see them, and waving. "Shijie! Zixuan! How is your hunting?"

"A-Xian!" Shijie smiles. "And Wangji! We aren't really hunting, just taking a walk. How is yours?"

"Eh." He rubs his nose. "We are also just taking a walk, really." Of course, if Zixuan and his shijie have been taking the kind of 'walk' Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan were just taking, Wei Wuxian will _kill Zixuan_.

> They absolutely have not, Wei Wuxian, because Jin Zixuan wouldn't even dare to _think_ about it, because he pretty much assumes that that would result in you killing him, if Jiang Wanyin didn't get there first.

"It is a beautiful day for walking," shijie agrees. "And I suppose it's pleasant not to worry about A-Yuan for a little while."

"Yes and no," Wei Wuxian admits. "It's strange. We've had him this whole time, and I was looking forward to a break, but at the same time, I already miss him. It's probably a good thing to have the time without him anyway, so then we can be happier to have him back."

"I'll have to remember that," she says, with a glance at Jin Zixuan, who smiles in a way that Wei Wuxian finds personally offensive.

> HOW DARE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU THINK HER HYPOTHETICAL FUTURE BABIES MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU, GUY WHO IS DEFINITELY THE ASSUMED FATHER OF HER HYPOTHETICAL FUTURE BABIES

"Oh, A-Xian. Did you see Zixuan brought Qin Su, today? She and Wen Qionglin came to breakfast with us."

Wei Wuxian glares. "You and him?!"

Shijie just laughs.

> "My brothers are so cute when they're psychotically overprotective."

"Him, and me, and Mother, and Madam Jin, and Second Young Lady Mo, and Jin Guangyao. Such a scandal, A-Xian. Anyway, Qin Su and Wen Qionglin are so cute together! He's so very sweet. He refills her tea if she takes so much as a sip, and says the most charming things so earnestly."

Jin Zixuan grins. "The first time I introduced them, he bowed to her twice, then asked me if he could have a word with me, because he didn't want to offend me, and he was very sure that I had tried my best, but perhaps there was some mistake and did I have another sister because this one was too pretty for a political marriage. He was so flustered he said all of that before we stepped away from A-Su. I think she would have married him right then."

> look if you don't love Wen Ning just gtfo

"He's so cute, I want to adopt him," shijie says.

"I know exactly what you mean," Wei Wuxian says, because he does.

Their conversation is interrupted as they see the glow of approaching swords, and then Jin Zixun, at the head of a group, comes storming into the clearing.

> In the book it was like 100 people but I couldn't figure out how that would work, tbh.

"Zixuan, is Wei making trouble for you?" He glares at Wei Wuxian. "Why are you always bothering people?"

Wei Wuxian looks at him with a carefully neutral expression. "Who are you?"

He knows, of course, but he also knows that it will infuriate Jin Zixun for him to ask, and he really, really dislikes Jin Zixun.

Surprisingly, Lan Zhan answers. "He is Jin Zixun. Uncle has mentioned him. Jin Zixun offered his assistance in the defense of Gusu a month after the very last Wen attack. You did not meet him, as he did not at any time come to fight at the front."

> game

Jin Zixun flushes. "I had an injury."

"Of course," Lan Zhan says. "How fortunate that you have since recovered fully, after being injured for so long. It was brave of you to offer your services at all, with cultivation weak enough to permit of such persistent difficulty."

> set

Shijie laughs, very softly and demurely, and Wei Wuxian blinks and looks at her, because there is _no way_ she didn't know that that would only make Jin Zixun angrier, and there is also no way that she couldn't have contained her amusement if she'd wanted to.

"You!" Jin Zixun snarls, and draws his sword. "Do you want to see if my cultivation is weak?"

Lan Zhan bows. "I meant no insult. I assumed that you could not have been absent from the battlefield due to cowardice. I apologise for my error."

> MATCH

Wei Wuxian has a moment to consider that this is really _unfairly_ attractive under the circumstances before Jin Zixun roars, and attacks. Lan Zhan has Bichen at the ready instantly, but Jin Zixun's sword is blocked before it can get there; Jin Zixuan, looking coldly furious, has stepped between them with Suihua.

> "you asshole Jiang Yanli was walking with me and she was smiling and laughing and then her brother showed up and he hasn't even threatened me yet, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING THIS UP FOR ME"
> 
> "also you're embarrassing the sect rn"

Only moments later, Madam Jin arrives.

She looks immediately at shijie. "A-Li, are you all right?"

Shijie nods. "Thank you, Madam, I am fine."

"Good." Madam Jin whirls on her nephew. "Jin Zixun, do you want to die? What are you doing? Are you attacking our guests?"

> "YOU LITTLE SHIT Jiang Yanli was walking with my son and she was smiling and laughing and then her brother showed up and my son hasn't even fucked up himself yet, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING THIS UP FOR ME"
> 
> "also you're embarrassing the sect rn"

Jin Zixun takes a step back. "Aunt, I -"

"Silence." He shuts his mouth, visibly fuming. "Zixuan. What is going on?"

Zixuan lowers Suihua, but does not sheathe it, and his eyes are fixed on his cousin. "Zixun arrived and immediately offered great offense to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian expressed his confusion, as he did not recognise Zixun. Hanguang-Jun attempted to remind him, as is only to be expected of one so renowned for his courtesy. Zixun took offense at his words, despite their accuracy, and attacked."

> because no-one likes Jin Zixun

Madam Jin nods. "Zixun, do you have any justification for your outrageous behaviour? The Lan Sect will not take kindly to assaulting Sect Leader Lan's brother."

Jin Zixun scowls. "Wei has -"

" _Wei Wuxian_ ," Zixuan cuts him off, biting off the words.

> Manners, dickhead.

"Wei _Wuxian,_ " Jin Zixun says sullenly, "has been showing off his abilities. On such an important hunt involving all of the sects! More than a third of the prey has already been taken!"

Lan Zhan's head tilts slightly to the side. "One third of the prey?"

One of Jin Zixun's crowd of followers speaks up. "You should know already, Hanguang-Jun! A while ago, we searched for a long time and realised that not a single fierce corpse or resentful spirit is left in the grounds!"

Another shouts, "We only know what happened because we asked Jin Guangyao and he said that almost as soon as the hunt began, the corpses and spirits just walked into the Jiang Sect's nets and surrendered themselves!"

Wei Wuxian laughs. "And you think that means I did it?"

Zixun glares. "Your reputation is well known. And before the hunt began, I challenged you to show your real abilities. But this is just a crooked path!"

Shijie speaks up. "Actually, this is an insult to the Jiang Sect," she says in a chill tone. "Is it your suggestion that the Jiang Sect can't hunt without Wei Wuxian? That if cultivators of the Jiang Sect have captured prey, it must have been his work, not theirs?"

> tread carefully

"Isn't it a little bit presumptuous for Jiang Yanli to be saying this?" Jin Zixun demands.

"How so?" Lan Zhan asks. "Jiang-guniang is a senior member of the Jiang Sect."

"Jin Zixun," Madam Jin says icily, "will apologise most abjectly for his insult to the Jiang and Lan Sects."

"I will do no such thing!" Jin Zixun shouts.

"You will," Jin Zixuan says flatly.

Jin Zixun looks around at the large crowd of witnesses. He's already declared that he will not; what little face he has left will be destroyed if he kowtows now.

"I will not," Jin Zixun declares defiantly.

"Very well." Jin Zixuan turns to Jin Guangyao, who arrived with Madam Jin. "A-Yao. Please arrange on your return to Jinlintai for Zixun's _personal_ belongings to be packed. He may receive them if he presents himself at the gate to request them. The guards may on no account allow him entry." He turns back and looks coldly at his cousin. "Zixun is no longer a member of the Jin Sect. If he is determined to walk this path, we will no longer shelter him from the consequences."

"What?" Jin Zixun exclaims. "You can't do that!"

"Of course I can," Jin Zixuan says. "You attacked Hanguang-Jun. While no-one would expect you to be a serious danger to him,

> This is just not a good day for Jin Zixun

that is still an insult to the Lan Sect. You have openly insulted the Jiang Sect, and you refuse to apologise. Do you think the Jin Sect will oppose the Lan, the Jiang, and the _Chief Cultivator_ for you when _you_ are the one who is wrong?"

He deliberately turns away. Jin Zixun's followers are all backing away from him.

Madam Jin speaks. "Hanguang-Jun, Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian. I apologise on behalf of my family for my nephew's insult."

She goes to bow. Shijie steps forward and catches her hands. "For the Jiang Sect, that is not necessary," she says hurriedly.

"Nor for the Lan," Lan Zhan allows.

> Lan Zhan is a massive bitch but he's target-specific.

Wei Wuxian is relieved. He's not sure he could quite handle the sight of _Madam Jin_ humbling herself, even as the representative of her family rather than her sect.

> about that

"Perhaps," Jin Zixuan suggests, "Jiang-guniang, Wangji and Wuxian would like to accompany my mother and me back to the watching towers for refreshments."

"Don't just walk away from me!" Jin Zixun howls.

The next few moments are busy.

Jin Zixun, purple with fury, charges towards them, though whether his target is Zixuan, Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian or even Madam Jin is unclear.

Zixuan and Lan Zhan both whirl, drawing their own swords. Wei Wuxian pulls Madam Jin back and pushes her behind him.

> Wei Wuxian's instincts are generally chivalrous. The guy who threw himself in front of a branding iron for MianMian will also stand between Madam Jin and a sword, because his shijie is strong, and Madam Jin hasn't night-hunted in over twenty years, she's admirable but possibly rusty.

And shijie moves diagonally to step to Jin Zixun's side, tripping him neatly and slapping a paperman talisman on his back. Jin Zixun tries to get up, and can't.

> because yes _of course_ he taught her that.

Wei Wuxian spent a lot of time hitting the ground to practice that move with her. Every moment was worth it just for this.

> Seriously, teaching shijie to be a better fighter included many, many hours of shijie beating the crap out of him, but it was okay, because a) this happened and b) also she always fussed over him afterwards, and getting fussed over by shijie is the best thing that can possibly happen to him without Lan Zhan being in the room

Zixuan and Lan Zhan sheathe their swords again.

"Refreshments sound lovely," shijie says.

> It's the classy way to say "you just got your ass kicked by a girl ya lil bitch"

Wei Wuxian glances back as they walk away. Someone appears to be trying unsuccessfully to lift the talisman off Jin Zixun's back.

He hears Jin Guangyao speak. His voice is blandly polite. "I regret to say, Jin Zixun, that I must reclaim your crested robes before you depart."

\---

At the watching tower, Wei Wuxian looks out at the view of the mountain. He is relieved to note that the spot where he was kissing Lan Zhan is obscured by the trees, even if the area below it is visible.

> If it wasn't Madam Yu would have thrown Zidian at you before it went quite that far, because she _knows_ what happened on Phoenix Mountain the first time.

He can just make out a tiny Jin Zixun on the ground, wiggling as Jin Guangyao's men slide his outer robes, with the embroidered crest that marks him as a senior member of the Jin Sect, out from under the talisman and off him. Tiny-distant Jin Guangyao bows, and returns to the tower too.

Maids set out tea, and little decorated cakes, and small, artistically arranged savoury dishes. One brings forward a separate covered dish, and serves some equally artistic dishes that are a luridly bright red, which are served exclusively to Wei Wuxian.

He's touched. Jin Guangyao always had a gift for hospitality.

He smiles at the woman who sets out his dishes, and is pleased when she smiles pleasantly back. The maids of Jinlintai have become far more pleasing to see in the years since Jin Guangshan's death. He remembers pretty women who looked perpetually frightened and unhappy, who lowered their eyes and avoided meeting his gaze, scurrying anxiously to perform their duties.

Wei Wuxian has heard rumours that a cultivator behaved improperly towards a maid not long after the conclusion of the Sunshot Campaign. She told Madam Meng and Madam Sisi, who are said to take tea with women of all ranks, and Madam Meng told her son, who told his brother, who banished the cultivator from his sect upon the spot.

Now the maids of Jinlintai are cheerful and unafraid, and no longer pretty, but beautiful with it.

> Happy, confident women who feel good about themselves are always beautiful.

Madam Yu was already at the watching tower when they arrived, sitting next to a long woven basket with a padded interior in which A-Yuan appears to be soundly asleep. Wei Wuxian thinks how useful that would have been, travelling with their son. He really should have thought of something like that.

He's not used to having A-Yuan and still being wealthy at the same time.

> get used to it, you're rich as fuck all by yourself even before you factor in your rich husband or your allegiance to your rich sect

"What happened?" Madam Yu asks, glancing towards the struggling Jin Zixun. Her voice is quiet and her tone moderate, but Wei Wuxian suspects that that is solely due to the presence of her sleeping grandson.

"My nephew has disgraced our sect and family for the last time," Madam Jin says tartly.

> Jin Zixun is an embarrassment a _lot_ of the time and Jin Guangshan is not around to let him get away with it.

"He gave insult to both the Lan and Jiang Sects, and refused to apologise," Zixuan says. "He was in the wrong. I cannot stand by him." He doesn't sound particularly sorry.

Madam Yu raises an eyebrow. "I saw him attack Wangji. What could he possibly have been thinking?"

Lan Zhan sips his tea, face impassive.

> biiiiitch

Shijie smiles. "Wangji attempted to remind A-Xian who Jin Zixun was," she explains.

"Zixun appears to have taken great offense to Hanguang-Jun's level of accuracy," Zixuan adds. "He was... extremely accurate."

> He was the _bitchiest_ possible accurate.

Shijie giggles. "A-Cheng will enjoy hearing about this later."

Wei Wuxian wishes they'd stop talking about it. He still has to be around all these people, and seeing Lan Zhan set a logic trap in which Jin Zixun had to admit to being either a weak cultivator or a coward was _painfully_ attractive. It's unfair.

> If Wei Wuxian didn't have a Thing for sexy bitches he wouldn't be quite so in love with Lan Zhan, it is what it is

(It's also unfair that his libido deserted him entirely for so long, and yet on its return has still brought with it a keen awareness of _just how long_ it's been.)

Still, it's nice that apparently he's not the only one who found Jin Zixun so unpleasant.

Shijie turns to Wei Wuxian. "A-Xian, did you really not do anything?"

> SHIJIE: HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE MY LITTLE BROTHER
> 
> also shijie: so like did you actually do it or...

"I didn't," he says. "No, I really didn't! Jiang Cheng and Uncle Jiang and I met yesterday. I finished the designs for some new lure flags while we were at Gusu. The library of the Cloud Recesses is very good, it was helpful. The Jiang Sect are testing them today. Uncle Jiang is going to tell the other sects about lure flags at the banquet this evening. Probably just the more basic ones, the new ones could be a bit tricky for people who aren't used to them, but we thought it might be nice to demonstrate what they can do."

"Lure flags?" Zixuan asks. "Lures for spirits?"

"Yes!" Wei Wuxian grins. "They're really very useful, especially for night-hunting. You can use them to attract spirits before you fight them, so they'll come away from populated areas, for example, and you can trap them more safely."

"A-Xian has developed many new uses for talismans and flags," shijie says proudly. "Now that Father is the Chief Cultivator, we are preparing to offer some of his designs for everyone to use."

> Jiang Fengmian being the Chief Cultivator is going to be a shitload of headaches for Jiang Fengmian, because he's _nice_ and _accommodating_ and people are going to start coming to complain at him over every fucking tedious little disagreement, but it's also going to be convenient for Wei Wuxian

"His Excellency is most generous," Zixuan says. "I'm looking forward very much to seeing them."

"Hm," Wei Wuxian says. "Jin Guangyao!"

"Yes, Wei Wuxian?" Jin Guangyao is immediately attentive.

"If there are other new devices that are actual devices, and I don't have many to give away yet - should I give them to important people like Zixuan, or to ordinary people, like... whoever?" Jin Guangyao is nothing if not adept at managing public opinion.

> Their relationship is odd, at this point, because neither of them is even slightly right about what the other thinks it is.
> 
> Jin Guangyao thinks Wei Wuxian hates and detests him, and appreciates that Wei Wuxian nonetheless respects his competence enough to ask his advice.
> 
> Wei Wuxian thinks they're basically acquaintances.

Jin Guangyao smiles. "An interesting question. I would suggest something of a mix. Perhaps bestow them upon those to whom you have some sort of personal connection, or upon those individuals it would be... beneficial to have very slightly in your debt. Depending on the nature of the device, for example, you could give examples to your friends, but also to those of lesser standing where it would be most remarkable. Is the item at all dangerous?"

"No, not even a little bit." Wei Wuxian is, in this instance, wholly confident. "It's this." He pulls one of his Evil Compasses from his sleeve. "It's a compass, but it points towards evil spirits and things. Useful, but harmless unless someone follows it while being too unwary."

"I see." Jin Guangyao smiles the knowing smile that Wei Wuxian still has to force himself not to react to, the one he thinks of as his Scheming Smile. "Clan Leader Ouyang's wife has just had a son. Perhaps it would be a suitable gift for the child."

Wei Wuxian blinks. "Ouyang Zizhen?" he says before he can think better of it. Jin Guangyao nods.

"Yes, Clan Leader Ouyang's son Ouyang Zizhen. I'm surprised you've heard. It would be unexpected, but not inappropriate, to offer him a gift for him on such an occasion."

"I will do that. Thank you, Jin Guangyao."

> He will totally start intentionally building a relationship with the Ouyang, specifically so Zizhen and Sizhui can know each other and maybe be friends, and Clan Leader Ouyang's going to be very confused and very, very happy, because this could be very good for his sect, politically.

Jin Guangyao inclines his head.

It is still strange, so very strange, to speak to Jin Guangyao as if he is an ally, but he has begun to suspect that Jin Guangyao _is_ an ally - the hint of poison in him doesn't seem to be there, this time, and Wei Wuxian had never had difficulty seeing it, even if others did.

He wonders if it's to do with the connection he has to resentful energy - if poisonous thoughts leave their mark even on the living. He wonders if there's a way to test the theory.

"Speaking of special occasions," shijie says, "A-Xian, Wangji, we haven't had a chance to tell you. The Jin Sect will be hosting weddings quite soon."

Wei Wuxian feels very, very conflicted. "Weddings, plural?"

> THIS WILL PROBABLY INCLUDE SHIJIE AND THAT'S BAD

"Yes!" Zixuan beams. "Yanli and I will marry at the end of winter. And A-Yao will marry in two months!"

"Congratulations," Lan Zhan says gravely.

> Helpfully answering on behalf of them both as a couple, so Wei Wuxian will have time to marshal his thoughts before his answer is WHAT THE FUCK HOW DARE

"Thank you," Jin Guangyao says, blushing faintly. "I am... very pleased. We thought it best not to conflict with Jiang Wanyin's wedding next month, as my brother, naturally, will be expected in attendance at both." He bows to Wei Wuxian. "My fiancee has asked me to request that Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun will be kind enough to come, as well."

Wei Wuxian blinks. "Of course. We are honoured to attend the wedding of Jin Guangyao." He appreciates that Jin Guangyao has, to all evidence, worked very hard for Zixuan and shijie, and even if he didn't, he is wary of snubbing Jin Guangyao at all. "But who is your fiancee?"

Jin Guangyao's smile this time is a small, shy thing, less polished and perfect than usual. "Mo Fan. The Second Young Lady Mo," he says, his voice sweet with joy.

> His marriage to Qin Su was multiple kinds of tragic. This one doesn't have to be.
> 
> They've been courting very delicately for a couple of years now. Jin Guangyao was regularly having tea with Madam Jin to seek her guidance in his new role in Jinlintai's administration, and so was Mo Fan, because Madam Jin has taken the child under her wing. Sometimes they both saw her at the same time, which became _regularly_ doing so, and of course Mo Fan would often bring her child, and Jin Guangyao had every reason to speak to her about his baby brother, and things just... proceeded, and it has all been COMPLETELY respectable and above-board, obviously _nothing_ untoward could have happened, they have always seen each other in the company of Madam Jin.

"A-Yao will adopt her son," Zixuan says proudly. "It's slightly irregular, perhaps, but he's so little he really is more like a nephew than another brother. To me, at least." He grins at Jin Guangyao. "A-Yao has become quite paternal. It's very charming."

> congratulations on ur dad xuanyu

Wei Wuxian smiles. Jin Guangyao's real joy is quite touching, and Wei Wuxian is very, very relieved to know that the young lady in question is one they can all be confident is not, in fact, Jin Guangyao's sister. It's really such an improvement.

\---

Wei Wuxian is surprised when Jin Guangyao personally escorts his small family to their guest chambers at Jinlintai.

"Da-ge has instructed that these rooms be kept for you permanently and exclusively," Jin Guangyao says. "He wishes it to be clear that you are always welcome at Jinlintai." He bows deeply. "Wei Wuxian, may this one have the honour of speaking to you alone at your convenience?"

Wei Wuxian nods. "Lan Zhan, are you all right to settle A-Yuan?"

"Mn."

"Then now works." Wei Wuxian suppresses a sigh, because it's time for A-Yuan's afternoon nap, and he was about to have some... quiet time... with Lan Zhan before the banquet, and he feels like he's been waiting for _hours_ , and -

> One of the ongoing differences in this timeline for Wei Wuxian is just how much of the first twenty years after getting together with Lan Zhan he spends _not having sex_ because unmarried teenagers, war, depression, parenthood and family obligations, it's _terrible_.

He walks with Jin Guangyao to one of the secluded gardens of Jinlintai.

Jin Guangyao hesitates.

"Whatever it is, just say it," Wei Wuxian says.

"As you now know, I am to marry," he says. "My mother will stand with me, and my brother insists that he will take the place of our father."

> I'm not sure I have anything much to say about this scene that isn't in it, except to note that this was probably the most-rewritten scene of them all, on about version SIX it got close to this form, and in the process of it I ended up setting up the best joke in the whole fucking thing and I didn't even realise it.

That's nice, Wei Wuxian thinks. It's a very good thing for Jin Guangyao to feel... respected.

He's not sure what it has to do with him, but Jin Guangyao is continuing.

"My fiancee has become quite... estranged from her family," he says. "She and Madam Jin have become close, and Madam Jin will take the place of her mother at the wedding. However." His ingratiating smile is gone, for once, and he looks earnestly imploring. "She would also wish to have a man to stand in place of her father, and she... if Wei Wuxian is willing, we would be honoured if it could be you. You were the one who found her and A-Yu, and brought them to Jinlintai."

Wei Wuxian blinks. This is not what he expected. He never met Mo Fan in his second life, but he knows that she loved Mo Xuanyu very much, that she did her best for him; when he has seen her in this one, she has seemed like a very sweet girl, a little overwhelmed by... life, really.

Jin Guangyao misreads his hesitation to reply, and drops to his knees. "I know that it must seem a terrible imposition, to stand at the marriage of the son of -"

"Stop!" Wei Wuxian does _not_ want to hear him finish that sentence. "That's not - I'm just surprised, Jin Guangyao, that's all." He grabs his hand and tugs him back up. "You really need to stop taking the circumstances of your birth so seriously! You have a mother who loves you, and - well, okay, your father was a terrible person, but no-one holds that against Zixuan or Qin Su or Mo Xuanyu. Don't listen to the people who say backbiting things. Do they stand where you do? Do they have your gifts, your talents? Do the leaders of all five elite Sects listen to _their_ counsel as they do to yours?"

Jin Guangyao looks to be slightly in shock. "Wei-gongzi, don't - don't you hate me?"

Wei Wuxian stares. He _doesn't_ , is the thing. He'd been angry with Jin Guangyao in his second life, and had not mourned his death for even a moment, but he of all people is in no position to judge someone for becoming so twisted by events that they end up hurting people. "Why would I? Have you done something I should hate you for?"

"No, of course not, but - I seem to make you angrier than anyone else, and you seem like you don't trust me. I thought - perhaps I have not been grateful enough for the kindness you have shown me, when I know it was you who had me brought here to meet my brother, and -"

"No, no, no," Wei Wuxian stops him again. "No, I don't hate you, and you don't owe me _gratitude_ for introducing you to your own _brother_ , that's - no." He sighs. "Last time we were at Jinlintai, I was... unwell. You may remember I was angry with everyone. I apologise for all of my hostility, and that it seemed I had more for you than anyone else." He bows. "I would be honoured to stand with Mo Fan at your wedding."

Jin Guangyao's real smile, hesitantly pleased, is actually quite nice.

\---

When he gets back to their rooms, Lan Zhan is just emerging from A-Yuan's bedroom. Wei Wuxian puts Suibian down gently, lest a crashing sound wake their son, and begins taking off his clothes. Lan Zhan's eyes widen.

"Wei Ying..."

"We have some time before the banquet," Wei Wuxian says quietly. All of his outer robes hit the floor together as he walks slowly towards his husband. "I want this. I need this. I need you. I have been very good and very patient all day, and you have been very good and patient for a lot longer than that, and now we have time." He toes his boots off as he reaches Lan Zhan and pushes gently at his chest.

Lan Zhan, unresisting, backs into their bedroom. Wei Wuxian kicks the door closed as he pulls off his inner robe and winds his arms around Lan Zhan's neck, presses close. "I need Lan Zhan," he breathes, their lips almost touching. "I need you to kiss me, touch me. I need to feel you close." He nips at Lan Zhan's lip. "I need you inside me, Lan Zhan. Right now." He tugs lightly at Lan Zhan's forehead ribbon, pulling it loose and free, and drapes it around his own neck. "Please," he whispers.

"Wei _Ying_ ," Lan Zhan says.

They're slightly late to the banquet.

> Lan Zhan has been a very good boy for many months, now, resisting every suggestion that they should have sex that Wei Ying doesn't really want but thinks they _should_ have. He has been definite about it.
> 
> When Wei Ying wants, really wants, and not before.
> 
> Wei Ying _really wants_?
> 
> yeah
> 
> that's happening, and it's happening _thoroughly_


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter includes a rant about That Thing That Happened that resulted in all the comment moderation, etc.
> 
> I have been hesitating for a while about whether or not to skip this chapter entirely, but here we are.
> 
> Feel free to skip the end section, the entire chapter, the commentary edition as a whole or the _entire series_.
> 
> If you wish to actually discuss it?
> 
> If you're someone who's been commenting regularly, who has _actually fucking read_ the story?
> 
> Absolutely. I'm listening.
> 
> If you're some random who hasn't read the story and is just looking to show your ass?
> 
> Your comment will be deleted and then I will never think about you again.

At the banquet, Jiang Fengmian announces the flags at the outset, before anyone gets too drunk to follow his explanation. The assembled cultivators seem broadly impressed; Wei Wuxian sees Su She in a back corner looking oddly sullen, but figures it's perfectly possible that Su She simply failed to catch any prey.

> Or he's a bitch
> 
> OR BOTH
> 
> also he is weirdly obsessed with Lan Wangji and, like
> 
> Wedding, Sunshot Campaign, chilling in the cottage... Phoenix Mountain is the first time in this timeline it has been really, really obvious to the world at large that _they are married and have a son_

Wei Wuxian introduces the concept of the Evil Compass, and presents examples to Zixuan, as their host, and to Clan Leader Ouyang as a gift for his infant son.

> Clan Leader Ouyang quietly loses his fucking mind at being singled out by the Most Favoured Disciple Of The Chief Cultivator

There are toasts to the Jin, to the successful, to the unsuccessful, to Jiang Fengmian as Chief Cultivator, and surprisingly to Wei Wuxian for his innovations. Wei Wuxian drinks; no-one pretends to be insulted when the Lan do not.

> _such_ a dick move, Jin Zixun, and quite possibly the moment Jin Guangyao decided you had to die, in canon

Wei Wuxian is almost enjoying himself, but he supposes that it helps to have already been feeling quite relaxed when they arrived.

\---

When they return to their chambers afterwards, Wei Wuxian takes the time to look around and consider them properly.

Zixuan has not been ungenerous. The two bedrooms are of modest size, but well-appointed. The main room is spacious, with plenty of seating, and the kitchen is small, but also well-furnished. There are chests and cabinets for storage, and an attached private bathing area.

> Zixuan is TAKING CARE of his BETROTHED'S BROTHER
> 
> Her family, tbh, there's rooms for Jiang Cheng and her parents too, because they're the Jin, being extra is what they do

In his first life, at this age, he had lost his golden core, he fought Lan Zhan as often as he saw him, and Lotus Pier was still badly damaged, the Jiang Sect barely beginning to be rebuilt. When he was near there, Wei Wuxian tended to avoid it, unable to look at the damage, and would drink and stay in the town at Lotus Cove. In a few weeks, he would have gone to Qiongqi Path and set himself against the world. He would have had to live in an unpleasant cave that reeked of blood, and farmed turnips and radishes in the poor soil they had.

His core is strong. A-Yuan is here, and Lan Zhan is getting him ready for bed right now. Lotus Pier is unharmed.

The Yiling Burial Mounds are still wholly untamed, without even the improvements he made when he was first thrown into them, still a nightmare for the people of the surrounding area.

He rubs his nose.

He'll think about that tomorrow.

Right now his son is in his night-clothes and ready to be tucked in.

He goes into the bedroom. A-Yuan is sitting up in bed, Lan Zhan crouching next to him.

"Daddy!" A-Yuan says, beaming.

"What's happening here?" he asks, mock-confused. "Why is A-Yuan still in bed? It's time for breakfast!"

"Daddy, _no_ ," A-Yuan says sternly. "A-Yuan sleep."

"You can't sleep! It's time to get up! Breakfast!"

A-Yuan puts his little fists on his hips and frowns seriously. "No, Daddy. Not breakfast. _Sleep time._ "

"A-Yuan is correct," Lan Zhan says. "Daddy is being very silly. It is time for rest."

A-Yuan looks adorably smug at this victory. "Father and Daddy sing?"

"Of course," says Lan Zhan, and unhesitatingly begins singing a lullaby. Wei Wuxian sings the harmony, and A-Yuan lies back and closes his eyes. Lan Zhan tucks the blankets around him securely.

> Good Dads moment.

When the song is finished, they whisper their goodnights and slip out of the room.

\---

A few days later, he's standing in Yiling with Lan Zhan, A-Yuan left safe at Lotus Pier.

"This place is... ominous," Lan Zhan says.

Wei Wuxian nods. "I lived here as a child... before," he says. "Fighting feral dogs for scraps of rubbish to eat until Uncle Jiang found me."

> casually _fucking tragic_

"Wei Ying..."

He doesn't look around. He doesn't want to see the expression that goes with that kind of aching voice. "This time my parents left me at Lotus Pier, before they went on the hunt that killed them." He sighs. "I tried to get them to stay, but they just decided they would leave me with people instead of alone."

"It is good that they did," Lan Zhan says. "Wei Ying should not be alone."

"I won't be. I have you." He squeezes his hand.

"Yes. Always." Wei Wuxian feels Lan Zhan kiss his hair. "Are you sure about this?"

"Very sure. Yiling is in Lotus Pier's area of responsibility, and we've been ignoring it too long because it's such a big problem and the people here are too poor to afford to pay for as much work as it's going to take, but how is that an excuse? With this kind of shadow over the whole area, they'll stay poor if no-one does something about it."

He knows he's right. Even here, not at the Burial Mounds themselves, the soil is poor and the air carries a whiff of rot. Everything seems faintly unpleasant, almost tainted; they've walked from the edge of town to the least-bad inn, and Wei Wuxian feels like he needs to bathe. There's only one exception to the general sense of filth that pervades the place, and it's Lan Zhan.

Who doesn't count, because Lan Zhan always seems somehow pristine. Bichen is well-suited to its master. Wei Wuxian should know. He has tried very hard to dishevel and debauch Lan Zhan in a wide range of ways, and it _does not work_. Lan Zhan somehow looks noble and pure even lying in bed all sweaty and - he needs not to think about this right now.

> hasn't worked in two lifetimes but he's gonna keep trying

They book their room, and eat a light meal that has a faintly gritty texture, and set out for the Burial Mounds.

He's not actually sure what the best approach will be. When he came here with the Wen remnants, the place had already had the benefit of the first three months he spent there. He has a golden core, and a better sense of what he'd need to do to bring the place under control, and he already has his new, more powerful Stygian Tiger Seal.

But those first three months in the Burial Mounds were truly very awful.

He skirts a path around the edges of the area, Lan Zhan following him closely, and sighs.

Trying to quell the dark clouds of resentful energy from the edges seems like it would be rather akin to trying to empty a river with a spoon.

"Lan Zhan," he says, "I think you should stay behind while I do this."

Oh, he has not missed _that_ look on Lan Zhan's face. That's his _I am clearly in love with an idiot, because only an idiot would say that_ face.

> Famous for: "Oh, you like MianMian!"

"I mean it," Wei Wuxian says. "I think I'm going to have to go straight to the heart of the mountain, or it won't even make a dent. Far too many people have tried to work on this from the edges without success for that to be possible."

"Then we will go to the heart of the mountain," Lan Zhan says.

> _we_ , dumbass

\---

He prepares carefully, and plans with precision.

There's no point trying to do this all at once. Even if he has more knowledge and better tools now, it took a long time before, and quite a bit of the area was still uninhabitable. There's no specific urgency, this time. He just wants to be sure he's made progress.

Lan Zhan is adamant that he's not staying behind.

Wei Wuxian gives strong consideration to spiking Lan Zhan's drink and heading out before he wakes up, but he doesn't want to risk it; there's no telling what a drunk Lan Zhan would do, given he would _definitely_ panic.

> hahaha that would be such a bad idea

So instead, they both dress in robes marked with shijie's protective wards. Wei Wuxian has many talismans ready to go, stored in Qiankun sleeves.

He's confident he can do this.

He's only less sure of the cost, but he's clinging to the recollection of Zewu-Jun's confidence that spiritual damage is recoverable.

> Zewu-Jun isn't actually wholly correct, but hey, Wen Qing exists, it'll be fine.

Lan Zhan flies them both on Bichen, coming in from high above to the plateau where the cave entrance is situated, where he'd once helped to build houses and tilled terrible soil to grow food.

Wei Wuxian puts Baohu to his lips, and begins to play. The overwhelming mass of resentful energy is reaching for them, tendrils of hatred straining into the sky, and he calls the Stygian Tiger Seal too, lets the halves snap together to spin above his shoulder. The Stygian Tiger Seal can draw the energy, channel it, direct it, but it can't destroy it outright; he lets the energy whirl around them, because his ideas for what to do about this are going to require time and a steadier footing.

They land in the eye of a tornado of dark energy.

Lan Zhan follows closely as Wei Wuxian walks slowly towards the cave. He can't see it, but he knows it's there, he knows this place too well not to find it.

> The palace isn't in the book version, I checked.

The cave entrance starts to peek through the swirling wall of darkness, and he changes his melody, directs all of the power to flow behind them.

The cave is still clear. It's bare rock, inside, he knows - no bodies were buried there, and he hasn't been here, now, to start using it for refining corpses or awakening Wen Ning.

Once they're both inside, he stops playing, throws talismans from his sleeve down, and then quickly cuts his fingers and makes an array on the stone floor.

They won't be safe for long, but it's a start.

\---

He really misses Wen Ning.

Wen Ning is, of course, alive and well, but that's sort of the problem; he's alive, and well, and courting his likely wife-to-be, so he's not here being an unstoppable ferocious corpse. (Also, he doesn't remember their years of friendship, and Wei Wuxian misses that part a lot. With his other loved ones, he has made new memories to share, and he barely notices the difference; he has had almost no time to spend with Wen Ning.)

> I love how many people are genuinely anxious about Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning.
> 
> They do get their time together eventually. They spend time in Qishan regularly so Sizhui can have a better connection to his Wen roots, and that means Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning get to hang out.

The potential horde of ferocious corpses here will be his objective later. For now, it's time to deal with the mass of resentful energy.

His memory of how he did it last time is... hazy.

"Lan Zhan," he says, "stay behind me."

Carefully, wincing slightly at the biting chill in the air, he pulls off the warded outer and inner robes to stand bare-chested in his trousers and boots. Shijie's array on his chest is glowing in reaction even with the wards at the cave entrance.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, "I do not think you should be removing the wards."

"I have to," Wei Wuxian says. He drapes his robes over Lan Zhan's shoulders. They might provide additional protection. It's worth a try.

He holds out his hand, lets the Stygian Tiger Seal float over his palm, and then catches it in a firm grip.

It burns his fingers even as he feels like it's freezing his arm to the elbow. The Stygian Tiger Seal, even in this form, isn't really meant to be touched.

> And it is this bit that means this commentary chapter won't be posted until after _Be Not Gone_ , because that way I can talk about a thing:
> 
> One of the things I love about this series, that I'm really proud of, is the subtle continuities it features, and this is one of them.
> 
> I think the flying Stygian Tiger Seal is a thing I took from CQL, but I loved it, and it leads to a very subtle thing that I think people either haven't noticed or are too polite to call me out on.

He holds it anyway.

> The Stygian Tiger Seal burns/freezes to the touch... for Wei Wuxian.
> 
> But not for Lan Zhan.
> 
> Later, during Jin Zixun Incident, Lan Zhan calls it away from Jin Zixun and it comes to rest _in his hand_ , and Lan Zhan shows no harm. It bounces against his arm when Wei Wuxian is losing his mind over Xue Yan during his recovery, and doesn't hurt him then either.
> 
> Lan Zhan can touch the Stygian Tiger Seal without harm.
> 
> Why is that...?
> 
> ... See _Be Not Gone_.

And then he steps forward, and breaks the array.

The Stygian Tiger Seal can draw the energy, channel it, and direct it, but it can't destroy it outright.

What it _can_ do is absorb it. Store it. Contain it.

He still doesn't know the origins of the sword that had bathed in the resentment of thousands of victims of the Xuanwu of Slaughter. He doesn't know what cultivator wielded it; he thinks they must have been strong, to have so powerful a spiritual weapon, even if they weren't quite strong enough to survive.

The metal of it knows how to hate, how to hoard the darkness to itself. The first Stygian Tiger Seal he made was forged here, in this place, was shaped with this fury.

This one was crafted in a workshop, forged and shaped and inlaid with love and protection and devotion. They both have something of the nature of the beast they are made to resemble; the first was a wild thing, trapped and resentful of captivity. This one is akin to a tiger captured as a cub and raised as a well-loved pet, but a tiger cannot truly be tamed, and now it is snarling and biting at his soul.

> I like this bit.

It hurts less, this time.

It still hurts.

The storm flows into him and through him. He thinks he might be screaming, but he's not sure. He's caught in the shuddering nightmare of it, and it won't stop, he can't _make_ it stop, it's been hours or maybe it's been weeks and he can't -

"Stop," he hears, and the storm winks out like a candle being snuffed.

Lan Zhan is peeling his fingers away from the Stygian Tiger Seal. It drops away, floats tamely into its pouch, two halves separating of their own accord, and Wei Wuxian realises that he's shaking, that it's dark, and that his hand is covered in blood, that blood has run down to his elbow, is dripping to the ground below him.

"That is enough," Lan Zhan says gently. "You cannot afford more energy for the protective array, and I cannot give you more and still fly us back to Yiling."

He redresses Wei Wuxian tenderly, and then sets Bichen on the ground, pulls Wei Wuxian into his arms, takes them both into the air.

The density of resentful energy is lessened.

This is progress.

He leans back into Lan Zhan's arms and closes his eyes. He doesn't remember the journey to Yiling.

\---

They return to Lotus Pier the next day, and take a few days for recovery before the next trip to Yiling.

Lotus Pier is buzzing with activity. Jiang Fengmian's responsibilities as Chief Cultivator have been steadily mounting; the disputes and disagreements that no-one would have dared to take to Wen Ruohan (not least because his "judgement" would have likely gone badly for both sides) are now being brought to him.

> srsly one eternal headache

As a result, many of the duties of the Jiang Sect Leader are gradually becoming Jiang Cheng's, even as preparations are also underway for his wedding. (Not that he's very involved with those; when shijie offered to help, he handed off pretty much every part of it outside of "actually marrying Wen Qing" to her with every sign of utter relief.)

> Jiang Yanli: I get to be fussing over my baby brother and also it's a warmup for my wedding
> 
> Jiang Cheng: IT'S PEOPLE AND IT'S HASSLE AND I HAVE SHIT TO DO THANK YOU

Wen Qing is dividing her time between Lotus Pier and Qishan, and she and Madam Yu seem already to have become friends. The discipline and skill of the Jiang Sect could soon be the envy of the cultivation world, as any cultivator or disciple who is perceived to be lazy in their training faces the ire of Madam Yu, and anyone who becomes injured through carelessness or inattention is guaranteed to experience that of Wen Qing.

> The Jiang Sect are not unreasonable, they get time to rest and relax and have fun.
> 
> But holy shit you will be responsible because if you get hurt doing something dumb you will HEAR ABOUT IT.
> 
> Got hurt in an honest accident, or in the course of doing something necessary? Wen Qing is sympathetic and gentle and takes care to minimise your pain.
> 
> Otherwise...

Wei Wuxian knows from experience that her tongue can be sharper than her needles, and her needles are _very very sharp_ ; all he can tell his shidis is to train hard and take care when they night-hunt.

Apparently not all of them listen. After fifth shidi receives his spiritual sword, he crashes it into a rooftop showing off for the younger disciples.

Wei Wuxian is the one who brings him back - he was genuinely _not_ encouraging or approving of fifth shidi's actions, and had in fact gone running out to tell him not to be so stupid _just too late_ , and he is simultaneously appalled at fifth shidi, at himself for being too late, and also at himself for apparently being a responsible adult again already.

> for a Wei Wuxian definition of "responsible adult", in which he's like: "I will only permit you to fuck around in ways that are, you know, safe"

He delivers him to Wen Qing's office. The commotion has drawn Madam Yu's attention, and she is frowning sharply.

Wen Qing sets fifth shidi's broken bones without missing a single beat in the scathing lecture she delivers throughout. Wei Wuxian thinks he sees a tear in Madam Yu's eye, and leaves fifth shidi to his fate to go to her.

"I'm sure fifth shidi will recover fully," he reassures Madam Yu.

> Wei Ying: Aww, Madam Yu is concerned about this child of her sect

"Of course he will," Madam Yu says. "I'm just..." She wipes her eyes, and tugs him outside. "She's so perfect. She's exactly the daughter I always wanted." She presses a hand to her heart. "If A-Cheng fucks this up I will actually kill him."

> Madam Yu: I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SON IS GOING TO MARRY THE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW OF MY DREAMS

Smiling, she walks away.

Wei Wuxian stares, and goes to find Lan Zhan.

> wtffff I need my husband

His husband has, it seems, collected every disciple who had been watching or encouraging fifth shidi's display, and has them doing handstands one-handed while they write essays on responsible behaviour under his disapproving eye.

(The senior authorities of Lotus Pier have very different approaches to discipline. Madam Yu is sharp, Wen Qing is scathing, Uncle Jiang offers correction with gentle reproof, Jiang Cheng shouts angrily, shijie is grieved by her disappointment, and Lan Zhan is stern. Wei Wuxian will unrepentantly deliver the guilty to the person whose approach he thinks will be most suited to the crime and the criminal; somehow this has resulted in the juniors developing a shared conviction that the threat of Wei Wuxian disciplining them _personally_ is the most terrifying danger of all. He uses it sparingly.)

> make laziness work FOR YOU

Wei Wuxian walks straight at him until he thuds into his side and presses his face into Lan Zhan's shoulder. "Thank you," he mumbles.

"For?" Lan Zhan's wraps an arm around him, apparently by reflex; his attention is still mostly on the disciples.

"Being you. If it hadn't been for you, I might have ended up marrying a woman, and I can't, Lan Zhan, they're confusing and they scare me and I don't want to." He whimpers plaintively. "Don't let me have to marry a woman, Lan Zhan. Please."

> in which wwx, disaster bisexual, realises he dodged just _such_ a bullet. Women are great, but the only woman he knows to whom he could be non-catastrophically married is his shijie, which in theory makes them a suitable pairing, and in practice is EW GROSS THAT'S MY SISTER

"Will not," Lan Zhan says firmly. "Wei Ying is mine."

> Lan Zhan, disaster gay: I love you, I want you married to me and also I would hate to see you suffer through heterosexual marriage, which I assume is a terrible burden to the men who endure it

Wei Wuxian smiles, as he feels a warm weight wrap around his shin. "Hello, A-Yuan," he says, and straightens, turning to the disciples. "Just so you all know, fifth shidi will be fine."

"Does that mean we don't have to finish doing this?" sixth shidi asks hopefully.

"If Lan-qianbei says you can stop, you can stop," Wei Wuxian answers sweetly.

"Continue," Lan Zhan says.

> why would it mean that, sixth shidi, the thing you're being punished for wasn't fifth shidi's injury, it was for being irresponsible and encouraging/not stopping his irresponsibility

> Lan Zhan takes an experienced cultivator's view of injury, which appears to be: "eh, no big, it'll heal"

\---

They manage two more trips to Yiling before it's time for Jiang Cheng's wedding.

Zixuan's envy is poorly disguised as he looks around the brightly-decorated courtyards of Lotus Pier, and Wei Wuxian tells him so.

> Zixuan: I WANT TO GET MARRIIIIEEEED

Zixuan flushes. "It's not my fault my wedding has to be so..."

"Ridiculous?" Wei Wuxian offers.

Zixuan grimaces. "Yeah."

With Jiang Cheng being his sect's heir, and no war currently brewing, Lotus Pier is still crowded with sect and clan leaders, all eager to be seen at the wedding of the son of the Chief Cultivator, many of them vying to outdo each other with the generosity of their gifts.

Jiang Cheng is scowling with embarrassment over it all. Wen Qing's composure shows not so much as a flicker.

> It's a while yet before Wen Qing begins to lose her grip on her absolute control of her expression and reactions.

Wen Ning is beaming, entirely oblivious to the other guests who variously aim sly barbs in his direction or carefully-crafted compliments intended to make a start at currying favour with the Wen in their reduced state in the hopes of greater profits when their status is regained. He clearly has no concern for anything that isn't the wondrous joy of this, his beloved sister's wedding day.

> His sister (who is the best doctor in the world) is getting MARRIED to a man she has said is ACCEPTABLE this is the BEST DAY he is DELIGHTED

To Wei Wuxian's delighted amusement, Lan Zhan has been drafted into the bridal party. Wen Qing has no living close female relatives, nor, it seems, many friends. MianMian and Qin Su arrived with Jin Zixuan, but somehow, it seems, they all decided that Lan Zhan would also be necessary.

"Is it because he's so pretty?" Wei Wuxian had asked. "Aren't I pretty enough?"

"Not as pretty as Hanguang-Jun," MianMian had answered, which he can't really argue with, "and _you_ are Jiang Wanyin's brother, so of course you have to be with him."

"You know Lan Zhan and I are both married, don't you?" Not that he can pretend that he's ever been particularly traditionally minded, but he's a little surprised nonetheless.

Wen Qing had smirked. "We decided that Jiang Cheng can still have you, because you're not married to a woman, and also because he really wants you there. And if he can have you, than I can have Hanguang-Jun. He's married to _you_ , anyway. It hardly counts."

MianMian and Qin Su had giggled. Wei Wuxian had fled.

And now he's helping Jiang Cheng get dressed, and he suddenly understands the ordeal that Zixuan and Nie Huaisang put him through at his own wedding as he finds himself frowning at the precise hang of Jiang Cheng's sash, making tiny adjustments to the set of his robes, because he cannot live with the idea that Jiang Cheng will look less than perfect today. Even shijie is laughing at him.

Jiang Cheng's temper runs out sooner than Wei Wuxian's did, and he finally snaps and smacks Wei Wuxian's hands away. "Stop it! Stop it! Wen Qing isn't going to cancel the wedding because I'm not completely and utterly perfectly dressed." He scowls, and goes to flick his hair back, but Yinzhu catches his wrist and glares sharply.

"Do _not_ ruin your hair," Jinzhu hisses.

"A-Cheng looks very beautiful," shijie says. "I'm sure this will be fine."

Jiang Cheng really needs to work on his temper, Wei Wuxian thinks. He's just so tetchy sometimes.

> Jiang Cheng is not actually as tetchy as Wei Wuxian thinks he is
> 
> he's just always that tetchy _around Wei Wuxian_

\---

The wedding itself goes off without a hitch.

Lan Zhan attends Wen Qing very seriously, although when someone needs to drink for her, it's mostly MianMian who does so, occasionally Qin Su, and never, ever Lan Zhan.

Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing bow three times.

Wei Wuxian cries without shame.

He loves them both, and now he can believe that Jiang Cheng won't be facing the future alone, and Wen Qing will be safe, her fate guarded by the entire Jiang Sect.

(He's not really surprised that she's keeping her name; it's a political statement, even more than her casual defiance of all custom and tradition to have Lan Zhan attending her, and the son of Madam Yu, in the house of Madam Yu, would never have registered even the slightest objection.)

> This was the original form of this line, which kicked off a minor shitstorm that then became a worse one when I put an author's note on the next chapter that called MDZS a work of fiction, and said that I couldn't achieve perfection in cultural nuance, and somehow that got a lot of people _super offended._ (Just today I encountered - I didn't want to, but I did - a twitter thread in which some idiot with poor reading comprehension was recounting how I declared my intention to whitewash the canon, which is precisely the opposite of what I actually said.)
> 
> All if which started because a whole lot of people were extremely intent on telling me about how Chinese women don't change their names. At the time I was already rather tired of people complaining (in extremely ahistorical ways) about historical marriage ages, and I didn't want to argue about it, especially with fifty people at once.
> 
> Now, however, I'm going to address it. 
> 
> There are, canonically, _multiple_ canon characters whose other names we _don't know_ because they are only ever referred to by their husbands' names.
> 
> Meanwhile, allow me to quote the ExiledRebels translation on the subject of Madam Yu:
> 
> _Naturally, she should be called Madam Jiang. But, for some reason, everyone had always called her Madam Yu. Some people guessed that it was because she didn’t want to **take on her husband’s surname** due to her assertive personality. _ (Emphasis added.) 
> 
> So. She didn't want to _take on her husband's surname_ , and we don't even know the actual names of Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan's mothers because we _only ever see them mentioned **by their husbands' names.**_
> 
> A lot of people accused me of trying to tell Chinese people about their own culture, which I was definitely not doing. I am not native to Chinese culture, nor expert on it, and I actually didn't say anything about Chinese culture at all.
> 
> However, I am a native speaker of English, and somewhat expert on it, and I am now taking the opportunity to tell you what the word _name_ means: it means _a word or phrase that is the distinctive designation of a person or thing._ (Merriam-Webster.) Or, if you like, _a word or set of words by which a person or thing is known, addressed, or referred to_. (dictionary.com.)
> 
> If a character is designated and distinguished and known, addressed, and referred to as "Wife of [Husband]", then - in an English-language work or translation - _that's her name_. It may not be her only name, but it's still _her name_ , and if she can make multiple appearances in a narrative without being identified by any _other_ name, it is her _primary_ name, even if it's not her "official" name.
> 
> Other complaints I got for this section:
> 
> "It's a title, not a name! it means wife of!"
> 
> I'm not sure whether this argument is based on not understanding what a name is, or what a title is. I understand that -furen is absolutely a title, but is attached to a name and becomes part of a name in function _in English_ , because people address characters as [name]-furen. ("Mrs" is also a title, which also indicates _wife of_ , but _Mrs Jones_ would be _a name_.) A couple of people compared it to "Duchess of Cambridge" for some reason, despite the fact that doing so completely undercuts their argument, because you do not, under any circumstances, address a duchess as "Duchess of [Location]". The correct form of address for the Duchess of Cambridge is _your Royal Highness_ if you're being super-formal, which the Royal Family do not actually tend to encourage, so it's _ma'am_. For a non-royal duchess, the correct form of address would be _your Grace_.
> 
> However, in the third person, _Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge_ is, in fact, her name. Her name is, actually and genuinely, _Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge_. Formerly Kate Middleton, but _she changed her name when she married_. "The Duchess of Cambridge" is a title, but attached to Catherine, it becomes part of _her name_. That's how _English_ works.
> 
> My best guess is that people think her name is still Kate Middleton because the tabloids use it. All I can say is that it's a really bad idea to derive your understanding of... literally anything... from the tabloids. (US media might do it too. It's an equally bad idea to derive your understanding of how royalty works from Americans.) 
> 
> "Sure, Madam Yu is canon, but Wen Qing wouldn't do that in a loving marriage"
> 
> Her marriage to Jiang Cheng, at this time, isn't loving or expected to be. It's an arranged political marriage and she can't see the future, she doesn't know she's going to fall in love with him.
> 
> "Jiang-furen" - with reference to Yu Ziyuan
> 
> Go hide somewhere before she hits you with Zidian and stop bothering me.
> 
> "Jiang Cheng saw his parents' terrible marriage and wouldn't be okay with that"
> 
> Jiang Cheng's parents' marriage isn't as bad in this timeline, but also, _Jiang Cheng loves his mother_. In the book, he smiles when he sees her. Not only is he not going to tell Wen Qing what to do, he's also not going to tell his mother _I think it would be beneath me to have my wife do things that **you did**_. To the best of my understanding, that would be an unfilial act which would rightfully infuriate his mother.
> 
> As I hope this work, as whole, makes clear, I tried very hard to be respectful of Chinese culture in writing this, and I did a lot of research to get as close as I could to doing it right.
> 
> But in _my_ cultural background, words have meanings, and it's something worse than a sin to pretend that they don't. This isn't a sarcastic joke or anything, this is _I might just as well spit on my grandmother's grave as knowingly misuse a word_. My family is accustomed to operating in multiple languages and multiple cultures, and _accuracy is important_. (The degree of precision with which my family uses language in written communication is, to outsiders who have seen it, actively creepy.)
> 
> Every argument people put forward about this seems to rest on the assertion that a person can be exclusively addressed and referred to by something that somehow _isn't a name_. Or that someone can't have _more than one_ name, which is kind of ironic when working with a canon where half the characters have three.
> 
> I have edited out every reference to a woman's name changing upon marriage at every point in the series, because I am in fact trying to be respectful here, and clearly there's some people who, for some reason, are deeply invested in that not being a thing, despite the narrative of MDZS comprehensively disagreeing with them, given that most of the women in it _do_ take on their husbands' surnames when they marry, and it's specifically pointed out when one of them bucks tradition and _doesn't_. (That is quite literally spelled out in the translated version of the book, and I have heard no suggestion that it's not in the original work.)
> 
> But this is the author commentary edition, where, even more than in the main story, if you have a problem with things it contains, you should address that problem to the person forcing you to read it, and I copped an insane amount of personal abuse and insults for that line, and I am, just a little bit, _still annoyed about that_ , because I can't speak as to Chinese women _generally_ , but in _the MDZS universe specifically,_ with the exception of Yu Ziyuan, women change their names when they marry, and you can tell, because the _words by which they are designated, identified, referred to and addressed_ are _different_ , and **that's what a name is.**
> 
> If you still disagree, tell me what Jin Zixuan's mother's name is. Canonically. She appears in the story several times, as a named character.
> 
> Or just call this a culture clash and move on with your life. Because people insisting that words don't mean what they mean offends _me_.
> 
> We will skip lightly past the remarkable amounts of anti-Blackness some people managed to bring into their critiques, at this time, but _holy shit_ did some trolls find some amazingly racist ways to attack me. It probably goes without saying that if your complaint is straight-up racist, I automatically do not care what you think. I merely mention it to provide clarifying context for why I am so extremely, comprehensively **done** with this discussion.
> 
> Because the thing is? I've read more of the fic in this fandom now, and I've seen people having Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get married with _wedding rings_. I've seen people writing Jiang Yanli's name as "Jin Yanli" after she marries. I've seen so many things that are just... blatantly wrong, and yet somehow those writers don't seem to get the abuse I got for this, and it seems just a _little_ unfair.
> 
> I wrote an entire novel-length book, and you're reading it for free. If you find it unsatisfactory, then... don't.
> 
> And yes, if you're wondering, I'm still getting people commenting to tell me that MDZS "is historically accurate", although it's rare they get past the comment moderator, who is still not me.
> 
> Seriously. In so many words. Despite the fact that MXTX, who _wrote it_ has said it isn't, wasn't even trying to be, and despite the fact that, you know, it _absolutely definitely isn't._
> 
> There was also one person who called me a racist for "cutting" the Yin Iron plotline. That one was funny. Sort of wish I hadn't deleted that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was doing research into Chinese traditional wedding customs, one website I went to had a link asking me if I wanted to see a traditional Chinese wedding as part of my trip to China.
> 
> Now, I wasn't taking a trip to China, and am still not taking a trip to China, but even if I were taking a trip to China?
> 
> NO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE SOMEONE'S WEDDING AS PART OF MY TOURIST EXPERIENCE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
> 
> In the hypothetical event that I take a trip to China, I would love to take part in or observe traditional cultural events like, say, festivals. Musical performances. _Things that are open to the public and not private, personal things in any way._


	21. Chapter 21

Lan Zhan plays _Cleansing_ for him every night. Wei Wuxian can't pretend it isn't helping, that his project in Yiling isn't taking a toll on him, but he refuses to give up on it.

> It's possible some of this relates to how Wei Wuxian reads as extremely ADHD to me.
> 
> He _could_ be doing this more slowly, but he seems to have a tendency to hyperfocus, and obsessing over a project once it's begun.

If nothing else, he doesn't want to take the risk that someone else might be thrown in there too, to die horribly or to come out... changed, in the way he had. He has no illusions that the Burial Mounds made him a better person, they absolutely did not, and for all that arrogance has always been a flaw of his, he doesn't think it's _just_ arrogance for him to think that someone else, possessed of power like his, could be far, far worse.

> This is a valid viewpoint, since he doesn't yet know the reasons this isn't really a risk.

He only needs to imagine Su She, or Jin Zixun, or the Jin Guangyao who murdered Nie Mingjue and was willing to use the children of cultivators as bait to kill their parents.

One of the things he needs to do in this life is ensure that no-one else can find the path he did.

Still, they take a longer break before resuming their work after Jiang Cheng's wedding. By their next trip to Yiling, they're getting near to winter, and the wind at the top of the mountain is bitter and biting.

The work this time, at least, is much less difficult and not nearly as unpleasant. The resentful energy has thinned enough to take a gentler approach to dealing with it.

They fly again to land outside the cave, but this time they can simply walk in without real threat.

Lan Zhan sets out his guqin as Wei Wuxian marks out a very carefully designed array. It glows faintly as he completes it and steps back, drawing Baohu, and then brighter as it begins to draw the resentful energy towards it.

Lan Zhan begins to play, and Wei Wuxian joins him on Baohu.

This time there's no agony of assault on his sense of self; this time they're using the approved techniques of the Lan Sect, calming and dispelling the resentful energy even as the array gathers it.

Hour after hour, they play. Wei Wuxian pauses briefly when his mouth is getting too dry to play, sipping water they brought with them from Lotus Pier and holding the container for Lan Zhan to drink as well before resuming.

Finally it's getting dark, and they're both tiring, and their water is starting to freeze, and this still isn't a good place to be at night.

They return to Yiling, and then go back to Lotus Pier in the morning.

> They're in the tedious phase of the cleanup tbh

\---

Only days after that, it's time to go to Jinlintai for Jin Guangyao's wedding to Mo Fan.

Wei Wuxian enjoys himself, standing proudly in his role as father of the bride. Jin Guangyao and Mo Fan seem very much to be in love, and Mo Fan is _definitely_ not his sister (Wei Wuxian did, in fact, check), so he has high hopes for the couple's future.

> look, if Jin Guangyao's getting married, you just... check that the bride isn't his sister
> 
> that's a thing you do

A-Yuan and Mo Xuanyu are painfully adorable playing together in their little formal robes.

Jin Zixuan, with Madam Meng on his arm, smiles at the guests as if daring them to comment.

> POWER MOVE

(Wei Wuxian will forever regret mentioning to shijie that Zixuan almost seems like he's deliberately challenging everyone present to make a comment about it, because her reply of, "Yes, it would seem so. It's very... loyal of him," is perfectly defensible, but he can _see_ the moment where she decided _not_ to say that it was _attractive_ or _sexy_ or something equally terrible, and Wei Wuxian regrets all of his choices.)

> at some point he will come to terms with the knowledge that she likes him
> 
> but it hasn't happened yet

\---

They spend the winter in Yunmeng. Gusu is very cold in the winter, and Lotus Cove is not.

> They also like spending summer in Gusu. Make climates work for YOU.

They still visit Yiling every few days, except for the miserable time when A-Yuan has a cold. (He's still a remarkably sweet child, even when he's sick, but his quietly tragic misery is heartrending.) Their progress is gradual, but definitely there.

By the time winter is coming to an end, they've made really a _lot_ of progress, but the final stage of his plan can definitely wait until after a very important thing has happened.

Because shijie is getting married, and Wei Wuxian is going to be there.

> This is, for pretty obvious reasons, a Big Deal.

\---

In this life, again, he and Jiang Cheng have fantasised about how lavish, how beautiful, how perfect shijie's wedding should be.

With the money of the Jin paying for all of it, and the Jin themselves determined to go all out, to put on a thick face after everything, to show that after the death of Jin Guangshan, the war, and the irregular additions to the Sect Leader's household, they are still, very much, the Jin, they get their wish.

Every part of shijie's wedding hovers on the very edge of the boundary between sumptuous luxury and obnoxiously tacky ostentation.

It's perfect.

When Zixuan comes to knock down the door for shijie, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are _prepared_.

> And finally all my research into traditional Chinese weddings actually makes it into the fic.

First, he has to get past Lan Zhan at the entrance to the courtyard beyond which are shijie's rooms. Lan Zhan has prepared a list of questions on cultivational technique, on history, and also on music theory. (Because why not?)

Zixuan gamely does his best, and his score is... adequate. Lan Zhan permits him to pass (after the occasional expressionless stare conveying his disappointment). Zixuan looks relieved until he steps into the courtyard, and both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng step out to block his way.

> They had far, far too much fun with all of this.

Wei Wuxian is giving his most menacing smile, twirling Baohu in his left hand. Jiang Cheng is scowling, and Zidian is sparking.

Zixuan bows warily.

"You didn't think it would be just one test, did you?" Wei Wuxian asks.

"For _her_?" Jiang Cheng adds, and flicks his wrist for effect. Zidian cracks in the air.

> the return of DRAMATIC JIANG HABITS

\---

Watching from the window of the pavilion where she waits, Jiang Yanli sighs fondly. Her brothers are so sweet.

> I am convinced that Jiang Yanli thinks her brothers being EXTREMELY EXTRA is adorable and it explains so much about both of them.

\---

"So tell us, Jin Zixuan," Wei Wuxian says, drawing Suibian. "Will you face us?"

"Both of us?" Jiang Cheng draws Sandu. In unison (they may have practiced this, Wei Wuxian admits nothing), they level their swords at Zixuan's throat.

> they have spent WEEKS on this

"Do you think -" Wei Wuxian says.

"- for a moment -" Jiang Cheng adds.

"- that you can win?" Wei Wuxian finishes.

> so extra

Zixuan looks at them both. Their blades are very steady.

And then he draws his sword. "No, I can't win," he says simply. "Not against both of you. But for her, I'll try."

> Jin Zixuan learning to deal with these two being ridiculously extra by just... rolling with it is a very important step in his future marital happiness. It's going to happen, just... don't freak out, it only encourages them.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng nod, and sheath their swords. "Acceptable," they say together.

"We can't have you marrying her all sweaty and bleeding," Wei Wuxian tells him cheerfully. "So that will do. Apart from finding her shoes, of course. They're in Jinlintai. We were going to tell you Lanling, but shijie insisted."

\---

The wedding itself is beautiful, because the thing that Wei Wuxian has to admit is that they really do love each other.

> he admits that extremely reluctantly

He's so very glad to be there, standing between Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan (who, for the occasion, has respectfully foregone wearing his customary white robes, and has instead worn the colours of the Jiang Sect; it looks odd, but still wonderful, both because Lan Zhan would look good in absolutely anything, and because this is Lan Zhan's silent declaration that he, too, is shijie's family).

He's so very glad to see her bows, and to celebrate this moment, to toast their health, their fortune, and their future.

In his first life, he missed this, and it _hurt_ , even if the Wen did their best.

In this one, he's here. He's standing with her brother, he's standing _as_ her brother. He's leaning slightly to press his shoulder to Jiang Cheng's, and Jiang Cheng is pressing back; _this is it, we're here, we did it, it's perfect and she's happy_. It's everything they wanted for her, because they've known all along that she wasn't theirs to _keep_.

> Jiang Yanli's brothers love her so very much, and yet they always knew that their time with her was limited.
> 
> A couple of people seemed to read that as an alternative to being... unhealthily possessive? But that's not the thing. It's that she'll be _leaving their family_ to marry into another, and that's _a big deal_.
> 
> But they love her, and they know she loves Jin Zixuan, so they'll let it happen... but if Jin Zixuan were more like his father, his expected lifespan would be measured in _hours_.

Wei Wuxian is glad that he and Zixuan are friends, now. Zixuan is a better man than he thought; he has come to think so highly of him that he can even think that he will, in truth, be an adequate husband for his shijie. He adores her and respects her, and his joy today is evident.

> like... _barely_ adequate, but adequate.

And Wei Wuxian is here to see it.

\---

A few days later, Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan are back in Yiling. It's a very pleasant day, the spring sun bright and warm, a crisp, refreshing breeze blowing through the town.

Wei Wuxian stops at the stall of the toy-seller to buy a grass butterfly for A-Yuan, feeling nostalgic, but the man refuses to accept his money. "Please, please, my gift," he says earnestly.

"Thank you, then," Wei Wuxian says. "Very kind."

They walk through the town. Several other merchants come out from their shops or from behind their stalls to press things on them, quite insistently - food, jars of wine, a paper lantern, a basket to carry the rest.

"Is there some kind of festival I don't know about?" Wei Wuxian wonders, but Lan Zhan is as mystified as he is.

And then they reach the inn, and the innkeeper flatly refuses to accept their money too.

"Why not?" Wei Wuxian asks.

"I couldn't possibly take money from my lord Patriarch!" the innkeeper protests. "We are so grateful to you. So thankful. It is my honour to host you at my inn."

"... Patriarch?" Wei Wuxian says weakly.

> fucking what

"Is the title unacceptable? Everyone has been talking about you! Since you started visiting, everything has been getting better and better. You go to the Burial Mounds every time, we know, and the darkness has been lifted from our humble town. We cannot pay the fair price for what you have done for us, but we will forever give honour to the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-Jun!"

Wei Wuxian doesn't know who, or what, truly determines the vagaries of fate.

But if he ever finds out, he's ready to go quite a long way for the privilege of punching them in the face.

> awkward, because: I think technically that might be me?
> 
> please don't punch me in the face, Wei Wuxian

\---

The enthusiastic support of the townsfolk gives him an idea.

> I'm not sure I have anything to add to this part, really.

When he suggests it to the innkeeper, the man's response is positive. The townsfolk will be honoured to help him complete his work, he's certain! Honoured Patriarch is sure it will be safe for them, yes?

The word goes out.

The townsfolk bring axes, and rope, and assemble everyone who can be spared.

For three days, they cut, and carry, and drag, clearing all the most tainted stands of trees and brush and hauling the wood to the summit, stacking it in the cave.

Once, on an occasion that only Wei Wuxian now remembers, over a thousand living cultivators took refuge in the cave that was then called the Demon-Slaughter Cave with room to spare. It's very large indeed.

They put all the wood and branches they can into it.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji spend the time going through the cave placing talismans along the walls, as many as they can manage.

Finally they've cleared as much tainted plant life as he dares - much more, and they'd risk a mudslide engulfing the town when the rains come - and filled the cave with wood and talismans.

"Thank you all," Wei Wuxian tells the townspeople who've worked so hard. "Please return to the town, now, and stay away from here until we return."

"Yes, Lord Patriarch!" they chorus.

He's not sure he's going to get used to that.

Lan Zhan mounts Bichen. Wei Wuxian joins him, lets Lan Zhan wrap his arms around him to hold him steady, relaxes against him, trusts in Lan Zhan's strength.

They begin.

Lan Zhan flies them in a slow, steady spiral, looping around all of the Burial Mounds and ascending slowly as Wei Wuxian plays on Baohu, the Stygian Tiger Seal spinning above his shoulder.

The dead crawl free of the soil, thousands of ferocious corpses dragging themselves up, many of them dragging the bones of more dead with them.

As they climb, it almost looks like the mountain itself is rising with them, shuddering and seething upwards.

And still they rise.

It takes a long time to get to the top. When they do, the cave is clearly full, even as the dead climb over and on top of each other to fill every part of the space inside.

He shifts the melody slightly, adds a long, low note, and triggers the talismans within.

If they were relying on normal fire, there wouldn't be enough air inside the cave to burn.

They're not. Not yet.

And the flames roar white-hot.

Lan Zhan eases them back, away from the smoke that pours thickly from the cave entrance. The breeze carries it away; it will disperse high in the sky, and be harmless before it is returned to earth. The dead keep pressing forward. As the bodies within crumble to ash, new ones enter, rank after rank of them, marching steadily into the fire that consumes them each in turn.

They've almost all been dead long enough that their bodies have become very dry, and each new wave provides fuel for the flames that will consume the next.

It seems an eternity before the very last of them stumbles in.

The heat radiating from the entrance to the cave is intense as Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian land on the plateau. The stone itself has taken on a muted orange glow.

Lan Zhan pulls out his guqin, and together they play _Rest_ for the ashes of the dead of the Yiling Burial Mounds.

When it's done, they move further away. Wei Wuxian sighs, and plays a short, trilling melody on Baohu. Lan Zhan adds a counterpoint on his guqin.

The rock above the cave entrance shudders, and cracks, and falls, blocking the cave entrance completely.

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and listens, breathes, extends his senses as far as he can reach.

There are traces of resentful energy still on the mountain, clinging to the soil and to some of the vegetation, but it's weak, scattered - he's felt much worse in other places.

He opens his eyes, and smiles.

"I think," he says, "it's over."

> This is also a Big Deal.

And then the world goes dark.

\---

He wakes at Lotus Pier.

He can hear guqin and xiao music - he is, he thinks, starting to get quite tired of _Cleansing_ , actually - and when he opens his eyes, Wen Qing is leaning over him.

"You're an idiot," is the first thing she says.

> I like this scene.

"Is that a way to address your husband's shixiong?" he protests weakly.

"Yes." That's Jiang Cheng's voice. "Because you're an idiot. And not my shixiong."

"We thought all your little trips away were just night-hunting," says Madam Yu, and he is in _so much trouble_ , apparently.

"Or even just taking some time for yourself would be fine," Uncle Jiang adds.

"You did get married right before the war started, after all," says Lan Xichen, and the only reason that this isn't pretty clearly the most trouble Wei Wuxian has ever been in is that there was that one time when Jiang Cheng and a few thousand other people all came to kill him. And that other time Jiang Cheng and hundreds of other people came to kill him. Or the time he got thrown into the Burial Mounds, or -

"We didn't realise that you had decided to cleanse the Yiling Burial Mounds by _yourself_ ," and _how is this getting worse_ , but that's shijie's _so very grieved by her disappointment_ voice, and he has even less resistance to that than the juniors do.

"Lan Zhan was with me," he says weakly.

"Yes," says _Lan Qiren_ , "that is also disappointing. Wangji should know better."

"We've all been very worried," says Wen Ning, and Wei Wuxian is about ready to give up. He's not sure what he's giving up _on_ , but he's ready. Did _everyone_ decide to visit Lotus Pier at the same time?

"If you'd asked, we could have helped," says Madam Yu. "There was no need to exhaust yourself like this and trouble Madam Wen to take care of you. Imagine if the people of Yiling hadn't sent to tell us that Hanguang-Jun had collapsed after he carried the _Yiling Patriarch_ back to town?"

Lan Zhan is clearly fine, or they wouldn't all be having such fun at his expense. Wei Wuxian looks at Wen Qing. "Just kill me," he pleads.

She raises an eyebrow, and her lips twitch into the faintest of smiles. "Wei Wuxian, do you really imagine I would ever let you off that easily?"

> Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing are beginning to develop the relationship that Wei Wuxian has secretly yearned for.
> 
> In which Wen Qing doesn't let him get away with _anything_ (except when she does), and almost all of the time, they both pretend to be unaware of the affection they feel for each other. They exist in an ill-defined space between friends and siblings that's pretty much perfectly suited to being in-laws.

\---

The worst punishment is yet to come, but they save that for when Lan Zhan - who's just in the next bed, it turns out, having over-exerted himself somewhat, but suffered no other ill effects - is also awake.

That's when Madam Yu brings in A-Yuan, whose little lip trembles as he looks between his parents. His expression is _heartrending_.

"You see, A-Yuan? Father and Daddy are fine," she says. She looks flatly at Wei Wuxian, as if Lan Zhan hadn't been _right there with him_ \- which he has to admit is fair, because Lan Zhan would have preferred to take the whole thing more slowly, but Wei Wuxian had pushed and Lan Zhan, in any life, can rarely say no to him, really - and adds, with the air of one delivering the killing blow: "A-Yuan has been _very worried._ "

A-Yuan nods emphatically. "A-Yuan worry," he says mournfully.

Wei Wuxian is the worst person in the world.

\---

 _Earlier_ :

"They'll be fine," Wen Qing said. "Lan Wangji will be all right as soon as his spiritual energy recovers, which won't take long. Wei Wuxian will take a little longer, but with care and Master Lan Qiren's assistance, he'll be up and about within two days, I think."

"And then I'll kill him," Jiang Cheng declared.

"He's so reckless," Madam Yu fumed. "I'm going to forbid him from leaving Lotus Pier without giving me an itinerary."

> Observe Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng in their natural state: showing their love through rage

"He won't take that well," Jiang Yanli said mildly. "There is a much better way to encourage A-Xian to show more restraint."

"Really, A-Li, you're far too soft on him," Madam Yu began, but stopped, blinking, when Wen Qing shook her head with a smile.

> Madam Yu is still working on learning to get past her instinctive lashing-out reaction to the kinder person she's being trying to be, and doesn't react positively by default to her daughter's tendency to be soft and gentle with the boys.
> 
> But she listens to Wen Qing, because _Wen Qing is perfect_.

"Forgive me, Madam Yu, but I think we should listen. What did you have in mind?"

Jiang Yanli's smile was soft and warm as she rose and went to sit next to A-Yuan, who was playing quietly on the floor.

"A-Yuan, Daddy and Father have been quite foolish and naughty," she said.

The child looked up with an expression of astonishment. "Father naughty too?" The idea seemed to be revelatory to him.

"Yes," Jiang Yanli said very seriously. "Father was very naughty. What happens when people are naughty?"

"Displin!" A-Yuan replied instantly. Jiang Yanli smiled, and he looked slightly dazzled.

> people who cannot judge A-Yuan for being utterly in love with his aunt: Jiang Wanyin, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jin Zixuan

"That's right! But sometimes adults need _special_ discipline. Daddy and Father need very special discipline this time. Would you like to help?"

"A-Yuan help!" He clambered into her lap.

"Wonderful!" Jiang Yanli said. "Now first, let's practice making a very sad face..."

> The origin story of a tyrant.

Madam Yu pressed her hand to her heart. "I've never been so proud," she murmured.

"I don't know whether this is amazing or terrifying," Jin Zixuan said.

Jiang Cheng was staring in horror. "Does she - does she do it on _purpose_?" he whispered.

Wen Qing looked at him. "Hasn't she had you and Wei Wuxian wrapped around her little finger for your entire lives?" she asked.

> yes she has

He opened his mouth, closed it again, opened it. "I - but - she -"

Wen Qing tilted her head. "Will it really make a difference if _she_ does it on purpose, or if she's just teaching A-Yuan to do it because she knows it works?"

> no it will not

He stared.

Wen Qing continued. "Do you think you will somehow magically develop the ability to say no to her?"

> no he will not

He wilted.

Wen Qing smirked. "That's what I thought."

\---

The disciplinary instruction of Lan Wangji is severe, and undertaken before Wei Ying awakens.

"He will recover," Madam Wen informs him when he asks, "but it was a very near thing. He nearly died."

And then she simply leaves Lan Wangji to think about that.

> brutal

Lan Wangji knows, as a matter of certain fact, that he lived for a number of years before Wei Ying entered his life.

It nonetheless doesn't seem quite... real.

His memories of who he was before he knew Wei Ying have a strangely dreamlike quality, as if they happened to someone else.

They did, he thinks. He isn't the same person, he couldn't be the same person again.

He knows only a vague outline of how things happened, the first time Wei Ying remembers him. That Wei Ying teased, and flirted, and did not know he meant it; that Lan Wangji resisted, and turned away.

That they fought, and Wei Ying walked away from him, and he walked away from Wei Ying, over and over again.

> Lan Zhan is quite different, in some ways, from his canon self, because both times Wei Ying was in a lot of ways the most centrally important figure of his entire life, and his experiences with Wei Ying are just _so_ _different_.

He can't, doesn't want to, imagine the kind of turmoil he would have felt, knowing that Wei Ying would have been in him by then - Wei Ying, he knows, would always become part of him, he'd always be helpless to resist the way he seeped into his skin, the warmth and light of Wei Ying filling all the cold, dark places of him.

> And this Lan Zhan is pretty confident that he's better off this time around. Because on the one hand, Wei Wuxian took years of experience with him into their first meeting, and set out to entice him right from the beginning, and Lan Zhan's whole existence has revolved around Wei Ying since he was sixteen. It was unfair and a little problematic, because there was a real power differential there.
> 
> The thing is...
> 
> It did that anyway, when they met as equals. It was always going to, and Lan Wangji knows that. It was inevitable.
> 
> And this time, he got the kindest version of that. The one where Wei Ying already understood both himself and Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan fell in love and his love was instantly reciprocated.

Lan Wangji was born to a cold austerity, raised to treat his feelings as weaknesses and accept that his isolation from others was a mark of virtue, a glorious reward for his excellence and not a prison.

He knows that Wei Ying died, and was dead for a number of years.

He knows that he survived - wounded, somehow, Wei Ying is still sometimes breathlessly overcome at Lan Wangji's smooth, unmarked skin, and Lan Wangji knows that the reverent kisses on his chest, on his back, are not, entirely, for _this_ Lan Wangji, but he does not resent it. If anything, he is thankful for them, because he is thankful for the man Wei Ying once knew him to be, thankful that whatever else he may have been in that other life, he was enough for Wei Ying to love him, to want to find him again in this one.

He thinks that perhaps that other Lan Wangji was a stronger man, because in this life, he is not sure he could survive losing Wei Ying.

Or perhaps he could. Perhaps, again, their son would be enough to hold him to the world.

He does not wish to find out.

> It's a difficult question.
> 
> Because the first time, Lan Wangji had a lot to regret, but he didn't lose _his husband_ , he lost the man he was pining for.

Loving Wei Ying has brought him a fierce joy he could never have imagined possible, a warmth of feeling where once there was only emptiness.

Loving Wei Ying has brought him a fear too large for him to encompass. Love is many things, he has learned, and one of those things is fear. He fears losing Wei Ying more than he fears death itself; what is death compared to the loss of that which makes life worth living?

Wei Ying, he knows, will not be careful, because Wei Ying is brilliant and knowing and perceptive except when it comes to understanding that he is loved, that he is necessary, that there are those who will feel his absence in every breath, every heartbeat.

Lan Wangji will have to be careful for him.


	22. Chapter 22

Wen Qing finds Madam Yu standing on one of the piers, gazing out at the river.

> I love the relationship between these two.
> 
> I also, specifically, love Wen Qing, and I loved finding a character voice for her.
> 
> She feels very analytical for me, a person who's always _thinking_ , who never reacts on instinct, who keeps her every movement and expression under careful control...
> 
> ... which ended up at a very specific place, because the thing is, that's not a natural way for a person to be, and I say that as someone who used to be like that. That's a product of trauma. It's who you become when it's not safe to be anything else.
> 
> Which leads to her having her own journey of healing, with the gradual untensing of all that control, and then the unpacking of trauma. In later stories in the series, she behaves in ways that at _this_ time would be _unthinkable_ for her, because over time, she learns what it is to be safe.
> 
> She's always brilliant, almost always composed and controlled, capable of tremendous compartmentalisation in a crisis. (Wei Wuxian being beaten almost to death by Jin Zixun and his men is deeply upsetting to her, and all of her feelings are set aside until she has time to deal with them.) But she learns to be softer, to be _affectionate_.

She never expected to have a mother-in-law. There was always the possibility that Wen Ruohan or her father would decide that she should marry... someone, but Wen Qing's chief worry had been for what might happen to A-Ning without her to take care of him, because she had been certain that death would be a preferable alternative to marriage.

> No marriage Wen Ruohan would have accepted for her would have been acceptable _to_ her.

And yet, here she is. Madam Wen of Lotus Pier, with a husband.

A husband who keeps his own bedroom in their shared chambers, who responds to the sharpness of her tongue with equal fire and a challenging gleam in his eye - a husband who is _fun_ , who is a _friend_. She has not had many friends in her life - among the Wen, there weren't that many people who would or could have dared to speak to the favoured daughter of Wen Ruohan's cousin, and none of them were anything but repellent to her.

> This is part of that safety.
> 
> When she speaks without thinking, when she shows irritation?
> 
> Nothing bad happens.
> 
> If she snaps at Jiang Cheng, it's _fine_.

A husband who listens to her and always considers her advice, when it isn't to do with medical matters, even if he scoffs at it, will argue with her and argue with her until there is an agreement, and then often he will do what she said he should do; even when she has to convince him, he always gives her the opportunity to do so. (When it is to do with medical matters, he does not argue, he merely listens; on such subjects, her word is the law of Lotus Pier.)

In the months since their wedding she has become fiercely fond of him in a way she never imagined. She has come to realise that his temper hides a good heart, easily hurt, that his bluster masks a terrible fear of inadequacy.

She has loved A-Ning for as long as he has been alive. She is at peace with her weakness for soft-hearted boys who fear the world that wants to cause them pain

> Seriously, Wen Qing is weak for needy, soft-hearted boys. It gets her killed, in canon.

, and A-Ning is no longer hers alone. (She is conflicted. She wants him to be loved, to have more people who will care for him, but she is aware of her own selfish desire to keep him to herself, the one love she was permitted to hold in the long, dark years of Wen Ruohan, pure and perfect. She is aware, too, of her own fear that others can not be trusted, that they will not be careful enough with something so precious.)

Her husband is hers, and hers alone, to the extent that she could ever want him to be. He has his family, of course, and his sworn brothers (she would not object if he had more friends, but he's no better at friendship than she is), but only she will call him husband.

> about that

She is Madam Wen, who is the daughter-in-law now of Madam Yu, who calls her Madam Wen with a gleam of pleased satisfaction.

Wen Qing thinks she understands it perfectly.

"Madam Yu," she says.

"Madam Wen." Her mother-in-law does not turn, but Wen Qing knows that if her presence were unwelcome, Madam Yu would say so. After a lifetime in Qishan, the bluntness of her new family is a balm. (She has never been so productive; no-one expects her to interrupt her work unless there is an emergency. Not even Jiang Fengmian, the Sect Leader and Chief Cultivator, will disturb her merely upon a whim.)

> Jiang Fengmian would, in fact, _never_.

"Wei Wuxian has a secret," she says. "You know what it is, don't you?"

Madam Yu does turn, now. "Yes," she says simply, and waits, expectant.

Wen Qing meets her gaze evenly. "Should I?"

It is the correct question.

> It's a very different question from _what is it_.

Madam Yu smiles. "Some of it, perhaps. You are his doctor, now, and you are family - although I should tell you that Jiang Fengmian and Jin Zixuan are also his family, and they do _not_ know, and that A-Cheng and Wangji know only some of it."

Wen Qing nods. She understands. Men are fragile creatures, and to love them is to want to protect them.

> Wen Qing's view of men is that they are either precious, or they are disposable trash, and there is very little middle ground.

"Come," Madam Yu says. "Let us take refreshments in my rooms."

\---

In the late stages of the war, Wen Ruohan would have given a great deal for access to the silencing wards of the Yunmeng Jiang. He was certain that they were being spied upon, that his plans were being stolen and given to the enemy.

He never contemplated that it would not have helped, when Wen Qing was still in the room. (He knows he never considered it; she is alive.)

> her plan was SO RISKY

She has no regrets.

In Madam Yu's rooms, their privacy assured, Madam Yu speaks.

"I will not tell you everything," she says. "When he was eighteen, I read his memory, and I did so without his consent. I have given him no apology for that, nor will I. I had reason. But I will keep the secrets I have no need to tell."

"Does he know?" Wen Qing asks carefully.

"He knows that I read his memory. He never asked me to keep my silence, nor did I tell him I would. I suppose he thought it would be pointless. If I were willing to keep his secrets, I would do so without his asking; if I were unwilling, then his asking would not change my mind. Or perhaps he didn't think of it at all. Wei Ying is the most brilliant idiot you will ever meet. Sometimes he thinks about things. Sometimes he does not. Sometimes he understands things that are subtle and arcane. Sometimes he does not understand things that are painfully obvious to everyone around him."

> honestly I stand by this

She gazes into her tea for a long moment, and sighs.

"He is very much like his mother in many ways. Among them is that he loves me in ways that I do not deserve, and does not love me in the very few ways that I _do_ , nor in the ways that I wanted, when I was younger, and more foolish."

Wen Qing has the sense of skimming across the surface of very deep currents. She knows almost nothing about Wei Wuxian's mother, or what Madam Yu might have wanted from her, and would not dare to guess, but she can find the shape of what Wei Wuxian lacked in the spaces between her husband's complaints about him. Wei Wuxian was brilliant and talented, but always wild and untamed. Wei Wuxian was never studious, never dedicated, was always brilliant, and always knew it.

Madam Yu likes order. Wei Wuxian is chaotic by nature.

Wen Qing understands; she herself is reluctantly charmed by him, but she was never required to be responsible for him. She also recognises that this is a gift; the formidable and admirable Madam Yu does not give way to sentiment unless she chooses to, does not share of her self this way lightly.

Wen Qing does not know whether this is the overture of a mother or of a friend; she has little experience with either. She values it either way.

> Both, really.
> 
> For all that she is, just... _super_ gay, the relationship Yu Ziyuan wants with Wen Qing is, very definitely, _mother-in-law_. But in the good way.

"In any case," Madam Yu says, straightening, "you should know this much."

Wen Qing learns.

That Wei Wuxian found a way to send his soul, with memories attached, back to his own beginning.

That Wei Wuxian remembers another life, one in which A-Ning was his friend, even after A-Ning's death. One in which Wei Wuxian sacrificed everything he had left to save A-Ning, to save her, to save the handful of their distant relatives who had survived a more comprehensive slaughter of their people than she has now seen.

That he failed, and saved only A-Yuan. (That Lan Yuan is her distant cousin.)

And that he did all of it without a golden core, because she had transplanted his into the body of the man who is now her husband.

"The core transfer is only a theory," she says, aghast, when she learns this. "It's never been done!"

"And yet you did it," Madam Yu says calmly. "Jiang Cheng and Wangji don't know about that part, and probably shouldn't. But that is, I think, much of why he believes he owes you a debt."

> That, and the part where she died in an effort to protect him, but Madam Yu isn't telling her that part.

She blinks. "You said he did everything he could to save us," she says.

"He did. He sacrificed his home, his relationships with his family, everything he had."

"Why would he think he owes _me_?" She doesn't understand this, at all.

"Because he tried, but he did not succeed." Madam Yu sighs. "It may be my fault."

> LATE AFTER I POSTED EDIT: The thing here is the recognition that Madam Yu in his first life did a number on his self-esteem. She wasn't the only source, she didn't start that fire, but she made it worse, and she knows it.

"Then I am grateful, I think," Wen Qing says, "even if that makes me selfish." Wei Wuxian has, after all, done a lot once again to keep her brother, and her, and their extended family alive.

Madam Yu smiles faintly. "He loved you. I think he would still have tried to find you. In his heart, you are family."

> But Wen Qing may be permitted to know that Wei Wuxian loves her, because he would be fine with her knowing that. He won't say it because he's not very good with FEELINGS a lot of the time and he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable or anything, and he still doesn't _want_ anything from her. 
> 
> She exists. She's _regularly_ doing that where he can see her.

Wen Qing does not know if she wants to admit that the thought pleases her. Admitting to a fondness for Wei Wuxian is dangerous; there is no question that he will take shameless advantage of it.

> he will take shameless advantage of it even if you don't admit it, though

"So now I understand why Yiling," she says. "Does he know how dangerous his demonic cultivation could be?"

Madam Yu's expression sharpens to disapproval. "He does, but he is very nearly as reckless and headstrong as he was before. He uses it only when he thinks he has no choice, but he is not always sensible as to whether that's actually true."

Wen Qing nods.

"If there is nothing more I need to know, I think I will consult my books," she says. "There may be something that suggests a way the damage can be better treated."

"If you speak to Wangji or Lan Xichen, I'm sure they'll be more than eager to get you access to the Cloud Recesses Library too," Madam Yu says. "They've both looked, but they lack your expertise."

Wen Qing had not considered the possibilities that followed from marrying the brother-in-law of one of the Twin Jades of Lan, who is the sworn brother of the other. Access to the Library at Cloud Recesses? Under the circumstances, Lan Wangji would probably arrange for her to be permitted to study there for _as long as she wants_. If she'd thought to ask, they could have discussed it before Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen left to return to Gusu.

"Madam Yu, I -"

> AM OVERCOME WITH NERD YEARNING

"Go," Madam Yu says, laughing. "I will tell A-Cheng that the new buildings should include space for a library of our own."

\---

Lan Wangji has been given permission to leave her small infirmary, but that is nonetheless where she goes first to find him, because Wei Wuxian has not.

Surprisingly, Lan Wangji isn't there.

"Oh no!" Wei Wuxian exclaims upon seeing her. "You're back! Am I in trouble? I haven't done anything, I promise, I've been good. A-Yuan, save me!"

A-Yuan, who was sitting on the bed playing peacefully with his grass butterflies, is pulled up and held in front of his father like a little toddler shield. He takes this disruption surprisingly calmly; Wen Qing had not known that such a small child could look so long-suffering.

"Daddy being silly," A-Yuan says, with a world-weary sigh, and Wen Qing smiles without meaning to. (She quells the momentary alarm she feels at her slip of unguarded expression, reminds herself that here, in Lotus Pier, it is not dangerous to smile.)

"Is Daddy often silly?" she asks.

"Yes," A-Yuan replies firmly. He squirms free of Wei Wuxian's hold and returns to his butterflies.

> He's not wrong.

"Such betrayal," Wei Wuxian says mournfully, then turns his attention to Wen Qing. "Are you here to check up on me, or stick needles in me?"

"Neither. I was looking for your husband."

Wei Wuxian nods. "He'll be back very soon."

Wen Qing hesitates, but only for a moment. "I understand that one at Lotus Pier is my distant cousin," she says carefully.

> conversational pitch: OVER A-YUAN'S HEAD

Wei Wuxian stills. "Is that a problem?" he asks, just as carefully.

"No." She doesn't hesitate on that one, doesn't need to. "He is loved. He is thriving. I am glad. And there are a great many advantages to being a Lan and not a Wen."

He relaxes, and smiles again. "There are. Even more than being a Lan and not a Wei. Lan Zhan suggested that, you know, but I told him it was a ridiculous idea. There's no Wei Sect, or Wei Clan. Being a Lan gives him a connection. To a family, you know. People to share his name with." He says it lightly. There's no sign that it bothers him.

If A-Yuan had been Wei Yuan, then Wei Wuxian would have shared his name for the first time since he was a child.

She does not say so. He is undoubtedly aware.

> yes. yes he is.

It is then that Lan Wangji returns. Wen Qing hesitates. She doesn't really know how to begin a conversation with him. Normally, she doesn't need to. Conversations with Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are conversations with Wei Wuxian; Lan Wangji listens attentively. Occasionally he will make a cryptic comment to Wei Wuxian; even more rarely, he will say something clearly to other people.

> Lan Zhan doesn't like talking to people if he doesn't have to, and Wei Wuxian has been enabling that, just... so much.

Wen Qin wonders, sometimes, about the Lan Sect. The Twin Jades of Lan wear masks almost as impenetrably as she does, but they are the Sect Leader and his brother. Wen Qing was raised to know that allowing her thoughts (or worse, her feelings) to show would be dangerous, but the sons of Wen Ruohan had no such fear.

But then, Lan Qiren is always expressive (if what he usually expresses is outrage, she can't be certain that isn't because she has only seen him in the presence of Wei Wuxian), and Wei Wuxian seems to find Lan Wangji's expressions to be, somehow, varied and meaningful. Perhaps one simply needs to know them better.

Wei Wuxian cracks the ice that surrounds his husband as if it isn't there, as always. "Lan Zhan!" he says. "Wen Qing came to see you. And not me. Because I have been _very good_ and I am not in trouble."

"I wouldn't go that far," she says without thinking. (She does not flinch. She has not flinched from anything since she was very small.)

> but she did have a moment of internal freakout.

Wei Wuxian laughs in clear delight. (He knew her, once. They worked together, tried to build a home together. He loved her like family. Is that why he tries to provoke her so often? Did they spar with words easily, once, did she _trust_ him? She wonders what he was like, before. What they were like.)

> It's really hard to make sense of him and their relationship, from her perspective, because it's not quite _natural_ \- since before she even knew his name, he has loved her, and it makes for an odd dynamic with the ways he tries to respect her boundaries.

Lan Wangji speaks. "How may I assist Madam Wen?"

"Madam Yu suggested that the Library of the Cloud Recesses might have information useful for the treatment of unusual spiritual wounds," she says. She's not sure how to elaborate, but apparently she doesn't need to.

> GIMME GIMME GIMMEEEEE is not polite

Lan Wangji inclines his head. "If your visit can be delayed until Wei Ying is well enough to travel, it would be simplest if I were to escort you. If there is... reason for urgency, I can give you a pass token for the wards and a letter for Brother."

"It is not that urgent," she says, because she will not allow Lan Wangji to fear for his husband to satisfy her childish impatience, and because she shouldn't leave Lotus Pier until Wei Wuxian is stable (in medical terms, at least) in any case. "Thank you."

She bows, and takes her leave.

\---

As they approach the Cloud Recesses (by road, with a donkey; Wei Wuxian has been deemed well enough to travel, but not well enough to travel _by sword_ ), Wei Wuxian watches Wen Qing. She is not quite perfectly hiding her excitement, her eagerness (for the Cloud Recesses Library, of all things), and it's delightful.

He missed her, in his second life. In their time at Yiling, she had gradually become less guarded with him, allowed him to see her more fully, see the dry wit and compassion she hid like shameful secrets.

To his great joy, she has been the same at Lotus Pier. Here an unguarded remark, there an honest and genuine expression. He's been so very proud of Jiang Cheng, because Jiang Cheng is terrible at people and perhaps too accustomed to having Wei Wuxian and shijie there to talk to people for him, but with Wen Qing he has tried so very, very hard.

He argues with her - and Wei Wuxian doesn't think either of them would be happy if he didn't - but he is careful not to say the things she might not want to forgive, the things that would actually cause her pain.

> Jiang Cheng being a Good Husband. He's making an ongoing effort to understand and be careful of her _boundaries_ , while still being _himself_ , displaying a trust in her and their relationship.

He is still Jiang Cheng. He still scoffs at her and says terrible things, but it has clearly become a game; Wen Qing responds just as sharply, with a curl at the corner of her mouth that suggests she is enjoying herself.

Wei Wuxian is not going to take responsibility if they argue in Cloud Recesses, but he _will_ laugh.

The oddest thing about their arguments is that they seem to switch sides. Much of their discussion during the journey has revolved around the idea of setting up a medical school at Lotus Pier.

Lotus Pier is expanding; building new accommodations for the frequent guests who come to see the Chief Cultivator and also, slightly tentatively, for guest disciples who wish to train at Lotus Pier.

Wen Qing was arguing that it would be good for such skills to be more widespread, while Jiang Cheng contended that it would be too much work for her, since only she would really be qualified to teach. Somehow that resolved into Jiang Cheng insisting that it is practically a necessity, since it would simultaneously enhance the prestige of both the Jiang Sect and the Wen, while Wen Qing is now arguing that it would be too expensive to establish and maintain.

> This is just... a conversation. They discuss pros and cons like a debate; Jiang Cheng was concerned it would be too much work, so he argued that, and she convinced him that it wouldn't, and that was his only real concern; she's convinced him that it wouldn't, but that brings them to the next issue, which is cost, so she's arguing the negative, this time, and by the time they finish the discussion, they'll have considered every potential problem they can think of.

Wei Wuxian has some ideas on the subject, but at this point he doesn't want to get involved. The problem now is that they're approaching the entrance to Cloud Recesses, and no matter how much fun they're having, propriety probably does require that they stop arguing, at least for the moment.

The trouble is finding a moment to interrupt. He's not sure whether he has hesitated too long or not long enough when A-Yuan takes care of it for him.

"Daddy," A-Yuan says, from his perch in front of Wei Wuxian on the donkey, "Uncle too loud."

Wei Wuxian grins. "Yes, A-Yuan, much too loud. Shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, isn't it?"

"Yes!" A-Yuan squirms. "Down please, Daddy!"

Wei Wuxian passes him to Lan Zhan, who sets their son carefully on the ground. A-Yuan immediately scampers over to Jiang Cheng and tugs on his robes.

"Do you know nothing about money? The construction budget is -" Jiang Cheng stops mid-sentence and blinks down at his nephew. "Uh, A-Yuan? Everything okay?"

"Shouting forbidded in Cloud Recesses," A-Yuan says sternly, and points. "We nearly there."

> toddlers are thugs and have no chill

Jiang Cheng gapes.

"Fatherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me," Wei Wuxian says, to no-one in particular.

\---

At Cloud Recesses, Wen Qing disappears into the Library Pavilion, and Lan Zhan goes to assist Lan Xichen with Lan Sect matters.

Wei Wuxian is walking towards the cottage with Jiang Cheng and A-Yuan when he realises something very important, and stops dead.

"Jiang Cheng," he says urgently, grabbing at Jiang Cheng's sleeve. "Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng, I just realised."

"Realised what?" Jiang Cheng scowls.

"Jiang Cheng, what responsibilities do we have while we're here? You and me?"

"We have to look after A-Yuan, and -" Jiang Cheng stops. "That's it. That's all of it."

Wei Wuxian grins at him. Jiang Cheng is starting to grin back.

> awwww yeah

"You still have to recover. Nothing too strenuous until Wen Qing says you're allowed or I'll break your legs."

"Of course," Wei Wuxian says.

"And I told my father I'd finish the plans for the new buildings."

"Naturally."

They're going to have so much fun.

\---

For the first weeks there, Wei Wuxian behaves himself. He rests in the cottage, is attentive when people are playing _Cleansing_ for him - which happens a lot, because Lan Qiren decides that it will be excellent practice for the Lan Sect disciples to play it for him.

He's probably correct; several of them clearly need practice at guqin cultivation outside the classroom. If playing _Cleansing_ for Wei Wuxian in a pleasant cottage in the Cloud Recesses makes them this nervous, they're really not ready to use it for night-hunting.

He and Jiang Cheng pore over the plans for the expansion of Lotus Pier, and seriously discuss the prospect of guest disciples at Lotus Pier; by the time Wen Qing lifts his restrictions on exertions and cultivation, they've more-or-less worked out a curriculum. They even discuss it with Lan Qiren; Wei Wuxian's husband's uncle is an experienced and respected teacher, and his advice is actually very helpful.

They have been very good. Wei Wuxian feels extremely virtuous.

Lan Xichen has left Cloud Recesses to visit Nie Mingjue at the Unclean Realm. In his absence, Lan Zhan has developed a very set routine. He rises early, and goes to attend to his duties as the temporary acting Sect Leader. In the evenings, he returns and plays with A-Yuan until it is time for them to put their son to bed, and then he takes Wei Wuxian to bed. (The silencing charms of the Jiang Sect are very, very useful.)

This leaves Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng _the whole day_.

> Honestly, it's probably good for them. They're still so young, and they haven't had a chance to _play_ , to just _fuck around_ since the Sunshot Campaign.

\---

Lan Qiren has left the doors of his rooms open to enjoy the warm spring air. This means that he notices that Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin are approaching his rooms. (It also means he cannot pretend he isn't there, but he shouldn't do that anyway, he tells himself.)

The two young men of the Jiang Sect are laughing and nudging each other like children as they approach.

How, he wonders - not for the first time - can it be that these two are the husband and sworn brother of his nephews? They're so _undisciplined_ , so _demonstrative_ , so _wild_.

> And your nephews like that.

He clearly went wrong somewhere in their upbringing, but he isn't sure when or how.

> you let the Lan Elders near them, basically

The boys enter with reasonable decorum and bow with adequate form. Their greetings are appropriate.

"How can this one be of assistance?" he asks grudgingly.

Wei Wuxian smiles excessively. (Lan Qiren represses a forlorn sigh. Did Wangji somehow just never chance to see the boy smile before he let himself be so defiled that he had to marry him?)

> lol

"These unworthy disciples are most grateful for the advice of the Master," says Jiang Wanyin. "We find ourselves without duties to occupy our time while Madam Wen and Lan Wangji are still working here."

Lan Qiren feels faintly nauseated by the idea of these two with _free time_.

"We had an idea," Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Qiren does not feel well _at all_.

> Lan Qiren: secretly as dramatic as everyone else

"We have an idea for a training exercise," the boy continues, "in which we would set up a kind of practice night-hunt for the disciples to attempt to complete. Not dangerous at all, but designed to be something of a challange for them. We thought it might be, ah, _educational_ to try it for the junior disciples of the Lan Sect, if Master is willing. We could set it up in the forest."

Lan Qiren considers this.

The preparation and setup of such an exercise would keep these boys occupied for some time, away from the heart of Cloud Recesses, where they won't be bothering him or causing disruption to the Cloud Recesses, and he's reasonably confident they won't do _lasting_ damage to the juniors.

> "fuck it, they'll heal"

"Master is willing," he says shortly, and pretends not to see the look of unwholesome glee they share. "If it will make your preparation work easier, you are also welcome to leave Lan Yuan here with me."

He'd like to tell himself he has some kind of serious, responsible ulterior motive about seeing to the early education of his nephew's son, but he knows he doesn't. It is simply that it has been a very long time since Lan Qiren has had his work constantly interrupted by the necessities of caring for a small child, and he misses it more than he could ever have imagined he would when his nephews were small.

> his desperate grandad yearnings are in evidence

\---

It becomes something of a competition between them, because of course it does. For Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, _everything_ becomes a competition.

> E V E R Y T H I N G

Wei Wuxian is looking forward to doing this at Lotus Pier, too. He has ideas that depend on water or on climbable trees that are just impossible in a pine forest.

They work for weeks. (He was worried, at first, about leaving A-Yuan with Lan Qiren so long, but it turns out that for A-Yuan, Lan Qiren is the softest of soft touches. Wei Wuxian has serious doubts that Lan Zhan or Xichen were fed as many cakes, or received quite as many new toys as A-Yuan does.) The return of Lan Xichen does not interrupt their preparation. (Jiang Cheng insists that having Lan Zhan to help him at this stage would be cheating, so Wei Wuxian encourages his husband to spend some time with his brother, because he's into this, now.)

By the time they're ready, they have the prospect of even more young disciples than they had initially planned for, because this year's guest disciples have arrived.

Wei Wuxian would be worried that there would be too many, but he's pretty sure the numbers are going to be thinned out quite quickly.

He's looking forward to this.

> I enjoyed it too.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bolded comments are me shouting Queen lyrics at you
> 
> specifically We Will Rock You and Another One Bites The Dust
> 
> it probably actually makes the most sense if you look through for the bolded comments and the unbolded ones *separately* because I'm the worst

> _**heavy beat** _
> 
> **BUDDY YOU'RE A BOY MAKING BIG NOISE SHOUTING IN THE STREET**

The morning of Wei Wuxian's challenge is bright and pleasant, with clear skies, a light breeze, and a hint of the approaching summer in the air.

> it's a trap

They decided in the end to set up two separate paths, divide the juniors in half, and see whose route can eliminate the juniors the fastest. (Or, if some make it to the end, who can eliminate the most.) Each group is told they will be accompanied, although not advised or assisted, by two adults, something in between chaperones and referees.

> OR ARE THEY

Lan Zhan and Lan Qiren had observed Jiang Cheng's group, and Wen Qing and Lan Xichen will observe Wei Wuxian's. (There was an argument about the bias of spouses and sworn brothers.) Wei Wuxian was not permitted to watch Jiang Cheng's ("in case it gives you ideas"), and Lan Zhan swore on his honour, his name, and Wei Wuxian's life (Jiang Cheng insisted) not to tell him anything until afterwards.

Wei Wuxian's group is thirty young disciples, about a third of them Lan. They run the gamut from nervous to cocksure, and they are, by and large, _adorable_. He wants to pinch their cheeks.

> **GONNA BE A BIG MAN SOME DAY**

Instead, he tells them: "You have followed a trail of strange and threatening occurrences until you reached a path that leads to a mysterious town. The events so far were very clearly deliberate. The path goes through this forest. Your task is to find out what's causing the strange things to happen, and stop them."

Wei Wuxian's course is partly in the forest, and partly in the meadows around Cloud Recesses; he marked out most of the buildings with sticks and strings and paper, but there were a couple of peripheral buildings that weren't in use he was able to work with, as well. It doesn't seem very real, but he has a plan for _that_.

The juniors set off into the forest. Wen Qing and Xichen follow behind them. Wei Wuxian strolls along at the back until they're almost at the meadow where he's set up the main part of the town. When the screaming and swearing starts, he mounts Suibian and glides overhead for a better view.

> as a chaos gremlin, he wishes to look upon his works

The juniors are under attack by several dozen paper mannequins, animated by the Summoning of Painted Eyes. Each mannequin has "HELLO I AM A FEROCIOUS CORPSE =)" painted on its chest. They fight vigorously; they have been instructed very firmly not to injure the disciples, but they are trying to get hold of them and pull them away; if they succeed, that disciple is "killed".

Wei Wuxian is pleased to note that the two juniors who had been most arrogantly confident are among the six who are eliminated by the mannequins before the group manage to cut them down.

> **YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE**

When each mannequin is broken, powder explodes from inside them. (It took him nearly a week to work out how to do the powder; it's a mixture of flour and spices and spiritual energy. He's very, very proud of it.)

> he puts real effort into being a lil shit sometimes

The juniors are congratulating each other on winning the fight until one of them - Wei Wuxian makes a note to find out his name, because this one is smart, he thinks - says, "Wait. Those were ferocious corpses, and they got powder on everyone. I think anyone who breathed it or swallowed it might have corpse poisoning."

> **YOU BIG DISGRACE**

They stop. "But we can't -"

One of the boys who'd been most enthusiastic in the fight, and is covered in really quite a lot of the powder, says: "No, I think he's right. I feel -" and then falls over.

> **KICKING YOUR CAN ALL OVER THE PLACE**

Wen Qing is at his side almost before he hits the ground. She examines him quickly, and then frowns. "He seems like he should be fine," she says, then looks up at Wei Wuxian, still overhead. "What did you do?"

Wei Wuxian grins. "The powder has a charm on it. If it reaches your heart, you'll fall asleep. If you fall asleep before you're given a cure, you're eliminated. Who knows how to treat corpse poisoning? It can be cured the same ways."

The juniors are silent. "I do, but I'm just supposed to be watching," Wen Qing says, eyes on Wei Wuxian.

> She can see that he's _scheming_ , here.

Wei Wuxian turns to the disciples. "Boys! You are very fortunate! You have encountered two senior cultivators, who are willing to assist you! Pay close attention to these wise ones, and you might not die!"

> **WE WILL**

Wen Qing raises an eyebrow. "We are in the game entirely, now?"

"You are!" Wei Wuxian spreads his arms wide. "This is a competition. Jiang Cheng and I are seeing who can eliminate the most juniors in our challenges. If you can help them survive, you can help him win."

> **WE WILL**

Because they're them, and they never did learn _not_ to escalate things.

> they really didn't

Jiang Cheng should have told Lan Zhan and Lan Qiren the same thing. Wei Wuxian can't wait to hear how it went. He doesn't even know yet how many survivors Jiang Cheng had.

Wen Qing nods, and turns to the juniors. "All those who have been poisoned, speak now." As they do, she goes to each of them in turn and does... something that seems to paralyse them rigid. "The rest of you, carry them. Keep them upright. They may not be safe here, we cannot leave them."

Xichen hefts a boy in each arm. His glance at Wei Wuxian is opaque.

> dat Lan arm strength

Wei Wuxian laughs to himself. Surely Xichen must know better than to think he knows what's coming, here?

> yeah, he's starting to wonder if he should be running away

He lifts his flute and begins to play.

> ** ROCK YOU **

\---

Wen Qing is not sure what she might have expected when Wei Wuxian began to play his flute again, but it was definitely not this.

> **ooh, let's go**

Wei Wuxian has been famed as a prodigy in cultivation since they were teenagers. He was not what she was expecting, when they met; she had expected an intensely studious young cultivator, not the unserious, ridiculous boy. Even after he embarrassed Wen Chao at Nightless City (and if a part of her had delighted in that, she would never have been so foolish as to admit it), she thought his reputation must be wildly exaggerated.

> Can you imagine growing up around Wen Chao and not secretly wanting people to humiliate him in public?

She has heard of the things he did in the Sunshot Campaign, and thought she understood that his reputation was well-earned after all. She thought she had the measure of him.

As the mist rises around them, the sky grows dark, and the comical outlines of buildings in the meadow become solid, shadowy houses, she is astonished by him again.

The evocation of illusions is not a technique of the Jiang Sect, nor of the Lan. It is of very little practical use, and the elite sects rarely dabble in it; few have any proficiency at all. She would have thought it unlikely that Wei Wuxian would have learned it at all, and impossible that he would have had time to learn to do _this_.

She had not doubted Madam Yu's tale of Wei Wuxian having lived a life before this one, but it was... an idea, hard to encompass truly. This, somehow, makes it _real_. Wei Wuxian is far more than even the most dedicated student could hope to be by his age.

> This is why he has only himself to blame when Lan Qiren figures it out. He's showing off. 

She knows that she is a strong cultivator. She can sense the illusion, the spiritual energy that shimmers behind everything; if she concentrates very hard, she can see that it is still a beautiful day, it is not a foggy night in an imaginary town, but when her concentration slips, the illusion returns completely.

Even knowing his advantages, Wen Qing is very, very impressed.

In her husband's exercise, she had played a role, but it was far simpler; she was a villager, giving the disciples information about the local hauntings, but the information was less than completely accurate. (Not maliciously so; very much in the way that non-cultivators often misunderstood these things.)

> her husband doesn't cheat like Wei Wuxian does.

In Wei Wuxian's, Wen Qing is now responsible for the "survival" of twenty-three junior disciples. Her husband's victory is one thing, but now her _own_ pride is at stake.

She leads them into the town.

> **Steve walks slowly down the street, brim pulled way down low. Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet, machine guns ready to go.  
>  Are you ready, hey? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?  
>  **

There is a strange tapping sound ahead of them, like someone rapping bamboo on the ground. Wen Qing takes note of it, but she doesn't have enough information to decide what to do about it, and what she _needs_ is something she can use to make a cure.

She has a certain amount of faith that Wei Wuxian will play fair.

This does not mean she necessarily feels obliged to do the same.

The illusion is settled into place now. She can see that it _is_ an illusion, but she cannot see what lies beneath. She had, however, looked out before he created it. Most of these buildings are sticks and string, but there was one that was real... that way.

The tapping sound stutters, then skids ahead, raps hard in front of one of the buildings in the vicinity of where she was sure the real one was.

> This is one of the clues that they missed, and the juniors are absolutely going to hear about it.
> 
> The tapping sound going to the house that is useful is a major clue that the spirit creating it is _wants to be helpful._

Warily, Wen Qing approaches that one, and the tapping sound stops.

Just in case, she knocks at the door, waving at the juniors to stand back.

The door creaks open, just a little way. Eyes gleam in the darkness within.

> **Out of the doorway, the bullets rip**

"We're closed," says a voice. It sounds like an old woman.

"Please, Madam," Wen Qing says, "I have injured children to care for. If you could be so kind as to allow us shelter, we will leave very soon."

"Closed," the voice says, and starts to close the door, but Wen Qing jams her foot in the gap.

"I am very sorry, Madam, but it is very urgent."

The door opens wider, and the person inside shuffles away.

She enters warily, drawing her sword to see by the light of it.

Wen Qing grew up in the Nightless City of Wen Ruohan. She attended him in the Fire Palace, was called upon to treat his victims so as to prolong his entertainment. (For all that she has never killed, never drawn blood to harm and not to heal, Wen Qing has no illusions that her soul is unstained.)

> lil touch of the Wen Qing angst there. It's a thing that's just... a part of her thought processes, really.

Wen Qing, therefore, does not scream, and after a brief moment realises that the room is not hung with corpses; they are paper mannequins.

> **to the sound of the beat**

Several of the juniors _do_ scream, and she hisses for them to be quiet.

They drag all their poisoned compatriots inside, and she closes the door firmly. "One of you come with me," she says, and goes to look for the kitchen as Lan Xichen lights candles.

There must be something in here, she thinks, and sure enough, she finds rice.

Wen Qing has never cooked in her life. She is an expert at _brewing -_ tea, elixirs and the like. She does not cook. "Make congee," she instructs the junior disciple who follows her. "Use this. When it is done, give some to each of the poisoned ones."

While he is cooking, she goes to talk to Lan Xichen.

"What do you think?" she asks quietly.

"Many things," he says. "I fear that I am unable to suggest anything, right now. If I do, I may lead us all into a trap."

She frowns. That is surprisingly useless from one of the Twin Jades of Lan.

> But it's a very refined way to have a panic attack.

He smiles faintly. "I have some knowledge of... an incident much like this," he explains. "But I also know that Wei Wuxian is aware that I know it, and I can only assume that he has prepared for me to use that knowledge to try and find the answers. I am afraid that anything I might say will be dangerous to us."

Wen Qing does not pace. She does not display her emotions outwardly in such a way, but she has a feeling that there is something she is missing. She releases the boys from their paralysis, cautioning them to remain still, and goes to look out through the gaps in the paper window, to see if there is something that can be seen. There are a few ferocious corpses standing in the street outside - and they do, now, _look_ like ferocious corpses.

> sort of a pity, I loved the HI I AM A FEROCIOUS CORPSE =)

The boy she instructed to make the congee returns, and starts distributing it to the ones who have been poisoned.

"Are you sure about this," she hears one say.

"Madam Wen's instructions," the boy replies. She hears him head back to the kitchens.

"All together," one says ruefully. "Three, two... eat!"

There are choking and spluttering sounds. She turns around, wondering just how bad the boy's cooking had been.

"I feel like my tongue is going to burn off," one of the boys says weakly, just as the scent of spices reaches her. "Madam Wen, did it have to be so spicy?"

"What?" Lan Xichen says, sounding alarmed. He had been standing by the wall, seemingly lost in thought, but he crosses to the boys with quick strides. "Stop! Stop eating immediately!"

> Lan Xichen jolted from quietly losing his natural mind by OH FUCK NOT SPICES

"But Madam W-"

The boy collapses mid-sentence.

> **another one bites the dust**

The others follow within moments.

> **another one bites the dust**

Wen Qing goes to one, but he is simply unconscious, just like the one who had "died" of poison before.

"I don't understand," she says. "Glutinous rice should cure corpse poisoning."

"Not if the rice itself has been poisoned," Lan Xichen growls. "Madam Wen, how many boys did we have with us?"

"Twenty-three," she says. There had been thirty. Seven had fallen. Eleven had been poisoned.

Lan Xichen's expression is grim.

She looks around, and counts.

Eleven boys are on the floor, unconscious.

Twelve boys are standing, looking horrified.

The one who took the pot back to the kitchen did not return, but there are still twenty-three boys in the room.

Twenty-three here, and another one who left. If she'd looked, would she have seen the shimmer of illusion over him? She's stopped noticing it, when _everything_ around her is illusory, but he must have come into the house with them.

Only twelve boys are still, in the game, alive.

Wei Wuxian has taken out more than half of their juniors, and they've barely even begun.

> **and another one down, and another one down**
> 
> **another one bites the dust**

"Groups of three," she says. Her voice is even. Her voice is always even. She will murder someone with her bare hands before this day is over, but her voice is still very even. "Stick close together at all times. Don't lose each other no matter what. Make sure you know who your partners are and _don't_ get switched."

> Wen Qing has tremendous self-control but this is, already, just an extremely aggravating day in ways she had not expected.

She goes to check the kitchen.

There is still some uncooked rice left, if she were willing to trust it. The residue of spices and Wei Wuxian's fake corpse poisoning powder is around the table. There is no-one else present.

The woman who was here when they arrived is sitting motionless in a dark room. The room's doorway is between the front room and the kitchen; they would have seen her if she had left it while they were there.

> The woman could have been a source of information, one way or another. Even if they'd just... thought about her, they could have drawn some helpful conclusions.

So much for that.

Back in the front room, the boys have sorted themselves into groups of three. Each group is definitely three, and there are four groups.

One of the groups is at the window, crushed together to peer outside, and when she returns, one of them - the one who thought of corpse poisoning, she remembers - turns to her, frowning.

"Madam Wen," he says, "there are ferocious corpses outside. And I think I saw a ghost."

> Yes you did, and what are you going to do about that?
> 
> Why are you now just expecting the adults to tell you what to do? Why aren't you still _thinking for yourself_? Because sometimes adults are inexperienced, or just misguided or straight-up wrong, and following orders thoughtlessly will get you _killed_.

"We should be safe in here." They're not making progress, but they do at least have time to try and formulate a plan.

"I know," he says, "but they're not even trying to get in. They're walking along the street, and they all seem to be going in the same direction."

She blinks. "What is your name?"

The boy sketches a hasty bow. "This one is Nie Jian, courtesy name Guoyi."

She nods. "Lan Xichen, how close did you get to the corpse powder?"

"Not at all," he says.

"Good." She crosses to him, flicks out a sharp blade, and cuts away a panel of his outer robes. "You're being no help _at all_ , so you can be the one to lose clothing." She tears the material into strips, and concentrates, infusing each with spiritual energy.

This is the cultivation of her family.

She presses a piece over her nose and mouth, where the fabric clings to form a seal. She can breathe through the mask, but it will admit no toxins or noxious fumes. She quickly supplies one for each of the survivors.

"Do not take that off," she instructs sharply. "It will keep you from inhaling corpse powder."

She sighs. She can't help the feeling that she is absolutely falling into a trap.

> She is, but it's not her fault.

"We'll leave by the back door," she says, "and go over the rooftops. Ferocious corpses shouldn't be able to get up there, but stay very, very quiet. Let's see where the corpses are going."

\---

Outside, the air is still and heavy with fog. Wen Qing leads the boys along the rooftops, leaping from house to house.

She's walked across several when she suddenly remembers that they've already left the one solid building; _these_ ones were made of sticks and string and paper, and were entirely unroofed.

She tests her footing.

It really does feel solid.

She wonders whether she would fall if she were to concentrate sufficiently to see through the illusion, but suspects she would probably be better off asking Wei Wuxian later than testing the idea herself.

> She is correct.

The ferocious corpses do seem to be moving purposefully. She can't see very far in the fog, so she follows along, cautious and quiet, until some kind of large, hulking structure begins to take shape, lit by a dim glow. She stops there, and waits for the rest to catch up.

The boys reach her, three by three. She counts them anyway; there are twelve.

> **hey**
> 
> **I'm gonna get you too**

But that is all.

"Where," she whispers, "is Lan Xichen?"

The boys look around. "He was behind us," Nie Guoyi says. "He was - he was right there."

One of the other boys whimpers.

> **how do you think I'm gonna get along** **without you when you're gone?**

Wen Qing is restraining the urge to use language that she is quite certain is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses.

But after a few moments, she sees austere features emerging from the fog. "My apologies," Lan Xichen says. "I thought I saw something." He looks very tense.

> He is having an absolute fucking meltdown internally, but he _mostly_ hasn't lost his grip on his outward self-control yet.
> 
> Here's the thing, though.
> 
> Lan Xichen, tense and freaking out, vocal tone flat, expression blank?
> 
> Gonna be hard to distinguish from Lan Wangji being Lan Wangji, especially in the dark, wearing masks, for someone who doesn't know either of them _that_ well.

"Keep up," she mutters, and starts moving forward again cautiously.

> **you took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own**

The fog is perhaps not quite as thick here. The street opens up into a square, over which looms some kind of... palace? Temple? Something. There are lanterns burning on the building's facade.

And then two figures land in the square, swords flashing. One of the swords is obscured by some kind of dark energy, as is the face of the person who wields it.

The other has a pale glare, and the swordsman is -

She stares. Looks from the swordsman to Lan Xichen, and back.

In the fog, and the dim light, with the masks they're _both_ wearing to cover their noses and mouths, they look identical.

 _The Twin Jades of Lan_ , she thinks.

One of them is surely Lan Wangji, but -

"What is Wangji doing here?" the man near her asks. He has come closer to stand next to her. She can't really see their expressions under the mask, and the method she has always used to tell them apart has been, more or less, that Lan Xichen smiles and Lan Wangji doesn't. She doesn't know their swords well enough to tell them apart without reading the names inscribed on them.

If she asks, he'll know of her suspicions.

Wen Qing swallows.

She cut Lan Xichen's robe.

The man in the square is facing the wrong way. She can't see where the cut should be.

> **Are you happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat?**

Her gaze slides down the man who stands near her.

His robes are perfect, entirely undamaged.

> As I recall, while I was writing this part, Velithya was doing something in the kitchen, and this is the point where I called her to read the new part, and she was like HOLY SHIT THAT'S LAN WANGJI THEY SWITCHED PLACES.

She sees Nie Guoyi follow her gaze, sees his eyes widen in realisation. He gives her a questioning look as he puts his hand to his sabre.

She nods.

Nie Guoyi draws and strikes in a single smooth motion, swinging hard until his weapon is near Lan Wangji's neck, twisting the blade as he does so so that the blunt back of his sabre is what actually touches lightly against his skin.

"Sir," Nie Guoyi whispers, "you are dead."

> **OUT OF THE DOORWAY THE BULLETS RIP**
> 
> **TO THE SOUND OF THE BEAT**

Lan Wangji nods and inclines his head with a rueful look in his eyes, then walks away, disappearing into the fog.

> Velithya was all disappointed that Lan Wangji didn't get to do anything before he got caught and eliminated.

Below, Lan Xichen is pressing the masked man back, back, back, and then abruptly the man jumps further back still and turns and flees into the large building. Lan Xichen chases him, disappearing into the dark doorway.

The ferocious corpses are still coming up the street. They don't enter, but turn to the sides. It looks as if perhaps they're forming some kind of circle around the building.

Wen Qing has a truly terrible feeling about this.

Reflexively, she glances back to count her collection of junior disciples, and has to repress the urge to just start shouting.

One of the groups is missing.

> **another one bites the dust**

She's down to nine.

> Velithya was all relieved that Lan Wangji got to take out one of the groups before he was eliminated after all.
> 
> He didn't. One of the groups decided that since the three of them were sticking together, they could totally go investigate one of the flickering shadows baiting them to separate from the group. Xichen didn't actually see anything, he just lost control of his ongoing panic attack for a moment and fell behind while he hyperventilated.

\---

She really doesn't want to go into the building, and is giving serious consideration to whether setting it on fire would count as solving the issue haunting the town.

Sadly, probably not.

Lan Xichen emerges from the building and leaps gracefully up to the rooftops where they wait. (Wen Qing looks at his robes, just in case; they have been cut.)

> Wei Wuxian, Grandmaster of Gremlin Cultivation, does not fuck around

"He's in there," he says flatly. "He is guarding some kind of artifact."

> really hard to tell "Lan Wangji being himself" from "Lan Xichen being flat"

"Just him?"

"Yes."

Wen Qing sighs.

This is going to go so badly.

"Let's go," she says.

\---

Inside, the building is a single cavernous hall. Lanterns and candles abound; it's surprisingly well-lit. At the back of the hall is a large, crude statue of a woman, posed as if dancing.

> technically Wei Wuxian does fuck around, I suppose, but he does it with great attention to detail.

The masked man is near the middle, leaning over a pedestal on which rests a corroded bell.

As soon as they enter, the doors close behind them.

The masked man straightens. He seems to be looking at them. He doesn't seem to be built like Wei Wuxian, but at this point, she really can't see what's illusion and what's not.

"Give us the artifact," one of the boys says, stepping forward. Wen Qing grabs his collar and yanks him back.

> I am TRYING to keep you ALIVE you LITTLE SHIT

The man shakes his head.

"What are you doing here?" Wen Qing asks.

"He is a demonic cultivator," Lan Xichen says. "He is taking the souls of the townspeople to empower his work, but they are insufficient. He has lured cultivators here to gain greater power from our destruction." His tone is grim.

"What do we do?" one of the boys asks.

"Now?" Lan Xichen asks. "Die."

He pulls his mask away.

He isn't Lan Xichen.

A chill of ice runs down her spine.

 _She can't tell what's illusion and what's not_.

> THIS FOOLED VELITHYA SHE WAS SHOCKED IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING THING
> 
> I AM SO PROUD OF THIS
> 
> SHE DID NOT SEE IT COMING _AT ALL_

Were the other man's robes really intact, or was that another illusion?

One of the boys draws his sword and swings at Lan Wangji, but he draws his sword and blocks the strike easily, disarms the boy and taps him with the flat of his blade. "Dead," he says calmly.

> **another one bites the dust**

Several of the other boys attack, to her utter dismay and fury. "No! Fall back!" she shouts, and drags Nie Guoyi away with her.

Four of the other disciples manage to pull free and back away.

 _Five_ , she thinks, slightly hysterically. There's no chance the three boys fencing Hanguang-Jun will survive, even if his care not to cause them real injury is delaying his ability to dispatch them swiftly.

And if they don't act soon, no doubt he will turn his attentions to the rest of them then.

"Madam Wen," Nie Guoyi whispers urgently, "If you distract the masked man I think I can smash his artifact."

She doesn't have any better ideas, at this point.

> She is not particularly convinced that this is a _good_ idea, is the thing

She draws her sword, and attacks.

The man is _not_ Wei Wuxian. His style of swordsmanship has none of the flair and unpredictability, but he is very, very skilled, and moves with flawless precision.

She is hard pressed immediately. She is not incompetent with a sword, but not truly outstanding; this was never her focus. She's a _doctor_ , she was never supposed to be a soldier, and Wen Ruohan would never have permitted her to night-hunt. She can only hope that Nie Guoyi will hurry.

> Wen Qing is mediocre when it comes to combat, and only when it comes to combat.

She does manage to draw the masked man away from the pedestal - by retreating, admittedly, but it's still _away_ , and from the corner of her eye she sees Nie Guoyi charge, raising his sabre high to smash hard into the corroded bell. It shatters with a hideous noise.

> **OH, TAKE IT**

The masked man stops fighting her and leaps back.

Wen Qing looks around.

Nie Guoyi is standing by the pedestal and the shattered remains of the bell. The boys who were fighting Lan Wangji are sitting on the floor around him, presumably officially dead. So is one of the others who'd backed away from him, but Lan Wangji has also leapt away to disengage since the shattering of the bell.

"That was unwise," Lan Wangji says.

The ground shakes, and she hears a terrible cracking sound.

The statue has started to move.

Wen Qing closes her eyes, just for a moment.

> **BITE THE DUST**

\---

After that, it's a massacre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love this chapter
> 
> _so fucking much_
> 
> I am proud of this chapter, I am satisfied with this chapter, I was looking forward to posting this chapter for SO LONG


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not 100% sure I'm happy with this? I did it a couple of weeks ago but wasn't sure about it, but I kinda want to post something and nothing else is going to be ready until further notice.
> 
> I was going to be posting some of the sequels to _For Both Of Us_ this week but as it turns out I have been and remain in hospital... and kinda too drugged to do much writing or editing.
> 
> (I should be fine! But it sucks.)
> 
> I'm reading comments but not really replying to them because it's only as of today that I have an internet-capable device that actually has a keyboard, and also did I mention I'm super-drugged?
> 
> Plus comments on the comment-moderated fics aren't getting moderated because the tablet Velithya would need to use to do that is here with me in the hospital keeping me from losing my mind from boredom.
> 
> I love you all!
> 
> EDIT: I HAVE BEEN RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL
> 
> I am still not very well and will not be writing much in the near future, sadly.

After the statue has killed them all - massive stone fists passing through where they stand without actually being solid at all, but Wen Qing will not argue that it doesn't count - the illusions flicker and disappear like mist in the sun.

The sun is high overhead. It's only been hours. It feels like much longer. She's _exhausted_.

> she seems to have found that stressful for some reason

Wei Wuxian appears from... somewhere, grinning. There is a small crowd following him; the disciples who had fallen to the corpse poison, now awake, along with Lan Xichen. The masking shadows have fallen away from the man she fought, revealing him to be Lan Qiren.

"Well!" Wei Wuxian exclaims. "That was pretty educational, I think!"

> lil shit
> 
> none of them know wtf just happened

"Yes," Lan Qiren says. "Both of these exercises have revealed many areas where the disciples are in need of instruction." His tone is ominous.

> Teacher Lan, meanwhile, is Greatly Disappointed

"Not just the disciples." Her husband has arrived. "Second Brother, you got taken out by a _child_. You aren't keeping up with your training enough." He glares. "If you were faster, I might not have lost, and also, you would be more likely not to _die_. I'm going to tell da-ge that you're _soft_."

> "You're older than me, so I can't tell you what to do, but I CAN tell Nie MIngjue that you died like a bitch"

Lan Xichen winces. Wen Qing is amused by that, at least; Nie Mingjue will undoubtedly find such a thing just as worrying as her husband does, and between them, they will force Lan Xichen to regain his training standard.

Her husband has reached her side, now, and offers her his arm.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I tried, but I couldn't save any of them."

"Don't be hard on yourself," he says wryly, and drops his voice to a whisper. "He cheats."

> look he would have been super-proud if she won it for him but his expectations were set no higher than "I'm sure she'll try" because he's aware that she DOES NOT have a background in night-hunting and Wei Wuxian?
> 
> CHEATS

"I never asked," she says. "How many survived yours?"

"Eleven," he sighs. "Wei Wuxian had the brother who _isn't_ soft." He glares in Lan Xichen's direction. "I really am absolutely going to tell da-ge, and he's going to deserve every single bruise."

> this gets put on hold but eventuallly..

She lets herself smile, slightly. "Is night-hunting always like that? I've never been."

"Almost never," he says. "Like I said, he cheats."

> THIS IS ABOUT THE CORNER CASES, JIANG CHENG
> 
> Seriously, the training exercise competition, when they run it again, does actually become about presenting the kids with _wild_ scenarios that they probably cannot survive, specifically to give the juniors the _awareness_ of the _concept_ that OH HEY YOU COULD DIE IF YOU DO THIS WRONG. MAYBE RETREAT FOR REINFORCEMENTS

\---

The juniors are breaking off into groups, discussing the exercise animatedly. Uncle is talking quietly and thoughtfully with Wangji, and A-Cheng is speaking quietly with his wife. Wuxian is talking to one of the juniors.

Xichen can probably leave.

> breakdown: i n c o m i n g

"I should return to my work," he says to no-one, and starts walking. He realises after a moment that he's gone in the wrong direction, but doesn't stop.

He suddenly hates the rule against running in the Cloud Recesses more than he has since he was a child. He wants to be away from here, away from all these people who watched that happen, who -

He realises he's stopped, that he's shaking, that he can't see because his hands are pressed into his face.

> and there it is
> 
> I think it was Velithya who pointed out the degree to which this would be an absolute literal nightmare for Lan Xichen.

He can hear someone raising their voice, too loud, this is the Cloud Recesses, but he can't say anything.

It's Wuxian. "Lan Zhan! You should take the juniors back to their classrooms. Jiang Cheng, perhaps you should, ah, accompany Master back as well, to discuss your... observations. About the training exercise."

A-Cheng. "What? But - oh, sh- okay. Yes. Master, what did you think... the students need to learn from this?"

> Jiang Cheng: what I was in the middle oooh shit okay yes let's cover for the visible meltdown Sect Leader Lan is having

The voices begin to fade away.

Xichen is relieved. It's getting hard to stand, and when they're all gone, perhaps he can just sit down here.

"Hey, Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen. Zewu-Jun." Gentle hands are tugging on his wrists, but he can't lower his hands, if he stops pressing them into his face so hard, something terrible will happen, he's sure of it.

> psychological breakdowns aren't very rational

"I think he's in shock," Madam Wen's voice is quite near. "I can -"

"No," says Wuxian. "Let me try something." Tugging at his wrists again. "Hey, Lan Huan!"

Xichen's arms go slack in surprise, and Wuxian is able to tug his hands away from his face. He can feel his lips shaping the syllables. No-one but Nainai has called him Huan since he was a child.

"Always works," says Wuxian, and his smile is warm and fond and not, Xichen knows, solely for him. He wonders if he and Wangji would still be closer if Xichen still called him A-Zhan. He wonders if Wangji would still spend more time at the Cloud Recesses if he did, if he would be less alone.

> He has been _very lonely_. Wangji left and was gone for _five years_.

He kind of wants to punch Wuxian. The feeling is strange and alien, but somewhere inside him there's anger, anger at the fey young man who came into his home and stole his brother away, and stole his peace of mind, showed him his own terrible weakness, left him floundering. He's tried to do better and he knows he's still weak, and he's so, so afraid, because he loves Xue Yang now, like something between a brother and a son, and he knows the boy could still become a monster.

> And Xue Yang was all he had, but loving Xue Yang when you know what he's capable of becoming is stressful.

Wuxian did this to him. All of that he could have accepted, but today? How can he accept today? Using his memories of Yi City for some kind of _game_? Xichen has _nightmares_ about Yi City. How does Wuxian live with all the terrible things he remembers when Xichen has only seen _some_ of them and he -

> not easily, at first

His face is wet and his throat is sore and he realises he's been saying this aloud, screaming it, he's on his knees in the grass and someone is holding him. Wuxian. He remembers he did this that first afternoon, too, but Wuxian is a little taller now, a little broader, and Xichen wonders if this is what it would have been like to be held by his father.

> Unlikely. Guaranteed your father gives shit hugs

"I'm sorry," Wuxian murmurs. "I didn't want to hurt you this much, I didn't realise today would upset you, I'm sorry." Xichen feels lips press into his hair, and sobs. "I forgot that you saw Yi City so recently. Fifty years ago it would have upset me too."

> One of the weird things about having a lot of trauma is just how much of it you forget is, like
> 
> genuinely horrifying to people who aren't you

"How," Xichen pleads. "How do you, how do you cope with all of this?"

"I've had a good life, this time around," Wuxian says, rubbing his back, "I've had a lot of time since the bad stuff happened. The way I coped before, you can't use."

He's angry again. "Why not?" He shoves at Wuxian, but his strength has left him, and Wuxian just keeps holding him.

"Because you don't have the alcohol tolerance for a drinking problem like the one I used to have," Wuxian says, "and anyway, you're not allowed."

> There's references here and there to just how much less WWX drinks in this timeline than canon.
> 
> He is Making Healthier Choices

Xichen has never drunk alcohol, but he remembers it from Wuxian's memories; the burn of it, the blunting edge of it, and he wonders, just for a moment, if he cares whether he's allowed or not.

"Here," Madam Wen is approaching; at some point she must have left. "The stove was still hot in that kitchen."

Wuxian doesn't let Xichen go, but his hold shifts, and a cup is put to Xichen's lips.

"Drink," Madam Wen tells him, and he does. It's something hot, a mild sweetness masking something bitter, and he feels himself getting calmer, exhaustion creeping into his limbs as the agonised tension leaves him.

> Wen Qing: I'm just gonna drug you now

"Will he be all right?" Wuxian asks quietly.

"He wasn't quite at qi deviation," Madam Wen says, "but you should probably be planning to stay here a while longer so Wangji can take over his duties. He should take some time to rest." Xichen feels her hand grip his shoulder firmly. "I know something about dealing with terrible memories," she adds. "I can help you, Lan Xichen."

Wangji is coming in at speed, flying low above the trees, until he leaps down and hurries to join them. "Wei Ying," he says. "Brother?"

> he worry

"He'll be okay, Lan Zhan," Wuxian says. "Let's take him back to the cottage. We can get there without anyone else seeing."

Xichen is tired, but he would be capable of walking unaided. He doesn't need Wuxian pulling one of his arms over his shoulders, his brother the other, each with one arm around him.

He doesn't pull away.

> because he is so fucking touch-starved being half-supported like he can't even walk is the nicest thing that's ever happened to him at this point

\---

Wen Qing leaves to collect some things from her quarters, promising to return soon.

Once they're at the cottage, Wei Wuxian suggests that Lan Zhan should go collect A-Yuan from the Elders who were looking after him. Lan Zhan nods and goes, and Wei Wuxian turns to Xichen.

"Lan Huan," he says. (He won't call him that in public, but he's suddenly realised that his husband's brother has much the same damage that his husband does, he just hides it better, and Wei Wuxian is unquestionably the world's foremost expert on Lan Zhan and the things that call to him.) "Lan Zhan loves you very much. If you hug him, he will hug you back."

> those Lan boys are seriously in need of someone who'll approach them with faintly parental intimacy

"He doesn't like touching people," Xichen says, and Wei Wuxian just stares at him for a moment. He always thought Lan Xichen understood his own brother so well - does he really not understand this? Is this where they went wrong?

"He doesn't like touching people _unless he loves them_ ," Wei Wuxian explains slowly. "He doesn't like touching people who _don't love him_. He doesn't like touching people who'll _leave him_." He shakes his head. "When did he pull away from you, Lan Huan? When did he stop hugging you when you were children?"

"When -" Xichen's breath catches. "When our mother died."

"Yes." Wei Wuxian says, and gentles his voice. "When the mother he loved very much went away, and left him, and he didn't understand why." He sighs. "Sometimes I could kill your uncle, I really could. You poor boys." He's sure that Lan Qiren did his best to raise his nephews well, but Lan Qiren is an excellent teacher for many reasons that would make him a terrible parent.

> you say that now and then later you'll be like "oh poor Lan Qiren he is also fucking broken"

He can teach rules and discipline and cultivation, but he is rigid, and strict, and never, ever playful, and Wei Wuxian seriously doubts he has any understanding at all of how to be loving.

Xichen is crying again, and Wei Wuxian feels, at this moment, very old. He wraps his arms around Xichen again.

"I'm sorry I didn't understand," he murmurs. "You've always hidden it all so well."

> revel in this, it may be the kindest I'll ever be to Lan Xichen as a writer

Lan Zhan returns not long after Xichen stops crying, A-Yuan on his shoulders. A-Yuan is smiling, which becomes a shriek of laughter when Lan Zhan lets him fall backwards, then spins to catch him before he can get below chest height.

> PLAYFUL DADDY LAN ZHAN

Wei Wuxian _hates_ when he does that - his heart seizes in his chest every time. But A-Yuan delights in it, and Lan Zhan gets that tiny smile, and on the scale of feats of speed and dexterity Lan Zhan is capable of, it barely even registers, so he can't ever bring himself to say anything.

A-Yuan throws his arms around his father's neck, and Lan Zhan holds him close.

> lan zhan was cuddly with A-Yuan even when he wasn't his kid, fight me

"You still think he hates touching people?" Wei Wuxian murmurs. He pats Xichen on the shoulder and stands. "Here, Lan Zhan, give him to me," he says aloud. He takes their son, but doesn't step away; Lan Zhan's arm comes around him as if by reflex.

Wei Wuxian looks back at Xichen and raises an eyebrow. _See?_

> look how touchy-feely your brother is, dude

A-Yuan tugs on his robe. "Daddy," he says, "Uncle sad." He looks up at Wei Wuxian. "Daddy fix? A-Yuan fix?"

> IF DADDY CAN'T FIX IT MY EXISTENCE WILL RIGHT

Wei Wuxian smiles at him. "Daddy has been working on it. A-Yuan can help soon." He gives Lan Zhan a little push towards Xichen. "Uncle and Father have to do some fixing first."

He carries A-Yuan to the kitchen to start tea, and says lightly over his shoulder: "Hug your brother."

\---

"You still think he hates touching people?"

Xichen stares at his brother. Wangji holds his son like it gives him joy to do so, reaches for his husband like there was nothing he wanted more than to be touching him. Xichen suspects he knew even before Wangji did that Wangji wanted Wei Wuxian, could barely stand to keep his hands from the boy, but it's somehow jarring to see that want so... non-sexual, so purely loving.

> no-one, not even Lan Wangji, is horny 24/7 and they absolutely shouldn't be while holding a toddler

Xichen has no memory of having seen his parents even in the same room as one another. He can't imagine them like this - can't imagine himself as A-Yuan, his parents exchanging soft warm smiles as he is passed between them.

> yeah that absolutely didn't happen

Are other families also like this in their homes where no-one else can see?

> varies

A-Yuan is a perceptive, attentive child, who obviously adores his parents, and he's not even paying attention. There's clearly nothing unusual there to _him_. He's looking at Xichen, and frowning.

His nephew has noticed his sadness; Xichen's loss of composure is all too clear, which means he cannot allow himself to be seen by anyone outside. He has no escape when Wuxian pushes Wangji towards him, tosses an instruction to hug back as he leaves like there isn't a vast, impassable chasm between Xichen and Wangji.

Wuxian always treats the barriers that keep everyone at a distance from Wangji like they're not even there. Xichen has envied him for years, but is it possible that it's just that simple?

Do Wangji's walls disappear if you just don't believe they're there?

> not for everyone. but he loves you

"You do not have to," Wangji says. There's a heaviness in his voice. To Xichen, it sounds like reluctance, but he wonders for the first time if it's _resignation_ \- if Wangji thinks he doesn't want to, and has accepted that as his lot, accepted that even Xichen would not care for that closeness, that even Xichen would leave him waiting outside and never open the door for him.

"I know," he says, and throws himself forward before he can think about it any further.

Wangji's arms come around him, hesitantly, and then he feels his brother exhale, feels strong arms wrap around him and squeeze tightly.

It's nothing like his memories. Wangji is almost as tall as he is, now, strong and solid, not the tiny, fragile thing he remembers. A-Zhan had needed comfort; Wangji is comforting.

Perhaps, he thinks, he doesn't have to be so alone.

\---

Madam Wen returns with A-Cheng at her side, carrying several stacked boxes. They both go into the kitchen, and Xichen suspects the use of a silencing talisman, because all sound from the kitchen cuts off abruptly.

After a brief delay, it returns; he hears A-Yuan laughing, and the murmur of Madam Wen's voice, and then everyone comes back out. Wuxian has a tray with tea; Jiang Cheng is carrying another, with food. Xichen realises that they haven't yet had lunch.

Wangji goes to take the tray from his husband and begins serving the tea. Xichen starts to move to the table, and then has to stop as a warm weight settles on his foot.

A-Yuan is sitting on his foot, arms wrapped around his shin, grinning widely up at him.

> EMPEROR OF ALL HE SURVEYS A-YUAN SAYS: SUBMIT TO LOVE

"Hello, A-Yuan," he says. He can't help but smile back.

"Uncle Purple bring food," he says. "Uncle Tall eat?"

"Of course, A-Yuan," Xichen says. "But I need to be able to move my foot to get to the table."

A-Yuan extends his arms upwards, beaming. Xichen takes the hint and picks him up.

"Uncle Purple is better than some things he's called me, I suppose," A-Cheng grumbles. Xichen takes the seat next to him and sets A-Yuan down. "But how come," A-Cheng adds, "you're Uncle Tall? I'm taller than you!"

He nudges Xichen sharply, the same way Xichen has seen him nudge Wuxian. Xichen is too startled by that to reply. His youngest sworn brother has always been a little bit reserved with him, compared to his interactions with Wuxian.

> Jiang Cheng has Instructions and he is Making An Effort

"I think it's because he's a tiny bit taller than Lan Zhan, and they look so similar," Wuxian says, covering the silence before it can be awkward. "Is that why, A-Yuan? Is he Uncle Tall because he's taller than Father?"

"Mn!" A-Yuan nods emphatically even as he takes an excessively large bite of a steam bun. He's leaning against Xichen's side. It's... nice. A-Yuan has no concern for his status as Sect Leader or the renown of Zewu-Jun. He's just Uncle Tall, and A-Yuan will cheerfully treat him like furniture.

> toddlers are thugs but they make it cute

"Ridiculous," A-Cheng says, but he's smiling slightly. "Wei Wuxian, next time we run training hunts, I'm disallowing these two. You cheat at everything, but that was too much."

"Hey, hey!" Wuxian protests. "They could have included him in their groups to keep track of everyone, or they could have talked to the ghost. There were lots of ways they could have won and survived. They even had Wen Qing to tell them how to cure corpse poisoning, but none of them volunteered to help her, or even noticed that they never met the boy who did!"

They bicker cheerfully over the tea and food, frequently demanding that one of Madam Wen, Xichen, or even A-Yuan arbitrate some point of disagreement. (Very occasionally, Wei Wuxian appeals to Wangji, but Wangji just looks at him fondly while A-Cheng protests that Wangji is too biased.)

Xichen realises that this is a deliberate tactic when they succeed in drawing Madam Wen into their conversation.

> Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are not particularly reserved, especially with each other, and can crush any awkward silence between them, but they don't want to just run over the top of everyone.

Wuxian and A-Cheng never seem to tire of provoking each other. Together they are entertaining, and they keep the mood light, but their appeals offer points for the others to enter the conversation if they choose to, and ensure that none of them are left to feel ignored.

He suspects they might not bother if it were just Wangji. Wangji is visibly content just to watch his family. He watches Wuxian speak, smiles faintly at his more ridiculous gestures or arguments. He watches A-Yuan eat, beckons him over to wipe his little mouth when needed. He looks at Xichen, gazes at him for a moment as if searching for something in his expression, and then returns his attention to his husband and son.

This is the Cloud Recesses. Technically, their animated conversation is forbidden; after all, they are eating.

He can't bring himself to say anything.

\---

After lunch, Wuxian transparently declares that he needs Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng both to help him and A-Yuan return the dishes to the kitchens.

Xichen is left alone with Madam Wen. She moves to sit across from him at the table.

"They aren't subtle," he observes.

"They aren't," she agrees. "It's part of their charm. That, and they're never boring."

> Wen Qing has had enough of people being arch and playing political games and turning every conversation into a trap for a lifetime.

She flicks her sleeves, and something in her demeanour shifts; suddenly, she is not his youngest sworn brother's wife, she is the renowned doctor and cultivator, Madam Wen.

"Lan Xichen," she says seriously, "what do you think happened today after the training exercise?"

"I was... upset," he answers, carefully. "Wei Wuxian's exercise was... was reminiscent of -" He's not sure what to say that won't give too much away.

She rolls her eyes. "I know he lived this time before. I gather you have seen his memories directly?"

That makes it easier. "Some of them," he says. "Today's exercise was drawn in part from some of his memories."

"Unpleasant memories," she says clinically. "Were the original events worse?"

He exhales. "Much."

"You came dangerously close to serious qi deviation," she says. "You are still at risk. I suspect you are considering going into seclusion for a time?"

He nods. Was it that obvious?

"Do not," Madam Wen tells him. "Isolation will only put you at greater risk. Wuxian, Wangji, my husband and I will all remain at the Cloud Recesses for the time being. Wangji will assume your duties as the Sect Leader. If he needs assistance with things that involve talking to people, Wuxian will assist him. I will continue my work in the library, and you will spend time with my husband. Among others, but you will not spend very much time alone."

She pulls a pouch from her sleeve, and sets it in front of him. "You will also drink this tea every morning."

> magic antidepressant tea

\---

And so it is.

A-Cheng has clearly been told that he is expected to be physically affectionate with Xichen; he nudges at him, bumps elbows, and at least twice a day, he hugs him. (At first, he has the air of one undertaking a duty with grim determination, but gradually, he relaxes, and it becomes more natural, and his touches soften over time into something gentle and sweet.)

> Finding a new relationship level is weird sometimes but it can be good.

Xichen drinks his daily tea. It's mild, and soothing, and infused with spiritual energy of some kind; he finds it does lift his spirits. Things are just... easier.

He can't face seeing Xue Yang at first, but he's told that Xue Yang has been informed that he is unwell, and he should see Nainai at the kitchens in the evenings instead; apparently Xue Yang was concerned, but not overly so. When Xichen reaches a point where he can - where he wants to, wants to see the boy he's cared for again, not the monster he could have been otherwise - A-Cheng accompanies him.

If Wuxian has told A-Cheng anything about Xue Yang, it doesn't show.

A few weeks after what he has started to think of as _the incident_ , Wuxian finds them both standing watching the junior disciples at sword training.

"Come on, but be quiet," he says, grinning, and then leads them to a meadow on the edge of Cloud Recesses. A very nice one, Xichen thinks, with a beautiful view, and then he sees what Wuxian is actually pointing at.

A-Yuan is lying on the grass, giggling softly, buried under a heap of rabbits. Wangji is, as they watch, solemnly adding another one to the pile.

It's painfully cute.

> FAMILY

A few days later, he and A-Cheng go to the same meadow to enjoy the sunlight and quiet. Xichen falls asleep in the grass.

He wakes up covered in rabbits.

A-Cheng admits _nothing_ , but there is a smile playing at his lips.


End file.
